


Illusions and Illustrations

by nobodys_pearl



Series: New Heroes [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Art, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evillustrator - Freeform, F/M, Fox Miraculous, Fox Miraculous vs Volpina, Frenemies, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Miraculous Ladybug - Freeform, New Love Square, Old Love Square, Slow Burn, Tomato Child, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 113,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7727926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodys_pearl/pseuds/nobodys_pearl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathanael still has flashbacks of his time as the Evillustrator, especially the moment when Hawkmoth took control of his hands. Plagued with the memories of both mental and physical pain, he is afraid to do what he loves most - art. However, when Marinette transforms in front of his eyes, therefore revealing her identity, Nathanael's world begins to change. He finds a friend in Marientte, and possibly a friend in the new girl Lila as well. Maybe his life will fill with color once more. Maybe it will become more miraculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Starry Night

No view was more beautiful, more magical, more miraculous than the Parisian skyline at night. So many glittering lights, the echoing laughs of couples in love, the smell of sweet smoke floating in the air. Nathanael let out a sigh. Sitting on the roof of his house he could see it all. He always loved finding spots like these – where the world seemed to stand still, where he felt like he owned his own corner of the universe.

He leaned back on his hands and smiled. There was only him and the moon. He liked being alone, or, at least he was comfortable with it. Nathanael came to realize that there were two kinds of people in the world – those who liked to fill silences and those who took refuge in it. He considered himself to be more aligned with the latter.

However, even though he was used to being alone, and he didn’t mind the silence, that didn’t mean that he never got lonely. Sitting on the roof, feeling like a bystander as he watched his city teem with life, Nathanael began to feel a little lonely.

He hugged his knees a bit closer to his chest, suddenly feeling the chill of the Parisian night. Looking at the skyline now Nathanael thought its beauty was harsher, almost mocking him and his isolation.

It didn’t look real; it looked like something out of a painting. He looked down at his hands – the hands of an artist. His fingers were long and slender, riddled with small blisters and stains from ink and paint. They were soft yet rough, young yet old. He was afraid of them.

He began to remember another time, a night when Paris looked just as beautiful. He remembered the small flame of affection and hope that warmed his insides as he was waiting for a pretty girl to meet him on a boat. He was excited and happy – maybe he wouldn’t be lonely anymore. He felt like this girl understood him – she liked to create beautiful things too. He also remembered the pain.

He remembered watching as his hand began to shake violently, Hawkmoth’s demands piercing his mind like ice picks. Nathanael – no – the Evillustrator was getting distracted from his goal – to take Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses. The pain shot through his pen and into his body like electricity, overwhelming his senses until he began to see spots. He never felt more afraid in his life, more helpless.

As he looked at his hands now, on the rooftop, he saw that they were shaking again, but he knew it was for a reason other than Hawmoth – it was his own fear. After he was akumatized, whenever he tried to pick up a pencil and start drawing in class, or pick up a brush and paint the walls in his room, he couldn’t do it. He would just remember the pain and shy away. He began to draw less and less, until eventually he drew nothing at all. Art wasn’t real, it was imagination, illusion. Pain, that was real.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a scream, and when he looked up his eyes widened in horror. The sky was filled with black butterflies. A cloud, no, a battalion of akumas blotted out the stars. The night was beautiful no longer. Even worse, the butterflies headed right for Nathanael.

‘No,’ He thought. ‘Not again.’

Through wide eyes he could only watch as the akumas enveloped him, trapped him. He heard that familiar voice in his head: _‘You are mine. You will always be my soldier, my artist, my prey. You are MINE.’_ Nathanael fought back tears, clenching his fists. _‘You think that Ladybug and her little cat saved you?’_ Hawkmoth’s laugh sliced through Nathanael’s mind. _‘Think about this: how can anyone save you from your own emotions?’_

With that Nathanael was falling, falling, the sky getting farther away and the pavement closer. All he could do was let out a gasp. His world began to blur like water colors, dripping and losing shape like crayons melted over canvas. He had never been more afraid of art. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears, not wanting to know when the inevitable splat would come.

 

 

Nathanael’s eyes shot open. There were no more butterflies, no more Hawkmoth. It was just him in an empty classroom. He must have fallen asleep during class again. Through bleary eyes he could see that everyone’s books were still there, and by looking at the blackboard it seemed like Ms. Bustier was in the middle of writing notes on the board.

‘So where did everyone go? And why did they leave in such a hurry?’ Nathanael sat up in his chair and moved his long, red hair out of his face. He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He felt like he was missing something. Images from his nightmare began to fly away as he focused on the task at hand.

Then he heard a crash and someone yelling, “Where is Chloe?!”

“Oh great. It’s an akuma, and they’re after Chloe. What a shocker.” Nathanael mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes a bit.

He tried not to feel bitter about the fact that his classmates didn’t wake him up. He was used to being forgotten. He felt like it was his own fault for sitting alone in the back of the class. But now wasn’t the time to pity himself, now he had to think about what to do next.

After his time as the Evillustrator, he wasn’t as afraid of akumas. He trusted Ladybug. She always managed to save the day. She even managed to trick him out of costume. It was Hawkmoth that terrified him, and the idea that he could control him again.

As he was about to stand up and find a way out of the school without running into the akuma, someone snuck through the door and closed it behind them. He saw that it was Marinette. He was about to say something, maybe ask what was going on when a red blur flew out of her purse.

Marinette yelled, “transforme moi” and suddenly she was covered in a bright pink light. Nathanael shielded his eyes and when he looked again it wasn’t Marinette who stood in front of him, it was Ladybug.

She was about to leave when she heard a cough. When she turned she saw Nathanael, waving awkwardly. He saw her mouth form a shocked “o.”

“Um, hey Marinette.” He said shyly.

He was over his crush on her – besides, he realized that she was too head-over-heels for Adrien to ever notice him – but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t still a little nervous around her. Plus, he knew that this situation was awkward, very awkward.

Nathanael watched as Ladybug’s eyes widened and she began to stutter. “D-did, w-were you there the whole time?” She managed to squeak out. Nathanael shrugged, “Yeah.”

“So you know, that I’m -?” Ladybug struggled to find the words. Nathanael decided to help her out.

“You’re Marinette, and you’re also Ladybug. To be honest I figured it out a while ago.”

“Wait you already knew? For how long?” Ladybug asked, looking a little intimidating with her yo-yo. Now it was Nathanael’s turn to stutter.

“W-well, um, after I was akumatized and Ladybug – you – saved me, I began to draw sketches of you.” Nathanael began to blush, but also became a little sad. Ladybug was the last thing he drew before he became too afraid, before his nightmares ruined everything. Ladybug seemed to notice something was wrong, and Nathanael saw her eyes tighten with concern. He decided to keep going before she asked any questions he didn’t want to answer.

“So, anyway, I started to draw Ladybug. I was grateful to her – you – and I hoped to give you a drawing as a way to say thanks.” He could tell that his face was as red as his hair now. He hated that he always blushed easily. Ladybug gave him a sweet smile.

“But then I realized that when I drew you, Ladybug, it was very similar to how I drew you, you know, as Marinette. Exactly the same, actually, without the mask. That’s when I began to wonder if you two were the same person, and when I thought more about it I realized how obvious it was.” Nathanael paused. “I’m actually surprised that more people don’t know.” He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Ladybug was about to say something, but then they both heard another crash.

“Shoot. I have to go; I should’ve left already. We will talk more about this later though.” Ladybug said, giving Nathanael a stern gaze, almost like he was caught doing something bad. All he did in response was nod. Ladybug turned to leave, but then gave Nathanael one last glace and said, “Oh, and Nathanael? Get yourself to safety, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.” She gave him a warm smile and ran out of the classroom.

‘Yup, I definitely look like a tomato right now.’ Nathanael thought. After a few seconds of processing he finally got out of his chair and went to the doorway. He poked his head into the hallway and when he saw that the coast was clear, he made a break for it. Surprisingly, he managed to make it to an exit and get outside.

He took a moment to catch his breath a little – he was an artist, not an athlete – and then he realized that he was smiling. He saw that he was apart from the reporters and cameras and fellow Parisian citizens, and although he was alone, he didn’t feel so lonely. He felt a little hopeful. Timidly hopeful. He remembered Ladybug’s smile.

 

“ _Alya Cesaire here, ladybloggers, first one on the scene. I swear, my school has an akuma attack every other day…”_

“Ain’t that the truth.” Nathanael said to himself, watching Alya’s video of today’s attack to get a better sense of what happened while he was asleep. So far what he gathered was that a student from another class was akumatized. He couldn’t quite remember his name. He had black hair and pale-ish skin, always wore a button-down – to be honest he seemed to just be a background character in Nathanael’s life.

Apparently Chloe revealed his crush in front of a crowd. Nathanael could sympathize, remembering when Chloe revealed his crush on Marinette. ‘That girl never learns.’ He thought. The kid was so embarrassed and upset that he became the perfect bait for Hawkmoth. Nathanael couldn’t help but glance at his own hands, making sure that he was in control of them.

 _“Finally, Ladybug is here to save the -”_ At that point in the video Alya stopped talking. Nathanael observed how the akuma’s power was to silence people. With a touch of his staff people would be automatically muted, tape covering their mouths. Alya had just become his next victim. With more inspection Nathanael noticed the black piece of paper in the kid’s front shirt pocket. ‘That must be where the akuma’s hiding.’ He thought.

After his time as the Evillustator he spent more time on the Ladyblog. He had to admit, Alya was good at what she did. After watching multiple videos of various attacks, and seeing his own classmates get akumatized, it wasn’t hard to pick up on the pattern – Hawkmoth would send one of his dark butterflies after sensing negative emotions, an akuma would possess an item special to that person, and then the person would fight Ladybug and Chat Noir until the duo broke the possessed item and purified the akuma.

It was simple if someone paid attention. That was what Nathanael was – an observer. He liked to watch, to notice the details in something. It was the artist in him – or at least, the remnants of the artist he used to be.

 _“What, cat got your tongue?”_ Nathanael groaned and rolled his eyes – Chat Noir. That guy was impossible; he couldn’t understand how Marinette could take his awful puns. However, Nathanael had to admit that that cat could fight.

He took on the akuma, staff vs. staff, which gave Marinette – Ladybug – enough time to summon her lucky charm. After that it was easy for her to find the possessed object, break it, and purify the akuma. From what Nathanael could tell the object looked like a letter written in pink, loopy handwriting. ‘It must be a note from his crush.’ Nathanael mused. He hoped that it worked out for those two. Ladybug then proceeded to use her miraculous cure and everything was back to normal. It was like it always was.

“Ladybug never loses.” He said to himself, leaning back in his chair with a small smile.

“You’re right.” Ladybug said from his window, a smug grin on her face. Nathanael let out a startled yell and fell out of his chair. Ladybug quickly left her perch and went to help him up.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to surprise you.” Ladybug said apologetically. Nathanael sat up, rubbing his back a little. “Yes you did. You superheroes love your dramatic entrances. It’s like you think you’re freaking Batman or something.” He said with a pout, crossing his arms.

He winced a bit at what he said, worried that it came off as a bit mean. However, before he could apologize Ladybug began to laugh. It sounded like wind chimes on a breezy day. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, we can’t help it.” She giggled again.

 “Good job, by the way. You know, with the akuma.” He said, a little awkwardly. What do you say to Paris’ superhero, you’re classmate, you’re former crush? Man was this complicated.

“Thanks. Part of the job I guess.” Ladybug replied with a shrug.

“But what’s up with Hawkmoth targeting kids at our school all of the time? It’s like he has some weird fascination with children.” Nathanael shuddered. Ladybug laughed.

“Yeah, it’s so creepy. I hope that he doesn’t have any kids of his own.” She replied, wrinkling her nose a little.

Nathanael imagined how awful it would be to have Hawkmoth as his dad. He imagined hearing that terrible voice every day, being in the same house as him when he went to sleep, having his DNA make up his very being. He checked his hands anxiously. It became a reflex whenever he thought about Hawkmoth.

Then Ladybug’s miraculous beeped and brought Nathanael back to reality. “Oh, I need to transform back now. Is there any place we can talk? Somewhere private?” She asked. Nathanael thought for a moment.

“I know the perfect place.”

 

 

“Wow, this view is beautiful, but I’m still partial to my balcony.” Marinette said. Nathanael watched as she took in the scenery, the skyline reflected in her blue eyes. He looked at the city as well, an image of black butterflies flashing across his mind. He quickly looked away.

Marinette noticed the action, but decided not to press him. He appreciated that. “So you’ve known about my identity for a few months now.” She stated. Nathanael shrugged, “Pretty much.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you knew?” She turned her blue eyes on him. Nathanael thought for a second.

“I didn’t think it really mattered. You’re still Marinette, you’re still Ladybug, but now when I think of either one I see the whole person. The picture is just complete now.”

Marinette smiled at that, then became a little serious. “And you know that you can’t tell anyone who I am, right?”

“Of course. It’s your secret.” Nathanael said immediately. ‘Besides, who would I tell it to?’ He thought to himself.

“What do you mean?” Marinette asked. Crap, he said that part out loud.

“I-I, it’s just, I tend to keep to myself. I don’t really talk to anyone in our class outside of school. W-which is okay, I mean, I like to be alone.” He said quickly. He could see the sadness in Marinette’s eyes. He’d never been quite good at lies, only the ones he told himself. Maybe he didn’t like to be alone as much as he thought. He began inspecting one of the roof tiles.

“I have to say, it feels kind of nice to know that someone knows my secret.” Marinette said. Nathanael looked up at her.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I feel like someone knows who I really am, both sides. It’s been hard keeping this secret for so long. Now we can share it.”

Nathanael looked at her in shock. ‘Share it?’ He knew what Marinette was doing. She knew he was sad, lonely, but instead of pointing it out or asking questions, she knew just what to say to make him feel better. That’s what he liked about Marinette, she knew how to fix everything, that every person needed to be helped in their own way. He should’ve realized that she was Ladybug sooner.

“You’re my confidant now. My secret ace in the hole. Maybe you can help me maintain this crazy double life.” She laughed to herself.

“Okay.” Nathanael said, smiling little. He felt that timid hope again, like a small sprout reaching for the sun.

“We’re going to have to spend a lot more time together you know, you being my secret weapon now.” She gave him a very Ladybug-like wink.

“I-I’ll have to see if I can fit it into my schedule.” Nathanael replied, smiling a little. Marinette giggled at that.

“Well, if you manage to find time, do we have a deal?” She reached out her hand. Nathanael looked at it. Like him, she had the hand of an artist. He looked at her nimble fingers and noticed the tiny scars from sewing needles. But it was more than that – it was the hand of a superhero, a classmate, a friend. He looked at his hand, which at that moment began to feel more like his own. He decided to reach back.

“Deal.”


	2. Almond Blossoms

Nathanael woke to the sound of his alarm. After a dramatic groan he regretfully opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. It was covered with doodles and unfinished ideas. The images had gotten so tangled together over years of drawing with limited space that they were too abstract to name. He preferred it that way though, he felt that it represented how he was.

He remembered all of the times he would stand on his bed and just draw on the ceiling when he couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t done that in a while. Now when he couldn’t sleep he would just lay there, or go on the roof and watch Paris breathe.

He slowly got out of his warm bed, ‘Parting is such sweet sorrow.’ He thought.

Nathanael trudged to his closet and got some clothes. After he got changed he went to the bathroom to try and look presentable. He couldn’t help but run his fingertips along the bathroom wall. Two years ago he painted his own rendition of “Starry Night” on the wall opposite the bathroom mirror. He didn’t exactly get his parent’s permission, but they never noticed anyway. Or, at least, they didn’t say anything.

His fingers traced the yellow swirls that he worked so hard to paint just right. He was proud of it, it took him forever to complete, but it also made him sad. He thought about Van Gogh, the red-haired artist filled with so much sadness and loneliness, a man who strived to use that pain to make something beautiful. At that point Nathanael was looking at his own reflection in the mirror.

 

 

He began his daily walk to school. He didn’t live that far, just on the other side of the park, a block away from Marinette’s parent’s bakery. Besides, his parents were already at work. Most days, like today, they would be gone before he even woke up. He blew a lock of hair out of his face.

“Hey, Nathanael, wait up!” At first Nathanael didn’t realize that someone was talking to him. It wasn’t until that person laid a gentle hand on his shoulder that he registered her presence. He jumped in surprise.

“Oops. Sorry. I guess I snuck up on you again, like Batman.” Marinette laughed.

“Oh, hey Marinette. It’s really my fault, I was spacing out a little.” Nathanael said, looking away. He was still a little shy around her.

“Do you mind if I walk to school with you?” Marinette asked, her blue eyes bright and cheerful. Nathanael couldn’t help but be a little surprised, he was used to walking alone to school everyday. He never had someone join him.

“Um, yeah, okay.” He finally replied. They walked together in silence for a while. Nathanael felt bad, he didn’t want to make things awkward, he just didn’t know what to say. He began to silently curse his lack of social skills.

However, when he looked up at Marinette he noticed that she didn’t seem to mind. ‘Maybe she doesn’t feel the need to fill silences either.’ He thought. So, they continued on like that. They didn’t talk, but Nathanael became to realize that they didn’t need to. He just enjoyed her company, and he hoped that she did too. Eventually they made it to the school. It didn’t take too long, since neither of them lived that far away.

“That was nice.” Marinette said.

“You think so?” Nathanael asked. He was still a little nervous that he made things uncomfortable by not saying anything. When he thought about it, he just assumed that he was an inconvenience in most social situations.

“Absolutely. It’s a beautiful day. It was nice to enjoy it, and it was nice to have someone to enjoy it with.” She gave him one of her easy smiles. “Same time tomorrow?” She asked.

“W-hat? Oh, um, yeah, sure!” He managed to stumble out.

“Hey girl! I can’t believe you missed another akuma attack!” Alya said, walking up to Marinette.

“Yeah, I managed to find an exit before things got too bad. I guess I’m just lucky.” She gave Nathanael a subtle wink. He hid his laugh.

“Well, not to fear. I have the whole thing on video. Let’s get to class so I can show it to you!” She began to tug lightly on Marinette’s arm. Marinette turned to Nathanael.

“You want to come?” She asked.

“No, that’s alright. I’ve got to get some books from my locker. Besides, I saw the video yesterday. Good job by the way.” He said the last part to Alya. He watched as her eyes flashed with pride.

“Of course it’s good, I’ve got a reputation to uphold as Paris’ expert on all things Ladybug.” She said, flipping her ombre hair dramatically over her shoulder. Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes a bit.

“I’ll see you later, Nathanael.” She said.

“Y-yeah. Later.” He replied. With that, the two girls left, Alya beginning to talk more about the Ladyblog while Marinette respectfully listened. Nathanael laughed a bit to himself.

‘So Alya really doesn’t know that her best friend is also her favorite superhero.’ He thought to himself. He adjusted the strap on his backpack and made his way inside the school.

“That’s hilarious.”

 

 

Nathanael entered the classroom after stopping by his locker. He passed by Marinette, who gave him a small smile and a wave. He noticed that Alya was still talking about the Ladyblog, but suddenly she stopped and nudged Marinette. Marinette followed her friend’s gaze and began to blush furiously. Nathanael turned and saw that Adrien was entering the room with Nino. He observed how he glided over to his desk with grace and ease, like a cat. ‘Does he ever stop modeling?’ Nathanael couldn’t help but think.

He didn’t dislike Adrien. He actually seemed like a nice guy, even though he was friends with Chloe. He just couldn’t help but be a little jealous. It was Adrien that Marinette liked, not him. It made him feel a little…small. He turned back towards Marinette, who was getting increasingly flustered, very unlike Ladybug. ‘Adrien must be really special.’ He mused, making his way to his seat at the back of the class.

Eventually, the rest of his classmates trickled into the room. He saw Rose and Juleka enter. Rose was talking and animatedly waving her arms while Juleka watched her, smiling softly. Juleka made eye contact with Nathanael and threw a small smile his way. He smiled back. He felt like Juleka understood him the best. She liked art as well and she knew what it felt like to be a bit of an outcast. The only difference was that she had Rose.

Nathanael watched as Kim, Alix and Max entered next. Kim and Alix were arguing and Max was rolling his eyes. Both Nathanael and Max could pick up on the romantic tension. Except, after further inspection, Nathanael thought that Max looked a little…jealous? He wondered.

Then Ivan and Mylene arrived, holding hands and blushing. ‘Cute.’ Nathanael thought. He was a sucker for cinnamon bun romances. It wasn’t hard to tell that they made a great pair.

Lastly, Chloe came into the classroom, Sabrina close behind. Nathanael couldn’t help but grimace as he watched Chloe drape herself over Adrien before taking her seat – again, Sabrina following close behind. He felt bad for Sabrina. He didn’t really have any friends, but he would rather have that than what Sabrina had.

He looked around the classroom. He could see everything, and nobody could really see him. He knew a lot about his classmates from just observing them, maybe more than they knew about themselves. He liked his seat, well, for the most part. Watching everyone enter the class only reminded him that they all had someone. He glanced over at the empty seat next to him. He heaved a heavy sigh. Then he put his head on the desk, planning to take a quick nap before class started.

 

 

“Are you sleeping? Again?” An accusing voice startled him awake. He picked up his head and moved his long bangs out of his eyes to get a good look at his abuser, anticipating it to be Chloe. He was surprised when he saw narrowed green eyes, long brown hair, and an Italian complexion.

“Are you just going to stare at me?” She asked, crossing her arms.

Nathanael rubbed his eyes and said, “You’re…Lila, right?”

She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. “Obviously.” Then she sat down in the seat next to him.

“Wait? You sit here?” Nathanael couldn’t remember her sitting next to him. Actually, he couldn’t remember her even being in this class. All he knew was that she transferred to this school only a few days ago. He also remembered that she was akumatized shortly after arriving as well. Talk about a nice “Paris Welcome.” He couldn’t help but glance at his hands, it was starting to become a compulsive habit.

She rolled her eyes again. He was impressed, she rolled her eyes even more than Chloe. “Yes, I sit here, tomato. Yesterday was my first official day of classes, but I guess you were too busy snoring to notice.”

‘Did she just call me tomato?’ Nathanael thought. Lila turned her nose up in the air and looked away from him, obviously showing that the conversation was over.

Nathanael let out a sigh and rested his head on his arms. Then he saw that Marinette was watching Lila. She looked a little tense, maybe even guilty? Her eyes were narrowed with what seemed to be both suspicion and concern. He began to wonder why, but then he remembered that she was Ladybug. It was only a few days ago that she had to fight their new classmate. However, it still seemed like there was more to it.

Before he could think much of it, however, he noticed that Adrien also turned around to look at Lila, before facing back to talk to Nino. Nathanael could tell by the set of his shoulders that he was also tense. He wondered why. Did he and Lila have some sort of history? He vaguely remembered seeing Lila and Adrien alone in the library together a few days ago. Again, he felt like there was more to it. Then Ms. Bustier told the class to settle down, and she began teaching. He’d have to think about it more later.

 

 

Lunch time. Nathanael grabbed his stuff and made his way to the door. He was planning on heading home and making himself something quick, like he always did. He used to spend some of his time painting as well, but now his brushes and canvas lay in a lonely corner in his room. He wondered what he would do to fill the time.

“Hey, Nathanael, wait up.” At this point he was already outside, at the bottom of the stairs. He turned and saw Marinette running to catch up with him. A little flushed, but not out of breath – she was Ladybug after all – she said, “I was wondering if you would like to join Alya and me for lunch?” Nathanael was caught off guard.

“W-well I didn’t bring lunch with me –” He began.

“No problem. Alya and I were headed towards my parent’s bakery. Maman is already making us lunch, and knowing her she probably made way more food than necessary.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose…” Nathanael said, looking down at his shoes.

“You won’t be imposing at all. My parents would be happy to meet you, and Alya won’t mind either. I think you got on her good side when you complimented the blog.” She laughed.

“O-okay then.” Nathanael finally said, giving a small smile. Marinette beamed and linked one of her arms with his. He could feel his cheeks getting warm.

“Hey, Alya, let’s go!” She called to her best friend, waving her free arm to get Alya’s attention. She was by the school’s entrance, talking with Nino and Adrien. Alya looked up and smiled at Marinette. Nathanael could see that it was a sneaky smile. It made him a bit nervous. Alya said one last thing to Nino, and then the three of them made their way over to Marinette and Nathanael. Nathanael watched Marinette’s eyes widen as she saw Adrien walk over.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Nathanael asked. Marinette whipped her neck towards him, her eyes even wider than before.

“W-what do you mean? I’m not in love with Adrien.” She gave an uncomfortable scoff.

Nathanael laughed. “I didn’t say Adrien.”

‘I didn’t say love either.’ He thought to himself. He didn’t realize how bad she had it.

Marinette put her head in her hands and groaned. “How are you able to figure out all of my secrets?”

“I’m just clever.” He shrugged. Marinette saw the hint of mischief in his smile.

“Yeah, like a fox.” She said, gently punching his arm and smiling.

“Now Marinette, didn’t I teach you that violence is never the answer?” Alya said playfully as she approached the duo, Nino and Adrien behind her.

“Eh. I might have deserved it.” Nathanael answered.

“No, I can’t have my number one Ladyblog fan getting injured.” Alya remarked, wagging a finger. Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Yeah Marinette, what would Ladybug say if you got one of her biggest supporters injured?” Nathanael said. He watched as an assortment of different emotions flashed across Marinette’s face. At first she was surprised, then touched, and then she tried to hide her smirk.

“I think Ladybug would be on my side.” She finally said. Nathanael’s eyes flashed with amusement.

“No, no, Marinette. Ladybug is the defender of Paris. She stands for justice not violence!” Alya said, the admiration in her eyes. With that Marinette and Nathanael couldn’t hold it in any longer. They both began to laugh.

“What?” Alya asked, hands on her hips.

“Alya, you might be a little obsessed.” Nino said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I stand by what I say. Let’s go eat already.” Then she remembered something. “Oh, Marinette, it’s okay if Nino and Adrien come too, right? Adrien said that he was craving some croissants.” She gave Marinette a wink. Marinette blushed.

Nathanael looked over to see if Adrien noticed the exchange, but he was oblivious. ‘Wow, I’m really beginning to understand why no one else knows that Marinette’s Ladybug. They’re all clueless.’ Nathanael thought.

“Y-yes. Of course. Nathanael’s coming along as well.” She said, once more looping her arm with his.

“Great. You can tell me what you like most about the blog!” Alya said to Nathanael. He began to get a little flustered, then shot Marinette a short glare as she started to laugh.

They began to make their way to Marinette’s place, and once everyone else was out of ear shot, Marinette said, “I heard that Ladybug is a big fan of Nathanael as well.” Nathanael turned towards her and saw the wide smile on her face. He remembered that small flame that warmed his heart as he waited for Marinette on that boat. However, this flame was different. It wasn’t a flame of foolish romance. It was something stronger, something that felt more right. It was a flame of friendship.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to name each chapter after a painting by Van Gogh, so I encourage you all to look up the painting before or after you read, see if you guys can figure out why I chose the particular painting for the particular chapter. Anyway, Enjoy! :D


	3. Tree Roots

“Hey Papa! Maman!” Marinette called as she led Nathanael and the others into the bakery. Tom came out of a ‘employee’s only’ door, carrying a huge stack of flour. “Bonjour, mon trésor.” He said, setting the flour down and giving her daughter a peck on the cheek.

“I see that we have more guests than usual.” Tom observed. Nathanael could tell that Marinette’s dad was particularly aware of all of the boys in his bakery.

“Yes. I hope that’s okay.” Marinette said. Tom put his hand on her shoulder and gave a short chuckle. “Well, Sabine’s made plenty of food, so the more the merrier.” Marinette smiled up at him.

Nathanael watched the interaction. It was strange to him. They were so comfortable with each other, so familiar. He didn't get to see his parents all that much. Work kept them both so busy that they just didn’t have time for moments like these. He wondered what it must be like, to always have someone there.

“Oh, I should probably introduce you to everyone.” Marinette said to her father. “You know Alya of course.” Tom winked at Alya and gave her a fist-bump. Nathanael smiled at that. “You also remember Adrien from that gaming tournament practice.” She said, Nathanael noticing her slight blush.

“It’s nice to see you again, sir.” Adrien said, shaking his hand. Tom smiled. “You’re very polite, but you can call me Tom.” He responded warmly.

“And this is Nino, Alya’s boyfriend.” Tom raised his eyebrows a bit at that. Then he crossed his arms over his chest and said, “You better not break my girl’s heart. She a member of the family.” Nino’s eyes widened in fear, and Alya’s cheeks became a bit pink. Marinette just laughed.

“Last but not least, this is Nathanael.” Nathanael couldn’t help but look down at his shoes a little shyly, but he could still feel Tom’s gaze on him.

“Wait a second.” Tom’s eyes squinted in thought. Nathanael began to worry that he did something wrong.

“You’re the young man who helped me clean up all of that frosting.” Tom finally said. Nathanael looked up at him in shock, he couldn’t believe that he remembered.

  _It was four years ago._ _His parents were forced to work late on his birthday, so Nathanael decided to go to the bakery to get himself a treat. He was used to going to places on his own, and he knew that the bakery was only a block away._

_Once he entered the store he remembered seeing a huge man slip and fall, and his bag full of frosting burst once it hit the floor. Orange frosting was everywhere._

_Acting on reflex, Nathanael went to help the giant man back on his feet, and then grabbed some napkins that were near the cash register. Together they cleaned up the whole mess in record time._

_“Thank you for your help, young man.” Nathanael remembered Tom saying, putting his floor cleaner away and discarding the used napkins and towels._

_“N-no problem.” Nathanael said quietly. Tom wiped a bit of frosting off of Nathanael’s nose and they both laughed – Tom’s laugh like a boom of thunder and Nathanael’s like a soft rain._

_“So what would you like from the bakery? It’s on the house.” Tom said, giving Nathanael a wide smile. Nathanael’s eyes became bright and he smiled as well._

_“I-I would like a small cake if that’s okay. It’s my birthday.” Nathanael said. Tom gave the boy a puzzled look._

_“Shouldn’t your parents be the ones to pick up your cake?” He asked. Nathanael looked at his shoes._

_“They’re at work,” was all that he said. Tom frowned at that, but quickly brightened up and said, “Alright then. I’ll make you a cake right now, the best cake in all of Paris!” Nathanael bounced a bit on his toes. “Really?” He said excitedly._

_“It’s a baker’s promise. But I’m going to need some help. Would you like to be my assistant?” Tom asked. Nathanael’s eyes widened in awe, and he nodded his head enthusiastically. Tom let out a hearty laugh._

_“Then let’s get to work!”_

_For the rest of the afternoon Tom and Nathanael worked together to make his cake. Apparently Tom’s wife and daughter were away for the weekend, so it was just the two of them. Nathanael didn’t realize until later that Tom closed the bakery early that day. Together they made a beautiful chocolate cake with the same kind of orange frosting that they cleaned up hours earlier._

_“I promise that this frosting has never been on the floor.” Tom said with a laugh. Nathanael could still remember the exact shade of orange, a pretty burnt color, something you would find in a sunset. Later that day he tried to mix his paints together in order to get that same beautiful shade, but it just didn’t have the same warmth._

_“You’re a natural decorator,” Tom commented as he watched Nathanael add embellishments to the cake._

_“Yeah, I’m an artist!” Nathanael declared proudly, his baker’s hat a bit crooked on his head. Tom laughed and clapped a hand on Nathanael’s shoulder._

_“I’m not surprised. You’ve got some raw talent.”_

_Nathanael beamed._

_Once they were done they ate the cake together, and Nathanael remembered it tasting even better than it looked. Eventually, it was getting late and Nathanael had to head home before it got dark. He tried to hand his baker’s hat back to Tom, but Tom politely refused, saying, “It’s a birthday gift.” Nathanael put the hat back on his head, thanked Tom for his hospitality, and ran home. The warmth of the bakery clung to him all night._

_Since then Nathanael went to the bakery a few more times, but it was either Marinette or her mom working the register. He never saw Tom again, until today._

 Tom walked up to Nathanael and gave him a bear hug. Nathanael was a bit stiff, but he was comforted by the smell of sugar and frosting. It reminded him of simpler times, before Chloe, before Hawkmoth, before the Evillustrator. When Tom finally let go Nathanael could see the confused looks on his classmates’ faces. He made eye contact with Marinette, whose head was cocked a bit to the side. Nathanael simply shrugged.

“Lunch is ready.” Nathanael heard Marinette’s mom’s voice.

“Coming Maman!” Marinette called back, leading her friends to the kitchen. She walked beside Nathanael and gave him a, ‘we’re talking about what just happened later’ look. Nathanael just shrugged again.

 

 

Nathanael rubbed his stomach contentedly. He didn’t remember the last time he had good food like that. He was used to meals that came out of a box and resided in his freezer.

“You guys are welcome anytime.” Tom had said before they all left to get back to school, looking at Nathanael in particular.

Now Nathanael was making his way back to class. The others were still talking on the steps, but as he watched Alya and Nino’s cheesy flirting and Marinette and Adrien’s two-person act, which he named “Flustered and Oblivious,” respectively, he realized that he didn’t want to be a fifth wheel.

Lunch was fun though, it made him smile just thinking about it. It was almost like they always hung out together, it was so comfortable. Nathanael didn’t talk very much, and when it did it was usually to Marinette, but for now he was just content to listen, to be a part of it.

He finally made it to the classroom. He was still quite early, so he expected to be the only one there. However, he soon realized that he wasn’t alone. He saw Lila sitting at her desk, writing something in her notebook. Nathanael coughed, which got Lila’s attention. She just rolled her eyes and kept writing.

“Hey, Lila.” Nathanael said. All she did was let out a grunt of acknowledgment.

“How was lunch?” He asked. He figured that if she was going to be his desk buddy for the rest of the year, he should at least try and befriend her.

“None of your business, tomato.” She shot back. Nathanael laughed.

“What’s so funny?” She said, finally looking up at him. She was glaring, but it was a start.

“I just like the nickname.” He replied.

“It’s meant to be an insult.” She said, rolling her eyes again.

“I don’t see being a tomato as an insult.” Nathanael shrugged. “I like tomatoes, and with my red hair, I do kind of look like one.” Lila opened her mouth but didn’t say anything, deciding to give him a puzzled look instead.

“You’re weird.” She finally responded, looking back down to continue doing whatever she was doing in her notebook.

“Did you eat lunch here? Alone?” Nathanael asked after a beat of silence. Lila’s head shot up. Her expression quickly went from shock to embarrassment to anger.

“W-what gave you that idea?” She sputtered out. Nathanael blew a lock of hair out of his face.

“Well, you’re here way earlier than you need to be, by yourself. And I noticed a paper bag and some wrappers in the trash near Ms. Bustier’s desk on the way in. I know they can’t be our teacher’s because she goes home to eat lunch with her kids.” Nathanael couldn’t help but feel a little proud. Attention to detail, that was his whole shtick. But mostly he was sad. The main reason that he knew Lila ate lunch here, alone, was that he could see the loneliness in her eyes, something he saw whenever he looked in the mirror.

Lila just continued to look angry and glanced away from him. “You think you’re Sherlock Holmes or something.” She crossed her arms and pouted.

Although she was annoyed he couldn’t help but think that she looked kind of adorable, but he would never say that out loud. Instead Nathanael went to sit in his seat. Lila seemed offended by the action, and scooted away from him.

“What are you writing?” Nathanael asked. Almost out of reflex Lila covered her notebook with her hands. She shot him a poisonous look.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as nosy. I was just curious is all.” He stuttered, blushing a bit. Lila analyzed his face.

“Now you really do look like a tomato.” She concluded. Nathanael’s mouth gaped open in surprise, and then he began to laugh. Lila gave him another one of her glares, but eventually looked away, blushing a bit herself.

The class began to trickle in. This time Juleka was telling a story to Rose, and Rose was listening with wide, attentive eyes and a smile. Then Chloe strutted in with Sabrina, her loyal lackey, at her side. Nathanael saw Mylene give Ivan a quick peck on the cheek before they walked in, Ivan’s face getting redder with each step. Then Marinette and Adrien came in, “Flustered and Oblivious.” Nathanael noticed the venomous look that Chloe was shooting Marinette’s way. Alya and Nino weren’t far behind, bickering about something and acting like an old married couple. Lastly, Alix and Kim came racing through the classroom, both claiming that they got there first, while Max just let out a sigh and took his seat.

“I got here first, right Max?” Kim threw an arm over Max’s shoulder and gave an expectant look. Nathanael saw that Max was blushing a bit.

“I-I’m not getting involved.” He replied, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“He’s not getting involved because I was the obvious winner.” Alix said smugly.

“Oh yeah?” Kim said, walking up to Alix.

“Yeah!” She declared, getting on her tiptoes so that she could be at eye-level.

“Those two need to get a room.” Lila said. Nathanael stopped watching Alix and Kim argue and glanced at Lila.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“It’s obvious they like each other. They should just make-out already.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“So you see it too!” Nathanael said, a little too loudly. Lila looked a bit taken aback.

“I-It’s just that, from where I’m sitting – we’re sitting – we can see everything. It’s so obvious that they like each other, but know one else sees it!” Nathanael said, a little frustrated.

“That’s because everyone in this class is oblivious.” Lila replied. Nathanael gave her a strange look. She squirmed a bit under his gaze.

“What?” She asked defensively.

“I’ve never had someone who understands. I thought I was crazy.” Nathanael said.

Lila blushed a bit and said, “Just because I’m not dense like your other classmates doesn’t mean you’re not crazy.” She said, turning up her nose. “Tomato.”  She couldn’t help but add.

“But there is one thing that you missed.” Nathanael said, leaning back in his chair.

“What did I miss?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. He could see the gears in her mind turning, trying to figure it out.

“It’s understandable really, for you to not have figured it out yet, we can’t all be Sherlock Holmes.” He said smugly. Lila rolled her eyes and said, “Just spit it out, tomato.”

“You see, there is another player in this game of love.” Nathanael began.

“What do you mean?” Lila asked, intrigued.

“Max.” Nathanael said.

“The glasses kid? He definitely doesn’t have a crush on Alix.” Lila replied, beginning to lose interest.

“I wasn’t talking about Alix.” Nathanael gave Lila a sly grin as he watched the realization dawn on her face. She looked over and watched as Kim hugged Max from behind, using him as a human shield as Alix tried to get to him, claiming that she would kick his butt. She saw how Max looked flustered and red as Kim was holding him.

“Ohh.” Lila finally said.

“Yup.” Nathanael said, looking smug. Lila faced him. She seemed impressed. He felt his insides heat up as he looked into those pretty green eyes. Then she looked away, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Not bad, for a tomato.” She finally said. Nathanael had a dopey grin on his face.


	4. Willows At Sunset

“Okay, Nathanael, you can do this.” For the past hour he had been pacing around his room, trying to muster up the courage to paint. Nathanael took a deep breath and approached the white canvas that he had set up. With a shaking hand he reached for the paintbrush.

“So far, so good. There’s nothing to worry about.” Nathanael said to himself, his hand getting closer to the brush.

He had such a great day today, spending time with Marinette and getting to know Lila, that he felt like painting his feelings. He hadn’t felt that familiar itch to paint in months. Maybe he was getting over his fear. He could feel that flame of hope getting larger, warming his insides. He didn’t want that feeling to die.

He thought about Marinette’s warm smile and Lila’s bright eyes. He thought of Tom’s suffocating hugs and Alya’s indomitable wit. He thought of reds and blues and greens and oranges. He thought of love.

Slowly but surely, his hand reached the brush and tentatively took hold of it. He could feel the smooth wood of the handle and the dried blobs of paint that speckled it. He didn’t realize how much he had missed it.

Eagerly he dipped the brush in some red paint and raised it to the canvas. He felt a little more whole again, a little more like himself, like the shattered pieces of his being were coming together.

As he was about to make his first stroke, his hand shook violently and the brush clattered to the floor. All he could do was stare at his hand in shock. Harsh flashes of black and purple assaulted his vision. He became lost in the sea of darkness in front of him. He could hear that terrible laugh.

 _‘So you would like to draw for me again, Evillustrator?”_ Hawkmoth’s disembodied voice asked, amusement in his tone. Nathanael was too afraid to reply _. “Your life is full of illustrations, isn’t it? Full of illusions that you have created?’_

“W-what do you mean?” Nathanael managed to choke out.

Hawkmoth let out a cold laugh. _‘Your life is built on lies, on the pretty pictures you make for yourself. You think that designer girl likes you? She pities you. You think you could befriend that new girl? She is disgusted by you.’_

“S-stop.” Nathanael whispered, covering his hands over his ears, but Hawmoth continued, even louder than before.

 _‘The biggest lie is that you think that your parents love you.’_ Nathanael’s eyes widened in shock, in horror. He felt like he was being ripped apart.

 _‘If your parents really loved you,’_ Hawkmoth said _, ‘Why are they never around? It’s because they hate the sight of you. They work so much because they want to forget about you. They wished you never even existed.’_ Hawkmoth laughed again. _‘You can try and make art again, but know that no amount of paint can cover up your own pathetic lies. You’ve been rejected by your friends, by your family, even your paintbrush has abandoned you. But I never will. I wait for the day when you join me again, when you become who you truly are.’_

With that, Hawkmoth’s voice ceased. The darkness faded away, and Nathanael was once more in his room, alone. He was on the floor, his knees cradled to his chest as he lied there. He could feel hot tears on his cheeks as he retreated into himself, trying to make himself as small as possible. His red hair covered his face, a safety blanket between himself and the world.

Pain and despair sunk into his skin, his bones, snuffing out the warm and vulnerable flame inside of him. As he cried his whole world seemed to only consist of him, an abandoned paint brush and a blank canvas. He could feel the negative energy enveloping him; he could almost sense the black butterfly as it was coming to take his soul.

“Na na na na na na BATMAN!” Marinette yelled as she busted through Nathanael’s bedroom door. “Sorry that I kind of barged in but I thought that I’d surpr- Nathanael?!” Marinette said, shock in her voice. She rushed to Nathanael’s side. He could feel her soft hands on his shoulders, his hands, moving the hair out of his face.

“Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?” She tried to get him to look at her, but he could only stare at the paintbrush. It was staining the floor with red, almost like it was bleeding to death.

“Nathanael, talk to me!” Marinette demanded, shaking him a little. Nathanael blinked a few times and then finally looked up at Marinette. He saw her big blue eyes, full of concern. He slowly got up into a siting position, Marinette still kneeling in front of him, her hands on his shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” She asked softly. He stared at her face for a moment. He saw the pain in her eyes. It was almost like she could feel his hurt, like she was trying to share his burden, even though she had no clue what was going on. He could feel his lip begin to tremble. He looked at the white canvas behind her. It reflected his own emptiness, his own hollowness, his own worthlessness. Because what is the point of a blank canvas?

Marinette gently cupped his cheek and moved his attention on her. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” She asked.

Nathanael’s vision began to blur as he felt fresh tears well up in his eyes. He reached for Marinette and held onto her, like she was the only life preserver in a raging sea. He squeezed her tight as he let out a sob. After Marinette got over the initial shock, she began to hold him just as tightly, making small circles in his back and whispering comforting words.

‘All I am now is a blank canvas,’ was all that Nathanael could think as he cried into Marinette’s shoulder.

 

 

Nathanael woke up to find himself in his bed. He sat up clutching his head.; he had a slight headache. His eyes felt dry and tired and his throat felt raw. “So it was all a dream?” Nathanael thought to himself. He was about to get out of bed when Marinette came through the door, holding two cups of tea.

She noticed that he was looking at her and said, “So you’re awake.” She handed him a cup of tea and sat on the edge of his bed.

“How long was I asleep?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Not long, less than a half hour.” She said with a shrug. “How are you feeling?” She asked, her eyes tight with worry.

‘So it wasn’t a dream,’ Nathanael realized. He looked down into his mug of tea. How was he feeling? The best way he could describe it was bruised. He felt black and blue on the inside.

“I’m fine.” He croaked out, still staring into his mug. He watched as the steam curled and warmed his face. He felt Marinette’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw her intent gaze.

“You don’t have to lie to me.” She said softly. He couldn’t help but flinch at her words. _‘No amount of paint can cover up your own pathetic lies.’_ Marinette noticed him shift away.

“I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” Nathanael could see the hurt in her eyes. He could tell that she was blaming herself, although he couldn’t understand why.

“No, no, of course not. I’m just, dealing with some stuff.” Nathanael replied.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Marinette asked, her voice only a little above a whisper. Nathanael’s instinct was to deflect, to look away and deny, but as he looked into her blue eyes – eyes filled with such sincerity and kindness –he felt safe. He took a deep breath.

“I haven’t drawn or painted anything in months.” Nathanael began, slumping his shoulders a bit. Marinette’s eyes widened a little in shock, but she let him continue. “Ever since I became the Evillustrator, I have been too afraid to pick up a brush or a pen or even a crayon. I just keep having flashbacks of when Hawkmoth was in control of me.”

Nathanael took another deep breath. “When I was an akuma, all I wanted was for you to notice me. I didn’t care about the miraculouses. T-that made Hawmoth angry.” Nathanael paused, trying to think about how to put his next words. “He-he hurt me, Marinette. He took control of my hands and it was like he sent electricity through my body. He hurt me. I still remember the feeling.”

Nathanael stared at his hands, which were being warmed by the tea. Marinette let out a little gasp. When Nathanael looked up he could see that there were tears in her eyes. “I-I didn’t know that he could do that.” She said quietly.

“Now I have nightmares about him, or I can hear his voice in my head. I’m always afraid that he’ll turn me into an akuma again. I’m always afraid, afraid of my own emotions, afraid of art, afraid of my hands. I’m afraid of myself.” Nathanael let out, looking at Marinette with a little desperation in his eyes, like she could just use her Ladybug magic and make it better. However, the more logical side of him knew that this trauma cut deeper than magic, and it would take more than a miraculous cure to fix him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” Marinette asked. Nathanael just shrugged.

“It’s not like we were all that close.”

Hurt flashed across Marinette’s eyes, but she also knew that it was true.

“Have you talked to anyone about this?” She asked.

“Who would I tell?” Nathanael responded, feeling a little empty inside.

“What about your parents?” She offered.

“My parents aren’t really home all that much.” Nathanael said, trying not to remember Hawkmoth’s words. “My mom works for Gabriel Agreste, who keeps her busy all of the time, and my dad has an important job at the Louvre, so he has to pull some late nights. If they didn’t work so hard we wouldn’t have this house; I wouldn’t be able to go to such a good school.” Nathanael shrugged.

“But is it really worth it if they never get to see their son? If you never get to really be a family?” Marinette asked.

“They seem to be fine with it.” Nathanael said, his eyes drifting back to the blank canvas. His parents had always loved art, and when Nathanael was little he knew that he wanted to be an artist. He had dreams of his work being in the Louvre, or being the inspiration for one of Gabriel Agreste’s designs. He hoped that one day his art would get his parent’s attention. It never did.

Marinette cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. Turquoise and blue. Sea and sky.

“Your parents do love you. I know it.” She said.

“How can you be so sure?” He asked.

“They work so hard because they want you to have a good life. They want you to live in a nice house. They want you to get an education. They care about you – they just have an indirect way of showing it.” She said. Nathanael could understand her point of view, but he thought back on the years of loneliness.

“Then why do they never want to see me? Why do they never notice me?” Nathanael asked, a little desperately. Marinette’s eyes were sad.

“I don’t have all of the answers.” She sighed. “Sometimes people have a hard time showing their love, but that doesn’t always mean that it isn’t there. You have to talk to your parents. They probably have no clue how you’re feeling, and they need to know. Parents should never make their kids feel unloved, even if it’s unintentional.” She said firmly, giving his shoulders a slight squeeze.

Nathanael thought about that for a moment. “Okay, I’ll talk to them.”

Marinette gave one of her warm smiles and hugged Nathanael. He reveled in her warmth. Then she pulled away and looked at him, almost like how a parent would inspect a child for injuries. Nathanael began to feel a little embarrassed and decided that that was enough therapy for the day.

“So why did you stop by?” He asked. Marinette gave him a confused look for a moment before recognition dawned on her face.

“Oh right.” She said, getting off the bed and walking towards a bag by the bedroom door. “I brought some of my dad’s pastries. I thought that we could enjoy them on your roof.” She said. Nathanael could smell the sweets from where he was sitting.

“There’s nothing I’d like more.” He replied with a small smile, his mouth watering a little.

 

 

“So what’s it like being Ladybug? Being a superhero?” Nathanael asked, feeling the roof tiles on his back as he reclined and watched a flock of birds traverse an impossibly blue sky. He glanced at Marinette, who was also looking at the endless blue. Her eyebrows were knitted in thought. She popped a piece of croissant in her mouth.

“It’s miraculous.” She began between chews. “When I move through Paris with my yo-yo, it’s like I’m flying.” Marinette had a look of wonder in her eyes. “I love my job. I love helping people. It’s makes me feel brave and confident and…important.” She said the last part a little shyly.

“You’ve always been important.” Nathanael said, looking at her. She refused to look back however, her gaze fixed on a spot in the distance.

“Before I was Ladybug I was just this clumsy girl in love with fashion. I had absolutely no confidence.” She laughed a little bitterly. “Chloe used to bully me so much in school that I was too afraid to talk to other people. Alya’s the first person I ever considered to be a best friend. Well, not including Chat Noir.” Marinette said with a small smile.

Nathanael thought about this. He knew that Chloe bullied Marinette, she bullied everyone. He never noticed that Marinette used to be lonely though, that she was insecure. He felt guilty for never realizing, especially since he liked to pride himself on his observational skills. Then he realized that he let the silence go on for too long. A normal person would’ve immediately reassured her, said something to make her feel better. Nathanael said nothing.

‘Wow. I really am a lousy friend.’ He thought, groaning internally. He thought about what he should do. Almost on instinct he grabbed her hand. Marinette looked him, a little surprised, but she didn’t pull away. For the time being they were linked – linked in friendship and understanding.

“I always thought that Chat Noir was a dork.” Nathanael admitted, looking at a cloud in the distance. Marinette looked at him in confusion.

‘Oh no. Did I say the wrong thing? I should’ve said something comforting. I can’t believe I just insulted her partner.’ Nathanael thought, mentally smacking his forehead. He could feel his cheeks getting warm.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then Marinette let out a giggle and a cute snort.

“He is absolutely a dork, and his puns are terrible.” She said, still laughing. Nathanael let out a mental sigh of relief, and then began to laugh as well.

“His puns are the worst! One day you won’t even have to fight the akuma! That cat’s bad jokes will be debilitating enough.” Nathanael said with exasperation, his arms waving in the air. Marinette laughed even harder. Soon they were both rolling on the roof, sides sore and smiles strained as they joked about the alley cat. Nathanael thought that it was the best feeling in the world.

“But in all seriousness,” Marinette began, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I wouldn’t be Ladybug without Chat. He’s saved me more times than I can count.” She said fondly. Nathanael wondered what it was like to have someone you could trust so completely. He also wondered if anyone ever talked about him the same way Marinette talked about Chat Noir, with a brightness in her eyes. He doubted it, but he also realized how furiously he wanted it.

“You both are so amazing.” Nathanael admitting, blushing a little. “You guys save Paris everyday, and you make it look so easy.”

“I’m just lucky, it’s part of my shtick.” She replied with a shrug.

“Marinette, you are so much more than that. You’re so much more than a couple of spots.” Nathanael said. Marinette looked at him in surprise. “You always know what to do. You always have a plan. You’re smart and strong and compassionate. You were a miraculous person way before you ever donned the suit. Don’t ever think otherwise.” Nathanael finished, wishing he had said that much earlier. When he looked back at Marinette, he saw that her eyes were misty. He began to get slightly nervous. Then Marinette gave him a hug. This time Nathanael felt a little like he was the life preserver.

“Thanks, Nathanael. I needed that.” She said into his shirt. He only smiled and hugged back.

“I wouldn’t be much of a secret weapon if I couldn’t boost some morale.” He said. Marinette laughed and pulled away, wiping her eyes.

After a beat of silence she said, “My dad told me about that time you came to his rescue a few years ago.” Marinette said with a grin. It took Nathanael a moment, but he realized that she was talking about the frosting incident.

“Oh yeah. It was nothing.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Not to my dad. Apparently you have a free pass to our house. You can stop by whenever you like.” She declared.

“Wow.” Nathanael said, unable to conceal his happiness at the thought of getting to be in that warm bakery, in that warm house, with that warm family.

“He must really like you.” She said with a wink.

“He just knows that I’m usually alone in my house.” He said with a shrug. Marinette put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Seriously, come by the bakery whenever you want. I know someone who can give you free pastries.” She said the last part with a smirk.

“Oh really. I think I know that person too.” Nathanael said, grabbing the last macaroon from the bag. Marinette laughed. Then they fell into a comfortable silence.

“Oh. It’s getting kind of late.” Marinette said, watching as the sun began to set. “Sorry that I kind of broke into your house.” She said a little sheepishly.

“Trust me, I’m glad that you did.” Nathanael replied, trying not to think about Hawkmoth’s blade-like voice. “But why didn’t you just swing in as Ladybug like last time?” He asked.

“Well, I realized that it’s too dangerous to be making frequent visits to a civilian’s house. If anyone saw us you could be in danger.”

“I didn’t even think about that.” Nathanael said, putting a hand on his forehead.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been at this superhero game for a while now. This kind of thinking has been built into my system.” She stood up and offered Nathanael a hand. He took it and they both went back into his room.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow morning? You know, so we can walk to school together?” she asked.

“Of course.” He replied.

“Oh, and let’s have lunch together again, in the school courtyard. Alya seems to like you, and she especially likes an audience.” They both laughed at that.

“Sounds great.” Nathanael said. Marinette gave him one last smile and showed herself out. Nathanael stood there for a few moments and stared at the open doorway. His stomach was filled with pastries and his heart was full of friendship. Then his eyes glanced at the canvas. He took a deep breath and then proceeded to put all of his painting supplies back in the corner.

‘I’m not ready yet.’ He admitted to himself. ‘But with time,’ he lightly stroked the blank canvas, ‘I hope.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I love all of your comments!!! The next few chapters is where some of the action will pick up, and Chat Noir will make his first official appearance!


	5. Crab on its Back

Nathanael breathed in the spring air. It seemed heavier and cooler than usual – it was probably going to rain. However, he distinctly remembered the weatherman saying that it would be sunny all week. When Nathanael thought about it, he had been getting a lot of forecasts wrong lately. 

“Are we, like, the only organisms that naturally tan?”

Nathanael looked at Marinette, who was walking beside him. Her eyebrows were scrunched up in thought. For the majority of the trip to school they had been walking in comfortable silence. It was their “thing” now. Mornings were better when you had someone to share them with. Mornings, secrets, fears, they were always harder to face alone.

Nathanael blew a lock of hair out of his face and thought. “Well, those creepy hairless cats can probably get sunburn.” He finally answered.

“That’s true.” Marinette paused. “Not a fan of cats?”

Nathanael blushed a little. “Actually, I used to love them. When I was eight I found a stray cat in an alley by my house. I hid it from my parents and took care of it.” He hesitated.

“What happened?” She asked, looking up at him as they walked together.

“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing.” Nathanael said, playing with the hem of his jacket.

“I won’t laugh.” She promised, crossing her heart. Nathanael took a deep breath.

“Two days after I found him, the mangy cat scratched up one of my paintings – one I had been working on for weeks – peed on my bed, bit my hand and then went out the window.” Nathanael said. “I never saw the stupid cat again.”

“That’s so sad.” Marinette said. Nathanael was both surprised and unsurprised that Marinette didn’t laugh. He was surprised because he thought that any normal person would laugh at his terrible luck. He had to admit, it was kind of a funny situation. However, this was Marinette. She wasn’t a normal person.

He couldn’t help but smile a little. “When I first found that cat I thought we would be best friends. The cat would doze on the bed while I painted; it would keep me company in an empty house.” Nathanael paused, and then looked at Marinette. Sea and sky met once more.

“You’re much better than a cat.” He said.

Marinette looked at him in shock for a moment. Then she smiled and began to laugh. “I would hope so. However, not all cats are bad.”

Nathanael knew that she was referring to Chat Noir. “Your cat’s a bit too fond of leather for my taste.” Nathanael said, wrinkling his nose a bit. Marinette giggled and gave him a light punch on the arm.

“Play nice. He’s a superhero too, you know. He could probably kick your butt.” Marinette said playfully.

Nathanael thought back to when he was fighting Chat Noir as the Evillustrator. He could still remember the flash of fear as Chat Noir’s staff flew towards his face. He remembered the unnatural glee he got as he watched the superhero dangle from the hole in the floor.

‘No, you’re okay. Everything is okay.’ Nathanael thought, dragging himself out of that dark hole, the corner of his mind that was still taken over by the Evillustrator.

“Are you okay?” Marinette’s soft voice gave Nathanael the push he needed to break free of the flashback. At this point they were near the steps of the school. They were early so nobody was around.

Nathanael took a deep breath and looked at Marinette. “I can remember my time as the Evillustrator so clearly, but it seems like most people don’t remember anything. It was like they were in a daze while I was getting a front row seat. Why is that? D-did I like it? Was my soul already dark? Am I -?

“Stop.” Marinette interrupted. Her gaze steady and fierce. He could tell that she was in Ladybug mode. “You are not dark. That wasn’t you, it was the akuma that possessed you. The only person to blame is Hawkmoth.” There was a beat of silence as they looked at each other, both desperate to be understood.

“Marinette, I’m afraid.” Nathanael said. He watched as her gaze began to soften. “I’ve been turned into an akuma twice now. Once by Hawkmoth and once by that little girl that Hawkmoth was controlling. I hate being helpless. I hate being a pawn. I hate having my feelings being manipulated. It’s like my own emotions have been weaponized and turned against me. It’s like my feelings are land mines that are waiting to be stepped on. I hate it.” He kicked a rock angrily.

“I hate it too.” Marinette said quietly. “I have to fight my friends, my family. I even had to fight the little kid that I babysit. You have every right to be angry, to be sad. Hawkmoth shouldn’t be allowed to just amplify people’s emotions like that. He has no right to hide behind people that I care about!” Marinette said, frustration evident in her voice. Nathanael had never seen Marinette so angry before.

She took a deep breath and looked up at Nathanael, giving him a small smile. “But don’t worry. As Ladybug I will take down Hawkmoth, but more importantly, as Marinette I’ll be your friend. I’ll make sure you never feel so bad that Hawkmoth tries to akumatize you again, and if a butterfly does come your way, I’ll have a fly swatter and my yo-yo ready.”

Nathanael stared at Marinette for a moment. She looked so confident, so sure. Marinette didn’t even need a costume – she was Ladybug right now. She was supposed to be the lucky one, but at that very moment Nathanael felt like the one with all the luck. Who could ever deserve a friend like Marinette?

“Thanks Marinette.” Nathanael said. “And know that I have your back too, so does that black cat. You don’t have to face the world alone.”

“I know.” She said quietly. Nathanael looped his arm through hers and the two friends made their way into the school.

 

 

“And then Alya went right up to the guy and said, ‘Your food looked subpar anyway.’” Marinette said, tears in her eyes. Nathanael let out an astonished laugh.

“No way! Then what happened?”

“Then she grabbed my arm and we walked right out of the restaurant! Walked, like we owned the place!” Marinette said, waving her arms dramatically and laughing. “I was so embarrassed!”

“Alya’s awesome.” Nathanael said.

“She really is. I’m lucky to have her.” Marinette said fondly, leaning back in her chair. The duo was alone in the classroom. Nathanael guessed they had five minutes before a majority of the class started to file in. At the moment Nathanael was sitting next to Marinette, in Alya’s seat, but after hearing that story about their sassy classmate, he didn’t think that he was worthy. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but then Marinette began to blush and look at the doorway.

‘It looks like Adrien’s here.’ Nathanael thought before he even turned to see what got Marinette so flustered. Lo and behold, it was the blond model indeed. Adrien walked in and gave Nathanael and Marinette a shy wave. Then he sat at his desk. Nathanael noticed that the foggy air made Adrien’s hair a little messier than usual. It almost looked familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

“G-good morning, A-drien.” Marinette squeaked out. Nathanael was proud of her for initiating a conversation with her crush.

“Morning Marinette. How are you?” Adrien asked, giving a perfect smile.

“I-I’m good, thanks.” She said, her face getting more and more red. Adrien didn’t seem to notice, although that didn’t surprise Nathanael.

“Good.” Adrien replied. Then he faced forward in his chair and began to organize his stuff. Nathanael could tell that Marinette wanted to keep the conversation going, but she didn’t know what to say. Eventually she gave up, slumping her shoulders as she let out a small sigh.

“Hey, um, Adrien.” Nathanael blurted out. Adrien turned back around. Nathanael could tell that his classmate was a little surprised, which was understandable. Nathanael couldn’t remember the last time he spoke directly to the blond boy. Marinette looked at Nathanael with a confused and slightly panicked gaze. He decided to keep talking before he lost his nerve. He’d never been a wingman before.

“So, um, Marinette and I were talking earlier about whether or not humans are the only living things that tan naturally. I suggested hairless cats, but we couldn’t think of anything else. Any thoughts?”

Adrien pondered for a moment, a finger resting on his chin and a slight pout to his lips. ‘Is he even aware that he’s posing?’ Nathanael thought a little bitterly. Nathanael glanced at Marinette and she seemed overjoyed. She looked at Nathanael and gave him a grateful smile.

“I feel like I read somewhere that penguins can get sunburn, but I don’t know if it’s true.” Adrien finally answered. “And apparently plants get greener when they get more sunlight, which is kind of like a tan.”

“That’s so cool. I never knew that.” Marinette said. Nathanael could see the stars in her eyes. He smiled at his lovesick friend. ‘Cinnamon bun romances will be the death of me,’ He thought.

Nathanael looked at Adrien. He seemed to be enjoying the conversation, but he also seemed a little nervous, like he didn’t know what to do. Nathanael wondered why a model would feel so unsure in a typical social situation. Then he remembered that Adrien was homeschooled for most of his life. He almost forgot about that.

Nathanael decided that he wanted to get to know Adrien better. He felt like there was more to Adrien than the seemingly perfect front that he put up, and if Marinette liked him then he must be a good guy.

“I’m glad that I could help you with your burning question.” Adrien said with a grin. Nathanael groaned internally, ‘I swear that stupid cat and his p – wait.’ Nathanael’s eyes shot up to look at Adrien. The blond boy seemed to have a slightly panicked look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair, which was messier than usual due to the rainy weather.

‘No. No way.’ Nathanael thought. The pun, the messy hair, that smirk. Nathanael tried to keep his composure as the puzzle pieces came together in his mind. ‘Adrien is Chat Noir. Chat Noir is Adrien. The perfect model and the mangy cat are the same?!’

When Nathanael first realized that Marinette was Ladybug, it was pretty easy to adjust. There was so much Ladybug in Marinette, that it just made sense to him. But this? Adrien and Chat Noir were nothing alike.

He tried to convince himself that he had made a mistake, that Adrien wasn’t really Chat Noir, but the more he thought about it the more it made sense. Nathanael glanced at Marinette to see if she came to the same revelation as him, but her expression hadn’t changed at all.

‘She doesn’t know.’ He thought, bells screaming in his head. ‘If she knew she wouldn’t be so nervous around him. He’s her partner after all.’ Then he looked at Adrien. The poor kid still looked a bit panicked. He must have realized that he slipped up with the pun. ‘And he doesn’t know that Marinette is Ladybug. I mean, it’s obvious that Chat Noir has a thing for Ladybug, so if he did know he’d be paying Marinette a lot more attention.’ Nathanael thought, possibilities and questions racing through his mind.

‘This isn’t a cinnamon bun romance!’ Nathanael gasped internally, alarms blasting in his head. ‘This-this is a love square!’ His brain almost shut down as it came to the greatest revelation so far. ‘And only I know about it.’ Nathanael almost began to visibly panic. He knew the identities of both of Paris’ superheroes, knowledge that he assumed no one else was privy to, including the heroes themselves. ‘Oh no, I can’t do this! What do I do?!’

He tried to stop his hands from shaking. If he was ever akumatized again, he would know both Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identity. What would stop him from telling Hawkmoth? Images of black butterflies invaded the corners of his vision, and he struggled to push them away.

‘Now if I let any negative emotions overwhelm me, not only will I be controlled again, but I would put Marinette and Adrien in danger,’ Nathanael realized. His emotions were no longer land mines – they were nuclear bombs.

He fought the urge to look at his hands, and instead looked at Adrien and Marinette. They were both kind and sweet people. They both fought and protected his city, his home. They sacrificed so much for Paris every day. The least he could do was carry this burden, right?

‘Okay. This is fine.’ He thought. He took a deep breath and began to relax. His freak-out only lasted a couple of seconds, so Adrien and Marinette didn’t seem to notice that anything was wrong. ‘Good. Now I just have to act casual.’

“Yeah, th-thanks. That thing about plants is pretty cool.” Nathanael said. He watched as Adrien began to relax, probably thinking that no one had noticed his out-of-character pun.

“Oh, um, do you have plans for lunch? Because Marinette and I were just going to hang out here and we might have more questions. It’d be nice to have your input.” Nathanael asked. He cringed a little, worried that that sounded too awkward. He didn’t want to make Adrien uncomfortable.

Adrien gave Nathanael and Marinette a wide smile. “That sounds like fun.” He said. Nathanael thought he could almost see the cracks in Adrien’s perfect model surface. He was surprised when he saw what looked like loneliness peeking through.

Nathanael used to think that he was alone in his loneliness, that everybody in the world had somebody and always felt welcomed, loved. After learning more about Marinette and her past with Chloe, and seeing this possible loneliness in Adrien, he realized that it was stupid to think that he was the only one who ever felt isolated. It was self-centered.

He decided to table those thoughts and he looked at Marinette. She was blushing but she seemed excited. Relief flooded through Nathanael. ‘Good job. You did it.’ Then the rest of their classmates began to enter the room.

“See you at lunch.” Nathanael said to Marinette. He couldn’t help but give her a quick wink. Her blush deepened and she gave him a light punch but she couldn’t hide her smile.

“Thanks Nath.” She said. Nathanael could feel his insides getting warmer. Maybe he didn’t have to be a pawn in Hawkmoth’s game. Maybe he could help by simply making people happy. He began to think on that as he walked to his seat.

‘I can’t believe I figured out Chat Noir’s identity because of a stupid pun.’ Nathanael thought, head in his hands. ‘A burning question? Seriously Adrien?’

After a few minutes Lila walked in and took her seat next to Nathanael. He decided to try his new “spreading happiness to counteract negative energy” plan on her.

“Good morning, Lila.” He said.

“Why are you so chipper?” Lila asked, eyes narrowed.

“You have very pretty eyes.” Nathanael said. Lila’s eyes widened in shock and she began to blush, but she quickly regained her composure and glared at Nathanael.

“You’re such a creep, tomato.” She said.

“I’m just being truthful.” Nathanael responded with a shrug. “Hey, Marinette, Adrien and I are having lunch together in the school courtyard. Do you want to join us?”

Lila paused for a moment. “Are you making fun of me?” She accused.

“Of course not.” Nathanael said, a little surprised.

Lila looked at him with suspicion, but when she decided that he was sincere, she began to look uncomfortable. “I don’t think that it’s good idea for me to have lunch with you guys.” She said.

“Why?”

She hesitated. Then she began to look angry. Nathanael was worried that she’d yell at him, or worse, shut him out. However, after a moment she let out a sigh, letting go of her anger. “I guess you were too busy sleeping to notice, but the people in this school don’t really like me.” Nathanael’s eyes widened. He waited for her to continue. “Ladybug made them all think that I was a liar, so now nobody wants to talk to me.” Nathanael fought the urge to glance at Marinette.

“And Chloe’s been on my back ever since she heard that I was flirting with Adrien.” She slumped her shoulders. “All in all, this school sucks and everybody hates me, all because of Ladybug.” Nathanael watched as Lila’s hands formed into fists.

“I don’t hate you.” He said. Lila looked up at him. He might have imagined it, but he could’ve sworn that he saw a flash of hope in her eyes.

“I think I liked you better when you were sleeping.” She said. Nathanael laughed at that.

“Then have lunch with us. I’ll prove to you how charming of an individual I can be.” Nathanael said. Then he stopped to review what had just come out of his mouth.

‘Am I flirting with her?’ He thought, a little panicked. He was disgusted by how much he had just sounded like Chat Noir. Like Adrien? Now he had a headache. He looked back at Lila. She opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but then there was a scream outside.

“WHERE IS LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR?!” It sounded like the voice was about a block away.

“Oh geez.” Nathanael said, looking at Adrien and Marinette. By the serious looks on their faces, he could tell that they had both already gotten into superhero mode.

‘At least I’m not asleep this time.’ Nathanael thought as his classmates panicked around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next few chapters will take place during one very long, very hectic day. Also, a lot of the conversation about "whether or not humans are the only things that tan" comes from an actual conversation with my friends. So thanks to them and their weird knowledge about penguins and plants. Hope you guys enjoyed! :D


	6. The Olive Trees

“I WILL MAKE YOU ALL TASTE FAILURE!” A man’s voice yelled. There was a crash and a yell.

“I need to use the bathroom!” Marinette, Adrien and Alya yelled at once. Nathanael could hear the urgency in their tones.

“Absolutely not.” Ms. Bustier said, hands on her hips. “There is an akuma attack in progress and I won’t have my students wandering off. Until Ladybug and Chat Noir take care of the situation, I want all of you to stay here where it’s safe.” She said with finality, daring anyone to argue with her.

Nathanael loved Ms. Bustier and thought that she was a great teacher – she just didn’t know that by trying to keep her students safe she was putting the whole city in danger. Nathanael watched as Marinette desperately looked to find a way out. Adrien was fidgeting more than usual. He could tell that they were both thinking furiously, and he could also tell that they had no idea what to do.

‘This is bad.’ Nathanael thought. He had to do something. Anything.

_‘What could you possibly do? If anything you’d only make things worse.’_

‘I don’t have time for you.’ Nathanael thought, mentally pushing Hawkmoth’s voice out of his head. He focused on Marinette’s laugh, her smile, her bright eyes. He had to help his friend.

‘Seems like it’s time to pull out the secret weapon.’ Nathanael thought, already forming a half-baked plan. It was a rushed job, but hopefully it’d work. He stood up, ignoring Lila’s curious look.

“Um, Ms. Bustier? I don’t feel so well.” He said, trying to sound convincing. He was definitely not an actor, but he’d watched enough soap operas as a kid to know how to really sell it. He threw in a few groans.

‘So far, so good.’ He thought.

“Please Nathanael, now is not the time for theatrics. You can go to the nurse after the akuma attack is over.” Ms. Bustier said firmly.

‘Okay, maybe it wasn’t as good as I thought.’ Nathanael mused, the gears in his head whirring. He realized that it would do him no good to think like an actor. He had to think in a way more natural to him – he had to think like an artist. He thought of blurred water colors and paint splatters on a canvas. He thought of paintings so abstract and intense that they were dizzying. Then Nathanael had his eureka moment.

“I mean it Ms. Bustier. I feel kind of light-headed.” He said.

‘Here we go. This is probably going to hurt.’ Nathanael thought, bracing himself. Then he pretended to faint, trying not to hit his head on the way down. His fall ended up being a little too convincing, his head coming into contact with the wood floor despite his efforts.

His thoughts began to jumble together. He heard Lila call out his name, concern in her voice. Through blurry eyes he could see Ms. Bustier hurrying towards him. He looked over at Marinette, worry obvious in her expression. He mouthed one word to her: “Go.” She stared at him for another moment, then nodded her head in understanding.

“I’ll go get a nurse!” She yelled, running out of the room.

“And I’ll get Nathanael some water!” Adrien called, running out of the room as well, thankfully in the opposite direction.

Alya just snuck out without a word, phone already clutched in her hand.

“Nathanael are you okay?” Ms. Bustier asked, kneeling in front of him. Nathanael shook his head a little. The hit to his head was a minor one, so he already felt fine. However, he needed to give Marinette and Adrien more time.

“The room is kind of spinning.” Nathanael said. He glanced at Lila. It seemed like she was debating on whether to be worried or angry.

“Here Lila, help me get him back to his chair.” Ms. Bustier said. Lila got up from her seat and went to Nathanael’s side. Together, teacher and student lifted Nathanael up to his feet. He hadn’t recovered from his slight head injury as fully as he thought, so he began to see spots as he leaned to one side. He ended up leaning right into Lila. When the spots began to clear he realized that he was almost nose to nose with his classmate. One of his arms was around her shoulder and one of her arms was around his waist, struggling as she tried to keep him upright.

When Nathanael looked at Marinette it was sea and sky. Always together, always coexisting, an endless blue horizon. Looking into Lila’s eyes was like looking into an endless expanse of palm trees, grass, and life. So much life. He began to imagine himself as a wave, always pushing, always trying to overcome the sand and reach the green – never achieving his goal but always trying.

However, Nathanael could tell there was something more to her eyes. Marinette’s eyes were as open as the blue sky. She trusted him and always strived to be straightforward and honest. Lila’s eyes were more guarded, like a forest of trees blocked her off from the rest of the world. It would take a tsunami to reach her, but would it be worth the damage it could cause?

“Look, you can see the fight from the window!” Kim yelled, nose pressed up against the glass. Soon the rest of the students rushed to the window to get a good view.

Palms trees and ocean drifted away as Nathanael and Lila broke apart. She turned her back to him, and Nathanael could feel that his cheeks were burning. He could sense the strip of sand that separated them. However, Nathanael dared to hope. She didn’t immediately pull away from him – they only separated after Kim’s exclamation. He dared to hope that that meant something.

At this point the whole class, including Ms. Bustier, was looking out of the window.

“Are you okay?”

Nathanael’s head turned towards Lila. She wasn’t looking at him.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Nathanael said.

Lila took and deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. Green and Turquoise. Earth and water. “Good. I don’t want you throwing up on me or anything.” With that, she walked towards the window to join the rest of the class.

Nathanael watched as she walked away. Like waves pushing on the sand. ‘I think I literally just fell for her.’ Nathanael thought, trying to understand what happened. ‘No, I must have hit my head too hard,’ he amended, blowing a lock of hair out of his face.

“Oh no. Ladybug!” Nathanael heard Rose exclaim. He felt a sudden weight in his chest as he rushed to the window.

Ladybug was on the ground, clutching her hands to her ears almost like she was trying to block out a loud sound. However, there weren’t any loud noises besides the usual sounds of fighting. He looked over to see Chat Noir battling the akuma with more tenacity than usual. However, Nathanael knew that the cat couldn’t keep it up forever.

‘Come on, get up Marinette.’ Nathanael thought, urging his friend to stand, to do something. After a few seconds he came to a realization. ‘Something’s very wrong. The akuma must have done something to her.’ He could feel the panic rising in his chest. He had get down there and help. He ran out of the classroom, mumbling something about going to the nurse.

Nathanael quickly ran out of the school and hurried to the street.

“THE WEATHER IS SO UNPREDICATBLE.” The akuma bellowed, trying to land a hit on Chat Noir.

The akuma was eight feel tall and wore a completely gray suit. There was a cluster of charcoal clouds that congregated above his head, and his eyes seemed to be made of fog. Nathanael thought that he looked like the personification of a coming rain storm.

“I MADE A FEW MISTAKES AND MY BOSS DECIDED TO FIRE ME. HE SAID THAT I HAD FAILED AT MY JOB.” Chat Noir – Adrien – barely dodged the akuma’s next attack. He was blasting some sort of energy from his hands. “NOW I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE THEIR OWN FAILURES. I WANT EVERYONE TO FEEL MY HUMILATION.” He tried to blast Chat Noir with another burst of energy.

“Wait, is that the weatherman?” Nathanael asked to no one in particular. It made sense now. The weatherman had been wrong in his predictions all week. He must have been fired today. Nathanael looked over at Marinette. ‘But what did he do to her?’ He wondered. He had to act fast. He could tell that Chat Noir was getting tired.

Nathanael inspected the akuma, trying to find the possessed object. After a few seconds he noticed that there seemed to be a black lanyard around his neck. It must have been the ID that he wore for work. ‘First help Adrien, then Marinette.’ He thought.

“Hey Chat!” Nathanael yelled from across the street. “I think the akuma is in his lanyard. The thing around his neck!” Chat didn’t turn around to see where the voice was coming from – he was too preoccupied with the weatherman – but Nathanael saw his head nod in understanding.

‘Now I have to help Marinette, but I can’t let my classmates see me. I would definitely get in trouble and it could lead people to figuring out Ladybug’s identity.’ Then he saw Alya from the other side of the street, filming. ‘I can’t let Alya get me on film either.’ He added, gears turning in his mind.

He snuck over to a nearby garbage can. After a quick scan, he saw that it was out of sight of the window and Alya’s phone. It was also close enough to Ladybug that she should be able to hear him.

“Ladybug. Ladybug!” Nathanael called out to his friend. She didn’t seem to notice him. Her hands were still over her ears, and she seemed to be talking to herself. Nathanael took a risk and crawled over to a park bench that was right next to the superhero.

“Marinette.” He said as loudly as he dared. He grabbed a nearby stick and poked her with it. She was startled enough to take her hands off of her ears, but she kept talking to herself.

“I’m a failure.” He heard her say. Nathanael was caught off guard. This wasn’t the confident Ladybug that he knew.

“What? Marinette. You’re anything but. You’re amazing.” Nathanael said. She seemed to register his words, but it wasn’t enough to snap her out of it.

“I can’t do this anymore. I don’t deserve to be Ladybug. I keep messing up.” Ladybug said. Nathanael noticed that there were tears in her eyes.

“Marinette, don’t give up. You never lose.” Nathanael said. He didn’t know what the right thing to say was. He didn’t even know if he was helping at all.

“The first time I became Ladybug I failed! I never wanted to be Ladybug! I was never meant to be a superhero! I’m a failure!” She yelled. There was a pause.

“I should just hand over my miraculous.” She said in defeat, reaching towards her ears.

Nathanael glanced back at the akuma. It was gaining the upper hand in the fight. He had to do something, and quickly. Chat Noir needed Ladybug, and he couldn’t let Marinette reveal her identity. He refused to let Hawkmoth win. He had to take a risk. He stepped out from behind the bench, in view of his classmates and Alya’s blog. He went up to Ladybug and put his hands on her shoulders.

“I’m scared of making mistakes too.” Nathanael said. Ladybug stiffened at his touch, but listened, lowering her arms. “Everyone’s afraid to fail. Every time I began a new painting I was worried that it would look horrible, that I would mix the wrong colors, that it wouldn’t reflect how I felt or what I was trying to say. Every day I worry that I will let my emotions get out of control, that I’ll let Hawkmoth in again. I even worry that I’ll say the wrong thing and you’ll stop being my friend.” Nathanael said the last part quietly.

Then he turned to the akuma. “Mistakes are normal! They happen every day! Failure, that’s a choice. You only fail if you give up! If you walk away!” Nathanael yelled. Then he turned back to Ladybug, and gently took one of her hands. She slowly turned her blue eyes on him. He could see that they were cloudier than usual, probably from the akuma’s magic. “Ladybug isn’t the type to walk away. Especially from those who need her. She can never fail, because she always keeps fighting for the people she loves, for this city.”

Nathanael watched as the clouds slowly left Ladybug’s eyes, revealing a clear blue sky. She looked around in confusion for a moment, and then her gaze met Nathanael’s. She stared at him, and then gave him a smile that was so distinctly Marinette. She gave his hand a squeeze and got back on her feet.

“Thank you.” She said. Nathanael gave an awkward bow and got out of the way. She walked up to the akuma, a confidence in her step and a ferocity in her eyes.

“Let’s end this.” She said. The akuma took a step back and growled. Chat Noir went to Ladybug’s side.

“Nice to have you back, my lady. The akuma was really raining on my parade.”

She gave him a smirk and they attacked as one.

Nathanael watched as Ladybug summoned her lucky charm. It was an umbrella. Usually, Ladybug would hesitate when she first saw her lucky charm. She would need a minute to look around and formulate a plan. This time was different. Nathanael had never seen the superhero so sure, so steady. She gave Chat Noir a look and he immediately knew what to do. He extended his staff towards the akuma, and Ladybug quickly ran across it like a tight rope. When she was only a few feet away from the weatherman, she leapt into the air. Nathanael watched in awe as time seemed to slow down. Ladybug was over the akuma’s head, mid-flip, when she expertly placed the curved end of the umbrella under the lanyard. As she soared behind him the lanyard lifted off of the akuma’s neck.

Nathanael looked at Ladybug – at Marinette, his friend – as she flew through the sky. She was joy and grace and beauty. He had never been so proud of her, so amazed by her. Nathanael also realized that he was a little jealous. He wanted to be like that, to be miraculous and free and strong. Ladybug landed on her feet and Nathanael was brought back to reality.

The spotted superhero took the lanyard off of the umbrella and quickly ripped it in half. Nathanael watched as a black butterfly floated towards the sky. Then Ladybug used her yo-yo to capture and purify the akuma.

“Bye bye, little butterfly.” He heard Ladybug say. Then she threw the umbrella into the air and the city and its people were healed. Nathanael had seen Ladybug do this a countless number of times, each time only slightly different from the last. However, this one was special. This time he was a little bit of a hero too.

“Nathanael, do you know Ladybug? Are you friends with her? What prompted you to help her?”

Nathanael turned and saw Alya, phone in hand and eyes filled with questions. ‘Oh geez.’ Nathanael thought. He took a deep breath. He had been preparing for this.

“No, I don’t know who Ladybug is. I mean, she’s come to our school a couple of times, so I’ve seen her before, but I don’t know her.” Nathanael said as casually as possible.

“Then why did you help her? What did you say to her?” Alya asked. Nathanael thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

“Well, she needed help. All I told her is how much she means to Paris. I told her the truth.” Nathanael paused, trying to find the words for what he wanted to say. “L-ladybug has saved us countless times, so it’s only right that we return the favor. I know we’re not superheroes but it’s not just Chat Noir and Ladybug against Hawkmoth. It’s Paris against Hawkmoth. We-we have to do our part too, right?” Nathanael said, a little nervous.

Alya had a strange look on her face. Nathanael thought she seemed almost, impressed? She turned the camera of her phone onto herself. “You heard it, ladybloggers. Another victory for Paris, thanks to Ladybug, Chat Noir, and my own classmate Nathanael.” Alya gave him a wink. “Maybe not all superheroes wear spots and leather. Maybe we can be heroes too.” With that, she turned off her phone and put it in her pocket.

“That was pretty amazing, Nathanael.” Alya said. Nathanael could feel his cheeks getting warm.

“It was nothing. Ladybug and Chat Noir did all of the work.” Nathanael said.

“Well, I’ve come to believe that the people behind the scenes are important too.” Alya replied.

Nathanael thought about that. ‘Maybe the battle with Hawkmoth isn’t only physical. Maybe it’s a mental, even emotional, battle as well.’ He felt like there were pieces of himself that were coming into place. It was like he was on the edge of a cliff, and below him was some conclusion, some understanding, some part of his identity that was just coming to the surface.

He looked back at Alya. “Yeah, where would Paris be without it’s star reporter?”

Alya broke out into a smile – not her usual smirk – but an open, happy smile.

“Seriously, Alya, you’re awesome. I can’t believe you do this every time there’s an akuma attack.” Nathanael said.

Alya paused for a moment, and then lifted up a fist. “We might not have powers, but like you said, we can all do our part, for Paris.”

“For Paris.” Nathanael lifted up his own arm and they bumped fists.

“Now let’s go see how much trouble we’re in for ditching class.” Alya said. Nathanael’s eyes widened in fear. The reporter laughed and put an arm around her suddenly pale friend.

“I know; an angry Ms. Bustier can be scarier than any akuma.”


	7. Irises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy and I love all of your comments!

When he and Alya entered the classroom after the akuma attack, their classmates began to surround Nathanael. When they didn’t say anything he became a little nervous, but then Kim walked up to him and ruffled his hair.

“That was so cool! I mean, I could’ve gotten there faster, but you did good.” He said with a smirk.

“You were so brave!” Rose exclaimed, standing on her tiptoes. Nathanael noticed how surprised she sounded.

Actually, the whole class seemed pretty shocked. At first he felt a little bitter about it, but to be fair he was surprised himself. He’d never done something like that before. He was a spectator; he never willingly threw himself into the action. Now he was wondering why he’d never done it before – it felt so good.

He looked over at Marinette and Adrien, who were standing amongst their classmates. It seemed like they were able to sneak back into class without raising any suspicion. Nathanael was relieved.

He also couldn’t help but notice how weird it was to look at them now when he was just talking to their superhero personas only a few minutes ago. They looked almost too normal – not at all like they had just defeated an akuma. That impressed Nathanael more than the actual fighting, their ability to separate their superhero lives from their civilian lives with ease. Then he remembered how he discovered their identities because of a drawing and a pun – well, with somewhat ease.

“Yeah, you were even cooler than Chat Noir!” Nino said. Nathanael tried to bite back his grin as he saw Adrien face. Nathanael was surprised that he didn’t discover Adrien’s secret identity sooner, because at the moment the blond boy looked startlingly like a grumpy cat as he tried not to pout.

“Yeah, I don’t know what came over me.” Nathanael said, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t used to so much attention, and he was starting to feel the weight of his classmates’ eyes on him.

“And you guys can watch the whole thing on the Ladyblog!” Alya declared, waving her phone triumphantly, thankfully drawing the attention away from Nathanael. “People are already talking about you in the comments.” She said to him with a wink. He blushed and looked over at Lila. She was apart from the group, looking almost pensive as she stared out the window.

Nathanael began to walk towards her before a firm voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Alya. Nathanael. I would like to talk to you outside for a minute.” Ms. Bustier said, her arms crossed. Nathanael looked at Alya, who seemed a bit nervous as she followed their teacher into the hallway. Nathanael hung his head and left the classroom.

“It is my job as a teacher to keep you safe.” Ms. Bustier began, her eyebrows furrowed. “I told you all not to leave the classroom and the both of you did it anyway.”

Nathanael couldn’t help but think that Adrien and Marinette left the room too, but since they – or at least their civilian selves – weren’t seen in the middle of the akuma attack, Ms. Bustier probably decided to let it slide. Either way, Nathanael was definitely not going to bring it up.

“But, Ms. Bustier –” Alya began.

“No, Alya, no buts. It is my responsibility as a teacher to watch over you kids, and it’s your responsibility as students to listen to me.” Ms. Bustier said. Then her gaze softened. “You’re not superheroes. You could have gotten hurt. Leave the akumas to Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

Nathanael couldn’t help but see the irony in the situation. If only she knew that Ladybug and Chat Noir were two of her students.

“You both were very brave, and Nathanael, you did a good thing.” She smiled, but her eyes were tight.

‘She was really worried about us.’ Nathanael thought. He began to feel guilty.

“However,” Ms. Bustier continued, “there will be consequences. You both will have to stay after school for one hour, and I will be calling your parents.”

Alya slumped her shoulders. Nathanael just wondered if his parents would actually pick up.

“You can go back to class.” Ms. Bustier said. Nathanael and Alya made their way to the door.

“One last thing.” They turned around and looked back at their teacher.

“Don’t ever,” she paused, eyes flashing, “do that again.” Her face was furrowed and stern, and her irises were as hard as diamonds as she loomed over her two students. Nathanael shuddered. An angry Ms. Bustier was the stuff of nightmares. He could tell that Alya looked a little unnerved as well.

As they were about to rejoin their classmates Alya took a deep breath and gave Nathanael a nudge. “I’m glad that that’s over.” Nathanael scoffed in agreement.

“Everybody take your seats.” Ms. Bustier said as she entered the room behind them. Nathanael and Alya both jumped, then looked at each other and quietly laughed.

“I’ll see you later, fellow rule-breaker.” Alya said, giving Nathanael a salute as she went to her seat. Nathanael held back a grin and then made eye contact with Marinette. She looked like she had a million things that she wanted to say. However, Ms. Bustier was beginning the lesson and he really didn’t want to get in trouble again, so he hurried back to his seat.

Lila was already taking notes, ignoring Nathanael as he sat down.

“You’ve been quiet.” Nathanael whispered. Lila kept ignoring him, but after a minute she sighed and looked his way.

“I don’t know why you bothered to help her.” She said.

“What. Ladybug?” Nathanael asked, confused.

“If she’s such an amazing superhero she shouldn’t need help from civilians. Because of her incompetence you could have gotten hurt.” She replied, a hint of venom in her tone.

 Nathanael looked at her for a moment. ‘She must really hate Ladybug.’ He thought. He was happy that she seemed to care about his well-being, but he could see so much buried anger in her eyes. She was hurt, and she blamed Ladybug. He had no idea what Marinette – sweet, kind Marinette – could have done.

“What did Ladybug do to you?” Nathanael asked gently. Lila met his eyes. He could see the sand between them falling away as she opened her mouth –

“Do I hear talking?” Ms. Bustier asked, her back turned as she was writing notes on the board. A flash of fear went through Nathanael’s body. He quickly shut his mouth and turned towards the front of the room. Thankfully nothing happened. After a minute he risked a glance at Lila. She had resumed taking notes, but she seemed tense. He was itching to ask her what was wrong, what her problem with Ladybug was, but every time he was about to open his mouth he pictured Ms. Bustier’s hard look and lost the ability to speak.

‘I will get to the bottom of this.’ Nathanael thought, determined.

 

 

“So what’s the verdict?” Marinette asked as she went to sit on one of the benches in the school courtyard. Nathanael leaned against the wall and sighed.

“It’s not bad. We have to stay after school for an hour, and they’re going to call our parents.” Nathanael said, blowing a lock of hair out of his face. He noticed that she looked up at him once he said, “parents.” However, Nathanael gave her a pleading look and she decided not to broach the subject.

“Did you get The Look?” Marinette asked instead. Nathanael shuddered, Ms. Bustier’s stern gaze imprinted in the back of his mind.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“How do you know about The Look?” Nathanael asked. At this point he was familiar with it, being caught sleeping in class or doodling enough times. It didn’t get less scary, however.

“Please, I’ve been late to class enough times to know The Look.” Marinette replied, shuddering herself. “Usually if I apologize enough Ms. Bustier spares me, but not every time.”

Nathanael cringed in sympathy, and then went to sit beside Marinette on the bench.

“So why isn’t Alya joining us for lunch again?” Nathanael asked.

“Her and Nino decided to go someplace to eat together.” Marinette replied, waggling her eyebrows. Nathanael laughed. Then Marinette began to look serious and took a breath.

“Hey, about the akuma attack today, I just wanted to –”

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late, I had to convince Nathalie to let me stay here for lunch.” Adrien said, looking a little embarrassed.

Nathanael couldn’t help but feel bad for Adrien. It seemed like his dad didn’t pay enough attention to him, like with Nathanael and his parents. However, that meant that Nathanael was free to do pretty much whatever he wanted. Adrien was still stuck in a cage.

“N-no problem.” Marinette said, smiling. Adrien smiled back and sat on the ground next to the bench. Marinette quickly got up from her seat and stammered. “No, y-you shouldn’t have to sit on the floor. Take my seat.”

“I don’t mind prin-Marinette.” He said. Nathanael noticed how he almost called her something else. He also noticed the slight panic in his eyes, kind of like when he let that pun slip earlier. ‘That must have been his Chat Noir leaking through again.’ Nathanael thought.  

Nathanael was still trying to process the fact that Adrien was also Chat Noir. Adrien was reserved, Chat was bold. Adrien was well-mannered, Chat was a jokester. Adrien liked Marinette as a friend, Chat was in love with Ladybug. ‘So who’s the real version of himself?’ Nathanael wondered, but then he began to think about the girl next to him.

She wasn’t only one identity, she was both Marinette and Ladybug. She was kind and confident, all-around caring – a girl who liked to design clothes but could still pack a mean punch.

‘People are a lot like art.’ Nathanael finally concluded. ‘The more you look at them, the more you notice.’ He decided not to draw any conclusions about Adrien until he got to know him better. Then he saw Lila walking along the other side of the basketball court, towards the stairway.

“Hey Lila!” Nathanael called. Lila froze, and then tried to quicken her step. Nathanael got up and jogged after her. “Wait.” He said once he was close enough. Lila stopped and turned towards him, looking uncomfortable.

“Do you want to have lunch with us?” He asked.

“You already asked me that earlier.” She said.

“But you never gave me an answer.”

Lila crossed her arms and opened her mouth, but Nathanael interrupted her.

“Please don’t say no.” Nathanael said, a little desperate. He didn’t know if he could handle being alone with “Flustered and Oblivious” – Paris’ beloved superheroes and most socially awkward teenagers. He was beginning to wonder how much complicated this could possibly get.

Lila sighed and uncrossed her arms. “Fine, but only if you get that pathetic look off your face.”

Nathanael cracked a wide smile. Lila smirked and rolled her eyes, saying, “You owe me, tomato.” Then they made their way to the bench.

“So, I was hoping that Lila could have lunch with us.” Nathanael declared. When he looked around, he noticed that everyone looked uncomfortable. Adrien was suddenly interested in his lunch and Marinette had a tight smile on her face. Lila looked like she was ready to bolt.

“Yeah, of course she can.” Marinette said, a little artificially. Nathanael offered Lila his seat on the bench and he sat next to Adrien. The four of them began to sit in awkward silence.

‘Why is there so much tension?’ Nathanael wondered. ‘I know they recently fought Lila as Volpina but they’ve fought me before too.’ He began to think through what he knew. ‘Okay, so Adrien and Lila were alone together in the library.’ Thinking about it more he remembered Lila mentioning that she had been flirting with Adrien, that being the reason that Chloe didn’t like her. He began to get a weird feeling in his gut. It reminded him of how he felt whenever Adrien talked to Marinette, back when Nathanael had a crush on her.  

‘Wait, Marinette must have noticed that Lila was flirting with Adrien and was jealous.’ He realized, beginning to put the pieces together.

‘So, Adrien is uncomfortable with Lila because she was trying to hit on him. However, knowing Adrien he probably didn’t realize she was flirting and just thought that she was acting weirdly.’ Nathanael thought, trying not to roll his eyes.

He always thought that the guy behind Chat Noir’s mask was some huge flirt, but apparently he was a socially-stunted sunshine child who wouldn’t know what flirting was even if he was hit in the head with a dictionary flipped open to the definition. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He knew how to flirt with Ladybug when he was Chat Noir, but then it was Ladybug who was the oblivious one. The kid was hopeless, but he couldn’t deny that he was perfect for Marinette – she was equally as hopeless.

‘Anyway,’ Nathanael thought, realizing that he got off track, ‘Marinette must be uncomfortable with Lila because she knows that Lila is – was? –  interested in Adrien. Lila must be uncomfortable with them both because she thinks that everybody in this school hates her.’ Gosh, this was complicated. Nathanael didn’t know if he could deal with all the secrets and subtext. He almost began to miss the time when he was alone and didn’t have to interact with anyone.

‘Wait, but then why does Lila hate Ladybug?’ Nathanael wondered.

“So how do you like Paris so far, Lila?” Adrien asked. Nathanael breathed a sigh a relief. At least there’s no awkward silence anymore. He looked over at Lila. She seemed suspicious and unsure, but she answered anyway.

“It’s not what I expected, to be honest. Superheroes and villains everywhere, it’s a lot to take in.” Lila said, picking at her lunch. Nathanael watched Marinette’s eyes soften.

“Yeah, there haven’t been a lot of tourists lately.” Marinette said, a weak attempt at a joke. Lila gave a small smile.

“Well, it’s not all bad. The city really is beautiful.” Lila said, staring at a cloud drifting through the sky.

“It’s gorgeous.” Nathanael agreed. “The view from my roof is spectacular. You should come see it sometime.” He watched as her eyes widened by a fraction.

‘Oh no, did I just invite her over to my house? I just met her a few days ago! What am I doing?!” Nathanael scooted a bit away from Adrien, convinced that Chat Noir’s flirty nature was contagious and was currently infecting his brain.

“That would be nice.” Lila said, blushing a little. Nathanael gaped at her, and then looked at Marinette. At first she seemed surprised too, but soon she began to smirk. Nathanael was about to stick his tongue out at her, but then there was a yell.

“I AM THE BABY PROOFER, AND THIS SCHOOL HAS BEEN TERRORIZED BY LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR FOR THE LAST TIME!”

“Are you kidding me?” Nathanael said, watching as a new akuma entered the courtyard, blocking the exit.

“I’ll go find help!” Adrien said, running up the stairs to the second floor.

“Adrien, wait!” Marinette called, but he was already gone. She looked at Nathanael and was about to say something, but then Nathanael glanced up and saw a plastic container of sorts about to fall on top of them. Acting on instinct, he pushed Marinette out of the way. The container fell on him, separating him and Marinette by a thick sheet of hard, plastic-like material. He was trapped. Marinette tried banging on the plastic, but it was no use.

“All of my students will be safe now,” The akuma said, “and their parents will stop calling me, blaming me for putting their kids in danger. It’s all Ladybug and Chat Noir’s fault. Once I have their miraculous, they will never terrorize this city and my school ever again!”

“Principal Damocles?” Nathanael asked. Indeed, he could see his owlish features. He almost didn’t recognize him under the hard hat, goggles, and baby blue jumpsuit.

The akuma began covering people in bubble wrap and trapping them in plastic containers. One poor kid was put in a baby chair. Nathanael noticed how all of the akuma’s power seemed to come from a giant baby rattle.

“Now this is just ridiculous.” Lila said. Nathanael turned around and saw that she was trapped in the container with him. “Hawkmoth is running out of ideas at this point.” She continued.

“Nathanael. Are you okay?” Marinette asked, her voice muffled by the plastic.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Go get somewhere safe!” He yelled, giving her a pointed look. She seemed hesitant to leave him, but she clenched her fists and ran to an empty room.

“Well this might take a while.” Lila said, sitting down.

Nathanael heard his stomach grumble and looked over to at the bench, where his lunch lay, abandoned. ‘Hawkmoth really is cruel,’ Nathanael thought. With a sigh he sat down next to Lila, waiting for Ladybug and Chat Noir to save the day. Again.


	8. Two White Butterflies

“Face me Ladybug and Chat Noir!” The akuma yelled, trapping more students with a wave of his rattle. Nathanael watched as Kim burst out of one of the classrooms and tried to make a break for the main exit, but the Baby Proofer was too quick and soon Kim was restrained by a huge stack of rainbow-colored rings. Max left his hiding place to try and free Kim, but in a matter of seconds he was surrounded by a Lego cage.

“It looks like the so-called heroes of Paris are too scared.”

“Someone should put a binky in this guy!” Chat Noir declared, jumping from the second floor and landing only a few feet away from Nathanael and Lila.

“And you should get some better jokes.” Lila muttered. Nathanael watched Chat Noir’s ears droop.

“It seems like someone missed their naptime.” Chat Noir said with a pout. At first Nathanael thought that he was talking to the akuma, but when the superhero shot a glance Lila’s way, Nathanael realized who the jab was really for. He tried to hold back his snicker.

“What are you laughing at, tomato?” Lila asked, crossing her arms as she glared at Chat Noir’s back. Nathanael raised his hands in surrender.

The pair watched as Chat Noir fought the akuma. They wielded their respected weapons – rattle and staff – much like they were fencing.

“Oh. That’s why Chat Noir’s so good with his staff, because he takes fencing lessons.” Nathanael mumbled to himself.

“Did you say something?” Lila asked.

“No, no.” Nathanael said distractedly as he watched the fight. He was starting to see the Adrien in Chat Noir, but it wasn’t easy.

The artist in him tried to notice every detail in the battle that was unfolding in front of him. It was a dance of sorts, the way they dodged each other, like wide, sweeping brush strokes over a large canvas, black and green and blue swirling together.

Then he saw it, the akuma had to be in the flip phone that was peeking out of one of the jumpsuit’s pockets. It had that familiar purple-ish black hue, and he remembered the akuma mentioning how he had been getting calls from angry parents all day. It made sense that that was the source of his anger.

“Chat Noir! The akuma is in his phone!” Nathanael yelled. However, at this point Chat was too far away to hear him, and it didn’t help that the plastic muffled sound. He stood up and began to bang on the container to get the superhero’s attention.

“Lila, I need your help.” Nathanael said, turning back to look at her. She was sitting on the ground, arms still crossed.

“They shouldn’t need our help. They’ll be fine on their own.” Lila said, looking away.

“Lila, they do need our help. I –”

“Just stop talking tomato.” Lila interrupted, but Nathanael wouldn’t be silenced that easily.

“What’s up with you? We have to –”

“I’m not a superhero, okay!” Lila yelled. Nathanael stared at her in shock. This wasn’t the Lila that he knew. “You and I, we’re normal. There’s nothing special about us. Why should we be expected to do anything?” She hugged her knees to her chest. “It’s better if we just stay out of their way.”

Nathanael stared at her in disbelief. ‘It’s like whenever she sees or hears about Ladybug and Chat Noir she acts like a caged animal.’ He thought, seeing the irony in the situation as he looked around at the plastic container they were trapped in. Nathanael couldn’t help but be frustrated. He didn’t like this Lila – defensive, angry, bitter. And her words struck a little too close to home.  

“I have stayed out of people’s way my entire life.” Nathanael said, reigning in his anger. It had been a long day. “All I’ve ever done is watch my classmates, my parents, everyone I know go through their lives without me. I used to blame them for my loneliness, but I’ve come to realize that it’s my fault.” The words “my fault” echoed in the air, in his mind, in his bones. It clung to his skin and forced him to keep going.

Nathanael took a deep breath. “I thought that no one needed me, and that I didn’t need anyone else. But the fact is, people need people, Lila. It’s as simple as that. Trying to go through life without supporting other people, without getting support in return, that’s like being a ghost.”

He turned to look at Chat Noir, who just barely dodged one of the akuma’s blows. “Maybe there’s nothing special about me. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll just sit here and watch when someone needs me. Never again.”

They stayed like that in silence for a moment, Nathanael refusing to look at Lila. He had never been so angry at her before. Then he heard her get up. She stood beside Nathanael and he could feel her gaze on him. He gave in and decided to look back. Her eyes said a million things, a forest of thoughts, but what Nathanael could see most clearly was her uncertainty. She looked at the fight for a moment, and then slowly raised her arm towards the container. After a deep breath, she began to bang her arms against their plastic cage.

“Chat Noir! Over here!” She yelled.

Nathanael watched in surprise for a moment, and then gave a nod of approval. He too began to pound on the plastic. With their combined efforts they were able to get the superhero’s attention. Chat Noir vaulted over the akuma and landed next to them.

“I’m kind of in the middle of a fight.” He said, rubbing the back of his head as he kept his eyes trained on the Baby Proofer.

“The akuma’s in his phone, which is in the pocket of his jumpsuit.” Nathanael said quickly.

“And aim for his legs, the way his stance is, it’ll be easy to knock him off his feet.” Lila added, analyzing the akuma. Nathanael noticed that she was beginning to look more like the Lila he knew.

Chat Noir looked impressed. “Wow, you two are a-meow-zing. Thanks for the help!” He said, reentering the fight.

Both Lila and Nathanael groaned at the same time. Then they watched as Chat swung his staff under the Baby Proofer’s feet. Like Lila predicted, the akuma lost his balance and fell.

“How’d you know that would work?” Nathanael asked, turning towards Lila.

“I took self-defense classes in Italy.” Lila said casually, still watching the fight. Nathanael made a mental note not to get on Lila’s bad side. Unfortunately, the Baby Proofer managed to get up before Chat Noir was able to swipe the phone. Then a red blur caught Nathanael’s eye.

“I heard that you were looking for me.” Ladybug said, swinging in on her yo-yo and kicking the akuma in the chest.

‘Finally, what took her so long?’ Nathanael thought, relieved. He was beginning to worry about where she was.

“A little late to the play-date, Bugaboo.” Chat Noir said, echoing Nathanael’s thoughts.

“Sorry kitty, there was a fire in one of the science labs that I needed to help put out.” Ladybug replied, eyes trained on the akuma.

“It looks like the only flame you can’t put out is the one in my heart.” Chat Noir said with a wink. Ladybug rolled her eyes.

“Focus, alley cat.” She said, dodging the akuma’s rattle. “Do you know where the akuma is?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. It’s in the phone in his front pocket.” Chat replied, using his staff to vault past the akuma and land at Ladybug’s side.

“Good work.”

“Actually, it wasn’t me. It was your red-haired friend from earlier.” Chat Noir said. Ladybug spared a glance to look over at Nathanael. She gave him a small smile.

“Is he a special someone of yours, my lady?” Chat asked. His tone was teasing, but Nathanael could tell that there was a hint of jealousy behind his words.

“Not now, Chat.” Ladybug said, trying to get her yo-yo around the rattle.

“Why don’t they just grab the phone already?” Lila said, frustration obvious in her tone. “She really is a lousy superhero. All she does is fling her toy around and flirt with that cat.” She continued in disgust.

“Seriously, what is your problem with her?” Nathanael asked, tearing his eyes away from the fight to look at Lila.

“I just don’t understand why people think she’s so great.” Lila replied defensively.

“No, it’s more than that. It’s personal. She must have said something to you.”

Lila refused to look at Nathanael. He thought that she would just continue to ignore him, but then she sighed and rolled her eyes.

“After my first day of school, I invited Adrien to the park.” She hesitated. “I told him that I was a superhero, and that I was in possession of the fox miraculous. I-I also told him that I knew Ladybug.” Nathanael pondered on her words. He had no clue what a “fox miraculous” was. ‘Is there a fox-themed superhero out there? Someone like Ladybug and Chat Noir?’ Nathanael couldn’t help but wonder. But instead of asking what she meant he decided to focus on the current issue.

“But you aren’t a superhero, and you don’t know Ladybug.” Nathanael pointed out.

“Brilliant observation.” Lila said, venom in her words. Then she took a deep breath and continued.

“My parents are famous in Italy, and reporters used to love to make up stories about me. It was a total invasion of my privacy, so I decided to create outrageous tales about myself so people wouldn’t know what the truth was. It was a way to get them off my back. However, I got so used to lying that it became a habit to tell people that I do these amazing things. I didn’t want to be boring again. I finally felt like I was worth something – that I was special.” Lila looked at Ladybug, who was currently calling forth her Lucky Charm.

Lila sighed. “I will admit that I liked Adrien. He knew what it was like to grow up with a famous parent, so I thought that we would have a lot in common. But when I first talked to him I was afraid that he wouldn’t like the boring Lila – and he started talking about how great Ladybug was – so I told him that I was a superhero.” Lila slumped her shoulders.

“I know that I shouldn’t have lied, and I’m trying not to do it anymore, but I was so nervous when I first moved to Paris. I thought that I could really reinvent myself and get a fresh start, but it was just so much easier to lie.” Lila paused. “Still, Ladybug had no right to do what she did.”

Nathanael put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him with her green eyes. Nathanael couldn’t help but notice how lost she looked, lost and angry.

“While Adrien and I were in the park, Ladybug swooped in. She yelled at me, humiliated me, and said that I wasn’t a superhero, but a super liar. And she did this right in front of Adrien.” Nathanael watched as the tears welled up in Lila’s eyes. He couldn’t imagine Marinette saying those things, but then he thought about her crush on Adrien, and how much she valued the truth.

He always had this perfect image of Marinette, but the more he got to know her the more he realized how human she was. She wasn’t just a superhero, she was a teenage girl, and sometimes teenage girls said the wrong thing. It was a part of growing up.

“That’s why I hate Ladybug. She accused me of lying while she hides behind her own mask. She’s cruel, and she doesn’t deserve to be a superhero.”

Nathanael processed her words, trying to decide what the right thing to say was. In a situation like this, there were no heroes or villains. There wasn’t one person who was right and another who was wrong. There were only victims. Lila shouldn’t have lied, and Marinette shouldn’t have said those things. It was all a misunderstanding, but how could he explain that to the girl who was trying not to cry in front of him?

Nathanael opened his mouth to speak, somewhat confident in what he was about to say. “Lila –”

“Miraculous Ladybug!” Ladybug yelled. Nathanael hadn’t noticed that the superheroes already defeated the akuma. Soon the Baby Proofer’s cages disappeared. Nathanael and Lila watched as the container surrounding them was wiped away by Ladybug’s magic.

“Lila, Ladybug isn’t a bad person. People can do bad things but she –”

“I have to go, Nathanael – I – forgot something in my locker.” Lila interrupted, quickly walking away.

“Lila –” Nathanael called after her, but she didn’t look back.

“That was some purr-ty great advice, Na – random citizen. You and that other girl really saved my tail.” Chat Noir said, walking up to Nathanael. Nathanael fought the urge to roll his eyes. ‘That cat doesn’t know when to quit with the puns, does he?’ He thought.

“I’m just happy that I could help.” Nathanael replied. He looked over at Ladybug, who was talking to Principal Damocles. The poor man looked around like he was in a daze.

‘I hope for his sake he never remembers what he did.’ Nathanael thought, pushing away his own memories. He was finding it easier to stop the flashbacks, but that didn’t mean that they still didn’t try and break through from time to time. It was like a slight pressure on his brain, a constant reminder of what he did. However, Nathanael was beginning to realize that maybe he had such vivid memories for a reason. Maybe he was meant to learn from them. Maybe he wasn’t as dark as he thought.

“It seems like you and Ladybug are close.” Chat Noir said, interrupting Nathanael’s thoughts. The superhero must have caught him looking Ladybug’s way.

“I barely even know her.” Nathanael replied.

“Then why’d you help Ladybug earlier today? And why’d you help me before? You seem pretty invested in us all of a sudden.”

Nathanael could almost picture Adrien’s probing gaze under that mask. ‘I’m pretty invested because I know that you two are my classmates, and that Marinette is my closest friend, you alley cat.’ Nathanael thought, wishing that he could just blurt it out. But for Adrien and Marinette’s safety, for the safety of Paris, he had to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh, I get it now.” Chat Noir said, eyes flashing and cat-like. Nathanael tried to keep his composure.

‘Did he really figure it out?’ Nathanael thought, a little panicked. ‘Did my face give that much away?’

“You’ve fallen for me.” Chat Noir declared, ruffling Nathanael’s hair.

“W-what?” Nathanael squawked. He could feel his face heating up in both embarrassment and anger. “As if, you mangy cat!”

Chat Noir began to laugh. It sounded bubbly and light. Like pure sunshine. “I was just kitten around.” He said. Nathanael gave him a tired look.

‘How does Marinette deal with this?’ Nathanael wondered, watching as Chat gave him a cheesy grin.

“What’s going on?” Ladybug said, joining the two in their conversation. She noticed Nathanael’s annoyance and Chat Noir’s wide smile. “What did you say to him?” She interrogated Chat, hands on her hips.

“I simply discovered that I have a secret admirer.” Chat said, waggling his eyebrows at Nathanael. Nathanael shot him a glare. He made a mental note to get his revenge when he saw Adrien next. Ladybug looked between the two and giggled. “He’s way out of your league, alley cat.” She joked.

Chat Noir pouted and crossed his arms. “I am a catch, my lady.”

“Sure you are.” She replied, rolling her eyes and giving him a slight shove. Chat just grinned back at her.

‘If only she knew that she was joking around with Adrien.’ Nathanael thought, imagining Ladybug’s face becoming as red as her costume. Then they all heard a beep.

“That’ll be me. Until next time, Bugaboo.” Chat Noir said, giving Ladybug a bow. “Thanks again for your help.” He said to Nathanael, giving him a wink.

“Yeah, yeah.” Nathanael said, rolling his eyes as he held back a smile. He had never seen Adrien look so happy and free before. He was like an energetic kitten. Then he made eye contact with Ladybug.

“You really helped me out today, Nathanael.” She said, giving him her classic, Marinette smile.

“It was the least I could do. You’ve helped me so much already.” Nathanael replied.

“What do you mean?”

Nathanael thought about how to put his next words. “You gave me exactly what I needed, Mari-Ladybug.” He said, looking around to make sure that no one heard his slip up. Thankfully no one was within earshot. “You gave me a friend.”

Ladybug’s gaze softened. Then her earrings beeped. “I’m sorry, but I have to find a place to de-transform.” She said, turning away.

“Wait, before I forget.” Nathanael said. Ladybug turned back to look at him, curiosity in her eyes.

“Lila told me what happened with you and her.”

Ladybug looked down in shame. “Nathanael I –”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. You made a mistake. Even superheroes are allowed to slip up from time to time.” He said. Ladybug gave him a grateful smile.

“All I’m asking is, well, that maybe you could help her out? As Marinette?” He said the last part in a whisper. “All she needs is a few friends. Maybe you could help her like you’ve helped me?” Nathanael asked. He watched Ladybug pause for a moment.

“Of course. It’s the least I could do.” Nathanael gave her a grateful smile. “But, Nathanael, I want to make sure that you know that our friendship isn’t one-sided. You have helped me in so many ways, and I’m so lucky to be your friend. You have such a kind heart.” Then her earrings beeped again. “I’m sorry, but I really have to go. I’ll see you in class, okay?” She said with a smile. Then she threw her yo-yo and swung out of sight.

Nathanael stood there in silence for a moment. That flame inside him, it was no longer small and fragile. It was bright and hot; he could feel it coursing through his veins. It gave him strength.

‘Me having a crush on Chat Noir? That pun-loving cat doesn’t need an admirer, he’s infatuated enough with himself.’ Nathanael thought, scoffing and shaking his head. He was beginning to realize that the perfect model was actually a major dork. Then he couldn’t help but think about another pair of green eyes, ones that were filled with tears the last time he saw them. Nathanael sighed and walked back to class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a turning point in the story, so the chapter titles will not strictly be Van Gogh paintings anymore. I will pull from all kinds of different art and artists. Also, you guys will get an umbrella scene in the next chapter ;) I hope you're all having a wonderful day!!


	9. The Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name of this chapter is the name of a painting by Hans Hoffman. It was actually one of the paintings I had to write about in a research paper that I did last year, so it brings back a little nostalgia. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“I can’t believe that I missed it!” Alya said for the twentieth time. Nathanael glanced over at her. They were the only ones in the classroom, since school was already finished and they were currently serving their one-hour detention.

Alya looked miserable – she was slumped in her chair and her glasses her slightly skewed. However, it wasn’t the detention that brought on this despair – it was the fact that she wasn’t there to record the second akuma attack.

“I can’t believe that Nino dragged me out to go on a lunch date!” She said, groaning dramatically while scrolling through her phone, trying to find clips of the fight.

“Marinette told me that it was your idea.” Nathanael said, leaning back in his chair and looking at the ceiling.

“Details. What’s the point of a boyfriend if you can’t blame him for your problems?” Alya said dismissively, casually waving her hand. Nathanael paused in thought for a moment.

“How did you and Nino decide to go out?” Nathanael asked quietly. Alya looked up from her phone and glanced at Nathanael.

“What do you mean?”

Nathanael sat up in his seat and looked at Alya. “What I’m trying to say is, well, for example, Adrien and Marinette are perfect for each other.”

“Yeah, and the only people who don’t know that are them.” Alya said tiredly.

“Exactly. Even when two people could be great for each other, that doesn’t mean that it’ll work.”

“So what’s your question?” Alya said, her interest piqued.

“Well, um, how do you get it to work?” Nathanael asked sheepishly.

“Oh, you want advice on how to ask Lila out.” Alya stated, now understanding the situation.

“Wh-what, no, I don’t, I’m not – ” Nathanael stuttered, feeling his cheeks heat up. Then he let out a sigh. “How’d you know?”

“Please, I’m a reporter, I notice these things. Besides, Marinette told me how you invited Lila onto your roof during lunch today.” Alya replied, waggling her eyebrows.

“I didn’t realize what I was saying when I said it!” Nathanael said defensively, waving his arms in the air. Then he looked back at Alya, who was giving him a funny look.

“What?” He questioned.

“You just remind me a lot of Marinette right now.” Alya admitted with a chuckle. Nathanael pondered on that, and then came to a realization.

‘Oh no. Now I’m flustered and Lila is oblivious.’ Nathanael thought, smacking his forehead. Then he began to wonder how oblivious Lila actually was. He remembered the times she would blush at his remarks, and she _did_ accept his invitation to come to his roof. Maybe they were both flustered.

“Okay, I like Lila.” Nathanael said. It was weird to admit it out loud. It gave him a tingly feeling that he didn’t necessarily object to – static-y and warm. “But I don’t exactly know what the next step is. The last time I had a crush on a girl was Marinette, and I ended up being akumatized so…”

Nathanael realized that he was finding it easier to talk about his time as the Evillustrator. It seemed to be more firmly fixed in the past, and his memories weren’t assaulting him like they used to. He felt a sudden urge to paint.

“Well, Nino and I didn’t exactly start our relationship on normal circumstances.” Alya said, interrupting his thoughts.

“What happened?”

“It was pretty funny actually. Nino originally had a crush on Marinette.”

“Wait, seriously?” Nathanael blurted out. He had no idea that Nino liked Marinette, and he thought that he knew everything that was going on with his classmates. Actually, little by little, he was beginning to realize how wrong he was.

“Yeah, so Adrien decided to set them up on a date.” Alya continued. Nathanael couldn’t help but see the irony in the situation. Adrien tried to set up Ladybug, the love of his life, with his best friend. If only he knew.

“However, Marinette thought that she would be spending time with Adrien. So, when Nino arrived they decided to wait for him.”

“I’m guessing he never came.” Nathanael said.

“Nope, he was actually talking to Nino through an ear piece while I was communicating with Marinette.”

“This seems extremely complicated.” Nathanael said, now a little less enthusiastic about attempting to have a love life. It seemed hard.

“Oh it gets worse.” Alya said with a laugh. “Eventually Nino admitted to Marinette that he had a crush on someone, but when she asked him who it was, he got nervous and said that it was me. Then one of the workers at the zoo got turned into an akuma, and Ladybug decided to put me and Nino in one of the cages to keep us safe.”

“That’s awkward.” Nathanael commented, blowing a lock of hair out of his face. Then he realized that it was Marinette who put them in the cage. Now the situation was even more hilarious. He held back his grin as he imagined Ladybug the matchmaker, locking people in animal cages for the sake of love. Alya would’ve been furious if she knew it was Marinette.

“At first it was. But then Nino explained the whole situation and we started talking. He’s actually really funny.” Alya said, blushing a little. “And he wanted to know more about the blog. He even let me listen to a playlist that he’d been working on.” Alya paused, smiling. She looked so happy. Nathanael couldn’t help but smile himself. He wouldn’t quite say that Alya and Nino had a cinnamon bun romance – they were both too sassy – but it was still pretty adorable.

“As we were listening to one of his songs he asked me out,” Alya said, “And now we’re here.”

“Wow. Now that’s a story.” Nathanael said. Alya laughed.

“As Chat Noir might say, it was ‘wild.’” She joked. Nathanael just put his head in his hands and groaned.

“Puns will be the death of me.” He declared. Then they sat in silence for a minute.

“What do you like about Nino?” Nathanael asked, curious. Alya thought for a moment.

“He’s kind, and loyal. He always seems to know what people need, and is never afraid to stand up for his friends. He is the most selfless person I know.” Alya paused, moving a lock of hair behind her ear. “And he understands my need to run the Ladyblog. He worries about me when I’m filming an akuma attack, but he doesn’t treat me like a damsel. He respects me and my decisions. That’s what I appreciate the most.”

Nathanael looked at Alya. She was playing with her bracelet, probably a gift from Nino. He reflected on the love that was in each of Alya’s words. She understood Nino and respected and trusted him. Nathanael wanted something like that. Something more than a simple cinnamon bun romance. He wanted something stronger.

“What do you like about Lila?” Alya said with a smirk. Nathanael was a bit caught off guard. He didn’t expect his question to be shot back at him. He tried to put his complicated network of feelings into words.

“Lila is, unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.” Nathanael began slowly, a little embarrassed. “She doesn’t make anything easy, and she’s insecure.” He paused. “But she’s so strong. She feels and thinks so deeply, and she’s so aware of what’s around her.” He glanced out the window and looked at a lone tree. Green and isolated. “She’s like a tree. Her branches show one thing, but when you dig down deep there is a network of roots that show much more. She’s fascinating. I just want to know everything about her.” After a beat of silence he looked back at Alya. She had a small smile on her face.

“What?” Nathanael asked, squirming under her gaze.

“You want to know what to do next? Just be yourself, Nathanael, that’s more than enough.” Alya said warmly.

“B-but what should I say? What should I do?” Nathanael questioned, not satisfied with Alya’s advice.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t really tell you that.” Alya paused. “But you know that feeling you just had as you talked about Lila?”

Nathanael thought about that static-y feeling, the one that tickled his skin and warmed his insides. “Yeah?”

“Just focus on that feeling,” Alya said, “And never let it go.”

Nathanael pouted. “That’s not very helpful. You’re pretty much saying that my heart is like a metal detector.”

“Exactly.”

“I would’ve expected this from Rose, not you.” Nathanael grumbled. Alya laughed.

“Hey, I’m pretty wise.” Alya said, crossing her arms.

“I’ve come to associate ‘wisdom’ with ‘ambiguity.’” Nathanael said, crossing his arms as well.

“Fine, Mr. Know It All, don’t take my advice.” Alya replied, sticking out her tongue. Nathanael broke into a smile and laughed.

“Thanks for the tip, Alya, I really do appreciate it.”

“I just hope that you fare better than Marinette.” Alya said with a sigh. Nathanael thought about the dreaded love square.

‘Oh gosh I hope so.’ Nathanael thought. Then Ms. Bustier entered the room and Nathanael and Alya straightened up in their desks.

“Okay, you two can go now. I trust that you both sat in silence after I left for the teacher’s meeting?”

Nathanael and Alya simply nodded their heads, not eager to get The Look twice in one day.

“Good. Don’t forget to do your homework.” She said. Then Nathanael and Alya packed up their stuff and left the classroom, not breaking their silence until they were out the front door.

“See you tomorrow Nathanael, and think about what I told you!” Alya said, walking away.

“I will!” Nathanael called after her, heading in the other direction and glancing at that lone tree that he had seen earlier.

“I can’t believe I missed it!” Nathanael heard Alya yell in the distance. He chuckled to himself, wondering how he got such amazing friends.

 

 

Nathanael began to feel raindrops on his head.

‘Looks like the rain is finally starting.’ Nathanael thought. He pulled his umbrella out of his backpack, but didn’t open it up just yet.

He always loved this kind of weather. Cold, windy, drizzling. It felt refreshing and clean, like the world was having a good cry.

The puddles moved like liquid glass, and the Parisian lights became blurry and soft. The wind whistled its secrets. He tried to paint a rainy Paris multiple times, but he could never do it justice. It was something you felt more than you saw. But walking in the rain now, he felt like trying to paint it again.

Nathanael took a deep breath and smiled. Then the rain began to pick up in intensity. He quickly opened up his umbrella, and began to walk faster. As much as he loved the rain, he didn’t want to get sick.

He had just passed the Dupain-Cheng bakery when he saw a small, red figure. From what Nathanael could tell it was an old man. Nathanael walked towards him, wondering what he was doing alone in the rain. He was only a few feet away when he saw a small flower pot fall from a second floor window. Nathanael’s eyes widened when he realized that the pot was heading right for the old man’s head.

“Watch out!” Nathanael yelled, running towards the man. He managed to push him out of the way, but then he felt a sharp pain in his right shoulder.

Nathanael hissed in pain and rubbed the tender area. ‘That’s going to leave a nasty bruise.’ Nathanael thought.

“I’m so sorry, young man. I did not foresee the pot hitting you.” The mysterious old man said. He sounded almost guilty. Nathanael looked up at the figure in front of him. The old man was short and wore a red Hawaiian shirt. He had a silver mustache and goatee. Nathanael couldn’t help but think that there was a timelessness about him, an otherworldliness. His eyes spoke of wisdom.

“You don’t have to apologize; it’s not like it’s your fault.” Nathanael said kindly. Then he could’ve sworn he saw a green blur in the corner of his eye, near the window where the flower pot was. ‘Probably a bug.’ Nathanael thought.

The old man gave a sheepish smile. Then Nathanael noticed how soaked the guy was. He quickly took off his jacket and offered it to the man. Then he tried handing over his umbrella.

“No, I couldn’t. Besides, I don’t mind a little water.” The man said.

“Please, I insist. I only live a block away.” Nathanael pressed. There was something peculiar about the man’s gaze. It reminded him of how Ms. Bustier looked whenever his class did well on a test.

“You are very kind.” The man said.

“My name’s Nathanael.” The man didn’t seem surprised by this information, almost like he already knew it.

“I’m Master Fu.” He replied, finally accepting Nathanael’s jacket. They made eye contact as the old man – Master Fu – reached for Nathanael’s umbrella. There wasn’t any lightening, but it felt like there was electricity in the air. Nathanael had a funny feeling. It felt kind of like the world just shifted, or that it was a shade different than it was before. No, it was more like time was slowing down. Then the umbrella was in Master Fu’s hand and Nathanael shook the thoughts away.

“We should take you someplace warm.” Nathanael said.

“I think that there is a bakery nearby.” Master Fu said with a smile. Nathanael realized that he was referring to the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

‘Well, Marinette did say that I was welcome to visit anytime.’ Nathanael thought, wondering how her family would react when he arrived with a soaked, slightly peculiar old man in tow.

The red-haired artist and the old man (and a green blur) made their way to the bakery.

 

 

“Hey Nath – what happened to you?” Marinette said as Nathanael and Master Fu entered the bakery. She was working the cash register, but due to the rain they currently had no customers. Nathanael walked further into the warm bakery. He was damp from the rain, and his hair was plastered to his face, making it hard to see.

“Don’t worry about me, Marinette, I’m fine. But this man is soaked from the rain. I wanted to take him someplace warm to dry off before he got sick. I hope that’s okay.”

“Hello, Marinette.” Master Fu said.

“Hi, Master Fu.” Marinette replied, a little unsure.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Nathanael asked. He watched as Marinette looked from him to Master Fu, opening and closing her mouth.

“I am a healer who lives nearby. Every once in a while Marinette delivers pastries to my house.” Master Fu said casually. Now that Nathanael thought about it, he vaguely remembered hearing about a “Master Fu’s Massage Shop” that was near his home. However, Marinette’s face said that there was more to the story. But then Master Fu shivered and Nathanael pushed the thought away, focusing on the task at hand.

“Do you have any towels?” Nathanael asked.

“Oh, um, yes! Let me grab them.” Marinette said, going into her house. She quickly came back and Master Fu began to dry himself off. She insisted that Nathanael take a towel as well. Then Tom came in with a change of clothes for Master Fu, Sabine following close behind with two hot cups of tea. Marinette must have told them what was going on.

“Here you go, sweetheart.” Sabine said, handing Nathanael one of the cups of tea.

“Oh. Thank you.” He said, accepting the cup. He reveled in its warmth. Then Master Fu, now in a change of dry clothes that were a bit too big, began to explain what happened between sips of tea. Soon he got to the part about the flower pot.

“Good job, Nathanael. That was quite heroic.” Tom said, clapping Nathanael on the back. He let out a gasp of pain.

“Are you hurt?” The baker asked, furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

“It’s nothing. The flower pot just hit me on the shoulder.” Nathanael said casually, but Tom was already pulling back the collar of his shirt to assess the damage.

“Marinette, can you get the first aid kit please.” Tom said, still looking at Nathanael’s injury. Marinette hurried to the back room.

“It doesn’t hurt that much.” Nathanael said unconvincingly. Tom lightly touched the tender area and Nathanael hissed in pain.

“Son, you’ve got a serious bruise. And you’re bleeding. I’m going to clean it up before it gets infected.” Tom said.

“I-infected?” Nathanael asked, feeling a little faint. Sabine came up to him and cupped his cheek.

“There’s nothing to worry about, sweetheart. We’ll just put a bandage on it and it will heal up fine. You did a very brave thing.” She said with a smile that reminded him of Marinette. Then Marinette came in with the first aid kit.

“How about you two take Master Fu into the house, give him some blankets.” Tom said to his wife and daughter. Marinette and Sabine nodded their heads and led Master Fu through the door to their house.

“I’ll need you to take your shirt off, is that okay?” Tom asked Nathanael.

“Y-yeah, sure.” Nathanael said, gingerly lifting his shirt above his head as he tried to ignore the pain in his shoulder. He was grateful to Tom for having everyone else leave the room. It would have been embarrassing to sit there, shirtless, while everyone was watching.

“Okay, this will sting a little.” Tom said. Nathanael simply nodded his head. He bit back a hiss as Tom wiped his shoulder with disinfectant. Then the baker wrapped his shoulder in a bandage. The wounded area still throbbed a bit, but it felt a lot better.

“All done.” Tom said, moving to face Nathanael.

“Thanks, for everything.” Nathanael said, a little embarrassed.

“I’m happy to help, I just wished that you told us you were injured from the beginning.” Tom said. He looked almost sad. Nathanael hung his head in shame.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you’ve already been so kind to me, I didn’t want to be an inconvenience.”

“You could never be an inconvenience, son. Whenever you need help, please come to us.” Tom said. Nathanael looked up at him and gave a small smile.

“Thanks.”

“I saw you help Ladybug today.” Tom said after a beat of silence. Nathanael looked at Tom, waiting for him to continue. He decided that with regards to the topic of Paris’ superheroes, he should keep his mouth shut whenever possible.

“I guess I’m one of what Alya would call her, “Ladybloggers.” Tom said with a laugh. Nathanael smiled.

“Helping Ladybug, helping that old man, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re a secret superhero.” Tom said with a chuckle.

“I’ve never been a big fan of spandex.” Nathanael said, wrinkling his nose. “Besides, Chat Noir and Ladybug do just fine on their own.”

Tom looked out the window and watched the rain. “They _are_ pretty amazing. But two akumas in the course of a few hours? That’s unusual. And if you didn’t intervene who knows what would have happened in the first fight?” Tom paused, looking pensive. “I have a feeling that they’re going to need all the help they can get.” After a moment he looked back at Nathanael.

“But you stay safe. Sabine almost had a heart attack when she saw you between Ladybug and an akuma. We were both worried.”

“I promise to be more careful.” Nathanael said. Tom gave him a smile. Then they went into the Dupain-Cheng house and joined the rest of the group.

“How are you feeling?” Marinette asked, looking him up and down, worry obvious in her voice.

“I’m much better, honestly. Actually, I think that I should head home.”

“Are you sure? You can stay here as long as you’d like.” Sabine said.

“Thank you, but I think I’m just going to lie down in my bed for a while. Today’s been a long day.” Nathanael said, sharing a knowing look with Marinette. Master Fu got up from the sofa and approached Nathanael.

“I appreciate your help today, and I’m sorry about your shoulder. You are a very nice young man.” Master Fu said. “You should take your jacket and umbrella back. It looks like the rain has quieted, but you might find need of them.” Nathanael could have sworn that he winked.

“Are you sure?”

Tom chimed in, saying, “We’ll take care of Master Fu until the rain stops.” Nathanael nodded his head and took his jacket and umbrella back. His jacket seemed heavier than usual, but Nathanael guessed that that was because it was still a little damp from the rain.

“It was nice meeting you, Master Fu.” Nathanael said.

“I hope to run into you again, but on better circumstances.” Master Fu replied, a glint in his eye. Then Marinette led Nathanael out of her house and to the bakery exit.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Marinette asked, looking at the gray storm clouds.

“Yeah, I think I need to go home and process all that happened today.” Nathanael said.

“I completely understand. Call me if you need anything, okay?” Marinette said, her blue eyes speaking of brighter, clearer days.

“Will do.” Nathanael answered. With that, he opened his umbrella and reentered the foggy afternoon, waving to Marinette as he began his walk home once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a random note, I've had "Here Comes a Thought" from the past Steven Universe episode stuck in my head as I was editing this. It reminds me a lot of Nathanael, since he's dealing with his own butterflies.


	10. Water Lillies

Nathanael shook the rain off of his umbrella and stepped through the front door of his house. Then he carefully shrugged off his backpack and rain jacket, careful not to strain his shoulder. When he looked up and moved his damp hair out of his eyes, he noticed that the light in the kitchen was on.

‘I could’ve sworn I turned it off before I left.’ Nathanael thought, approaching the room. When he walked in he saw both of his parents sitting at the table, looking at him with unreadable expressions.

“Wh-what are you guys doing home so early? You both said you’d be working through most of the night.” Nathanael said, still trying to process the fact that the three of them were in a room together. He couldn’t remember the last time that happened.

Every time he saw his parents he had a habit of memorizing what they looked like at that moment, almost like he was making a mental drawing of them, something he could hold on to in their absence. When he was nine, and his parents became busier with work, he began to wish that people were paintings that he could keep in his pocket forever, because paintings can’t change, and they can’t leave.

His mother had long, beautiful red hair that was currently pulled back into a high ponytail. Her makeup and clothing were perfect – she did work for Gabriel Agreste after all – however, Nathanael also noticed how tired she looked. There was a loose strand of hair that was covering one of her brown eyes. Her blouse looked slightly wrinkled as well. Then he looked over at his father.

His father was always a bit of a dreamer. At the moment he was looking at Nathanael, but Nathanael could also tell that he was looking past him, at something a million miles away. His father’s turquoise eyes told of the uncharted depths of the ocean – it was a place mysterious and unreachable. His square, thick-framed glasses were perched on the edge of his nose. Nathanael watched as he raked a hand through his thick, sandy hair. He always looked like a professor, with his tweed jacket and slight frame. Nathanael felt a pulse of happiness when he noticed that his father was wearing the navy scarf that he gave him for his birthday.

“We got a call from your school today.” Nathanael’s mom said. Nathanael shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He didn’t plan for this.

“Alix’s father told me that you were on the news.” Nathanael’s father added. Mr. Kubdel was a good friend of Nathanael’s father. Nathanael remembered how he and Alix used to race down the halls of the Louvre when their fathers were working on a new exhibit together. That seemed like a forever ago.

“Y-yeah, um, there was an akuma attack near the school and Ladybug, she –”

His mom held up a hand. Nathanael swallowed his next words and looked down in shame. Then he heard the click of his mother’s heels as she approached him. He braced himself for the scolding he was about to get, but was shocked to feel her arms around him.

“Are you okay?” She asked. He could hear her voice shaking slightly. Nathanael’s eyes widened in shock. Then he looked over at his father. His mouth was tight with worry.

“I – I, yes, Mom, I’m fine.” Nathanael said. When his mom squeezed tighter he yelped in pain. She quickly pulled away and gave him an accusing look.

“Okay, I might have hurt my shoulder, but it had nothing to do with the akuma attack. And the Dupain-Chengs already fixed me up so it’s no big deal.” Nathanael said quickly, realizing that these were probably the most words he’d said to his parents in a while.

The only emotion that Nathanael had room to feel was surprise. He was surprised that his parents weren’t too busy to answer a call from school, surprised that they came home early, surprised that his mother was just hugging him. He thought that Gabriel Agreste made his mom cold and the wide halls of the Louvre made his dad distant.

“I want to see this injury.” His mom said, pulling back his shirt to find the bandages. Nathanael watched as her eyes tightened. Then she sighed and faced Nathanael.

“Your teacher told us that you had to stay after school for detention.” She said.

Nathanael simply nodded his head.

“When they told us that there was an attack near your school, and you were in the middle of it – ” His mom paused to regain her composure. “What were you thinking?”

“I, well, Ladybug needed help.” Nathanael said lamely, he couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated when both of his parents were looking at him.

“Do you have any idea how worried we were?” His mom said. She looked betrayed.

Nathanael didn’t think about his parents at all when he went to help Ladybug. Why would he? He didn’t even expect them to notice. It was like his life and his parents’ lives ran parallel to each other, coexisting but never touching. He was just a lonely line stretching to nowhere. Nathanael could see the butterflies in the corner of his vision as he felt the familiar frustration and loneliness seep into his skin.

“No, I didn’t. To be honest, I had almost forgotten what you looked like.” Nathanael said, looking between his mother and father with a steely gaze. He could see the hurt on their faces, and he knew that that was a low blow, but Nathanael couldn’t take it anymore. He had been bottling this in for too long.

He had come to accept the fact that his parents were never around. He had become so used to it that he had began to see it as a natural part of his life. However, the more he talked to Marinette – the more he spent time with her family – the more he began to realize that that was what should be normal. Warmth, unconditional love, kindness. It was something that he desperately needed.

“Do you two have any idea how hard it is to come to an empty house every day? To be lucky if I see you before I go to bed? To wonder if you’ll be around for the next holiday?” Nathanael said, clenching his fists.

“I have been so alone for so long, I began to wonder if I was a mistake. I began to wonder if you were trying to forget about me.” He continued, trying to look at his parents through watery eyes. He could feel his throat burning. “Did I have any idea how worried you were? I barely even know you!” Nathanael said, feeling the tears roll down his cheeks like raindrops down a window pane. They stood in silence for a moment. His parents just stared with their mouths open as their son was breaking down in front of them.

“I just miss you so much.” Nathanael said, in a whisper, in a prayer. But he stood his ground, tired of hiding his sadness. He realized that he had yelled at a lot of people today – at the first akuma, at Lila, and now at his parents. He was a little worried that a butterfly was coming his way, but he didn’t regret what he had just said. He never wanted to go back to the silent rooftops and sleepless nights that he had wrapped himself up in before he saw Marinette transform. He was sick of hiding behind illusions and lies. He was sick of pretending to be okay. He listened to the rain patter against the roof, he heard a clap of thunder in the distance, he felt the quiet ache in his shoulder. He was numb to the world for so long, it was time to become a part of it again.

“I – I didn’t know you felt that way. I thought that you liked to be alone.” His father said quietly.

“I thought I did. But I really hate it.” Nathanael said in a raspy voice, refusing to meet his parents’ eyes.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” His mother asked softly. Nathanael gave her a tired look.

“You guys are surrounded by famous paintings and famous designers, so many important things and people, I thought that you’d be too busy to hear about my problems.” Nathanael said, letting his hair fall in his face. His father got up from his seat at the table and walked up to Nathanael. He lifted his hand to move the hair away from his son’s eyes.

“In all my years at the Louvre, I have seen a countless number of famous paintings, priceless works of art.” His father began. Nathanael looked up at him, not sure where he was going with this. “And yet, my favorite work of art, the only real masterpiece in my eyes, is you.” He said with a small smile. Nathanael stared at his father. His ocean eyes didn’t seem so distant anymore.

Nathanael attempted a laugh as he rubbed his eyes. “That was cheesy.”

“Nathanael, we are so sorry that we haven’t been around enough. We love you so much, and we want to give you everything. That’s why we work so hard, so you can be happy and have a bright future.” His mother said gently, stroking his hair.

“I don’t need everything, mom, I just need my parents.” Nathanael said, looking between his mom and dad.  

“Then I will take some time off of work; I’ll use my vacation days.” His mother declared.

“And I’ll see if I can only work during the morning shift, so that I can be here when you get home. I know some people who owe me a few favors anyway, and I’ve become pretty irreplaceable.” His father added, adjusting his glasses.

Nathanael looked at his parents in shock for a moment. Could it really be that easy? For years he had been slowly convincing himself that he’d always be alone. He thought that he would always be stuck in an empty house. Although he tried to ignore Hawkmoth’s words, he really thought that his parents didn’t love him anymore, but looking at their faces now he realized how wrong he was.

“So, you guys don’t hate me?” Nathanael asked, looking up at his parents.

“Of course not, honey, we love you more than anything in the world.” His mother said, tears welling up in her eyes. Then she began to cry. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been a terrible mother.” She said, turning away in shame. His father put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

“No, no. Please don’t cry. You’re not a terrible mother, I just didn’t realize how much you do for me, that you work so hard for my sake.” Nathanael said, desperate to make his mother feel better. He felt guilty about being so harsh before. She began to dab her eyes as she gave Nathanael a watery smile.

“I’ve missed seeing you both. I’ve been working so many late nights at the Louvre, I had begun to talk to the paintings.” His father gave a small smile. “It’s time for a change.” Nathanael’s mom grabbed her husband’s hand. Both of his parents looked hopeful, younger even.

“I love you guys.” Nathanael said, smiling through his tears. But these weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. He was beginning to hope that he had a family again.

“And we love you too, son.” His father said as he and his mom wrapped their arms around him. It was warm and comforting. He was finally home.

After a few minutes, Nathanael pulled away from the hug. When he looked out of the window, he noticed that the rain had stopped.

He knew that his relationship with his parents wouldn’t be fixed after one conversation. A degree of trust had to be built first before he could fully let them in. It was something that they would all have to work at. However, his parents wanted to make a real effort. They wanted to see him more. That was all he ever wanted.

“Just don’t run into the middle of anymore akuma attacks, okay?” His mother said with a soft smile.

“Okay.” Nathanael said.

“It looks like the rain’s stopped. How about we go somewhere for dinner?” Nathanael’s father said.

“That sounds like a great idea. Let’s go somewhere casual. I’m sick of all the stuffy restaurants that I have to go to for work.” His mother said, wrinkling her nose.

It was settled. Nathanael’s parents changed out of their work clothes and they went out to eat together. They found a nice little café nearby and they had a long talk. Nathanael’s dad talked about the new exhibit that was opening up in the Louvre soon. Nathanael’s mom told a hilarious story about the first – and last – time that Gabriel Agreste got drunk at a business party. Nathanael told his parents about the new friends that he had made, especially Marinette.

“Is she a potential girlfriend?” His mother said with raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“No. Well, I used to have a crush on her, but we’re just really good friends now.” Nathanael said, blushing as he tried not to think about a green-eyed brunette.

“But you like someone else.” His father said with a knowing gaze. Nathanael almost choked on his food.

“What makes you say that?” Nathanael asked after a coughing fit.

“That’s the look I used to get when I first had a crush on your mom.”

He watched as his parents began to hold hands from across the table.

“Tell Nathanael what the first thing you said to me was.” His mother said with a giggle. He watched as his father began to blush.

“Well, I said: Are you one of Monet’s masterpieces? Because you’ve really made an impression on me.” His father said, covering his free hand in embarrassment as his mother laughed. Nathanael tried to stifle his own laughter. These were the parents that he knew. Two art-loving dorks full of love and laugher. It reminded him of when he was a kid, before his parents had such important jobs – when he would watch his father breath the city of Paris into his paintings and listened to his mother sing old French songs as they walked across the Seine at night. Memories that he’d almost forgotten.

“Now tell Nathanael what you said to me.” his father said.

“I said: It looks like you need to brush up on your flirting techniques.”  

Nathanael groaned. “You did not use an art pun.” He said, mortified.

“That’s when I realized that I was in love with this woman.” His father said with a smile. Nathanael looked at both of his parents. He never knew that the biggest, dorkiest cinnamon bun romance was the one right in front of him. His cheeks began to hurt from smiling.

 

 

Nathanael walked into his room and shut the door. He had just said goodnight to his parents, who were still talking in the kitchen. Their laughter bubbled and filled the whole house. To Nathanael, it sounded like they were falling in love again. He smiled to himself as he walked over to his bed and pulled his homework out of his backpack. The next hour was filled with math problems, physics questions, and a little bit of reading. His fingers were itching to hold a paintbrush, and he was beginning to hope that he was finally ready, but the exhaustion in his bones was too hard to ignore.

‘I’ll try tomorrow.’ Nathanael thought, glancing over at the blank canvas in the corner of his room. It didn’t seem as threatening anymore. It looked like it had something to say. His fingers itched once again, but Nathanael was struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Two akumas, an odd old man, and dinner with my parents. What a weird day.” He moved his backpack onto the chair that his rain jacket was hanging on. Then he heard something hit the floor. Upon further inspection, he saw that it was a small, black, hexagonal box.

“I wonder how this got here.” Nathanael thought aloud. Then he realized that Master Fu must have slipped it in his jacket pocket.

“Nope. Nope. Definitely not. I’m an artist, so I know when something’s sketchy. And this, sir, is it.” Nathanael said, backing away from the box. He slowly grabbed his umbrella and poked at it. Nothing happened.

He got on his hands and knees and looked at it more closely. It seemed normal enough. And what was the worst that could happen, right? Maybe it was just some weird healing juice or whatever it was that Master Fu sold. He slowly reached out his hand to open it, but then backed away once more. His instincts told him that whenever a strange old man sneaks a mysterious box into your jacket, you definitely do not open it. And yet for some reason he could not pull his eyes away.

“Nope, I’ve had enough craziness for tonight.” With that, he threw his rain jacket over the mysterious box, turned off his light, and went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was making a rough sketch of Nathanael's costume as I was re-watching Miraculous Ladybug yesterday. Maybe I'll post it somewhere to give you guys a reference once I finally reveal what miraculous he got...I'll think about it. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! There were many boxes that I wanted to check off before Nathanael officially got the miraculous, and talking to his parents was one of them. I hope all of you beautiful people are having a beautiful day! :D


	11. The Persistence of Memory

You know those nights when you just can’t stop thinking? When there are so many ideas swirling in your head that your brain is too active for sleep? When you randomly remember different aspects of your life, and it’s like memories stick to you like lint on a t-shirt? Nathanael was having one of those nights.

He thought about Ladybug, Marinette, Chat Noir, Adrien. He thought about akumas and paint and rain and green and laughter and tears. He thought about his parents. It was like his mind was stuffed to capacity, and he didn’t know how to handle all of these new thoughts and feelings. An hour after he turned off the lights and he was staring at the ceiling, awake yet not awake.

Nathanael was used to restless nights. Hawkmoth and butterflies and shaking hands would keep him up. He would toss and turn under the covers. The Evillustrator would force him to relive that feeling of helplessness and pain and confusion. This was different. It was like he was following the string of his life, hands holding thread as he walked down a corridor. It was like he was somewhere in between dream and memory and reality. It was like an illusion was folding in on itself, separating Nathanael from the rest of the world.

He watched as memories floated by him, some good, some bad, all his. The little dust motes of thought echoed his last few days. They stretched across the corridor like a whole new lifetime. Looking back Nathanael began to appreciate how much had happened to him in less than a week.

Then he realized that the dust motes began to dance and change, they spoke of Hawaiian shirts and wise smiles and umbrellas and flowers. They whispered of a black box. Nathanael watched as the thread left his hand and began to transform. He looked on in awe as it shifted and moved and contorted. He wondered what secret it would tell. He could hear the whispering grow louder, more insistent. Then he was staring into the eyes of an animal.

Startled, the corridor around Nathanael quickly melted away and he was staring at his charcoal-covered ceiling once more. Through blurry and tired eyes he traced the drawings on his ceiling in his mind, trying to see if they would give him any answers. They didn’t. Then Nathanael remembered the black box.

He slowly got up and adjusted to the darkness. He could just make out the outline of his jacket, where the box was hiding underneath. He blew a lock of hair out of his face and debated whether or not to leave his warm cocoon.

With a large sigh he slid out of bed, feet touching the cool, wooden floor. He stumbled over to the light switch to his lamp and soon his room was swathed in a soft glow. His window became of beacon of light amongst the many streetlights of Paris. The night was quiet and unassuming – covered by a lazy spring darkness. Nothing special ever happened on nights such as these. They were made to be slept through.

He could hear the quiet snores from his parents’ bedroom. Everything was still and drowsy. Nathanael could feel the loneliness as the house slept on without him. Then he heard a laugh in the distance, and the faint hum of a guitar. Nathanael was comforted by the fact that the city was still awake, his constant companion under the moon.

He lifted his jacket and set it aside. Then he stared at the black box, shining under the glow of his lamp. Slowly, almost like he could feel the weight of the moment, Nathanael bent down and picked up the box. It was smooth and glossy, light and heavy at the same time. He grabbed his spring coat and opened the window, feeling the soft and smoky breeze as it played with his hair. With his good arm and a lot of shimmying, he managed to get on the roof.

He sat down and looked at his city – a constellation of lights and people over an ebony quilt. He finally began to feel like he was a part of it.

He remembered the nightmare he had – the image of black butterflies swarming around him on his roof, him falling as he watched the city dissolve in front of him. He looked down at his hands, hands that Hawkmoth controlled, hands that felt the pain of his influence, hands that fought Paris’ heroes – his classmates.

But they were also the hands that comforted Marinette, that pushed Master Fu away from the flower pot, that held onto his parents’ embrace. Hands meant a lot of things. They could be used to fist bump reporters, to comfort crying girls, to support a friend. They could hold your head after you hear a terrible pun from a mangy cat.

Nathanael realized that hands weren’t evil. Hands were tools just like paint brushes. It was his choice as to what to do with them. He was in control. He slowly clenched his hands into fists.

“I’m not afraid anymore.” Nathanael admitted aloud, breaking into a smile as he and Paris breathed together. A sense of peace washed over him, a feeling that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Then he glanced at the box.

‘It’s probably nothing. Just a fancy gift card to his shop or something.’ Nathanael thought, curiosity gently nudging on the back of his mind. He took one last breath, and then used his hands – _his_ hands – to open it.

Nathanael looked away as a ball of orange light flew out of the box. ‘No, it was definitely sketchy.’ Nathanael thought as he blinked the spots out of his eyes, immediately regretting his decision. When he looked back he saw a small fox-like thing staring back at him.

“Wow. This is new.” The creature said in a light, airy voice. Nathanael watched as it inspected its four black paws and twitched its small ears. Then it ran one of its paws down its puffy tail, fascinated by the white tip.

“Uh, wh-what?” Nathanael said, feeling as though his brain was shutting down. The only coherent thought in his brain was that the creature’s fur was the same shade of orange as that frosting that Tom spilled all those years ago. A pretty reddish-orange, like embers of a dying fire.

He watched as the creature began to stretch. Then it realized that it had an audience.

“Oh my. So you are my new chosen? Great. Amazing. What is your name?” The creature looked at him with its curious, completely brown eyes.

Nathanael was surprised by how calm he was. He supposed that so many extraordinary things happened today, it only made sense that the universe had one more thing up its sleeve. However, that didn’t mean that he was ready to talk to some magical being that burst out of some box that a strange old man planted in his jacket. He was beginning to suspect that Master Fu was more than a healer.

“Um – Ah.” Nathanael puffed his cheeks, unsure of what to say. His instincts told him to run. “I’m pretty sure that I’m dreaming so I’m just going to go back to bed and – ” Nathanael said, standing up and inching towards the edge of the roof. He used his arms to lower himself down to the window, something he had done a thousand times, but he forgot that he was injured. The pain in his right shoulder spiked and he lost his grip. Nathanael could only gasp as he began to fall – and it was a long way down.

Paris became nothing more than streaks of light and colors as he desperately tried to find something to hold on to. Fear began to creep up his skin and grab hold of his throat. He reached his arms to the sky, desperately hoping that he could grab onto a star, anything that could take him away from this horrible nightmare. He had come so far, he had just begun to feel okay again, it couldn’t end like this. Nathanael could feel the frustrated tears well up in the corners of his eyes. He wanted to _live_. He desperately wanted to _live_.

“Just yell, tranforme moi!” He heard a small voice say into his ear. When he glanced to his left he saw an orange blur. He watched as it put a strange necklace over his head.

“Transforme moi?” He asked, still in shock as he fell, terrible flashbacks bleeding into reality. He remembered his nightmare once more – the cloud of akumas, Hawmoth’s voice, falling. It was too similar. Everything was happening too fast.

“Good enough.” The blur said. Nathanael shielded his eyes as the blur disappeared in a flash of light.

‘ _Now brace for impact!’_ Nathanael heard that light, airy voice yell in his mind. Not having time to think, Nathanael just curled into a ball and waited for the nightmare to end. He shut his eyes as he fell through the darkness, the world falling away as terror invaded the nooks and folds of his mind. Then he felt the air leave his lungs as he crashed into something leafy. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He felt jittery and confused – but at least he was physically okay.

“I’m alive.” Nathanael said, letting out a sob of relief. He laid back on the ground and heard a laugh escape his lips. “I can’t believe I fell off the roof.” Nathanael said to himself, embarrassed and confused and relieved and terrified all at the same time. He looked around in the darkness and realized that he was sitting in a bush. When he looked up he could see his window, the only one alight in his house.

“Wh-what just happened?” Nathanael asked to no one in particular, checking to see if any of his bones were broken. By some miracle, he was fine.

_‘Do not worry, I was able to absorb most of the impact. But you might have a bruise or two.’_ There was that voice again. It sounded almost as if someone was talking to him in a large, empty room, the sound echoing through his mind, making it hard to pinpoint.

Nathanael clutched his head and tried not to panic. “What’s going on?” He asked in a whisper, listening to his pounding heart.

_‘Calm down. Everything is okay. This is all pretty new to me too.’_ The voice said.

“Where did you go?” Nathanael asked, taking deep breaths as he looked around him, trying to look for a flash of orange amongst the darkness.

_‘I am in the necklace.’_

Nathanael looked down and saw the chain around his neck. On the end of it was what looked like a fox tail. But that wasn’t the only thing that Nathanael noticed.

“What am I wearing?” He exclaimed, scrambling to his feet and stumbling to the nearest streetlight. From what he could tell he had on a one-piece suit, kind of like Ladybug and Chat Noir’s. A thick, white stripe ran down the center of his torso and down the inner half of his legs. Black boots went up to the middle of his calves. The rest of his body was covered in a dark, reddish orange material, much like the color of that little fox’s fur. Black gloves reached up to his elbows. He saw that each of his shoulders were covered by a patch of dark gray. Then he noticed something in the corner of his eye.

“I have a tail!” Nathanael whisper-yelled, spinning around before he caught the tail in his hands. It was long and puffy, with a white tip at the end. Nathanael stroked the soft material. The tail was connected to a thick, orange belt that wrapped around his waist.

“This is insane.” Nathanael said, putting a hand on his forehead as he tried to process what was happening. He was beginning to think that Master Fu had slipped some “healing juice”

into his tea. Then he felt something around his eyes. He brought his other hand to his face and touched some sort of sturdy material. He couldn’t seem to take it off.

_‘It is a mask.’_ The voice commented. He could hear the tinkling of laughter in the back of his mind.

“This isn’t funny!” Nathanael exclaimed running a hand through his hair.

“Oh no. No way.” He said, his hands moving to the top of his head. “I have ears too?”

Nathanael leaned against the streetlight for support, eyes wide and panicked.

_‘Do you really not know what is going on?’_ The voice asked softly. Nathanael thought he did, but that didn’t mean that he was ready to accept it.

“Can you please get out of my head?” Nathanael asked. He didn’t like the idea of a new voice in his head, especially when he was still trying to get rid of the old one. However, it wasn’t like the times when he could hear Hawkmoth’s voice. This creature’s voice was soft and gentle. It felt almost comforting. Regardless, it was still too much for Nathanael to handle at the moment.

_‘Of course. You just need to say –actually – I do not really know what you are supposed to say.’_ The voice pondered.

“I don’t want to be a furry anymore.’ Nathanael said through gritted teeth, impatient to be alone in his head.

_‘I have no clue what that means, but I guess it will do.’_ Nathanael watched as his necklace began to glow and tiny baubles of yellow light covered his body. Soon he was back in his pajamas, and the ears and tail were gone. Nathanael breathed a sigh of relief.

“So this time I am a red fox. Interesting.” The creature said, floating a foot away from Nathanael.

“Huh?”

“Well, there are many different types of foxes: artic foxes, fennec foxes, even Tibetan sand foxes. I never know what kind of fox I am going to be next. This time I am a red fox. It goes very nicely with your hair.” It said, braiding a strand of Nathanael’s hair and humming.

“What’s your name?” Nathanael asked, looking up at the fox-like creature who was currently snuggling into his hair. It hummed in thought.

“I think my name is Yishu. Yes, I am sure of it.” The creature – Yishu – replied.

“You forgot your own name?” Nathanael asked.

“It changes. I have had many different names, a new one for each chosen. This time, it is Yishu. Yishu paused. “It is fun to say. You did not get the chance to tell me your name.”

“I’m Nathanael.” He replied, still not used to the fact that he was talking to a, well, he didn’t know what he was talking to.

“That is a nice name, Nath-an-yell.” Yishu said slowly, braiding another strand of Nathanael’s hair.

Nathanael always had long hair, and he remembered how his mother used to love to play with it. She used to comb her fingers through his hair and sing him songs whenever he was anxious or sad. It would always calm him down. Nathanael began to relax as Yishu kept braiding, comforted by the happy memories.

Nathanael noticed that something about Yishu was very soothing. The little fox had a slow, soft voice. She was quite curious, like she was seeing the world with fresh eyes. Nathanael had the impression that they were going through this experience together. It was new to the both of them, and yet instead of asking a tirade of questions and overwhelming Nathanael, Yishu was content to just sit atop his head. There was no urgency, which helped Nathanael get over his intial panic more smoothly than he had anticipated.

As Nathanael stared up at the moon he was beginning to feel the exhaustion tug at him, like an invisible rope was pulling him back to his bed. He covered his mouth as he yawned.

“Oh. You are tired! You must sleep!” Yishu said, leaving her spot on Nathanael’s head and floating in front of his face.

“I can’t sleep now! I have so many questions!” Nathanael exclaimed, trying to stifle another yawn.

“I will answer all of your questions another time, Nathanael.” Yishu said with a smile. Nathanael was about to resist, but the adrenaline from the fall was beginning to fade away.

“Okay, but once I wake up I want some answers.” Nathanael said in a firm voice, his eyes half-closed. Yishu giggled.

“Of course.” With that, Nathanael and Yishu snuck back into the house (Nathanael knew that there was a spare key under a pot by the front door) and managed to make it to his bedroom without waking up his parents.

Nathanael walked over to the window in his room, looking down at the bush he had crushed. ‘I could’ve really gotten hurt. Yishu might have saved by life.’ Nathanael thought, tearing his eyes away and closing the window. He looked at the clock in his room. It was two a.m. Nathanael groaned and got into bed, pulling the covers over himself. Then he felt a slight weight on his chest. He peeked his head out from the covers and looked at Yishu.

“Am I a superhero?” He asked in a quiet voice. He felt like he was a child asking his mother if Santa was real.

“That is up to you.” Yishu said with a warm smile, looking at him with soft, wide eyes. The little fox seemed both wise and childlike at the same time. Like she had seen many things, things long gone and forgotten. Like she was a stranger to this reality, and belonged to a different one. He watched as Yishu floated over to his head, snuggling once more into his hair.

“What if my parents come in?” Nathanael asked, imagining the looks on their faces if they saw a talking magical fox resting on their son’s head.

“Do not worry, I do not plan on sleeping. If I hear your parents coming I will hide.” Yishu paused. “I have been in that box for a long time. I just want to sit here and see the sunrise.” The little fox said softly, stroking Nathanael’s hair. He was struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Just don’t braid all of my hair while I’m asleep.” Nathanael said. Yishu laughed, quiet and delicate, like the sound of small bells.

“Okay.” With that, Nathanael drifted off to sleep. He was not kept awake by his thoughts this time. So much had just happened to him, but he didn’t feel the need to think about it right now. He would ask questions tomorrow. At this moment, he felt a sense of completion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious if any of you can figure out why I named the fox kwami Yishu (pronounced Yee-shoo). If you have any guesses let me know! Stay miraculous guys!
> 
> Here is a link to what Nathanael's costume looks like, made by the amazing and talented gerryiscool91
> 
> http://nobodys-pearls.tumblr.com/post/157084645478/gerryiscool91-spoiler-alert-i-drew-nathanael-as


	12. Untitled (Perfect Lovers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday, as I was just finishing this chapter, my computer freaked and it was all deleted. It was quite upsetting. That's why I'm posting a little later than usual. As I was rewriting I decided to change some things, but I feel good about it. I hope you guys enjoy, and happy one year anniversary of Miraculous Ladybug!

Nathanael groggily sat up in bed as his alarm beeped insistently. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and let out a yawn. After a very satisfying stretch he got out of bed, turned off the alarm, and grabbed a set of clothes. Through half-lidded eyes he entered the bathroom, a hand lazily trailing the orange swirls and streaks of midnight blues on the wall.

“Just one more day. Then it’s the weekend.” Nathanael mumbled to no one in particular. His brain felt cottony and light, not quite awake. The house was quiet – his parents told him last night that they had to leave early in the morning. His father was going to ask if he could only work half-days and his mother was going to talk to Gabriel Agreste about cashing in her vacation time. “Just one more day. Then I won’t have to be alone.” Nathanael said with a sleepy smile.

He imagined what it would be like to smell breakfast when he woke up, to listen to his father’s classic stories as he drank his coffee, to have his mother kiss his cheek before he left for school. Things they used to do. It seemed too domestic, too cliché – he couldn’t wait.

Nathanael slowly got changed into his clothes for school and then looked in the mirror. He realized that something was different. Upon further inspection he noticed that there were about ten little braids in his hair. Then the events of last night came to him in flashes, waking him up. He remembered opening the black box, falling from his roof, meeting –”

“Yishu! I thought I told you not to braid my hair as I slept!” Nathanael yelled, not sure where the little fox was.

“You told me not to braid _all_ of your hair. I just braided some of it.” Yishu said, popping up behind him. She picked up Nathanael’s toothbrush, fascinated by it. Nathanael simply sighed and gently took the toothbrush out of her hands. Then he squeezed some toothpaste onto it.

“So, um, I hope this isn’t rude of me to ask, but, what are you exactly?” Nathanael said, beginning to brush his teeth.

“I’m a kwami, a magical being whose powers are tied to a piece of jewelry, in this case, that necklace.” Yishu said, pointing at Nathanael’s chest. He looked down and saw that he was still wearing the chain. He had forgotten it was there. Weirdly, it seemed like a natural part of him now. He noticed that the fox tail at the end of the necklace was currently white.

‘I guess it’s only orange when Yishu is inside of it.’ Nathanael thought. He put the necklace under his shirt. With Hawkmoth’s obsession over Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s miraculouses, he thought that it would be best to keep his hidden.

“Are there other, kwi-kwamis?” Nathanael asked, the word foreign in his mouth. “Do Ladybug and Chat Noir have one?”

“Yes, but the Ladybug and Chat Noir miraculouses are different.” Yishu stated, doing lazy loops in the air.

“How so?”

“They are two halves of the same whole – good and bad luck, creation and destruction – one cannot function properly without the other.”

Nathanael thought about that. Was that why Marinette was head-over-heels for Adrien? And why Chat Noir was so enamored with Ladybug? Was this love square all because of magic, or were they chosen to be Ladybug and Chat Noir because of a preexisting bond? Were they fated to always dance around each other? Either way, Nathanael didn’t know how he fit into all of this.

“So what does the fox miraculous do?” He asked. Yishu perched on the edge of the sink.

“The fox miraculous is different. It is not like the others. Foxes are known to be clever, adaptable. It is hard to catch something as flexible as liquid. Therefore, my miraculous magnifies the heart of the chosen and changes accordingly. How you use your power is up to you.”

“That’s a lot of responsibility.” Nathanael said, glancing at himself in the mirror. He was small and pale and skinny, not exactly hero-like.

“Yes. And many people have failed.” Yishu said, looking at her paws. “There have been many chosen who have used my power for trickery, for their own selfish desires. Both history and myth are drenched in their misdeeds. When the heart is tested, it does not always resist temptation.”

“Can’t you do anything about it?” Nathanael asked, shocked by how unfair it all seemed.

“All I can hope for is that the right chosen is picked, and that their heart is not corrupted in the face of power. Really it is what all of us kwamis hope for.”

Nathanael came to a realization. “Does Hawkmoth have a kwami?”

“I am not entirely sure who that is, but there _is_ a butterfly miraculous. It gives the chosen the power to create champions, people with powers who will fight for his or her cause.”

“That’s pretty much all that Hawkmoth does. He manipulates people’s emotions to create villains.” Nathanael said, feeling like he was going to be sick. He thought about that poor kwami, forced to do evil, forced to work for a madman that controls innocent people. He felt anger bubble up in the pit of his soul.

Yishu’s ears drooped. “Miracles are a double-edged sword.” She said sadly. It was interesting to see this side of Yishu. He saw the wisdom in her eyes. It was hard to believe that this was the same little fox that liked to braid his hair.

“That’s enough questions for now.” Nathanael said softly, stroking behind one of Yishu’s ears. She closed her eyes and hummed. Then Nathanael realized that he was running late for school.

“Oh shoot. Marinette and I were going to walk to school together.” Nathanael said, quickly splashing his face with water. He rushed into his room to grab his backpack, Yishu following close behind.

“School? How exciting! I have not been to a school in over a century!” Yishu said, clasping her hands as she did a spin in the air.

“It might be a little different than you remembered.” Nathanael said, slinging his backpack over his good shoulder and heading to the kitchen. Then he stopped abruptly, Yishu bumping into his back.

“Oh, sorry Yishu. It’s just that I realized I don’t know where to hide you.” Nathanael said. There were no pockets inside of his jacket, and his bag was crammed with stray pencils and art supplies.

“I am going with you?” Yishu asked with wide, hopeful eyes.

“Of course, I’m not going to leave you alone in this house all day.” Nathanael said, knowing what it was like. Yishu floated up to his head and snuggled into his hair. Then his eyes fell on the coatrack. He walked over and picked up his dark blue beanie. He didn’t wear it that often, it was a bit too big, but he reasoned that that would make it roomier.

He gently placed the beanie on his head. “How’s that?” He asked.

“Very nice. It is quite cozy.” Yishu said with a hum.

“Okay. Then we’ll see how this works.” Nathanael declared, wondering if he’d have to wear a beanie for the rest of his life, or at least as long as he was a superhero. No, he didn’t feel like he earned the title of “superhero” just yet. For now he just had a magical and ancient roommate. Being a hero was about what you did. As he thought about heroes his mind drifted towards Marinette.

“Oh no. She’s probably waiting for me by now.” Nathanael said, grabbing a small croissant for the road.

“Ooh this is so much fun!” Yishu said, beginning to braid Nathanael’s hair. He laughed and rushed out of his house, taking indulgent breaths of fresh air as he felt possibility carry him like wings.

 

 

“You’re going to love Marinette. She’s Ladybug.” Nathanael said quietly as he hurried down the street.

“You know Ladybug’s identity?” Yishu asked.

“Yeah, and I kinda figured out Chat Noir’s identity the other day. He doesn’t know it yet though.” Nathanael said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Yishu hummed in thought. “I am not really surprised. It is not uncommon for the fox miraculous holder to discover the civilian identities of their fellow heroes. Being in my presence, even when one is not transformed, gives the chosen heightened perception. It _is_ curious that you figured out their identities _before_ you received the miraculous. I can understand why Master Fu chose you. You are already quite skilled.” She said warmly.

Nathanael blushed. “It was mostly by accident. And they’re both my classmates so it wasn’t very hard to figure out.” He paused for a moment. “Wow, three miraculous holders in one school. That’s a weird coincidence, isn’t it?”

“When you are as old as I am, you come to a point when you do not believe in coincidences.” Yishu said, beginning to braid another strand of Nathanael’s hair. He thought about that for a moment. The way Yishu said it sounded almost heartbreaking. What was it like to watch as people lived and died? To see civilizations grow and crumble? To witness the change of science, religion, culture, thought? It seemed overwhelming. He couldn’t help but wonder how Yishu was still so curious and childlike.

“Why do you like to braid my hair so much?” Nathanael asked, feeling the gentle tugs at the top of his head. He heard Yishu’s soft giggle.

“It is so soft, and I have never had a chosen with a red head. Like a tomato.” Yishu said in wonder.

‘Do I really look like a tomato? Maybe I should get a haircut…” Nathanael thought.

“Also, my last chosen had many beautiful braids in her hair.” She paused. “I was a Corsac fox. My name was Fennu. She had a nine-tailed whip made out of white light.” Yishu said, her voice sounding far away.

“What was she like?” Nathanael asked.

“She was strong, and angry, and alone. But she was also very kind. We fought many battles together. I remember loud noises and bright lights and the world was covered in scars. We are in Paris, right? We visited Paris once, it did not look like this.”

“When did you visit Paris?” Nathanael asked, watching as history began to stretch out before him. He wondered if they were here when people still traveled by carriages, or when Napoleon was the emperor, or during the Great Flood of Paris.

“Seventy years ago.” Yishu said immediately.  

Nathanael did the math in his head. 1946. World War II. He was suddenly finding it hard to swallow.

“Wait, so she was your last chosen, before me? So how long have you been in that box for?” Nathanael asked slowly.

“Seventy years.” Yishu said quietly. Nathanael was a little surprised by this.

‘What happened in Paris?” Nathanael thought, but he wasn’t sure if it’d be too insensitive to ask, so they walked on in silence for a few moments.

“We were together for three years, but then in Paris she was captured. I told her that we could still fight, but she did not want me to get into the wrong hands. You humans were very fond of weapons in those days. So, she put me back into my box, and I never knew what happened to her.” Yishu said.

“Yishu, you don’t have to talk about it if –” Nathanael began.

“No, it is okay.” Yishu said. “I like to talk about her, to me it feels like it was yesterday. And there is a point that I am trying to make.” She took a breath, the gentle breeze tickling the top of Nathanael’s head. “For decades I was in my box, awake yet not awake. And then last year Master Fu found me somewhere underground –  amongst the wreckage of an old Paris, one that knew of war, one covered up by the scars of this new, beautiful, confusing Paris.”

Nathanael looked around. He saw the small cafés, the bustling people, the intricate architecture. It was beautiful. It was his city. But he could also see a different Paris under the surface, one full of debris and smoke and hardship. He thought that Hawkmoth was evil, but he was just beginning to realize what true evil was. It was something that didn’t hide behind a mask; it was something that looked proudly at the destruction it had caused.

“And now I am here with you. I am very happy to be here with you.” Yishu said, snuggling into his hair. “I remember all of my chosen. I remember who they were, who I was, what we did together. I remember their smiles and battle cries and bruises. I remember their hearts. Some used me for evil, others for good, some were just my friend. Each are important because I grew up with them. I learned more about the complexity of humanity. And a millennium from now, I will still remember you, Nathanael, and your pretty hair.”

Nathanael was speechless. It took a moment to realize that there were tears in his eyes. He kept walking. To the outsider he looked like a normal kid heading off to school, and in a way he was. But he also had a little fox whispering of kindness and friendship and humanity and time in his ear.

“And I will never forget you, Yishu.” Nathanael said after a moment, reaching a hand under his beanie to stroke her head. He could hear her soft hum. Then he realized that he was almost at the bakery. He could see Marinette waving at him. He waved back. Everything suddenly felt too normal, too routine. He felt like he was a hundred years old.

“We’re almost at the bakery, Yishu.” Nathanael whispered, quickening his step.

“I cannot wait to see your school! To meet all of your friends! Well, not meet them, that would give them quite a scare, but see them! And Ladybug and Chat Noir will be there! You know, my chosen and Plagg’s chosen were quite the duo during the American Revolution, and that cat had such wit! She was as clever as a fox, and I do not use that expression lightly. What is this Plagg’s new chosen like? Chat Noir?” Yishu asked excitedly. Nathanael realized that the more enthusiastic she was about something, the faster she talked.

He was having a hard time figuring out Yishu’s personality. She was young and old, happy and somber, straightforward and philosophical. It was a dichotomy that he was struggling to understand. But it also liked it about her. She was quirky.

He was only a few yards from the bakery, so he kept his voice low when he said seriously, “Chat Noir is a huge dork.”

“What is a dork?” Yishu asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Nathanael whispered.

“Good morning, Nathanael!” Marinette said happily, holding a small bag of pastries in her hand.

“Hey, Marinette. I’m so sorry that I made you wait; I was running late this morning.” Nathanael said apologetically as he walked up to her, very aware of the small weight on his head.

“Don’t worry about it! Actually, Papa just made a fresh batch of Kouign Amann and realized that he made a few extra. He’s tinkering with the recipe and thought that we could try them as we walked to school. He wanted to see what we thought of them.” Marinette said, waving her paper bag back and forth. Nathanael could smell the sugar.

“I didn’t realize that being friends with you had such perks.” Nathanael said with a wide smile as Marinette reached her hand into the bag and handed over one of the pastries. It was still warm.

“I think you might be drooling, Nathanael.” Marinette said with laugh. Nathanael blushed as he wiped his mouth, then he realized that she was teasing him. He shot her a glare as she continued to laugh but soon joined in as well. Then they began their walk to school. Two teenagers, two kwamis, two pastries and one perfect, peaceful Parisian morning.

“Are those braids in your hair?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I encourage you all to look up the artwork that this chapter is named after. It's heartbreaking but so moving.


	13. Wanderer above the Sea of Fog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter guys! School's starting for me soon so I won't be able to post as often but I fully intend to keep writing! It's been so much fun! Enjoy!

He didn’t tell Marinette. He wanted to tell Marinette, to pull off his beanie and introduce her to Yishu, to tell her that he fell off of his roof last night and got ears and a tail. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

The guilt became heavier with each step as they walked to school together. He knew _her_ identity, wasn’t it only fair that she knew his? And yet, every time he was about to tell her, the words just didn’t come.

The fox miraculous was shrouded in mystery. Its main advantage was that no one knew much about it. Even Yishu couldn’t anticipate what the miraculous would do. He didn’t feel like it was his place to reveal his secret to anyone, even Marinette.

He decided that he would talk to Yishu about it. They were a team – they were experiencing this together. Revealing his identity should be a joint decision.  

“I like the beanie.” Marinette said, warm blue eyes on Nathanael. He gave her a nervous smile.

“Thanks.”

“Can I try it on?” Marinette asked, hand reaching up towards Nathanael’s head.

“N-no!” He blurted out. He saw the shock in Marinette’s eyes, making him feel even guiltier than he already was.

“Sorry. It’s just, I’m having a bad hair day.” Nathanael said lamely.

“I get it. We all have those days.” Marinette said with an easy smile. Nathanael let out the breath he was holding. Then they walked on in silence for a few minutes.

“So how’s Master Fu?” Nathanael asked.

“He’s great. He ended up having dinner with us, and then I walked him home once the rain stopped. He wanted me to tell you how grateful he was. I think you made quite an impression on him.” Marinette said with a smirk.

‘It sure seems like it.’ Nathanael thought, feeling Yishu snuggle deeper into his hair. He glanced at Marinette. It was subtle, but Nathanael knew Marinette well enough by now to notice that her expression was slightly guarded. She seemed conflicted, and maybe a little guilty. It was the same expression she had when Nathanael brought Master Fu to the bakery yesterday.

At the bakery he noticed that Marinette acted slightly off, but he didn’t know why. Now he thought he understood. ‘Marinette must know about Master Fu’s “side job” involving the miraculouses.’ He reasoned.

“He made an impression on me as well. That Hawaiian shirt is quite a fashion statement.” Nathanael joked. Marinette giggled in response, some of the tension leaving her face. He heard Yishu’s quiet, amused hum as well.

Then he remembered Yishu saying that Ladybug had a kwami. He wondered if the little ladybug was hiding somewhere on Marinette’s person, listening to this conversation. He wondered what the kwami thought of him.

More and more Nathanael was beginning to understand that although he figured out Ladybug’s identity, he didn’t know everything about the superhero. Marinette never told him about Master Fu, or that she had a kwami. And she wasn’t obligated to, he was just a citizen. Or, at least he used to be, before he fell off his roof. He understood that she had to keep things about herself a secret, for the safety of everyone around her. Nathanael already felt guilty for keeping Yishu a secret from Marinette, he could only imagine how she felt.

“Marinette,” He began, looking at the Parisian skyline. He could feel her curious eyes on him. “You know that it’s okay to keep Ladybug stuff from me, right?” He asked. He could hear her begin to sputter. He held up a hand and looked at her with a small smile.

“I don’t want you to feel guilty about keeping secrets. I don’t need to know everything about Ladybug, it’s probably better if I don’t.” Nathanael said with a soft laugh.

Marinette just opened and closed her mouth, unsure of what to say. Then she took a deep breath and kicked a pebble down the street. “I’m sorry Nathanael. It’s so nice to have someone to talk about my double-life with, but you’re right, I still can’t tell you everything. It’s just not safe.” Marinette let out a frustrated sigh and put her head in her hands. “I feel like I’m deceiving everyone. I’m so afraid that if they ever find out that I’m lying to them, they would hate me. And I wouldn’t blame them.” She picked her head up, looking somewhere far away. “I used to worry that Hawkmoth would take away the people I care about, but what if I end up doing it myself?”

“Marinette, you’re doing the right thing. You’re protecting people. Sure you’re keeping secrets, but secrets aren’t always bad. Sometimes they’re necessary.”

Marinette didn’t look convinced. “I just keep imagining Alya finding out that I’m Ladybug. I keep imagining how betrayed she’d look if she knew that I was hiding this part of myself from her. I feel like a terrible friend.” She admitted, slouching her shoulders.

“Alya’s smart, and tough. But more than that, she’s understanding. She loves you, both as Marinette and as Ladybug. I will admit that she’d probably be shocked at first, but she’d never push you away. If anything she’d be ecstatic to find out that two of her favorite people in the world are actually one, amazing person.” Nathanael paused. “What I admire about you, Marinette, is your faith in people, in good. Can’t you have faith in us?” He asked.

Marinette stared up at him for a second, eyes wide and conflicted. Then she looked away and broke into a small smile.

“Of course I can.” They walked in silence for a few moments.

“Why did you bring this up all of a sudden?” She asked.

“I could tell that that’s what you needed to hear right now.” Nathanael said simply, blowing a lock of hair out of his face and gently adjusting his beanie. Maybe he was also trying to convince himself that it was okay to keep his own secrets.

“Besides, I figured out your secret identity and your crush on Adrien, are you really surprised that I picked up on this too?” Nathanael asked with a smirk. When he thought more about it, he _was_ finding it easy to read Marinette’s expressions this morning. It usually wasn’t hard – she was a very expressive person – but he couldn’t help but wonder if part of it was due to Yishu’s influence. She _did_ say that he would have heightened perception.

“You just know my whole life story, don’t you?” Marinette teased, punching his arm lightly.

“It’s been an interesting read.” Nathanael replied. Marinette gave him a warm smile.

“Thanks for understanding, Nathanael.” She paused, furrowing her eyebrows. “I wish I could be more honest with you.”

“I know. But no matter what I’m here for you, whether you want to talk or you just need a friend. Your life is complicated enough, so I never want you to feel guilty about keeping things about Ladybug from me, okay?”

“Okay.” Marinette said softly. Nathanael could tell that she was still a little bit unsure, but as they kept moving forward he noticed that she walked with a lighter step, as if a weight was taken off of her shoulders.

“Oh, I meant to tell you, I talked to my parents after I went home from the bakery yesterday.” Nathanael said.

“Oh wow. How’d it go?” Marinette asked, wide eyes on him.

“We had a long talk. I finally told them how I felt.” Nathanael said. Marinette put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“That couldn’t have been easy.” She said sympathetically. Nathanael nodded.

“It wasn’t. But you were right, they really do care about me. They had no idea what I was feeling. My dad’s going to try and work mornings so that we can spend the afternoons together, and my mom’s going to try and use her vacation days.”

“That’s amazing!” Marinette said, pulling Nathanael into a hug. He laughed.

“It really is. For the first time in a while, I feel good. Hopeful. And this all started because of you, Marinette.” He looked at his friend, the happy blue in her eyes filling up his own soul, much like how the ocean reflected the sky.

Marinette gave Nathanael’s shoulders a slight squeeze. “I can’t take all of the credit. In the end it’s you who gets to decide how you feel.”

He reflected on her words. She was right. He was in control of his feelings and no one else. Not even Hawkmoth. He smiled and saw that they were approaching the school. He had a good feeling about today.

They made it to the steps of the school when they noticed a car pull up behind them. Nathanael watched Marinette’s blush darken as Adrien stepped out and made his way towards the duo.

“Hey guys!” He called cheerfully.

“Morning good, I mean, mood gorning, I mean good morning!” Marinette sputtered. Nathanael gave his friend a look and whispered. “Just be yourself, Marinette. Take a breath. Pretend that you’re talking to Chat Noir.” Marinette glanced at him.

“Adrien and Chat Noir are completely different people. Adrien’s sweet and cool and perfect.” Marinette said, a dreamy smile on her face. Nathanael tried not to laugh at the irony.

“Okay, then try talking to him like you talk to me. I think you’ll be surprised.” Nathanael said. Marinette thought about that for a moment, and then nodded her head and furrowed her eyebrows in determination as Adrien walked up to them.

“Hey Adrien. How’s it going?” Nathanael asked. Adrien broke into a wide smile.

‘What a sunshine child. Perfect for a clear blue sky.’ He thought, looking fondly at Marinette. She was doing okay so far; her blushing was only at a minimum.

“Good. I’m good.” Adrien said, rubbing the back of his neck. Nathanael looked between Marinette and Adrien.

‘These poor children have no idea what to do. And I thought that I was socially awkward.’ Nathanael thought. He was beginning to feel like a fairy godmother of sorts, trying to give his friends a happy ending. Then he had an idea.

“So have you guys listened to Jagged Stone’s new album?” Nathanael asked.

“Of course.” Marinette and Adrien said at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled shyly.

“I can’t decide what my favorite song is.” Nathanael said, looking between his two classmates.

“Well, personally I think ‘Asteroid Tears’ is the best. It has the best lyrics.” Adrien said.

“Sorry, but ‘Rocket Science Guitar’ is definitely the best song on that album. The riff in the middle is awesome.” Marinette argued.

Adrien quirked an eyebrow in surprise. Nathanael could tell that he looked amused.

“Any true fan would agree with _me_.” Adrien challenged, crossing his arms. Marinette gasped and looked at Adrien. Then she stood on her tiptoes and said, “I’m Jagged’s biggest fan. I designed his album cover, remember? The one _you_ asked me to sign?” She said with a glint in her eyes. At this point their faces were only inches apart, and Marinette still held her ground. Was Adrien blushing?

This was it. Nathanael cracked the code. Marinette’s desire to win trumped her awkwardness around Adrien. Perfect.

“Bippity-boppity boo.” Nathanael mumbled, smiling to himself.

Suddenly his classmates remembered that Nathanael was there, and they quickly stepped back from each other, looking away in embarrassment.

“What’d you say, Nathanael?” Marinette asked, pink dusting her cheeks. Nathanael thought for a moment, determined not to let them lose all of their progress.

“I was thinking about listening to XY instead.” Nathanael said casually.

“No!” Marinette gasped.

“The betrayal!” Adrien said, scandalized.

‘Okay, tone it down, Chat Noir.’ Nathanael thought, trying not to roll his eyes.

“Jagged Stone’s music is a million times better than that artificial nonsense!” Marinette said, waving her arms.

“Yeah, XY doesn’t even show up for his own concerts! It’s just a hologram!” Adrien added.

“Oh right, didn’t you guys go to that Jagged concert together?” Nathanael asked innocently.

Adrien and Marinette looked at each other.

“Yeah, it was my first concert.” Adrien said, looking down shyly.

“Remember how there was a tank onstage specifically made for Fang?” Marinette said with a giggle. Adrien’s eyes lit up.

“Oh yeah! And then Jagged wanted Fang to crowd surf but the crocodile was fast asleep. I could see his agent offstage, she looked so relieved!” Adrien said. They both broke into a fit of laughter. Nathanael couldn’t help but smile as he watched them.

“Okay, I’m convinced. I won’t convert.” Nathanael said.

“Good.” They both responded in unison. They looked at each other and smiled.

“Hey dudes.” Nino said, walking with Alya up the steps. Adrien and Nino performed some sort of bro handshake as Alya looked between Marinette and Adrien. Then she moved to Nathanael’s side.

“Not that I’m objecting, but why isn’t Marinette a blushing mess right now? She knows that she’s a few feet from Adrien, right?” She said in a whisper. Nathanael just gave her a proud smile.

“Good job.” She said, holding out her fist. He tapped it with his own. Then they all walked into school together, Alya throwing a casual arm around Nathanael’s shoulders as Nino, Marinette and Adrien talked about video games. He could feel Yishu nuzzling the top of his head.

‘Yeah, today’s going to be great.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on my side blog nobodys-pearls. I'd love to make tumblr friends!


	14. Impression, Sunrise

“Oh what a pretty color.” Rose said as she watched the chemicals inside the beaker change from yellow to blue.

“Um, is it supposed to look like that?” Nathanael asked as it began to bubble. Rose turned to look at him.

“I have no idea.”

Nathanael took a generous step away from the lab table.

“Hey Juleka.” Rose whispered while Ms. Mendeleiev was preoccupied. She was scolding Nino for letting a beaker slip out of his hands. Thankfully Adrien had caught it before it shattered on the floor – apparently he had cat-like reflexes even when he was out of costume.

“What?” Juleka whispered back. She and Lila were working at the lab table across from them, at the back of the class.

“Are we doing this right?” Rose inquired, pointing to her and Nathanael’s beaker. Juleka looked at it for a few seconds and then shrugged.

“No clue, but it looks pretty awesome.” She said with a smile.

“Doesn’t it?” Rose said, smiling back.

As Nathanael watched this exchange, his eyes couldn’t help but drift to Lila. She looked so serious, almost as if she was glaring at the beaker as she slowly poured some unknown chemical into it. Her lips were pouted in concentration – something that inexplicably set Nathanael’s heart aflutter.

She seemed to be back to normal today. The first thing she did when Nathanael walked into Ms. Bustier’s class this morning was tease him about his beanie.

“Now I can’t call you tomato anymore.” She had said, crossing her arms in mock annoyance. “That beanie covers up most of your tomato-y hair.” Although she acted like she was upset, something about her tone was actually quite endearing. It made Nathanael’s insides warm.

However, the image of her walking away from him after the second akuma attack yesterday was branded into his mind. Although she seemed happier today, something was still off. She looked a little lost, tired, empty. Nathanael watched as she gently swirled the chemicals together, the liquid in the beaker slowly adopting a vibrant lilac hue.

Then Lila picked her head up and saw that Nathanael was staring at her. He tried to fight back his blush as they made eye contact. Unsure of what to say, he just gave her a small smile and a wave as he mentally smacked himself in the head.

‘Why do I get so nervous around her all of a sudden?’ Nathanael internally groaned. His heart seemed to know the answer, skipping a beat as she gave him a shy smile back. Lila’s smile was like Tom’s orange frosting or a rainy day in Paris –it was something he knew he would never be able to replicate properly on canvas.

“Young love.” Rose said with a sigh. Nathanael sputtered.

“Wh-hat?”

“You guys make an adorable pair.” She said with a sweet smile.

“Is it really that obvious?” Nathanael groaned, blowing a lock of hair out of his face and glancing at Lila. She was reading off numbers as Juleka took notes.

“It’s the way you look at her.” Rose replied, then giggled as she watched him begin to blush. She got on her tiptoes and lightly tapped him on the nose.

“Now you have my blessing.” She declared. “And Juleka’s blessing too. Right Juleka?” She turned around to face her friend as she said the last part.

“Uh, yeah. Definitely.” Juleka said distractedly as she continued to jot things down in her notebook. Nathanael watched as the beaker in front of her changed from lilac to orange.

“Thanks Juleka.” Nathanael called over, laughing as Juleka just nodded her head, completely unaware of what they were talking about but still supportive. Rose giggled. Then they watched as their beaker changed from blue to green.

“Yeah I don’t think we did this right.” Nathanael said, hoping that their experiment wouldn’t blow up in their faces.

“Maybe we’re making a new scientific discovery?” Rose suggested, not entirely convinced. Then the beaker changed from green to an ugly brown, and the duo slumped their shoulders in defeat.

“Nice going, beanie baby.” Lila called from her table. Nathanael looked up and saw Lila’s smirk.

“I think I liked tomato better.” Nathanael responded with a grin.

“Well you should have thought about that sooner. Now you’ll be beanie baby forever.” She retorted with a playful glint in her eye. Nathanael’s knees suddenly felt weak and his brain struggled to put a coherent sentence together. Juleka and Rose shared a knowing look, Juleka finally realizing what she was agreeing to only a minute earlier. Then there was the sound of glass breaking.

“Alix!” Ms. Mendeleiev said, rushing over to her and Mylene’s lab table.

“Sorry.” Alix said, bending down to pick up the glass.

“No! don’t touch that! You’ll cut yourself.” Ms. Mendeleiev said. “Let me just grab the dustpan and – Did Mr. Lishi borrow it again?” She said in annoyance, realizing that what she was looking for was nowhere to be found. She heaved a sigh. “Okay children, I have to go track down my dust pan and broom, behave yourselves.” She said with a hard look, looking at each of her students. Then she left the class room, mumbling something about Mr. Lishi being a kleptomaniac.

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” Kim said. Nathanael watched as he slipped Alix five Euros.

“I’m not afraid of any of your silly dares.” Alix said with a smug grin. Nathanael made eye contact with Lila and gave her a knowing look. The romantic tension between Alix and Kim was impossible to ignore. She tried to stifle her giggle.

“Ugh, that new girl is _so_ annoying.” A voice said from a few tables away. Lila’s face fell and her cheeks warmed in embarrassment. Nathanael turned to see who was talking - Chloe. He could feel the anger welling up inside of him as he clenched his fists.

 “I mean; she thinks that that red-head loser likes her? He’s too busy making heart eyes at Mari-nerd.” Chloe said with disgust. Nathanael could see the hurt in Lila’s eyes.

‘Does Lila think I still have feelings for Marinette?” Nathanael thought, heart constricting. It wasn’t like that – he and Marinette were _friends_.

“She couldn’t get anyone to like her, even him. She’s just a no-good liar. Nobody likes a liar.” Chloe continued, talking to Sabrina but making sure that the whole class could hear her. Lila looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“Shut up, Chloe. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Marinette said.

“Yeah, why are you being so mean? Haven’t kicked enough puppies today?” Alya said, hand on her hip.

“I’m just telling the truth, unlike some people.” Chloe said, giving Lila a poisonous look. Lila glared back, eyes shining.

“Dude, stop picking on her. She’s cool.” Nino said, standing by his girlfriend’s side.

“Why are you all on her side? We don’t even know her. Her name’s probably not even Lila.”

“Chloe, stop.” Adrien said firmly. Chloe turned towards him.

“You’re the biggest victim here, Adrikins. She cornered you in the library so that she could seduce you.” Chloe said, crossing her arms.

“It wasn’t like that –” Lila began, her voice wavering.

“I even heard that she dangled you off the edge of the Eiffel Tower when she was akumatized.” Chloe interrupted, ignoring Lila.

Adrien opened his mouth and then closed it, looking annoyed and unsure of what to say.

“That wasn’t, I wasn’t –” Adrien struggled to explain. Nathanael watched the smug grin form on Chloe’s face.

“You’re worse than Hawkmoth.” Nathanael said, voice shaking a bit in anger. Chloe turned towards him, slightly shocked. She opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but Nathanael wasn’t finished yet.

“You think that you’re so amazing because your father’s the mayor. You buy the most expensive clothes but no amount of money can hide the fact that you’re a horrible person, and no matter how rich you are, you won’t have any real friends if you don’t change your attitude.” Nathanael said. Chloe scoffed.

“Everybody _loves_ me.” She replied, dramatically flipping her ponytail over her shoulder. Nathanael rolled his eyes.

“I always thought that you were cruel, but now I just pity you. I hope that one day you learn how to grow up.” Nathanael said, venom in his tone. “But until then, stay away from Lila.”

Silence. The class only watched as Nathanael glared daggers at Chloe, who seemed to be at a loss for words. Then Ivan started to clap, slowly and quietly. Soon the others joined in.

“Holy crap.” Kim said, laughing. He seemed impressed. Nathanael looked over at Lila. She gave him an appreciative smile but she still looked shaken. He was about to say something but then Ms. Mendeleiev came back with the dust pan and broom.

“What’s going on in here?” She asked, her accusing gaze hovering over the class. She must have heard the noise from the hallway.

“Nathanael was bullying me!” Chloe said dramatically, pointing in Nathanael’s direction. 

“Nathanael? That’s a theory I don’t find plausible.” Ms. Mendeleiev responded with a scoff.

“It’s true, he said that she was a horrible person.” Sabrina chimed in. Ms. Mendeleiev only raised her eyebrows. It looked like she agreed with Nathanael’s judgment.

“How about we all just settle down and –” She began.

“If you don’t send him to the principal’s office right now I’m calling Daddy.” Chloe said, already whipping out her cell phone. Ms. Mendeleiev shot her a glare.

“I think that you should be careful –”

“Daddy _was_ thinking about taking money out of the science department’s budget.” Chloe began. “Maybe I should tell him that he should fire some science teachers as well.” She said with a smug grin, beginning to dial.

“Stop.” Ms. Mendeleiev said, defeated. Chloe’s eyes flashed with victory.

“Nathanael, go see Principal Damocles.” Their teacher said.

“But, Ms. Mendeleiev –” Marinette began, shocked.

“No ‘buts’ Marinette.” She interrupted. “You will all continue with the lab as I pick up this glass.” Then she turned to Nathanael. “You can go now.”

Nathanael opened his mouth to say something, but realizing that there was no use, he hung his head and left the classroom, making sure to shoot Chloe a poisonous glare from the doorway.

“This isn’t fair.” He huffed, annoyed.

“She is quite mean.” Yishu said, petting his hair. Nathanael was a bit startled, he had almost forgotten that the little fox was there.

“That’s Chloe for you.” He replied with a sigh. They went down the hallway in silence.

“That other girl, Lila, she seems interesting.” Yishu said after a minute. “You like her?”

Nathanael could feel his cheeks heat up. “Yeah, I really do.” He admitted.

Yishu hummed contently. “That makes me happy.”

Nathanael rounded a corner and was approaching the principal’s office. To be honest, he was nervous. He could already imagine his parents’ disappointed faces when they got another call from school. He could feel the shame and guilt grow heavier with each step.

“This sucks.” He grumbled. Then he heard a huge boom and the sound of car alarms. There was a call for Ladybug.

“An akuma?” Nathanael asked no one in particular, a nervous knot in his gut slowly constricting. He knew that this would happen eventually, he just didn't expect it to be so soon. 

“WHERE IS ADRIEN AGRESTE?”

“Yup, either that or one of Adrien’s crazed fans.” Nathanael said with a shaky laugh. He quickly looked down both ends of the hall before he snuck into an empty classroom. He took a deep breath and tried to stop his hands from shaking. 

“Are you ready for this?” Yishu asked, worry in her tone. Nathanael clenched his fists.

“Definitely not, and I'm a little terrified, but I can’t just wait here when I can _do_ something, right?” He replied, taking off his beanie. "Isn't that why I got the miraculous in the first place?" Nathanael continued, thinking back to when he pushed Master Fu out of the way of the flower pot.

Yishu left her perch on his head and floated in front of his face. "We can always watch the fight and jump in if Ladybug and Chat Noir need us." Yishu suggested. "I do not want you to do something that you are uncomfortable with. It will be your first time truly using the miraculous, and neither of us know what powers you shall have. It would be dangerous to proceed if you feel unprepared."

Nathanael thought this through. "Okay, we'll watch at first, get a scope of the situation." He said. Yishu nodded her head in agreement. 

“What do I have to say again?” Nathanael asked, pulling his necklace out from under his shirt. He was too busy falling off of a roof last time to remember all of the specifics.

“Transforme moi.” Yishu said with an encouraging smile. She seemed excited. Nathanael felt a little excited himself. He could be a superhero.

“Okay,” He took a deep breath. “Yishu, transforme moi!” He watched as Yishu became a blur of light as she flew into his miraculous. It was time to see what he could really do.

 


	15. The Scream

“They’re doing just fine without me.” Nathanael observed, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice as he peered over the edge of the roof, watching as Ladybug and Chat Noir fought the akuma that was rampaging through the street. It was a very large, very angry bear. It tore through the block, picking up cars and throwing them at the two heroes. Anyone who got in the akuma’s way was smacked aside. However, Nathanael noticed that the akuma never laid a hand on the children.

Nathanael watched as Ladybug dodged yet another projectile as Chat Noir kept the akuma at a distance with his staff. They were the perfect team – they acted in harmony. Nathanael didn’t understand why he was necessary, what _he_ was meant to do. He was beginning to wonder if Master Fu had made a mistake.

The feeling of uselessness crept up his skin, leaving him jittery and agitated. He wasn’t needed. He was _never_ needed. He tightened his grip on the roof’s edge as embarrassment flared up in his cheeks. Why was he even here? He began to feel silly in his fox costume.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir never lose. They don’t need another superhero. I’ll just mess things up.” Nathanael said, pinpricks of disappointment and doubt pinching his nerves as he turned his back on the fight.

 _‘Nathanael, you were chosen for a reason. You are special. You will bring something new.’_ Yishu said softly in his mind.

Nathanael paused, looking back to watch as Ladybug flew through the air. She was a thing of wonder, illuminating the street with her determined gaze and confident smile. Nathanael sighed. “I really thought that maybe, maybe I _could_ be something more. But I don’t think I belong here, Yishu. I don’t think that I was ever meant to do this.”

Images of his life flashed before his eyes: his rooftop, abandoned canvases, cold laughter. He always felt out of place in the world, and although he was finally beginning to feel a part of it, he didn’t quite know where he was meant to fit. Who was he supposed to be? He wanted to be a hero, to do something great, but what if he wasn’t cut out for it? What if he wasn’t good enough?

Was it arrogant of him to think that he was something special? Marinette and Adrien were good people – kind, selfless, courageous. He was just, Nathanael. Nathanael was average, lonely, broken. Unimportant.

Nathanael groaned in frustration, stepping away from the edge of the roof. “I don’t know what to do! Who am I? Why am I like this?” He yelled, looking up at the blue sky. Hope and doubt were circling around in his head, leaving him confused and lost and disoriented.  

He wanted to be a superhero, he _wanted_ to help. But he also felt like at any moment Master Fu would come back and take Yishu away, that he would wake up in a classroom to find that this was all a dream. He was finding it hard to believe, to have faith.

There were times when he wished he could be anyone else, to escape from who he was. He felt trapped in his own skin. Sometimes when he looked in the mirror he swore he could see prison bars hidden in his irises.

He didn’t like who he was, he didn’t want to be the _way_ that he was. He wanted to be as cool as Nino, or as brave as Alix, or as kind as Mylene, or as smart as Max. There were times he had wished that he was Adrien and could finally catch Marinette’s eye. So many people in the world, and he was unfortunate enough to be himself, to be Nathanael.

 _‘You are my tomato_.’ Yishu said.

“What?” Nathanael asked, looking at his necklace.

 _‘You have soft hair and a kind heart. You go out of your way to help your friends. You know exactly what they need. People care about you. We have not known each other for very long, but I care about you too.’_ Yishu paused for a moment _. ‘Who are you? You are Nathanael, and that is amazing. That is wonderful. That is a gift.’_

Nathanael stood there for a moment, gripping his necklace tight as he glanced back at the street below. “How can you be so sure?” Nathanael whispered, trying to fight off his doubt. He really wanted to believe Yishu, but it was just so hard.

_‘I have lived through centuries. I have seen time stretch out before me and behind me. I have seen evil. I have seen good. I used to think that I had seen everything. But every time I get a new chosen, I am reminded of how little I know. Because Nathanael, for all the life I have seen, all the death, all of the friendships and people and heroes and villains, I have never seen anything like you. Nor will I ever meet someone like you again.’_

Nathanael looked at the Parisian skyline in silence, throat tight as he felt that familiar tingling sensation in his nose and eyes. His whole world blurred together as he fought back tears. He was Nathanael – he was messy and awkward and afraid and a little hopeless, but at the end of the day, he couldn’t imagine being anyone else.

He was totally and completely him, and there was some beauty in that. Each individual was their own anomaly, their very existence an act of rebellion against impossible odds. He was here – in this time, in this place, in this body. This moment, standing on a rooftop in Paris as a battle was being fought below him, breathing in the sweet air as his fox tail swayed in the breeze, it’s something that has never happened before and will never happen again.

He had never felt more acutely aware of his own existence. He didn’t want to waste another moment being filled with doubt. It was _his_ life, and he was going to do the best he could to make it great. To make it good.

“You’re right.” Nathanael said, clenching his fists in determination.

“I am Mama Bear, and I will destroy Adrien Agreste!” Bellowed the akuma from below as it hauled another car at the superhero duo. Nathanael peeked his head over the edge of the roof, analyzing the situation. Adrien was right there, fighting off the akuma’s attack as Chat Noir. But of course the akuma didn’t know what. Nathanael began to worry about what Mama Bear would do when she discovered that Adrien was nowhere to be found.

“Lucky charm!” Ladybug yelled, looking at the object that had just fallen into her hands. From where Nathanael was standing he shouldn’t have been able to make out what it was, but due to his new heightened perception, he could see it clearly. Ladybug was holding a jar of honey in her hands. Nathanael didn’t miss the irony.

He watched as Ladybug furrowed her eyebrows in thought, looking around as she tried to formulate a plan –

“I will not be ignored!” Mama Bear yelled, ripping a street light out of the ground. Energy sparked out of the akuma’s claws and ran up the length of the pole, covering it in a malicious purple hue. Nathanael could feel the magic from here – it felt like anger. His eyes widened in shock as he watched the akuma whip the streetlight through the air. It was heading right for Ladybug.

“Oh no. It’s coming at her too fast. She can’t dodge it!” Nathanael exclaimed, electricity coursing through his muscles. He needed to do something, to warn her, but he was too far away.

“Watch out!” Nathanael yelled, but he knew that it was useless. His hands gripped the roof’s edge in fear as he watched the street light gain momentum. Then a black blur moved in the corner of Nathanael’s vison, pushing Ladybug out of the way and taking the full force of the akuma’s blow.

“Chat!” Ladybug yelled in shock, rushing over to the crumpled heap that had just collided into one of the building’s facades.

“A-Adrien.” Nathanael whispered. Ladybug tried to shake her partner awake, but Chat Noir was unconscious. Worry clawed at Nathanael’s heart. “Stupid cat.” He muttered, voice shaking.

Ladybug got to her feet, anger blazing in her eyes. Mama Bear rose up to her full height, uprooting another street light. The same evil energy began to crawl up the pole, crackling with danger.

He had never seen so much dark power before. He glanced at Chat Noir – at Adrien – as he lay off to the side. He looked so young, so broken. That was his _classmate_. That was his _friend_. He had never seen either of the superheroes get hurt like that. He was waiting for Chat to get up, dust himself off, and crack one of his terrible puns. Because they were invincible, right? Nathanael tried to stop his knees from shaking as the world he knew began to crumble. Maybe Ladybug and Chat Noir _could_ lose.

The akuma roared and swung the street light in a wide arc. Ladybug ducked and rolled out of the way as she held on to her honey jar. Chat Noir was meant to be the distraction, how could Ladybug come up with a plan if no one was there to buy her time?

Then Nathanael heard a sound that almost made his heart shatter. Ladybug let out a gasp of pain, clutching her arm as she watched her lucky charm roll away from her and down the street. She was still standing tall, but Nathanael could see the fear in her eyes. She was alone. So much responsibility for one person to bear. Ladybug looked up at the akuma, frozen in place. She was just a girl.

Panic and fear and anger clawed up Nathanael’s being, making his way to his chest, to his head, to his hands. He couldn’t keep watching. This was too much.

“What am I doing just standing here?” Nathanael asked himself, angry at his own inaction. He leapt off the roof, executing a clumsy roll as he hit the ground. He quickly got to his feet, just in time to see the akuma raising the street light above her head, about to deal Ladybug a deathly blow.

Time began to stand still. He looked at Ladybug’s wide, blue eyes – blue eyes that had become his whole world, blue eyes that symbolized his happiness, his hope. She was still clutching her arm, and Nathanael noticed that there was a black mark, almost like a bruise, spreading across it.

Her yo-yo swayed, hanging limp at her side. He saw the anger in the akuma’s eyes – anger that he knew well. He wondered who the person behind the animal was, and what had caused them so much anguish. He saw Chat Noir’s unmoving form on the other side of the street. The knight was not there to protect his lady. A fox would have to do.

Nathanael bolted across the street, coming in between Ladybug and the akuma. When he had helped Ladybug and Chat Noir during the last two akuma attacks, he had some sort of plan. This time was different. There was no thought, only action. He took all of his emotions: his loneliness, his pain, his confusion, his anger – but also his joy, his hope, his love – and condensed it all within himself until it became an abstract burst of color.

In that moment Hawkmoth’s voice echoed in his mind, repeating the words he had heard only a few days ago: _‘How can you save yourself from your own emotions?’_

This was how. This was the answer. He clenched his fists and let out an inhuman cry. A battalion of happiness and sadness and anger, everything that made him Nathanael, escaped his mouth in a wave of sound, knocking the akuma into the air. As he watched the akuma fall through the sky, landing fifty feet away, he had only one thought: _this_ was his salvation.

Emotions were not meant to be tucked away into a neat corner. They were meant to be experienced; they were meant to be used. Emotions were weapons – Hawkmoth used them for evil, it was time for Nathanael to use them for good.

He felt a breeze as Ladybug brushed by him, grabbing the honey jar as she ran over to the akuma. She poured the honey over Mama Bear’s paws, making sure that she was stuck to the street.

“Now I can finally figure out where that akuma is hiding.” Ladybug muttered to herself, searching through Mama Bear’s thick fur. She finally found a folded up piece of paper tucked under the folds of the akuma’s hair. The paper was thicker than average, almost like canvas, and Nathanael was able to see a splotch of paint in one of the corners before Ladybug ripped it in half. Nathanael’s heart suddenly constricted, though he didn’t fully understand why.

He watched as Ladybug cleansed the akuma and threw her lucky charm into the air. He looked around as the city was covered in a soft pink light, going back to the way it was supposed to be. It was simple, even routine at this point, but still beautiful.

“Who are you?” Ladybug asked, hands on her hips as she walked up to Nathanael. There was suspicion in her gaze.

 _‘Say something.’_ Yishu encouraged after a moment of tense silence. But what was he supposed to say?

“Well, um, I’m the new fox miraculous holder.” Nathanael said lamely, trying and failing to look as heroic as possible. Ladybug’s eyes only narrowed.

“How can I trust you? I’ve dealt with foxes before.” She responded. Nathanael knew that she was talking about Volpina.

Something about her tone of voice bothered him. Maybe it was the way she said “foxes” like it was a curse word. Maybe it was because he felt the need to defend Lila.

“I _did_ just save your spots.” Nathanael pointed out bluntly.

“I guess that’s true.” Ladybug said slowly, still looking unconvinced. Nathanael let out a sigh and stared into those familiar blue eyes.

“You can trust me, Ladybug, I promise. Master Fu gave me my fox miraculous, although I have no clue what I did to deserve it.” Nathanael said, fidgeting with his necklace.

Ladybug’s eyes softened. “I know how you feel.” She said softly. “So what’s your name?”

“Uh, I don’t think I can, I’m not really supposed to –” Nathanael said, stumbling with his words.

“Not your civilian name, your superhero name.” Ladybug said with a giggle. “I need to call you something, right?”

Nathanael furrowed his eyebrows in thought. This was an important decision. He decided to let his kwami choose.

“What do you think, Yishu?” He asked. Ladybug cocked her head in confusion.

“Who’s Yishu?” She asked.

“Oh, she’s the fox kwami.” He answered simply.

“But how can you talk to her while you’re transformed?”

Now it was Nathanael’s turn to be confused. “She can talk to me in my head.”

“Oh.” Ladybug said, talking a slow step back.

“I’m not crazy.” Nathanael blurted out, waving his arms in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner. After a moment he asked, “You can’t talk to _your_ kwami?”

“Not while I’m transformed.”

Nathanael thought about this. He wondered why it was different for him. He also wondered if past fox miraculous holders had the same telepathic connection, or if this was something entirely unique. There were so many questioned still unanswered.

 _‘Renard.’_ Yishu said with certainty.

“What?” Nathanael asked, looking at his necklace. Ladybug looked confused, but she assumed the question wasn’t directed at her and waited patiently.  

_‘That should be your name, Renard.’_

“Renard.” Nathanael said the word aloud. Simple. He liked the way it formed on the tongue.

“It’s got a ring to it.” Nathanael said with a smile. He looked up at Ladybug. “My name is Renard.”

Ladybug grinned and held out her hand. “Welcome to the team, Renard.”

Nathanael reached out to shake her hand. They could both feel the weight of the moment. They were already close friends (something that Ladybug didn’t know yet), yet this new partnership was something different – a new color reflecting off the same glass prism.

“I’m still keeping my eye on you though, I hope you understand.” Ladybug said with a stern gaze.

“I would expect nothing less from one of Paris’ greatest heroes.” Nathanael replied with a grin.

“Did somebody say Paris’ greatest hero?” Chat Noir asked, walking up to the pair a little shakily.

“Chat!” Ladybug exclaimed, throwing her arms around her partner. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“Wow. Who knew that My Lady cared so much.” Chat said, hugging her back. Nathanael could see the slight blush spreading across Chat’s face. Then Chat caught Nathanael staring at him.

“It looks like we have a newbie.” Chat said with a guarded expression. Ladybug pulled out of the hug and looked at Nathanael.

“This is Renard. He says he’s the new fox miraculous holder. And I think that he might be telling the truth.” Ladybug said with a smile.

Chat looked Nathanael up and down. “So who are you? You know, under the mask? Do we know you?” He asked, his eyes flashing like a predator’s. Nathanael realized that this must be his attempt at intimidation.

“You know they say that curiosity killed the cat.” Nathanael answered, cocking an eyebrow.

Chat broke into one of his trademark grins. “I have a good feeling about his guy.” He said, putting a casual arm around Ladybug’s shoulders. She simply rolled her eyes and moved his arm back where it belonged.

“Nathanael. I just want to see my son.” The superheroes heard the shaky voice of a woman. Nathanael turned and felt his stomach drop. Sitting in the middle of the street was his mother, quietly crying as she held a familiar piece of paper. Suddenly he remembered. It was a drawing that he gave her when he was a kid. It was a mess of paint and crayon, but in the tangle of scribbles was meant to be a picture of their family. He had no idea that she kept it.

“Mo-miss?” Nathanael asked, the word ‘mom’ dying in his mouth as he remembered that he wasn’t Nathanael right now. He was Renard.

“I just need to see my son.” She said helplessly. Slowly, almost as if she were miles away, Nathanael made his way to his mother’s side. He knelt beside her, looking at his drawing more closely. He could make out the three smiling faces, one purple, one blue, one red – his family. He began to reach out and touch the paper, but quickly pulled his hand back.

He looked up at Ladybug and Chat Noir, who approached him and his mother.

“We can take you home, ma’am.” Chat Noir said softly.

“And we can find your son and bring him to you.” Ladybug added, her voice quiet. They could all feel the seriousness of the moment.

Nathanael desperately wanted to hold his mother, to ask her what was wrong, but he couldn’t – not here, not now. All he could do was watch as his mother gripped his drawing tight in her hands and fought back her tears. Hawkmoth had already taken so much from him, he had to possess his mother too? There was a weight on his chest, making it hard to breathe. Was this what it meant to be a superhero? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lesson of this chapter is that when faced with an enemy, simply yell in their face. Will work 9/10 times, fox guarantee. ;D Thank you all for your comments and support!!


	16. Innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long, it's been quite an eventful week! I hope you guys like this chapter, and I love hearing what you guys think in the comments! Fox out! :D

“Nathanael, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Nathanael’s mother whispered to herself, shutting her eyes tightly.

Nathanael continued to stare at his mom. He kept opening his mouth, wanting to say something, but no sound came out. He had never seen his mother like this. So broken. He didn’t know what to do.

For some reason a stray memory wandered into his mind. It was an old memory, one fuzzy and soft with youth. It was the night that his father taught him the art of love.

“If I were to stare at one painting for the rest of my life, it would be one that captures her smile, her eyes.” His father began in a soft voice. “Falling in love with your mother caused me to fall in love with the world. I began to hear her laugh and smell her perfume in every nook of my life. The world filled with color, and I began to see layers of reds and yellows and blues that I never knew existed. You see, Nathanael, the world began to look so beautiful to me because she _became_ my world. That’s what true art can do.”

His father used to whisper stories like these to Nathanael on cool Parisian nights, and Nathanael would stare up at his father through half-lidded eyes, watching the small smile grow on his stubbly chin as he looked off into the distance. He had no idea what his father was talking about, but Nathanael was content to simply listen as he snuggled under his covers.

His mother and father were artists, but even more importantly they were lovers – driven by their emotions. They met when they were nineteen and married when they were twenty. Then Nathanael came only ten months later. In a way, the three of them grew up together.

Nathanael always noticed that his classmates’ parents were older, more mature, but it never bothered him. To him, his parents were the best parents in the world – and they were also his closest friends. They would bring him to art museums, sing him songs, take him on spontaneous strolls down the Seine. They were full of laughter and hope and joy. They were his heroes. Then one day they decided to grow up without him.

His father got the job at the Louvre and his mother began working for Gabriel Agreste. He was alone. But even then his parents seemed to have a shining light around them. They were successful, they were focused, they were unshakeable.

But as his mother’s quiet sobs echoed through is bones, that perfect image came crashing down. Until this moment, he had never fully realized how young she was.

“I’ll go find your son.” Ladybug said, turning towards the school. That brought Nathanael back to reality.

“No! I mean, uh, yeah, I’ll just go, then. Fox business and what not.” Nathanael said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chat Noir asked, head cocked to one side. Both Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at him suspiciously.

“I-I, uh, wouldn’t want to let the cat out of the bag, right Chat?” Nathanael blurted out, glancing at Ladybug and then running away. He quickly ducked into an alley.

“Ugh, why did I use such a lame joke?” Nathanael groaned, leaning against the side of a building. “That wasn’t exactly a heroic exit.” He said to himself, cringing. Then he slowly peeked his head out from the alley and watched as Ladybug shrugged and headed for the school building.

_‘So that is your mother?’_

Nathanael sighed and slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground. “Yeah. That was her.” He replied. He could hear Yishu’s contemplative hum.

_‘She was upset. Why?’_

“I wish I knew.” Nathanael admitted. “I _hate_ Hawkmoth!” He added, slamming a fist against the ground.

_‘Listen.’_ Yishu said.

“What?” Nathanael asked, confused.

_‘You want to know what happened to your mother. Listen!’_ She explained.

Nathanael thought about that for a moment and then peeked his head out from the alley once more. He could see that Chat Noir had bent down to comfort his mother. She seemed to be telling him something.

“I can’t hear anything. I’m too far away.”

_‘Tap into your powers, Nathanael. Open your ears.’_

He was skeptical, but after everything he had already been through, he decided to take Yishu's advice. He took a deep breath and listened. He could hear the gentle breeze, the distant sound of cars, the pitter-patter of dripping water. Normal, everyday noises. His ears strained to hear more. Then suddenly he could hear _everything_. Passing conversations, creaking doors, hurried footsteps, barking dogs, an arguing couple. It was too much. He squeezed his eyes in pain.

_‘You have to filter out the extra noise. Focus on your mother’s voice.’_ Yishu instructed.

Nathanael did what he was told and thought about his mother’s voice – it was a light, musical sound like leaves rustling through a forest. Then he began to reach out towards it, almost as if his ears could grasp its sound.

“ – better now.” There it was. He kept listening. His mother let out a sigh.

“I’ve never been akumatized before. I feel violated.” She paused. “Has it ever happened to you?”

“No ma’am, thankfully not.” Nathanael could hear Chat Noir’s voice.

“It’s horrible.” His mother responded with a tired laugh. Then there was silence for a moment.

“Ma’am? If it’s okay, I just – may I ask why you were akumatized?” Chat Noir said slowly, sounding more like his civilian self than his cocky, pun-loving alter ego.

“I was fired today.” She said frankly. Nathanael’s eyes widened, but he kept listening, not wanting to break focus.

“My son – my husband and I have been neglecting him." She began slowly. "He’s been alone in an empty house for a while now. I never realized what I was putting him through. He finally had to tell me. _Me_ , his mother. He shouldn’t have needed to tell me. It’s just,” she sighed, “we need the money. My husband and I have been pretty much on our own financially since we eloped together. But my job has blinded me to from what’s important. Nathanael. He’s my whole world.” His mother took a shuddering breath.

“I thought that I could go to my boss and ask to use my vacation days, then I could finally spend some time with my son. But, he – he yelled at me. We’re getting ready for a summer fashion show, so he said that he couldn’t possibly let one of his workers go on vacation. I pleaded with him, told him about my son, told him that his son was one of Nathanael’s classmates – I tried everything I could. But he refused.” Nathanael could hear his mother let out a quiet sob.

“I just got so angry. All I wanted was to be with my son. I started to yell at him. I said that he was cold. I asked him if he understood what it meant to be a parent. That must have struck a nerve, because he fired me.” She paused. “I suddenly felt numb. I left his office, and the next thing I know, I’m here.”

After a moment his mother let out a somewhat hysterical laugh. “I guess that in the end I got the time off that I wanted.” She held her head in her hands. “But I really needed that job. Now I don’t know what to do. What am I going to say to my family?” Nathanael could hear the despair in her voice. He felt a heavy weight on his heart.

“Who’s your boss?” Chat Noir asked. Nathanael could hear a slight waver in his voice.

“Oh no.” Nathanael whispered to himself, putting the pieces together. ‘Summer fashion show?’ ‘son was one of Nathanael’s classmates?’ – Adrien had figured it out.

“Gabriel Agreste.” His mother said. The two words seemed to hang in the air. Nathanael could almost feel Chat Noir’s shoulders tense.

“I couldn’t find him!” Ladybug called as she came from on the school exits and walked up to the pair.

“That’s my cue.” Nathanael said, not wanting anyone to get worried about him – or suspicious. “Um, can I go back to normal, please?” He asked Yishu.

_‘Of course.’_

He was covered in a soft yellow light and soon he was back in his civilian clothes. He tucked his miraculous back under his shirt as Yishu floated in front of him.

“I promise that I’ll think of some better catch phrases.” Nathanael said with a slight grin.

“Good. Not only are foxes supposed to be known for cleverness, but for style. I have a reputation to uphold.” Yishu teased. After a beat she smiled and said, “You did a good job today.”

“We both did.” Nathanael replied. He could still feel some of the adrenaline from being a superhero. It was all so new and exciting and miraculous - he never wanted the feeling to end. He was finally a _hero_. He bounced a little on the balls of his feet as he lifted up a side of his beanie for Yishu to fly through. He felt the little fox snuggle into his hair as she got into a comfortable position.

“I have missed you.” Yishu said, beginning to stroke Nathanael’s hair. Nathanael snorted as he adjusted his beanie. Shortly after he left the alley and snuck into one of the entrances to the school. Then he hurried through the hall and burst through the exit that Ladybug had come out of only moments before.

“Mom!” He yelled, rushing to her side. He wrapped his arms around her.

“Nathanael, where were you? I looked everywhere!” Ladybug said. Chat Noir’s ears perked up when he heard Ladybug call Nathanael by his first name. He seemed puzzled by the familiarity in her tone.

“Uh, Principal Damocles sent me on an errand. To, the, uh, school basement.”

Ladybug furrowed her eyebrows in thought as Nathanael prayed that their school actually had a basement. Then her miraculous beeped. He was saved.

“I have to go.” She said regretfully, looking between Nathanael and Chat Noir.

“But I think that you’re in good hands.” She said to his mother, smiling. Then she threw her yo-yo towards a nearby building and flew through the air. Soon she was only a blur.

“I should go too. I think I need a cat nap after that fight.” Chat Noir admitted with a tired smile.

“Thank you for everything, Chat Noir. It can’t be easy listening to an old woman complain.” Nathanael’s mother said with a quiet chuckle.

“Just doing my job, ma’am.” He said with a salute. Nathanael could tell that something was bothering him, but the cat was gone before Nathanael could say anything. He decided to push Chat Noir out of his mind - he needed to focus on his mother.

“Mom, are you okay? I heard that you were akumatized!” Nathanael said, checking his mother for injuries. He remembered watching as Mama Bear flew through the air before she hit the ground – hard. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. Thankfully there were no cuts or bruises in sight – Ladybug’s magic really was miraculous.

“Yes, sweetie. I was. But everything’s okay now.” She said. She looked drained.

“Come on, Mom. Let’s go home. I can pick up some pastries from the Dupain-Cheng bakery and we can have a movie night. Like old times.” Nathanael said, helping his mother to his feet.

“Okay.” She said softly, cupping her son’s cheek. Then a pained expression passed over her face. “But first, I need to tell you something. I talked to –”

“Class! Class!” Ms. Bustier yelled, chasing after Nathanael’s classmates as they rushed to his side.

“Nathanael, are you okay?”

“Where have you been?”

“Did you see that new hero?”

His classmates pelted him with questions.

“Guys, give him some space.” Marinette said, pushing them back. She gave Nathanael a small smile, but he could see the concern in her eyes.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Nathanael asked.

“Well, we were watching the akuma attack from Ms. Bustier's window. Thankfully, I was here to film _this_ one.” Alya began, sticking her tongue out at Nino. He simply rolled his eyes and smiled.

“And then after the fight I recognized your mom.” Alix chimed in.

“And then Ladybug came into the classroom and said that she was looking for you!” Rose exclaimed, waving her arms dramatically.

“But since you were sent to the principal’s office, no one knew where you were!” Mylene added.

“Oh, I was, in the basement.” Nathanael said, refusing to look directly into anyone’s eyes.

“Just as I suspected.” Max stated, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “You were on an errand for Principal Damocles, I presume?” He asked.

“Uh, yeah. Exactly.” Nathanael replied, relieved.

“You’re like some sort of psychic, Max!” Kim said, putting a casual arm around his best friend’s shoulder.

“No magic, Kim, just logic.” Max said. Nathanael could tell that Max was fighting back a blush.

“Anyway, we decided to look for you, and that’s when my bro Adrien saw that you were out here.” Nino said. Adrien looked down shyly. Nathanael fought back his smirk.

“How observant of him.” Nathanael mumbled to himself.

“So we all decided to come out here and see if you’re okay.” Juleka said. Ivan simply nodded his head in confirmation.

“Wow. Thanks, you guys. I’m fine. Really. I think that my mom and I are just going to go home. Would that be okay, Ms. Bustier?” Nathanael asked.

She gave him a warm smile. “Of course. Make sure your mother gets home safely.”

Nathanael couldn’t help but grin as he looked at his classmates. Even Lila was there –although she was quietly standing off to the side, apart from the rest of the group. Nathanael quickly realized that Chloe and Sabrina were the only ones missing – but he wasn’t surprised.

These people cared about him, went looking for him. They wanted to know that he was alright. These people were really his friends. He was no longer alone, sitting at the empty desk at the back of the class. These people were his _friends_. He could feel that warm flame crackling inside of him.

“Okay, children. This has been enough excitement for today. Time to get back to class and let Nathanael take his mother home.” Ms. Bustier said. They all said goodbye to Nathanael. Kim ruffled his hair, Alya gave him a fist bump, and Rose gave him a bone-crushing hug.

“Good news, I managed not to blow anything up after you left!” Rose said with a wide smile. Nathanael broke into a grin.

“Only thanks to me.” Juleka added as she walked towards the building, making sure to give Nathanael a wave before she left.

“Hi, Mrs. Kurtzberg! If you guys need anything, make sure to call my dad, okay? He’ll be happy to help.” Alix said to Nathanael’s mother.

“Thanks Speedy, we’ll make sure to let him know.” His mother said with a smile. She always loved Alix.

At this point most of the students had headed back into the school. He tried not to be too disappointed that he didn’t get the chance to talk to Lila, but she _did_ give him a small smile before she went back to class. That was enough to make his heart flutter. Only two people were left: Marinette and Adrien.

Marinette walked up to Nathanael and gave him a tight hug. After a moment she pulled away and said, “Let’s hang out this weekend, okay?”

“Definitely.” Nathanael replied, matching her warm smile with a grin of his own. Then she made her way back into the school.

Adrien stepped forward, a little self-consciously. Nathanael noticed that his cell phone was in his hand. 

“Hello." Adrien said.

“Mom, this is –” Nathanael began.

“Gabriel Agreste’s son.” His mother interrupted quietly. The mood suddenly changed. Then she turned to face Nathanael.

“I have to tell you, I –”

“Speaking of my father,” Adrien said, his turn to interrupt, “I was just on the phone with him. He wanted me to tell you that he expects you to be back in the office a week from now.”

Nathanael watched as his mother had a puzzled look on her face, then her eyes widened in understanding.

“Yes. I-I completely understand.” Nathanael’s mother said quickly. Her expression shifted between shock and relief.

Adrien smiled. “I should probably head back to class now, before I get The Look. It was nice meeting you, ma’am.” Then he faced Nathanael. “Oh, and Nathanael, let’s hang out this weekend.” Adrien said, giving both him and his mother one last smile before he headed for the school door.  

Nathanael was shocked. Adrien somehow managed to convince his father to give Nathanael’s mother her job back? _And_ she gets a week’s vacation? He wondered how Adrien did it, but he couldn’t exactly ask him about it. Nathanael wasn’t supposed to know that his mom was fired. For now it was just another secret he would have to keep. All he knew for sure was that he owed Adrien big time.

As he and his mother walked to their house, he began smile to himself as he thought about his amazing classmates. Then he realized something – both Marinette and Adrien wanted to hang out this weekend. He suppressed an evil laugh as the gears began to turn in his head. This was how he could repay the alley cat.

“You have some very thoughtful friends.” His mother observed. Nathanael glanced at his mom - she looked better ever since Adrien gave her the good news. The color was returning to her face. 

“I really do.” Nathanael said simply, smiling as he watched a lazy cloud drift through the endless blue sky.


	17. Café Terrance at Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I took the new patronus quiz and found out that my patronus is a fox. That made me laugh. Anyway, I hope you like the chapter, and bonus points to anyone who can figure out what movie I'm referencing! ;D

“…we all have a lot in common, and the more we try to understand one another, the more exceptional each of us will be. But we have to try. So no matter what type of animal you are, from the biggest elephant, to our first fox. I implore you. Try. Try to make the world a better place.”

Nathanael reached for another macaroon.

“This movie gets me every time.” He said with a sniffle as the closing song began.

Nathanael looked over at his mom, who was curled up on the other side of the couch. He smiled as he listened to her quiet snores. Her face looked almost childlike. He turned off the television and quietly got up from the couch. Then he padded over to his room and grabbed a spare blanket.

“That fox only wanted to be a boy scout.” Yishu said softly, leaving the warmth of Nathanael's beanie. He gave her a sympathetic scratch behind the ear. Then he slowly walked back to the couch and gently covered his mother in his blanket. He watched as she snuggled her face into its soft material.  

His father was already asleep in his parents’ bedroom. He had arrived from work just as they were about to start another movie. At that point it was already getting late, but his mother insisted that she wasn’t tired. Then she let out a yawn and Nathanael and his father shared an unconvinced look. However, his mother was known for her stubbornness, so she refused to budge. Eventually Nathanael gave in and started the movie.

Nathanael took off his beanie, ran a hand through his hair, and checked the clock. It was 11pm. He considered going to sleep himself, but he just wasn’t tired. Actually he felt more awake than usual.

“Foxes are known to be nocturnal, so your sleeping pattern will need some time to adjust to the miraculous’ influence. You might find yourself staying up later than usual.” Yishu said, floating to rest on top of Nathanael's head. 

“Did you just read my mind?” Nathanael whispered.

“No, but it is not hard for me to sense people’s emotions, especially the emotions of my chosen.” Yishu said simply, braiding a strand of Nathanael’s hair. She had been braiding and unbraiding his hair from under his beanie all throughout the movie – at this point his hair was starting to develop waves.

Nathanael walked over to the closest window. The street was cloaked in darkness, little orbs of light scattered along the ebony black. He quietly cracked open the window. He could feel a slight breeze tickle his face. He suddenly felt the desire to run.

“What am I thinking right now?” Nathanael whispered, still looking out into the night. Yishu smiled and slowly lifted his necklace out from underneath his shirt.

“Just say the word.”

Nathanael looked at Yishu and grinned, his whole body tingling with anticipation. Then he glanced back at his mother. He could just make out her soft breathing.

“Yishu,” he whispered, “Transforme moi!”

A yellow light illuminated the room, and when it faded away, he was Renard. He lifted up the window and crawled through the opening. Then he jumped and landed lightly on the sidewalk. He was alone in the darkness – the night was his.

He bounded down the street with the grace of a fox, chasing the moon. Every inhale of breath made him feel more and more alive. He wanted to go faster. He began to sprint through the city, lungs burning and muscles straining. He could feel the wind tangle his long hair. Freedom and joy bubbled up inside of him until it could be contained no longer. He closed his eyes and let out a victorious yell. He was Nathanael. He was Renard. He was alive. There was no better feeling.

Then he opened his eyes and stopped abruptly. In front of him stood the Notre Dame. It was swathed in a pale glow as it stood sentinel, watching over the city. Its intricate architecture set Nathanael’s heart aflame.

_‘I was here seventy-two years ago. It is still so beautiful.’_ Yishu said, amazed. Nathanael began to wonder how she was able to see what Nathanael saw, were they looking through the same eyes? There was something magical about that, having a boy and an ancient being seeing the world through the same lens, experiencing life together.

“People have created some pretty terrible things,” Nathanael began, imagining a war-torn Paris, “But we’ve also made some pretty wonderful things as well.” Yishu hummed in agreement.

They stood like that for a while, staring up at the Notre Dame, then Nathanael heard Yishu’s soft voice in his head, _‘August 25 th, 1944.’_

“What?”

_‘It was the day that Paris was liberated. But for us it was the day we were captured.’_

“Oh.” Nathanael said quietly, holding his miraculous in his fist.

_‘I told you that I was in that box for seventy years, but in reality I was in there even longer – seventy-two years to be exact.’_ Nathanael could hear Yishu’s sigh. _‘She always loved the Notre Dame. Even during the war, it kept standing, watching over Paris. She said that it was what she strived to be – a symbol of hope, of strength.’_

“Let’s go to the top.” Nathanael said.

_‘What?’_

“Ladybug and Chat Noir are able to get around Paris.” Nathanael pointed out. “I must have something that will help me move around, right?”

_‘Well, I am not sure. You_ are _supposed to have a weapon.’_

“Then how do I get it?” Nathanael asked. Yishu hummed in thought.

_‘I do not know for certain. Some chosen have it the first time they transform. Other times the weapon has manifested itself after hours of meditation. There have even been times when the chosen never discovers their weapon.’_

Nathanael slumped his shoulders. “Great. Nothing about this superhero business is going to be easy, is it?”

Yishu laughed. _‘I am afraid not.’_

Nathanael sighed and blew a lock of hair out of his face. Then he realized something. “What about when I yelled in Mama Bear’s face, or the fact that I can hear you in my head? Does every chosen have those powers?”

_‘No. Not every one. As I said before it all depends on the heart of the user. The fox cry is based on emotions. It can only be used when the chosen taps into both their fury and their fear. My last chosen could also use the fox cry. The telepathic link, however, is rare. It only occurs when the chosen has a flexible mind. They need to be open to the outside world. She was too stubborn for the telepathic link to work.’_

“Woah.” Nathanael said, wondering what other powers could be unlocked.

_‘You are the first chosen in a while to be able to use the telepathic link. It must be the artist in you.’_

“I haven’t made art in a while.” Nathanael said quietly.

_‘Oh, but one cannot erase a part of their identity so easily. It is still in you, waiting.’_ Yishu replied.

Nathanael titled his head back and looked at the very top of the Notre Dame. He wanted to be up there, to see his city in all its glory. Yishu was right, he was still an artist, and he wanted to see the masterpiece that the night had to offer. He didn’t want a weapon. He thought about his many memories of watching Ladybug swinging through the air – he wanted to fly.

Suddenly a bright orb of light manifested in front of him. He raised his arms to cover his eyes.

_‘Oh! Your weapon is appearing. This is so exciting! I hope it is a sword! I have not seen a sword in centuries!’_ Yishu said.

After a moment the light dimmed. Nathanael slowly opened his eyes and looked at the object that was floating in the air in front of him.

There were four prongs that curved out from one short rod. Each prong looked liked his miraculous - curved pieces of metal that were orange at the base and white at the tips. On the dark orange metal rod that connected them was a handle and a trigger.

“It’s a grappling hook.” Nathanael said in amazement.

_‘I have never had a chosen who had a grappling hook! Very good for stealth, though I do not see how this will help in combat.’_ Yishu pondered.

“My fox cry will be enough. This is perfect.” Nathanael replied, a smile forming on his face. He glanced back towards the roof of the Notre Dame.

“Let’s test it out, shall we?”

_‘This might be the time to let you know that I am terribly afraid of heights.’_ Yishu admitted.

“Really?” Nathanael said, trying not to sound too disappointed.

_‘I am just kidding! Let us show Paris that even a fox can fly!’_ Yishu said joyfully.

Nathanael laughed and grabbed the grappling hook. Then he aimed it towards the roof of the Notre Dame. With his foxlike vision he could see the perfect crevice in which his grappling hook could take hold. With a steady hand he pulled the trigger and watch the grappling hook fly. It soared through the air and landed right where Nathanael wanted it to be.

“I can’t believe I did it on the first try.” Nathanael said, giving the rope a gentle tug to make sure that it was secure.

_‘Miraculous objects are like that – so you might have gotten a little magical assistance.’_ Yishu stated. At first Nathanael was a little disappointed. He thought that he had finally developed a sense of hand-eye coordination. However, he was comforted in knowing that he couldn’t miss.

“Are you ready, Yishu?” Nathanael asked with a grin.

_‘Absolutely.’_

With that, Nathanael yanked on the grappling hook and was propelled into the air. He gasped as he flew through the night sky, and then his gasp bubbled into laughter. Then his laugher changed to terror when he realized that he was heading for the façade of the Notre Dame – and fast.

“AHHHHH!”

_‘Just use your momentum to land on the roof!’_ Yishu said quickly. Nathanael just continued to scream.

_‘Swing your legs in front of you, and then use your arms to propel yourself high into the air!’_ Yishu said more urgently.

Nathanael was terrified, but he listened to Yishu and swung his body in the air. He arched over the front of the cathedral and landed clumsily on top of the left tower. He stumbled and almost fell off the edge, but managed to balance himself just in time.

Nathanael took deep breaths as he heard his heart pounding in his chest. Then he reached down and pulled his grappling hook out of the notch it was attached to. He was looked at his feet, double-checking that they were indeed on solid ground.

“That was crazy!” Nathanael said with a hysterical laugh, putting his hand on his forehead. Once his heart calmed to an acceptable rate, he picked his head up. The sight immediately took his breath away.

He could see the Seine running through the city, pinpricks of light dotting the streets, people talking and laughing in cafes, as if they didn’t notice that the rest of Paris had gone to sleep. He could see the moon up above, so close that if he only reached his hand to the night sky, he could touch it.

He could only watch in amazement as he took in his whole world. It was beautiful, it was bright, it was art. It was Paris. He sighed happily as he sat down, perfectly content with watching the hours pass below him.

“What do you think Yishu?” He asked, fiddling with his miraculous. There was only silence.

“Yishu?” Nathanael said, concern in his voice.

_‘It is – it is - I just – the words are failing me right now.’_ Yishu said in wonder.

“I know what you mean.”

_‘I think that Alice would have liked this.’_ Yishu added. Nathanael was confused for a moment, and then realized that she was talking about her last chosen. Alice.

“I think she would have.” Nathanael agreed.

The duo stayed like that for a while, watching the nightlife. They began to make up stories for each person, guessing who they were and where they were going.

“Those two are childhood friends who are secretly in love with each other. The guy is planning on confessing tonight before the girl moves to America.” Nathanael said with a smile, watching the couple take a stroll down the Seine.

_‘And that woman over there is a rich widow who just got away with murdering her husband.’_ Yishu commented. Nathanael saw a woman wearing an expensive fur coat sitting alone at a café. He guessed that she was who Yishu was referring to. She _did_ have a certain shiftiness about her.

Nathanael laughed. “That’s a little morbid.”

_‘Oh. Oops. I guess I have gotten a little too into this strange game. It is fun, wondering who these people are.’_

“Yeah, I suppose you become a part of their lives for a moment.” Nathanael admitted. Then he looked around for his next story.

“Ooh. This girl is on an adventure, and is recording her findings in her little notebook.” Nathanael said, pointing to a girl about his age. She was indeed scribbling things down in her notebook, using her phone as a flashlight.”

_‘Nathanael, a man is following her.’_ Yishu said.

“Okay, I think you might have a twisted imagination, Yishu.”

_‘No, this is not a part of the game. There really is a man following her.’_

Nathanael’s eyes widened as he saw a dark figure only a block behind the girl, going in the same direction. He could feel a weight on his chest.

“We have to help her.” Nathanael said, quickly getting to his feet - the man was moving faster.

_‘Let us hurry.’_ Yishu said, worry in her voice.

Nathanael picked up his grappling hook and aimed at the building closest to the girl. Thankfully she wasn’t too far away. Then he pulled the trigger and watched the hook catch on the roof’s ledge. He gave a quick tug and flew threw the air. He swung his body forward and landed on the roof. Then he quickly hopped down to the street, landing lightly on his feet right behind the girl.

“Excuse me, miss, but there is a man following you.” Nathanael said, watching the girl stop in her tracks. She didn’t turn around, but he could tell that her shoulders were tense. She seemed afraid.

“I know.” She said, her voice wavering.

“Can I get you out of here?” Nathanael asked, taking a step towards the girl. It was a little hard to see her in the dark, but with his foxlike vision he was able to see her nod her head. He approached her slowly, sparing a glance behind him. He could see the shadow peeking out from an alley, watching.  

“Okay, hold on tight.” He said, wrapping an arm around her waist. He aimed his grappling hook for a nearby rooftop, and once he felt her arms around his neck, he pulled the trigger. He could hear her startled gasp as they cut threw the sky. Now getting the hang of it, he managed to safely get the both of them onto the roof.

As he went to pick his hook out from the ledge, he heard the girl’s quiet voice.

“So you’re the new fox superhero.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He said, shrugging. He looked out onto the street. The watched the shadow walk in the other direction. He had given up. Nathanael let out a sigh of relief.

“And that necklace is your miraculous.” The girl stated.

Nathanael hesitated, looking out at the Seine. “You seem to be very interested. Are you a fan?” He asked with a lame chuckle, avoiding the question.

“No. It’s just that _I_ was the famous fox in Paris before you came along.” She said firmly. Nathanael’s eyes widened. He slowly turned around. Long brown hair, green eyes, an Italian complexion, and an expression he couldn’t read.

“L-Lila?” He stuttered.


	18. He Gave Me the Brightest Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So gerryiscool did fanart for this fic and I'm over the moon about it! I just wanted to thank you all for the art, comments, and support. I'm so happy to be sharing this story with you!! I hope you enjoy this chapter! ;D

“L-Lila?” He stuttered. He looked at her with wide eyes and watched as Lila narrowed her own.

“How do you know my name?” She asked, crossing her arms.

Nathanael turned away from her, looking back at the Parisian skyline. He wasn’t prepared for this. Of all the girls he could have saved, it just _had_ to be Lila.

“You were on the news a week ago. You were akumatized, right?” Nathanael asked, eyes trained on the horizon. There was silence for a moment. Nathanael glanced back at Lila. She looked just as uncomfortable as he felt.

“Yes.” She finally stated. “I was Volpina. I pretended to be the new fox superhero.” She walked towards him, stopping to stand at his side. Together they looked down on the city.

“I didn’t know that Paris already had one.” She added. Nathanael noticed her slump her shoulders a fraction.

“You sound disappointed. Not impressed?” Nathanael said, attempting a grin. He began to feel disappointed himself – he had hoped that Lila would be amazed by Renard. Renard was powerful - he had defeated Mama Bear earlier that day. If _that_ didn’t impress Lila, how could plain old Nathanael stand a chance?

“It’s not that.” Lila said with a sigh. “I just thought, maybe –” She groaned, putting a hand on her forehead. “Nevermind, it’s stupid.”

Nathanael grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes. She stared back at him, surprised. He fought back his blush as he could feel her warm hand in his. “Nothing you say could ever sound stupid.” He said quietly.

Her mouth parted in shock. His eyes drifted down towards her lips. He could almost feel her breath – they were so close. He suddenly felt the urge to run his hands through her hair –

But no, he wasn’t Nathanael right now, he was Renard. She didn’t even know him, not like this. He let go of her hand and looked back at the skyline. “I-I mean, you can tell me. You should never feel like your emotions are stupid. It’s not good to push them aside. So, I’d want you to tell me. That is, only if you feel comfortable.”

He could feel her gaze on him, but he refused to look back. It was dangerous to get lost in those green eyes right now. Eventually she turned to face the city once more and Nathanael felt a wave of relief.

“I thought that maybe, maybe I _could_ be the fox superhero.” She began, tugging at a lock of her hair. “The rush I felt being Volpina, it was amazing. I hoped that maybe I could be special again, but this time it would be for real. This time instead of playing superhero, I could actually be one.” She sighed. “It’s dumb. I was a villain. You can’t come back from that.”

“I was akumatized too, you know.” Nathanael said, risking a glance. She looked at him with wide eyes. “Twice, actually.” He added. Then he cringed, he hoped he wasn’t giving away too much information about his civilian self.

“Really?” She asked, not convinced.

“I’ve been embarrassed, lonely, heartbroken, lost. I know what it’s like to be controlled by Hawkmoth.” He looked up at the sky and watched the stars flicker.

“We aren’t the villains, Lila. Hawkmoth is. We shouldn’t be punished for being sad or angry all of the time. It’s better to confront it, understand it, and then let it go.” Lila pondered that for a moment.

“You’re very wise aren’t you?” Lila said, Nathanael didn’t even have to look at her to know that she was smirking. “How do I know that you aren’t tricking me? Foxes are known to be cunning.”

“Not this fox. Things have just become clearer to me recently. Maybe I’m just growing up.” Nathanael said with a soft chuckle.

“You remind me of someone.” Lila replied after a moment.

“Oh?”

“A boy in my class. He always seems to see things that others can’t. He notices every detail.” She began.

“Interesting kid.” Nathanael said cautiously.

“Interesting isn’t the right word. He’s…sincere. He makes me believe that I can be better. He makes me _want_ to be better. I wouldn’t say it to his face, but the silly tomato has grown on me.” She said with a laugh.

‘Tomato'. Nathanael could feel the blush flaring up in his cheeks. He hoped that it was too dark for Lila to notice.

Lila let out another short laugh. “I don’t really know why I’m telling you all this. I should resent you, you’re the hero I wanted to be.”

Nathanael turned to look at her. He could see the conflict in her eyes as she stared at the Notre Dame. Then she glanced at him and smiled.

“I guess you’re just easy to talk to. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re wearing a disguise, or that you’re a stranger. It’s easier to be honest with a symbol.” She said, gently touching Nathanael’s miraculous.

Lila was right – Nathanael was a symbol now. He could feel the weight of responsibility settle on his shoulders. He had to be smart, cautious. He coughed and took a step away from Lila, looking over the edge of the roof and down at the street. “I should take you home.”

“I don’t live that far away; I can make it on my own.” Lila replied.

“Please, let me walk you home.” Nathanael said firmly. He didn’t feel comfortable with leaving Lila to walk in the dark all alone. Especially after watching that shadowy figure following her.

Lila looked like she suddenly remembered the figure as well. She glanced back at the dark alley he was watching them from earlier. Then she faced Nathanael.

“Okay. I’ve never had a superhero escort before.” Lila said playfully.

“First time for everything. Now, put your arms around me.” Nathanael said.

“Wh-what?” Lila choked out. Nathanael could almost swear he could see a blush forming on her cheeks, but it was too dark to know for sure.

“I have to get us down somehow, right?” Nathanael said, holding up his grappling hook. Lila nodded in understanding, looking relieved. Nathanael didn’t know how to feel about that. He wanted her to like Renard, but he also wanted her to like Nathanael. Would it be unfair if he wanted her to fall for both?

Then he thought about the love square. Marinette and Adrien cared deeply about each other, but because of their secret identities they didn’t know that. He didn’t want his own mask to complicate things with him and Lila. But, standing under to moon, with the Notre Dame and the Seine in the distance, the night had an undeniable romance about it. As Renard he could literally swoop Lila off her feet with his grappling hook. As Nathanael he could only stutter and pine.

He shook the thoughts away. “Okay, now put your arms around my neck.” He instructed. Lila was unsure, but she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him. He kept his eyes on the street below, trying to ignore the close proximity. He hoped she couldn’t felt his heart pounding in his chest. He suddenly felt very warm.

He remembered what Alya had told him: ‘focus on that feeling, and never let it go.’ Sadly, the world was more complicated than that. How could he possibly follow his heart while he was hiding behind a mask? He was a symbol. Symbols weren’t meant to confess to pretty girls under a blanket of stars. His knees weren’t supposed to feel this weak, his heart wasn’t supposed to pound like this, his tongue wasn’t meant to feel clumsy in his mouth. As long as he was Renard, he wasn’t a lovestruck boy – he was a hero.

“Ready?” Nathanael said. He could feel Lila nod against his chest. He attached the hook to the roof’s edge and looked down on the street one last time. This was all very new to him, so he was a little nervous, but he wasn’t about to tell Lila that. So he took a deep breath and jumped off the roof. He could hear Lila gasp in his ear. His heart skipped a beat. Then he loosened his grip on the trigger and slowed their momentum. Soon he felt his feet touch the hard pavement. Lila was still clinging to him, her head buried in his chest.

“We’re on the ground now.” He said with a smile. Lila looked up at him and then glanced at the street. Then she loosened her grip around his neck and lightly brought her feet to solid ground. She let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” She said, the lights from the streetlamps reflected in her eyes. Nathanael ignored the way his heart fluttered.

“It’s all part of the job.”

“No, seriously. I never thanked you for earlier, for helping me get away from the person who was following me. Who knows what could have happened.” She admitted. Nathanael noticed the slight waver in her voice. She had been scared.  

“What were you doing walking around in the middle of the night anyway?” Nathanael asked.

She looked at him for a moment, then brought a small, black notebook out of her coat pocket. Nathanael realized that it was the same notebook he saw her writing in after he came back from lunch at the Dupain-Chengs.

“Sometimes I like to wander around these streets and get some inspiration. It was such a beautiful night – I just felt the urge to explore.” She said sheepishly. Nathanael could understand the feeling – this night had seemed to beckon to him as well.

It was almost as if fate had brought Lila and Nathanael together. Almost like he was meant to save her. He gripped his miraculous in his hand, wondering if the city itself had some magic in its veins too.

“What did you need inspiration for?” He asked. Lila looked down at her shoes.

“I like to write. It’s nice to get my thoughts down every once in a while. It’s calming.” She admitted. Nathanael understood that feeling as well – it was the same with him and his art. It was a way to express what he was thinking, a way to infuse his emotions into canvas. He didn’t realize that he and Lila had so much in common.

“I can’t believe I told you that. I’ve never told anyone that.” Lila said, embarrassed. She looked up at Nathanael.

“I guess I just have one of those faces.” Nathanael replied, shrugging.

“A face that’s hidden by a mask.” Lila observed, her fingers tracing the material around his eyes. He shivered.

“I’m also a fox,” Nathanael continued, leaning in and lowering his voice, “I can keep a secret.” They locked eyes for a moment. The night seemed to hold its breath, waiting to see what these two teenagers would do next. Even the stars stopped glittering for a second to watch.

“Then can I tell you another secret?” Lila said softly, looking up at him. Nathanael simply nodded, entirely at her mercy. He knew those green eyes were dangerous. She took a step towards him and stood on her tiptoes, gently moving a lock of his hair before bringing her mouth next to his ear. He shivered again as he felt her breath on his cheek. Every nerve of his body was sensitive to her touch.

She began to wrap his miraculous around one of her fingers. Nathanael had never felt so helpless. He would promise her anything, do anything, as long as she kept touching him, as long as he could keep feeling her breath in his ear. The alarms bells were going off in his head, but he didn’t seem to care. His heart was hers, everything was hers. He would give anything to stay in this moment forever.

“I want to race to the end of the block,” Lila whispered, “And I’m going to beat you.” With that, she took off running, her laughter bringing music to the quiet night. Nathanael stood dumbfounded for a moment, watching as Lila raced off down the street, her long hair billowing behind her. His brain had shut down; he couldn’t seem to process a coherent thought except the feel of her hand in his hair and her breath in his ear.

_‘Well, are you going to chase after her or not? Foxes do not like to lose.’_ Yishu said, laughter echoing through his mind like tiny bells.

Nathanael blew a lock of hair out of his face and bent his knees. “This girl might be the death of me.” Nathanael muttered to himself, sprinting to catch up to Lila as their laughter traced youthful melodies in the night sky.

 

 

“I think it was unfair. She had a major head-start.” Nathanael said as he grappled towards another rooftop.

_‘Only because you just stared at her as she ran. I think you might have been drooling.’_ Yishu teased.

“Yeah, yeah.” Nathanael said, rolling his eyes and smiling. They ended up racing all the way to her house. Then Lila thanked him one last time, took a key out of her pocket, opened the front door of her house, and went inside. Such a normal end to such an extraordinary day.

However, Nathanael couldn’t seem to get Lila out of his mind. Her eyes, her hands, her lips. The thought of her left him weak. He couldn’t believe how vulnerable he had been. She could’ve done anything with him and he would’ve happily obliged. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had been akumatized again. But this wasn’t mind control. This wasn’t Hawkmoth. This was just a pretty girl who had stolen his heart with a single touch.

“How am I going to be able to go to school on Monday? How am I going to be able to be around her now as Nathanael? She had no clue it was me!” Nathanael exclaimed.

_‘It will be fine. You will just need to adjust. You would not be the fox superhero if you were not able to adapt to new changes.’_ Yishu stated. After a moment she asked: _‘Are you sure she does not know any magic? I could sense your heart pounding.’_

“That’s what worries me. She managed to do all that on her own.” Nathanael replied. He knew he was in trouble. He jumped to another rooftop and ran across his edge. He was heading in the direction of home, but he had decided to take the long way.

“Yishu, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. It’s about my secret identity.” Nathanael began slowly, wondering how he would put this.

_‘Yes?’_

“Well, I think I should tell Marinette – Ladybug. I know her identity, isn’t it only fair that she knows mine?”

_‘Nathanael, one of the fox miraculous’ best advantages is that little is known about it. Even I cannot fully anticipate what each chosen shall accomplish, who they will be. Revealing your identity to anyone, even a fellow superhero, even a friend, could be dangerous.’_

“But I can trust Marinette, I know I can.”

_‘It is tricky. None of my chosen have ever revealed their identities to anyone before. So I do not truly know the consequences.’_

“Really, none?”

_‘Well, none have really had your circumstances either.’_ Yishu explained. Nathanael stopped running and stood on the edge of the roof. He could feel the breeze caress his face.

“Before I watched Marinette transform in the classroom, every day was the same. Now every second is new. Every breath, every touch, every _moment_ is sharper – is that because of my new heightened perception?”

_‘No. You are simply living, Nathanael.’_ Yishu said softly.

Nathanael closed his eyes and felt the night’s embrace. “I want to tell Marinette. You’re right, I’ve just begun to live, and I don’t want to spend my life lying to her, not Marinette. Never Marinette.”

_‘It is up to you, you are the chosen, you get to decide.’_

“No, we both get to decide. We should make every decision together.” Nathanael said firmly. Yishu hummed.

_‘You have a good heart, Nathanael. I trust you, so if you trust Marinette, you can tell her. Just please be careful. I do not want your identity falling into the wrong hands. I do not want to lose you. I cannot bear going through that again.’_

Nathanael held his miraculous in his hand. “You’re not going to lose me, Yishu. Never. You’re my friend, and I will never leave my friends.” He could feel a pulse of warmth from his necklace.

_‘Let us go home. You need to rest.’_

“I doubt I’ll be able to sleep given all that’s happened today.” Nathanael began, the echo of Lila’s laughter in his ears, “But you’re right. It’s probably past midnight by now.”

With that, he bounded across the rooftops, leaping and swinging his way towards home. He was starting to get the hang of his grappling hook. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, smiling at the sky. Then he collided into something and fell over.

“What the –?” Nathanael asked, opening his eyes and rubbing his back.

“Are you okay?” A voice asked.

Nathanael looked up. Red. Black spots. Worried blue eyes. Ladybug. He didn’t collide into something; he had collided into _someone_.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Nathanael said, slowly getting to his feet. He noticed that Ladybug was standing, seemingly unaffected by the collision. She was stronger than she looked, not that he was surprised.

“What are you doing in costume at this time of night? There isn’t an akuma is there?” Ladybug asked, looking around, muscles tensed and ready to fight.

“No, no. I just, wanted to, well –” Nathanael began sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Ladybug’s eyes softened in understanding.

“It _is_ a beautiful night.” She said, looking out at the city.

“What are _you_ doing out here?” Nathanael asked. Ladybug looked back at him.

“Same as you. Not everyone can get a view like this.” She said with a smile. “And every once in a while I like to patrol the city, make sure it’s safe.”

“Oh.”

“Well, I was actually just reaching the end of my patrol, so I should be heading home now. It was nice bumping into you.” Ladybug said with a wink, raising her yo-yo and looking towards a rooftop in the distance.

“Wait.” Nathanael said quickly. Ladybug turned to look at him, lowering her yo-yo.

This was it. But Nathanael was at a loss for words. He struggled to put a sentence together as Ladybug stared at him with a questioning gaze.

“What is is Renard?”

Nathanael walked up to her and took one of her hands. He watched as her eyes widened in surprise. She looked tense – she didn’t quite trust him yet.

Nathanael took a deep breath. “There’s something important that I need to tell you.”


	19. Poppies and Butterflies

Nathanael took a deep breath. “There’s something important that I need to tell you.”

Ladybug glanced at his hands, which were still holding one of hers, then looked back up at him. Those wide blue eyes. His sky. Marinette. He looked into those eyes and felt at ease. He could do this.

“Ladybug – Marinette,” He heard her intake of breath, but decided to keep going. “Behind this mask, well, I’m –”

“Sorry that I’m late to the party.” A voice said above them. Suddenly a dark shadow vaulted onto the roof from up above. Nathanael saw the flash of green – Chat Noir. The leather-clad hero landed lightly on his feet and began to walk towards Ladybug and Renard. As he approached, his eyes glanced down to see that Renard was holding his Lady’s hand. “I must have lost my invitation in the mail.” Nathanael watched his eyes flash in what seemed like a predatory stare.

Nathanael immediately let go of Ladybug’s hand and took a few steps back. This was complicated. How would he tell Marinette now? He could always tell both of them, he supposed, but to be honest, he wasn’t ready to tell Adrien yet. He just didn’t know him as well. And Adrien didn’t know that Nathanael knew he was Chat Noir. Telling Marinette would restore balance to their friendship – telling Adrien would only make it uneven.

‘What do I do?’ Nathanael thought, gears turning in his head. Then a memory wandered to the forefront of his brain – the day Ladybug came through his window. It felt like a lifetime ago. Then he had an idea.

Nathanael cleared his throat and addressed Chat Noir, although his eyes were trained on Ladybug. “You superheroes, always dropping in out of nowhere. It’s like you guys think you’re Batman or something.”

He watched the confusion on Ladybug’s face. Then slowly, her eyes widened and her hand went over her mouth to suppress her gasp. Nathanael broke into a grin. They stood like that for a moment, hanging on the edge of _something_. Something new, something special. Then Ladybug ran up to Nathanael and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaimed, squeezing him tighter. Nathanael began to laugh.

“Come on, you’re embarrassing me.” Nathanael mumbled in between chuckles. Eventually she pulled back and looked Nathanael up and down, almost like how a proud mother would look at her child. She was beaming.

“This is so exciting!” She said, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Then a cough from a few feet away interrupted their celebration. “Um, am I missing something?” Chat asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. 

Ladybug hesitated, then she smiled. “No. I’m just, happy that we have a new member.” She walked up to her partner and rested an elbow on his shoulder. “We need all the help we can get.”

Chat looked at Nathanael for a moment and then looked down at Ladybug. “You’re sure we can trust him?”

“Are you jealous, kitty?” Ladybug asked teasingly, batting her eyes at Chat. Nathanael watched his eyes flash, but then he quickly adopted his typical bravado.

“What if I am? I can’t have some fox stealing my lady away.” Chat said, gently taking one of her hands and kissing her knuckles.

Ladybug laughed and rolled her eyes. Then she got on her tiptoes and flicked Chat’s bell. “Don’t worry, alley cat, you should know by now that no man could manage to steal me away.”

Chat smirked. “Of course, Bugaboo. But maybe some lucky fellow can steal your heart.” He winked. Ladybug simply rolled her eyes again.

“You’re a smooth talker, aren’t you Chat? The girls must love it.” Ladybug said with a smirk of her own. Chat merely rubbed the back of his neck in response.

‘Poor guy.’ Nathanael thought. ‘She has no clue.’

“Anyway,” Ladybug continued, walking to stand between Chat and Renard, “We can trust him. I know it. I have a good feeling, and my good feelings have never been wrong before.”

“Okay, my lady. Then welcome to the team.” Chat said, walking up to Nathanael and offering his hand. Nathanael stood up straighter and took it. Chat had a firm grip.

Ladybug smiled and walked up to the duo. “Well, it’s getting late. We should all probably get back to our homes, get some rest.”

“Y-yeah. I’m pretty beat.” Nathanael said, too afraid to look at Chat directly. He couldn’t tell what the alley cat was thinking. He tightened his grip on his grappling hook and walked to the roof’s edge. Then he turned back to look at Ladybug and Chat Noir. He felt like he should say something. He took a deep breath.

“You two are the real heroes. You’re the ones who have been giving this city hope. I know I’m just the new guy, and I’m sorry for changing things. You never asked for a new hero. I didn’t think you needed one. But I promise to do my best to help you guys. Because you’re more than Paris’ heroes, you’re my heroes.”

Nathanael’s words seemed to soften Chat’s gaze. “So that’s what the fox says.” He replied with a grin. Nathanael sighed and shook his head, smiling to himself. Then Ladybug came up to stand beside him on the roof’s edge. She unhooked her yo-yo from her waist and looked down on her city.

“You’re a real hero too, Renard.” She said. Then she turned to face him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Blue and turquoise. Sky and sea. Marinette and Nathanael. Ladybug and Renard. He never realized that a friendship could come in so many shades.

Ladybug aimed her yo-yo and threw it towards a nearby building. Eyes trained on the skyline, she said under her breath, “Your roof. Five minutes.”

Before Nathanael could respond, she tugged on her yo-yo and flew away into the night. Nathanael watched as she became a red blur amongst the glittering stars. He glanced back at Chat Noir. “See you later.” Then he paused and added. “I promise I’ll to do a good job.”

Chat gave him a small smile and a salute. “Of course. You did good earlier today, during the akuma attack. You were able to help my lady when I couldn’t. You’re a good guy, Renard.”

“Thanks.” Nathanael replied. He felt like he should say more, but he couldn’t think of the right words. So he aimed his grappling hook towards the nearest building, pulled the trigger, and watched the hook fly. Once he knew it was attached firmly to the roof ledge, he gave Chat one last wave and grappled away.

He didn’t see Chat’s ears flatten against his head, or his shoulders slump. He didn’t hear his sigh. He never looked back to see a lonely cat silhouetted by the moon, wondering if he’d lost his lady. Wondering if he was being replaced.

Chat was free. With his fellow heroes heading home, the night was his. This was what he always wanted – no bars, no rules, no restrictions. And yet in this moment, he was alone. All the freedom in the world, and yet he still felt trapped.

 

 

By the time Nathanael reached his house, Ladybug was already waiting for him on the roof. He landed lightly on his feet and picked up his grappling hook. Then he walked over to sit beside the spotted superhero.

They sat in a heavy silence. Both had so much to say, but neither knew where to begin.

“The stars are beautiful tonight, brighter than usual.” Ladybug observed, tilting her head up to watch the sky. Nathanael only nodded his head in agreement.

After a moment Ladybug glanced his way. “It is really you, Nathanael?” She asked. It felt weird to hear someone call him by his civilian name while he was wearing the mask. He felt vulnerable, exposed. And yet he also felt a sense of freedom. He didn’t have to hide from the world. One corner of the universe, on niche, one girl, could know that he was Renard.

“Yishu?” Nathanael asked. His kwami understood, and soon Nathanael’s transformation melted away.

Ladybug looked at him with wide eyes. “Amazing.”

Nathanael looked at his shoes in embarrassment. “The ears are a bit much…” He began.

“No, I love it! You look so cool! You’re a superhero!” Ladybug exclaimed, giggling. Then she realized something. “So you’re the one who saved me from that akuma.”

“I guess.” Nathanael said, tugging at his bangs.

“I had no idea! That’s why you freaked out when I said I’d go find Nathanael! It all makes sense now!” Ladybug said excitedly.

“I wouldn’t say I ‘freaked out’.” Nathanael mumbled, pouting.

“You made a cat pun and then ran away.” Ladybug said, giving Nathanael a dry look.

“I thought it was a graceful exit. And besides, I was able to sneak back as Nathanael and neither of you were the wiser.” Nathanael replied, crossing his arms. “Looks like I outfoxed you both.” He added with a grin.

Ladybug rolled her eyes and punched him lightly on the arm. “Please leave the puns to Chat. I can already barely put up with one of him.”

“Now that’s not true.” Nathanael said, remembering how conflicted Chat looked as he saw Nathanael holding Ladybug’s hand.

“No, you’re right.” She admitted fondly. “He might have an awful sense of humor, but that cat does have his charm.”

“Ooh. Her hair is soft as well. And perfect for braids.” Yishu said, floating to rest on Ladybug’s shoulder.

“Oh right. I forgot to properly introduce you. Marinette, this is Yishu, my kwami. Yishu, this is Marinette.”

Yishu moved to rest on Ladybug’s knee. “It is an honor to finally meet the newest Ladybug. I have heard great things about you.”

Ladybug blushed and lightly stroked Yishu’s head. The little kwami hummed. “It’s nice to meet you too. It looks like Nathanael’s got the perfect partner.”

Yishu looked pleased.

“Tiki?” Ladybug asked. Soon she was covered in a pink light, and Marinette sat before him.

“Tiki.” Yishu stated. Her smile seemed strained.

“What are you, a red fox now? Such cute little ears.” Tiki commented, holding Yishu at arms length to get a better look at her.

“Yes. It is all quite new.” Yishu admitted quietly, tugging on one of her ears.

“It always is, isn’t it?” Tiki replied with a soft smile. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! We have so much to catch up on!”

“Yes, about two centuries’ worth.” Yishu said, looking down at her feet. She looked nervous.

“Wait, you two haven’t seen each other in two hundred years?” Marinette asked, surprised.

“I have been working alone for quite some time. It has been better that way.” Yishu answered. Nathanael watched her ears droop.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Tiki said, her eyes filled with sympathy.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Nathanael asked, refusing to take his eyes off of Yishu. Something about her expression worried him. It looked almost…melancholy.

“I, well – Nathanael.” Yishu began, looking up at her chosen, “Remember when I told you that not all of my miraculous holders have been heroes?”

“Yeah, some were just your friends, and some were…” Realization dawned on Nathanael. “Villains.” The word hung in the air for a moment.

“My chosen and Tiki’s chosen were partners, and then he betrayed Ladybug.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Tiki repeated, putting a tiny arm on Yishu’s shoulder.

“My name was Shan. I was a Swift fox. My chosen did not even have a weapon. He was good. He was kind. But something inside of him snapped. He let this darkness take hold of him. He turned on Ladybug.” Yishu said, almost like she had repeated those words a thousand times.

“Suddenly he could form illusions, warp reality. I tried to convince him to stop. But –”

Silence. Even Paris stood still for a moment. Nathanael wanted to know what happened, _needed_ to know. But he was also aware of his hands shaking.

“He killed her.” Yishu said.

Nathanael watched as tears welled up in his kwami’s eyes. Alice. Now this guy. He was beginning to wonder if Yishu would tell some tragic tale about him one day. He clasped his hands together to stop them from trembling.

“How? What made him –” Marinette began to ask.

“Love can make us powerful. It’s one of the strongest weapons a chosen can wield.” Tiki said.

“But it can also make us vulnerable.” Yishu added. “He loved someone, but that person had her own darkness. I should have done something, but it was too late. Her darkness had infected him too.”

“You couldn’t have done anything. Don’t blame yourself.” Tiki said.

“I know. It does not do anyone good to dwell. But I cannot help but wonder.” Yishu replied wistfully. Then picked her head up and smiled. “Anyway, this is no time to talk about the past. It is time to talk about the future!” She said happily, floating up to Marinette.

Nathanael saw the concern in Marinette’s eyes, but she decided to wipe it away for Yishu’s sake. It was easy to tell that his kwami didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“You’re right!” Marinette said, turning to face Nathanael. “I want to know everything! How’d you become a superhero? When?”

Nathanael watched Marinette bounce in her seat, then he stroked Yishu behind the ears. “It happened on that rainy day. You know, when I stopped by your bakery.”

“Oh! When you were with Master Fu!” Marinette exclaimed, beginning to put the pieces together.

“Yeah,” Nathanael began, rubbing the back of his neck. “He kinda slipped the miraculous into my jacket when I wasn’t looking.”

Marinette giggled. “He snuck into my house. My miraculous was on my desk when I first saw it.”

“That’s a little creepy.”

Marinette just shrugged her shoulders. “Master Fu is a little…unorthodox. But he means well.”

Nathanael felt Yishu begin to braid his hair. “I’m just surprised that he chose me.”

“Why?”

Nathanael sighed and leaned back to rest on the roof tiles. He saw the blinking lights of an airplane in the distance. He wondered where it was going. “I, I’m not –” He began, struggling to explain. “I’m not like you or Ad-Chat Noir.” Nathanael cringed, he almost let Adrien’s name slip out – he was not ready to open _that_ can of worms. “You guys are confident and brave and kind and good. You always know what to do. You’re the perfect team. You’re the heroes Paris needs.” Nathanael blew a lock of hair out of his face. “I just don’t understand why there needs to be another hero. I don’t understand why Master Fu thought it should be some lonely boy.”

Marinette shifted to lie down next to him. Together they gazed at the stars. “Trust me, you were chosen for a reason. You must have noticed that the attacks have gotten more - intense - lately. Chat and I have been struggling to win. There have been a few times where we almost lost, but you know who was there to save us every time?” Marinette looked over at Nathanael and smiled. “You. Even before you became a superhero, it was always you. How could Master Fu have chosen anyone else?”

Nathanael looked into those blue eyes for a moment, and then he fought back his blush. She was so kind. She always knew how to make him feel better.

“You know the first time I transformed was because I fell off of this roof.” Nathanael said with a chuckle.

Marinette tried to smother a giggle. Her eyes were bright with mirth. “Really?”

“Yes. Let us say that when he first saw me he was, as you say, ‘freaked’.” Yishu said with a giggle of her own, floating off of Nathanael’s head to rest on his stomach.

“I think it was a very normal response given the circumstances!” Nathanael said defensively, waving his arms. That only caused Marinette and Yishu to giggle even more.

Tiki gave a motherly smile and patted Nathanael on the cheek before she came to sit by Marinette’s head. “It’s interesting that you laugh, Marinette. The first time I appeared you called me a rat-bug and began to throw things at me.”

“A rat-bug?” Nathanael asked, chuckling. Marinette pouted and crossed her arms. “Betrayed by my own kwami.” She muttered. Then she glanced at Nathanael and they erupted into a fit of laughter. It took them a minute to calm back down.

“Really though. It’s so good to have you on the team, Nathanael. As I said earlier, we need all the help we can get.”

“Thanks, Marinette.”

They stayed like that for a while, lying down on Nathanael’s roof. Two teenagers and two kwamis, watching the nocturnal clock tick around them. Then Tiki yawned.

“Oh. It must be super late by now.” Marinette said, getting up. “I should really go home.”

“Right. Sorry for keeping you.” Nathanael said, getting up himself.

“If anything I should be apologizing. I was the one who told you to meet me up here.” Marinette replied. She walked up to Nathanael and put her arms on his shoulders. “See you later, Renard.” She said with a playful wink.

Nathanael rolled his eyes and smiled. Then he remembered something. “How about we hang out tomorrow?”

“Right! Tomorrow’s Saturday! Yeah, how about we meet up at the park? Say around two?” Marinette suggested.

“Perfect.”

Marinette smiled and gave him a hug. Then she looked at Tiki. “Tiki, transforme moi!” Soon Marinette was covered in that familiar pink light, and Ladybug stood before him. She unhooked her yo-yo. “Tomorrow. The park. Two o’clock.”

“Right.” Nathanael replied. “See you later, Ladybug.”

One last smile and Ladybug was gone, merely a red brush stroke against the night sky.

Nathanael sighed and sat back down. “Now I’ll just have to text Adrien in the morning.” He said with a mischievous grin. Yishu giggled and rested on top of Nathanael’s head. “I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.”

“Oh it won’t be easy,” Nathanael said. He watched as Ladybug landed gracefully on her balcony about a block away. “But for those two? It’s worth it.”

Yishu hummed in agreement. “Ladybug and Chat Noir. They are something else.”

“Yeah.” Nathanael agreed. Then he glanced at his hands.

_‘He let his darkness take hold of him. He turned on Ladybug.’_ Nathanael hadn't forgotten Yishu’s words. He killed Ladybug, all because he gave his heart to the wrong person. He thought of Marinette, he thought of Lila, he thought of Hawkmoth. Darkness, could it still take hold of him too? He remembered how helpless he was when Lila whispered in his ear. But how could love drive someone to kill a hero? A partner? He couldn’t help but see the parallels in Yishu’s story, and that terrified him.

He could see the fluttering of wings in the corner of his vision. He could feel the trembling in his hands, a sensation that he had almost forgotten. _No_. He would not let this happen. Not again. He stood up and clenched his fists. But as he went to lower himself into his bedroom window, as he padded quietly across his floor, he couldn’t help but hear that voice in the back of his mind. That voice he thought he had gotten rid of for good.

_‘Careful, my little artist. Put a lock on those emotions. Be careful not to give your heart away. Otherwise you’ll kill her. And then you’ll finally be mine.’_

Nathanael shut his window tightly, then turned off the light. He glanced at the corner of his room. He could see the blank canvas, so white that it looked like a ghost, haunting him.

‘No. Not again.’ Nathanael thought desperately. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He could almost feel the butterflies tickling his face. Then he felt Yishu stroking his hair. After a deep breath he opened his eyes and reached up to scratch behind Yishu’s ear. He could hear her familiar hum. He managed to calm down and get ready for bed. He was exhausted.

‘I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.’ Nathanael repeated in his mind, gripping his miraculous, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was coming. Something he wasn’t ready to handle. And that scared him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the chapter! I'm sorry it took longer than usual, college applications man. Anyway, I really enjoyed focusing on my brotp, and I hope you enjoyed it as well. Now let's see how much Adrienette fluff I can put in the next chapter, shall we? ;D


	20. Sunflowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Internet at my house is a little wonky, but with some trial and error I managed to post this. It's a little longer than usual, so I hope you like it! :D Your comments are like warm hugs, I can't get enough of them!

Nathanael adjusted his beanie as he walked towards his front door.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” A voice said behind him. Nathanael turned around and saw his mom, crossing her arms. Her mouth formed an accusing pout. Then she broke into a grin and opened her arms. Nathanael laughed and ran up to hug her. She pressed a firm kiss on his forehead and moved the hair out of Nathanael’s face to get a better look at him.

“Who’s my beautiful boy?” She cooed, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. Nathanael rolled his eyes and blushed, clutching his sketchbook close to his chest.

“Moooomm…”

“Now, honey, don’t embarrass him. You’ll tarnish his manhood, and you know how tightly we men cling to that.” His dad teased, entering the kitchen and picking up his mug of coffee.

“Daaaaaadd…” Nathanael said with a groan, fighting back a grin.

His mom laughed and patted her son’s cheek. “Go have fun with your friends.”

“And tell me what you think of the new exhibit. Mr. Kubdel and I are pretty proud of how it turned out.” His father added before taking an indulgent sip from his mug.

“I’m sure it’s amazing.” His mother said, putting an arm around her husband’s waist and fixing his crooked glasses with her free hand.

He gave her a lazy smile. “Thanks, dear.” Then he leaned down to give her a kiss.

“Ew, gross. Old people PDA.” Nathanael said, covering his eyes.

“Hey, we’re still pretty young. You’re lucky we’re not making out on the kitchen table right now.” His mom said with a smirk.

“Hmmm, that gives me an idea…” His father said, pulling his wife closer.

“Okay, I’m leaving now!” Nathanael announced, keeping his eyes covered as he hurried to the front door.

“Have fun, sweetie!” He heard his mother call after him before she broke into a fit of giggles.

“Remind me never to eat at that table ever again.” Nathanael mumbled to Yishu once he was out the door. He heard Yishu laugh from under his beanie.

“You try to sound displeased, but I can tell that you are happy.” She observed, beginning to braid his hair.

Nathanael smiled at the ground as he headed towards the park. “You caught me.”

He walked down the street and took a left past Marinette’s parent’s bakery to get to the park. He saw that Marinette was already there, sitting on the grass near the Ladybug and Chat Noir statue. She seemed to be sketching in her little pink notebook.

“Inspired?” Nathanael asked as he approached his friend. He watched as she picked her head up and smiled.

“The grass is particularly green today. It got me thinking about a suit.”

“A superhero suit?” Nathanael asked, remembering that green blur he saw the day he met Master Fu. He was meaning to ask the old man about that.

“Oh, no, I mean a formal suit. Like for business or special events.” Marinette explained, lifting up her sketchbook for Nathanael to see. Nathanael leaned over and looked at Marinette’s half-finished design. The jacket and slacks were a very dark green, almost black. The inside vest was a more muted emerald green, while the button-up was charcoal. Then a gold tie finished the look. Next to the picture were little notes like: Texture? Different shades? More gold accents? Pant length?

“It’s just an idea, I haven’t decided if it’s any good or not.” Marinette said with a blush as she put her colored pencils into her bag.

Nathanael offered her his hand and lifted her to her feet. “I like it. It reminds me of Chat Noir.” He said, gesturing at the statue of the alley cat.

Marinette looked pensively at Chat’s vacant gaze. “I guess I didn’t make the connection.” She said softly.

Nathanael moved to stand by her side. “Ooh, does someone have Chat Noir on the brain? It’s the leather, isn’t it?” He teased. Marinette rolled her eyes and punched him lightly on the arm.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve just been worried about him. He’s seems a little off recently.” She said, furrowing her eyebrows.

Nathanael had a good guess as to why that might be, remembering how tense the alley cat got when he saw Renard with his lady, but he didn’t feel like it was his place to explain it to Marinette. It was something Chat had to do himself, once he mustered up the courage.

“He may have a terrible sense of humor, but he’s tough. He’ll be alright.” Nathanael assured her, putting a hand on Marinette’s shoulder. Marinette smiled, then looked down at the black notebook Nathanael was holding.

“Wait, is that your sketchbook?” Marinette asked, her eyes shining with excitement.

Nathanael rubbed the back of his head and smiled.

That was all the confirmation Marinette needed. “Oh this is great!” She exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Are you going to try and draw again?”

Nathanael looked at the ground and blushed. “I was thinking about it.” To be honest he wasn’t originally planning on bringing his sketchbook. But as he was getting ready this morning his saw a corner of it hidden underneath a pile of school stuff, and felt an inexplicable need to bring it. He traced his fingers along the worn edges as he clutched it closer to his chest. It felt good to hold it again. He felt more complete.

He had become so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Marinette suddenly turn into a stuttering mess until she went to hide behind him, gripping his shoulders like a lifeline.

“Marinette!” Nathanael began, startled. “What’s –” Then he looked towards the other end of the park and saw the blond model. “Oh, it’s just Adrien.” Nathanael said, waving to get the boy’s attention. They made eye contact and Adrien beamed as he began to walk over to them.

“W-what’s he doing here?” Marinette squeaked, moving to stand next to Nathanael and trying – and failing – to look as casual as possible.

“I invited him.” Nathanael said simply, watching Adrien make his way over. He could feel Marinette’s wide eyes on him.

“You what?” She said, gripping her sketchbook. Nathanael looked down at her.

“Marinette, you like him right? How’re you ever going to get to know him unless you talk to him?” He paused. “Unless you only like to look at him.” He accused, raising an eyebrow.

Marinette sputtered and put her hands on her hips. Nathanael fought his instincts to take a step back. He refused to lose this battle. He was doing this for her sake.

“I do not just like him for his looks.” Marinette said, looking insulted. “He’s kind and sweet and –”

“Yeah, but Marinette, how much do you really know about him?” Nathanael interrupted.

Marinette opened her mouth, but she was at a loss for words. Nathanael took the opportunity and kept going.

“He’s a really nice guy, but you’ve never given him a chance to get to know you or to learn more about him. How can you ever hope to move forward if you never take the first step?”

Marinette stared at him for a moment, looking like she was about to argue, but then she slumped her shoulders in defeat. “What if he doesn’t like me?” She asked, looking away.

“Who couldn’t like you? Besides, you two are meant for each other.” Nathanael said with confidence.

“How can you be so sure?” Marinette asked, looking at him suspiciously.

“A fox never reveals his secrets.” He replied with a wink.

Marinette rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Hey guys!” Adrien said as approached the pair. Marinette managed to give him a shy smile and a wave. At least it was progress.

“How’s your mom doing?” Adrien asked Nathanael.

“She’s great actually. She’s taking some much needed time off, thanks to you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just the messenger.” Adrien said innocently, raising his hands in defense.

Nathanael smiled. “Well, whoever managed to change your father’s mind, they really helped me out. I’m grateful.”

Adrien rubbed his neck bashfully in response.

“So, you never told me where we were going.” Marinette said, turning to face Nathanael.

“Well, there’s a new exhibit at the Louvre that I thought we could check out. My dad and Alix’s dad worked on it together, and I heard that it’s something special.”

“Sounds great.” Adrien said, excitement in his eyes. Nathanael tried to hide the hint of mischief in his smile.

The trio began to leave the park and head in the direction of the Louvre, enjoying the sunlight and the sound of laughing children.

“Oh, I almost forgot, my dad wouldn’t let me leave the house until I agreed to bring a bag of pastries.” Marinette said, lifting up a paper bag with that familiar logo.

“I love your family.” Adrien said as Marinette handed him a croissant. “And it’s still warm!” He exclaimed, bouncing a little on his feet. Marinette gave him a nervous but pleased smile.

“I think your dad has officially replaced you as my favorite Dupain.” Nathanael teased. He laughed as Marinette gave him a playful shove.

“But seriously,” Nathanael said as he took a bite of an orange macaroon, “thanks. You’re amazing.”

“Only the best for my friends.” Marinette declared as she looked between the two boys. Nathanael noticed Adrien smile at the word ‘friends’.

 

 

The glass pyramid shone in the sunlight, its metal frame crisscrossing to form a collection of rhombuses lining the exterior. A link between the ancient and modern, even the structure of the Louvre was a piece of art.

“Here we are.” Nathanael declared, stopping to admire the museum. He remembered the first time his father showed him this place. It was nighttime and the Louvre was illuminated by a soft glow. Little Nathanael took a seat next to the closest fountain and began to sketch the pyramid in his notebook. His father took a seat next to him and they sat in silence like that for a while, simply enjoying the gentle breeze and each other’s company.

Nathanael smiled at the memory and hugged his sketchbook a little tighter. He was not holding the same notebook, he had used up every corner of his old notebook years ago, but he did have that picture of the Louvre taped in the inside cover.

“I haven’t been here in years.” Adrien said in awe, looking with wide eyes as he took it all in.

“Really?” Marinette asked, looking up at him.

Eyes still turned on the Louvre, he replied, “With my piano lessons and Chinese and fencing and modeling, my father says that I don’t have the time for stuff like this. He says that tourist activities are beneath an Agreste.” Both Nathanael and Marinette could sense the subtle hint of bitterness in his tone. Nathanael noticed him begin to play with his ring.

“Well today we are more than tourists.” Nathanael said, getting three tickets out of his pocket. “Follow me.”

Nathanael began to walk towards the entrance of the Louvre, Marinette and Adrien trailing behind him. However, instead of getting in line, he approached one of the security guards.

“Hey, Sam.” Nathanael said to the large, burly man in front of him. The security guard turned to face him, giving him an intimidating gaze.

“Um, Nath? Maybe we shouldn’t –” Marinette began, muscles tensed. Then Sam broke into a grin and gave Nathanael a bear hug, lifting him off of his feet. Both Marinette and Adrien got in defensive stances, unsure of what to do.

“Little Kurtzberg! I haven’t seen you in years! Where’ve you been?” Sam said, laughing as he shook Nathanael. Then he heard Nathanael groan and put him down.

Nathanael grinned and smoothed out his shirt. Then he rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry Sam, my dad’s been too busy for visitors.”

Sam’s large grin quickly turned into a frown. “Oh yeah, Old Kurtzberg is always holed up in his office nowadays. Now that I think about it, I haven’t seen him all day, probably spent the night here.” He said disapprovingly.

“Actually, he took the day off.” Nathanael said. He watched as Sam’s eyebrows rose. “He’s decided to be at home more often. So has my mom.”

Sam’s eyes widened, then he broke into one of his big grins and put his hands on Nathanael’s shoulders. “Good for you kid. Your parents need to focus on the more important things.” He poked a finger at Nathanael’s chest, then he stood up to his full height. “Then what can I do for you and your friends today?”

Nathanael showed Sam his tickets. “I wanted to show them the new exhibit.”

“Ah. It’s gotten very popular. There’s been a line out the door to see it all day. But I think I know a guy who can get you into the express line.” He said with a wink.

“Thanks, Sam.” Nathanael said with a smile.

Sam ruffled his hair. “Just follow me.” He led the trio past the line and through the entrance to the museum, then he talked to the man at the front desk and took them down the main corridor. “So do I get to know the names of your friends?” Sam asked over his shoulder.

“I’m Marinette, it’s nice to meet you.” Marinette said with a smile.

“And I’m Adrien, thanks for letting us in. This place is amazing.” Adrien said politely, looking around at the grand portraits that lined the corridor.

“I’ve known Nathanael for a while now. He’s a good kid, so any friend of Little Kurtzberg is a friend of mine.” Sam stopped at the end of the corridor. “Just take a left and the exhibit is down the hall. I have to get back to my post. Enjoy the museum kids.”

“Thanks Sam. I owe you one.” Nathanael said.

Sam ruffled his hair once more. “Just stop by once in a while okay? You’re not so little anymore, I wanna see how you’re doing.”

“Okay.” Nathanael replied with a grin. With that, Sam gave them one last wave and walked back the way they had come.

“He was nice.” Marinette said with a smile.

“He’s almost as big as the Gorilla.” Adrien mused.

Nathanael looked between his two friends. Ladybug and Chat Noir. It was time to show them the exhibit. The trio took a left and walked down the hall. Soon they saw red, black, and green brush strokes of color. Both Adrien and Marinette stopped in their tracks as they looked on in awe. At the entrance of the exhibit there was a huge painting of Ladybug and Chat Noir, perched on the Eiffel Tower as they looked down on their city.

“What –?”

“Is that -?”

“Welcome to the new Ladybug and Chat Noir exhibit!” Nathanael said with a grin as he lifted his arms in a grand gesture.

 

 

“My dad and Alix’s dad have been working on this for months.” Nathanael said as he led the pair down the hallway. Left and right were paintings and sculptures of Paris’ superheroes. All different art forms – portrait, landscape, modern, abstract – filled the place with color.

“They asked both well-known and upcoming artists to show what Ladybug and Chat Noir meant to them. They even incorporated some submissions from everyday citizens.” Nathanael said, gesturing towards a framed piece of paper that had a picture of stick figure versions of Chat Noir and Ladybug fighting a mess of black and purple squiggles. In the corner was the name ‘Ana’, but the ‘N’ was backwards.

“This is –” Marinette began.

“Incredible.” Adrien finished.

“I remember Alya telling me about this, but with all the craziness this week I guess I just forgot.” Marinette said, looking around with wide eyes.

The three of them stopped to look at a large painting of Ladybug, flying through the air past the Notre Dame. It reminded Nathanael of last night. The artist captured Ladybug perfectly – her determined gaze, her strength, her fierce love for her city reflected in her eyes. But with all the intensity, Ladybug also had a sense of kindness and compassion about her.

“She’s beautiful.” Adrien said with a smile. Nathanael could see both the love and longing in his eyes. Just like this painting, Ladybug was something Chat Noir couldn’t touch.

Marinette blushed and looked at the painting as well. “She’s just a person.”

Adrien turned to look at her. “That’s what makes her so amazing.”

Marinette’s blush only deepened. She walked further down the hallway to look at a painting of Chat Noir. He had on his trademark grin as he vaulted through the air with his staff. She smiled at the familiarity. “Chat Noir’s pretty great too.”

Adrien moved to stand beside her. “It sounds like you know him.” He asked. Nathanael could tell that he was trying to hide a smirk.

“I met him once or twice.” She said carefully. “He came to my house to warn me about –” She stopped abruptly and looked at Nathanael. He watched as concern and regret filled her blue eyes.

“To warn you about me, I mean, the Evillustrator.” Nathanael finished. “It’s okay, really. We can’t just pretend like it never happened.” He remembered the advice he gave Lila – he had to confront it, understand it, and then let it go.

“But –” Marinette began.

“It’s fine, Marinette.” Nathanael assured her. “It wasn’t me, it was Hawkmoth.”

Marinette didn’t look convinced, but she decided to let it go.

“I wish there was something here for Renard.” She commented.

“How do you know his name?” Adrien asked, curious eyes turned on her.

She hesitated under his gaze, but then smiled and said, “Alya’s one of my best friends, how could I not know?”

Adrien turned to look back at the painting of Chat Noir, satisfied with her answer. He didn’t notice Marinette’s sigh of relief.

“Renard is pretty awesome. He and Ladybug were quite the team the other day.” Adrien commented, his voice sounded oddly neutral.

“Yeah, it’s nice to know that there’s another hero around to keep Paris safe. Maybe they’ll make an exhibit for him one day.” Marinette said, glancing at Nathanael. He smiled and looked down bashfully.

“I-I’m not so sure. He’s nowhere near as cool as Ladybug and Chat Noir.” Nathanael said.

“Well I’m not sure if anyone can be as cool as Ladybug, but he’s easily better than Chat Noir. Did you see how he blasted that akuma with his voice? And Chat Noir was passed out when Ladybug needed him the most.” Adrien commented, again with that strangely neutral tone.

Nathanael looked at him with concern. Did Adrien really feel that way, like he wasn’t good enough? Was he worried that Renard would replace him? He was about to open his mouth to say something, but Marinette beat him to it.

“How could you possibly say that?” Marinette asked, hands placed firmly on her hips. All her nervousness around Adrien melted away as she defended Chat Noir, who, ironically, was Adrien.

“W-what do you mean?” He asked, clearly caught off guard by Marinette’s sudden boldness.

“Chat Noir is every bit the hero that Ladybug is, that Renard is. He constantly puts himself in danger for Ladybug. If he didn’t push her out of the way during that last akuma attack, she would’ve been the one unconscious on the ground, and where would Paris be then? Chat Noir is one of the greatest heroes – greatest people – that I have ever met. Sure he likes to joke around and make puns, but he cares about this city. He works hard to save everyone, including Ladybug. She would be nothing without him. How could you possibly think otherwise?” She took a deep breath, then looked a little nervous, worried that she had said too much. Marinette and Nathanael watched as Adrien looked at her, dumbfounded.

“I-I’m sorry. You’re right. I didn’t mean to – he’s a hero too.” He stuttered. It was like Adrien was looking at Marinette with new eyes.

Adrien glanced at the portrait, and then looked back at Marinette. As Nathanael watched the pair stare at each other, it almost looked like Ladybug and Chat Noir were locked in an eternal gaze. It was like they were on the edge of some sort of understanding.

‘Is this it? Have they figured it out?’ Nathanael wondered. This was not exactly a part of the plan, but he didn’t necessarily object to it either. Maybe it was time for them to stop dancing around each other. Maybe it was time was Ladybug and Chat Noir – Marinette and Adrien – to finally meet each other.

“Hey girl! I didn’t know you were here!” Alya and Nino approached the trio, holding hands. Marinette and Adrien looked up to see their friends. The moment was over.

‘I guess it won’t be today.’ Nathanael observed, unsure of how to feel. He would have to keep his secrets a little longer, but he hoped that one day they would figure it out, when the time was right.

“Y-yeah, Nathanael wanted to show it to us. His dad was one of the people to work on it.” Marinette said with a nervous smile, glancing at Adrien.

Alya looked between Marinette and Adrien, then she walked up to Nathanael and put a casual arm around his shoulder.

“As the expert of all things Ladybug, I am disappointed that you didn’t invite me.” She began. Nathanael looked down in shame. “But,” she continued. “As the #1 supporter of all this,” she said, gesturing to Marinette and Adrien, who were standing next to each other as they talked to Nino, “I can forgive you.” Nathanael looked up at her and she gave him a wink.

“Let’s keep going shall we? I heard there’s a sculpture of Chat Noir in the nude.” She said playfully, addressing the whole group.

“Okay, I’ll try not to be bothered by that.” Nino replied, wrapping an arm around Alya’s waist. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s just art, honey.”

Nino gave her a dry look in response.

“I wonder if they got Chat Noir to pose for it…” Nathanael heard Alya wonder as she and Nino made their way down the hallway.

Nathanael glanced at Adrien and saw that his face was bright red.

“Adrien?! Are you okay?” Marinette asked, concerned.

“Y-yeah, it’s just a little hot in here.” Adrien replied, trying to hide his face behind his hair.

Nathanael stifled his laughter as the five of them continued down the corridor. All around him were paintings and sculptures of Ladybug and Chat Noir, but nothing could truly capture this moment: Ladybug and Chat Noir, seeing themselves plastered on the walls, beginning to understand how much Paris loves them, maybe even starting to realize that their soulmate is closer than they think.

It was awkward and it was clumsy and it was honest. It was life. Nathanael opened his sketchbook and raised his pencil with a smile. He was home.


	21. The Kiss

“Honey, I think you have an obsession with turtles.” Alya said to Nino as they walked into the classroom.

“I do _not_ ,” Nino said, scandalized. “I just appreciate how awesome they are. I feel like those green dudes are underappreciated. Back me up here guys.” Nino said, turning to face Marinette, Adrien and Nathanael, who were following not too far behind.

“I’m staying out of this.” Adrien said, moving to sit in his seat.

“Turtles _are_ pretty cool,” Marinette admitted. Nino faced Alya and gave her a smug grin. Alya simply smiled and rolled her eyes. “But,” Marinette continued, “that doesn’t mean that you don’t love turtles maybe a _little_ too much.”

“Ha.” Alya said, crossing her arms in triumph.

“I’ve known you back when you still wore braids, Marinette, where’s the loyalty?” Nino asked, looking betrayed.

“It’s because she loves me.” Alya cooed, wrapping her arms around her friend. Marinette laughed and tried to push Alya away but her friend only squeezed tighter. This caused Marinette to laugh even more.

“How about you, Nathanael? Are _you_ on my side?” Nino asked, turning his golden eyes on his red-haired friend.

Nathanael blew a lock of hair out of his face and scrunched up his eyebrows in thought. Then he smiled when a memory came to mind. “When I was little I went to the beach and got to see the baby turtles hatch and crawl to the ocean. The next month I only drew pictures of turtles. I loved them. So yeah, maybe they are underappreciated.”

Nino pumped his fist in triumph. “Yes! Nathanael’s a real bro, unlike the rest of you traitors.” He declared, saying that last part to Adrien. Adrien put up his hands in defense. Marinette giggled.

“You’re adorable.” Alya said, kissing Nino on the cheek and twining his hand with hers. Nino tried to hide his blush.

Then Lila walked into the room. Nathanael noticed the black notebook that she clutched to her chest. It brought back flashbacks of that night near the Notre Dame.

‘Stay cool, Nathanael. You got this.’

“H-hey, Lila. What’s it – I mean – how’s it going?” Nathanael stammered, trying and failing to lean casually against one of the desks. He saw Marinette try to smother a giggle out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m good, Beanie Baby.” Lila said with a wink. Nathanael could feel his heart doing flips in his chest.

“How was your weekend, Lila?” Marinette asked, a smile on her face.

Lila shifted from one foot to the other. All eyes were on her, and Nathanael could tell that she wasn’t exactly comfortable with it. He wondered if this was how she felt when reporters swarmed her, asking about her parents. He could understand why she preferred making up lies – anything to get people to stop staring.

“It was pretty boring.” Lila admitted, shrugging. Then there was a glint in her eyes. “But I _did_ meet the new superhero.”

Alya rushed up to Lila’s side. Nathanael could feel Marinette’s eyes on him.

“Wait, you met him? How? When?” Alya said, clutching her phone in her hand. She was in full-reporter mode now.

“Friday night. Someone was following me, and he got me to safety. Then he raced me home.” Lila said, looking at her shoes and smiling. Nathanael turned to see Marinette grinning at him.

“What was he like?” Adrien asked, his face giving nothing away. Nathanael began to shift uncomfortably. He still wasn’t sure what Chat Noir thought about Renard.

“He’s…sweet. A little dorky, but he seems like a good person.” Lila said with certainty. Nathanael smiled at her.

“Dorky, but a good person…” Alya said to herself, furiously typing on her phone. Then she looked up at Lila. “Do you mind if I put this on my blog?”

“Go ahead.” Lila said, a glimmer of pride in her eyes. Nathanael wondered why that was, but then realized that it was probably because she just talked to a reporter and didn’t tell a single lie. Lila was telling Nathanael the truth when they were stuck in that container during the Baby Proofer attack; she really _was_ trying not to hide behind lies anymore. Nathanael’s heart warmed.

“Renard really is a good superhero. I just hope people believe that. I hope that they don’t think he’s like Volpina.” She said that last part quietly. Nathanael noticed that Lila was fiddling with the chain of a necklace that was hidden underneath her shirt.

Nathanael saw the sympathy in Marinette’s blue eyes. “Don’t worry, Lila. Everyone will love him. Renard will teach Hawkmoth not to mess with Paris!” She declared, raising her fist victoriously. Nathanael tried not to blush.

“I wouldn’t go _that_ far…” Nathanael mumbled.

“Marinette’s right. Renard and Ladybug make a great team.” Adrien said with a sad smile.

“ _And_ Chat Noir.” Marinette added, turning to look at Adrien.

“Right.” He said, but he didn't sound convinced. 

Nathanael pulled his sketchbook out of his bag and opened to the page he was working on. At the Louvre he began developing a new idea. It was a bit ambitious, but if he managed to get it right…”

“What are you working on?” Lila asked. Nathanael hadn’t realized that she had come to stand next to him.

“Oh, it’s just, some sketches I’ve been working on.” Nathanael said, stumbling over his words. He could hear Marinette giggle at something that Alya just said. At this point Lila and Nathanael were standing by the desks while the rest of their friends sat in their seats, continuing the conversation about turtles.

“I’ve never seen you draw before.” Lila asked, lifting up her wide, green eyes to look at him.

“I-I haven’t opened this sketchbook in a while.” Nathanael admitted, trying not to think back on the feeling of Lila’s breath in his ear, trying not to remember being alone with her under a blanket of stars.

“Why?”

Nathanael began to think of some excuse, but then he realized that if Lila is trying to tell the truth, maybe he should give it a try.

“Before you moved here, Hawkmoth akumatized me.” Nathanael began, looking at his shoes. “He took what I loved most – art – and used it for evil. It’s taken me a while to be able to draw again. It’s been hard not to remember his voice in my head.”

“Oh, wow.” Lila said, eyes sad.

“But I’m good now. This past week I’ve learned a lot. Marinette has helped me. And-and you too.”

“Me?”

“You know what it’s like to be under his control, and you’re working to be better too. You’re strong. You make _me_ want to be strong.”

Lila looked like she was at a loss for words, but then she gave him a shy smile. Nathanael could see a blush forming in her cheeks.

“I’m not sure if –” Lila began.

“Get out of my way. You’re blocking the doorway.” Chloe said, shoving Nathanael and Lila aside as she made a beeline to her desk. Sabrina hurried after her. Nathanael and Lila stumbled and their notebooks fell out of their hands.

“What a horrible girl.” Lila huffed, glaring daggers at Chloe’s back. Nathanael bent down to pick up their notebooks. He handed Lila’s over to her and put his own back in his bag.

“We should probably get to our seats, everybody else should be coming in soon.” Nathanael said, adjusting his beanie.

“You’re right. Besides, I don’t want to get hit by any flying monkeys.” Lila said, saying it loud enough for Chloe to hear.

“Hey.” Mariette said before the two headed for their desk. “See you guys at lunch?”

Nathanael looked at Lila, then turned back to Marinette and said, “Of course.”

 

 

Nathanael walked back into the classroom. Lunch had just ended, and he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off of his face. Nathanael, Lila, Marinette, Adrien, Nino and Alya all hung out together in the courtyard as they passed around a bag of Dupain-Cheng pastries. It was there that they had The Great Turtle Debate. Lila couldn’t contain her laughter as she watched Nino playfully tackle Adrien to the floor, Nino cackling maniacally as he messed up the blond model’s hair. Nathanael wanted to see Lila laugh like that all of the time.

Nathanael had decided to head back to class earlier than the others; he was itching to draw. Besides, when he left them Lila and Marinette were having an intense conversation about a book series they both liked. Lila was in good hands.

Nathanael walked through the empty classroom and took his seat.

“I think that turtles are nice.” Yishu said from under Nathanael’s beanie, smoothing out his hair.

“You should tell Nino that. He’d love to hear it.” Nathanael paused. “On second thought, maybe that’s not such a good idea.” He began to imagine Nino’s reaction if he saw a small, floating fox pop out from Nathanael’s beanie and begin to talk about turtles.

“There is a turtle kwami, you know.” Yishu stated. Nathanael thought about that.

“Wait, when I first met Master Fu, I saw a green blur. Does that mean…?”

Yishu only hummed in response. Nathanael realized that he had a lot to talk about with the mysterious old man. His first question: Why the Hawaiian shirts?

Nathanael sat in his seat and began to rummage through his bag. After a few seconds of searching he pulled out his black notebook. He picked up his pencil and flipped to the page he was working on. Except, there was no drawing on the page. There were words.

Confused, Nathanael looked at some of the more legible verses among the scribbles of phrases and ideas. It went:

_I strain against the gains of my unease._

_My ability to please waxes and wanes._

_The bane of my existence is my own name._

_I am to blame._

_I try to escape, to fix myself,_

_But the tempest keeps pestering, festering,_

_Nesting in me._

_How can one tame a hurricane?_

Nathanael looked at the page in confusion, wondering whose notebook it was. He knew that Ivan liked to write song lyrics, but this didn’t seem like his style. He flipped to the inside cover of the notebook and saw a name written in cursive: Lila. Nathanael’s eyes widened as he put the pieces together.

‘I must have taken Lila’s notebook by mistake after Chloe bumped into us.’

Nathanael remembered Lila telling Renard that she liked to write. A part of him was tempted to read more, to get to know this side of Lila, but he closed the notebook instead. Going any further would be an invasion of privacy. He was in the middle of thinking through exactly how to explain his mistake to Lila when someone walked up to his desk.

“Ooh, making more of those lame doodles?” A voice said, picking up the notebook. Nathanael raised his eyes and saw Chloe standing in front of him.

“I wonder if there are any new ones of Marinette, you two have become awfully close. It looks like someone hasn’t gotten over his stupid little crush.” Chloe snickered as she began to flip through the pages.

“Give that back Chloe.” Nathanael warned, reaching over to try and take it out of her hands. However, Sabrina moved to block Nathanael. Nathanael had to use all of his willpower not to shove Sabrina out of the way. He knew violence would only get him in trouble.

“Chloe, I’m warning you.” Nathanael said through gritted teeth, trying to get past Sabrina.

“Oooh what’s this?” Chloe cooed, her eyes scanning the page. “His turquoise eyes draw me in, each one its own vast ocean. I want to know what lies beneath their depths, but I’m afraid I’ll drown. Maybe I already have. That would explain the vertigo. And yet, even if I have already drowned, I don’t seem to mind.”

Nathanael took a moment to process those words. Lila wrote that, but about who? Could it be about him? And even if it was about him, is she talking about Nathanael or Renard?

“How disgustingly poetic.” Chloe drawled, laughing. “I think it needs some adjustments.” Chloe picked up one of Nathanael’s pens and began to write in Lila’s notebook.

“Hey! Stop!” Nathanael growled, lunging at Chloe, but Sabrina only pushed him back. He glared daggers at Sabrina, and then decided that violence was his only option. As he was about to push Sabrina out of the way, Lila and Marinette came walking in. Lila was laughing about something that Marinette said, but when she looked up to see Chloe holding her notebook, the happy sparkle in her eyes quickly vanished.

“What are you doing?!” She exclaimed, running up to snatch the notebook out of Chloe’s hands.

“Every writer needs an editor right?” Chloe said innocently, a hand on her hip. Nathanael pushed past Sabrina and went to stand by Lila’s side. He watched as she looked through her pages. Almost every one of them had the word “LIAR” scribbled across the page in big lettering, making the writing underneath almost impossible to read.

Nathanael looked up at Chloe in rage. “You –”

“Stop.” Lila said quietly, still looking down at her notebook. Nathanael glanced at Marinette. She had the same look of anger that Nathanael probably had on his face as well.

“You represent everything that I despise. You are cruel and thoughtless and arrogant.” Lila began, shoulders shaking and knuckles white as she clutched her notebook. “You enjoy bullying people to make yourself feel better. No wonder you’re Ladybug’s biggest fan. _You’re just like her!_ ”

Nathanael saw Marinette’s eyes widen. Then Nino, Alya, and Adrien walked into the classroom, but they stopped in their tracks once they saw what was going on.

“You! Ladybug! You have all the power and you abuse it! It’s like you guys aren’t even human! I hate you! _I hate Ladybug!_ ” Lila yelled, eyes closed tight in rage. Marinette took a step back, as if she just took a heavy blow from an akuma.

“You’re just jealous because you’re a loser who only has loser friends and has to make up lame stories to feel good about herself. How pathetic. Ladybug is a _hero_ , and you’re not even worth my time.” Chloe said, beginning to walk to her desk.

“Don’t you walk away from me!” Lila yelled, stomping after her. “You’re _nothing_ without your big and important “Daddy”. You’re just a pathetic little snob with no real friends and no redeeming qualities. You just hide behind your dad’s piles of money. _You’re_ the pathetic one. And Ladybug is a _villain_! Paris brags about how they have these two amazing superheroes, but they’re awful! Ladybug is a stuck up jerk with a god complex. And Chat Noir is just a doting lackey who shouldn’t even qualify as a hero. Sometimes I think he’s more like a dog than a cat the way he follows her around. He’s _useless_ , but at least he’s not as horrible as Ladybug. She is the _worst person I’ve ever met_!" Lila took a few deep breaths. There was a crazy glint in her eye.

Adrien’s mouth was wide open in shock, and Marinette was on the verge of tears. They both looked like they were crumbling on the inside. This kindled a flame of anger inside of Nathanael. _No one_ was allowed to hurt his friends like this, not even Lila.

He clenched his fists and looked into Lila’s green eyes. “How could you possibly say those horrible things? I expect this from Chloe, but from you? That was cruel. _Cruel_. Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t deserve that. I know you’re upset, but stop this. You know you don’t really believe that. _Stop lying_.” Nathanael knew once the words had left his mouth that he had gone too far.

Lila looked at him in shock. “Lying?” She whispered. “I never thought _you_ – but you’re just like them, aren’t you? You’re just like Chloe, like Ladybug. You think I’m a liar.” Lila looked like she was a second away from bursting into tears. She stared at him in disbelief for a moment longer, then she stormed out of the classroom, throwing her notebook in the trash on her way out.

“Wait, Lila!” Nathanael said, calling after her. He looked at Marinette.

“I’m fine. Go.” She said shakily, attempting a smile. Nathanael gave her shoulders a squeeze and then ran after Lila.

“Lila!” Nathanael yelled, running through the halls. “Lila, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that, not in the way that I did!” Nathanael checked one of the classrooms, empty. “Lila, please! God, I’m such an _idiot_!” Nathanael exclaimed, hitting one of the lockers.

“Calm down, Nathanael. Anger will not help you find her. Anger rarely helps at all.” Yishu whispered.

Nathanael sighed and stopped in the middle of the empty hallway. “You’re right, Yishu.” He took a moment to collect his thoughts. He had about ten minutes before lunch was over. He began to look through the empty classrooms. Eventually he came to the last room in the hall –Ms. Mendeleiev’s lab.

“Lila?” He said hesitantly, walking through the door. He breathed a sigh of relief once he saw her standing by the window, looking out into the street.

“Hey.” She said quietly.

Nathanael walked to stand by her side. “Lila, I’m so sorry. I don’t think you’re a liar. I shouldn’t have said that.” He apologized, hanging his head.

He felt Lila’s hand on his chin, lifting his head up. She used her other hand to move his hair away from his eyes.

“I know.” She said with a small smile.

“Really?” Nathanael asked, eyes hopeful.

“Yeah. Chloe just makes me so mad. I got a little carried away.” Lila admitted, green eyes looking into his. He became aware of how close they were.

“Chloe should have never done that.” Nathanael said, clenching his fists.

“Hey. It’s okay.” Lila said, cupping his face. Nathanael fought back a blush.

“Are you sure?” He questioned. He didn’t think Lila would be taking this so well.

“Yes. Chloe isn’t worth my time.” Lila said, moving closer to Nathanael. His eyes widened.

“You know what I do want to do though?” She whispered.

“Wh-what?” Nathanael asked, his throat suddenly dry.

Lila gave him a sly smile. “This.” Then she captured his lips with hers. Nathanael gasped in surprise, but then it quickly melted into a pleased hum as he felt her soft lips moving against his own. He moved to cup her face with his hands, and felt a wave a pleasure as she began to run her fingers through his hair.

He moved to press her against the window, hearing her giggle as he went to deepen the kiss. He had imagined this moment many times – kissing Lila. He never realized how soft her lips would be, how smooth her skin. He ran a hand through her long hair, and felt a shiver down his spine as he heard her gasp.

It was all scary and new. He had never kissed a girl before, except Alix when they were little, but that was because of a dare. It felt so  _good_ , so natural. And yet, somewhere in the back of his mind warning bells were going off. Something didn’t seem quite right. He blamed it on his own nervousness and continued to kiss Lila, each kiss something new and equally as intoxicating.

Then he began to hear her whisper in his ear, “Nathanael, Nathanael.” Except it wasn’t Lila’s voice, it was Yishu’s. He ignored it as Lila pulled him towards one of the lab tables. He felt her hair lightly brush his face, soft like butterfly wings. _Butterfly wings_.

“ _Nathanael!"_  Yishu said more urgently. Nathanael quickly broke away from Lila.

“What is it?” Lila asked, moving towards him, but Nathanael took a step back.

“This isn’t right.” Nathanael stated, looking Lila up and down.

“Of course it is, it’s what you’ve wanted, isn’t it?” Lila asked innocently, moving to kiss Nathanael’s neck. Nathanael lightly pushed her off.

“You should be upset. You were upset.”

“And then I got over it. Come on, let’s have some fun.” Lila said with a grin.

Nathanael looked at her with sad eyes. “Hawkmoth already got you, didn’t he?”

Lila paused to look at Nathanael. For a second he hoped that he was wrong. But then he watched as a slow, evil grin spread across Lila’s face.

“You caught me.” Lila said with a wink before she disappeared like smoke.

Nathanael looked around, but she was gone.

“This is how you see me right? You think that I’m a _liar_? Then a liar I shall be.” A voice suddenly said behind him. Nathanael turned around.

“Volpina.” He saw the fox tail resting on her chest. It looked so much like his that he fought the urge to check that his miraculous was still under his shirt.

Volpina gave a low bow, waving her flute in a dramatic fashion. “I’m here for the encore. And don’t worry, I fully intend on destroying you. But you’ll have to wait your turn, Chloe’s first.” Lila leapt to stand by Nathanael’s ear. “Can you guess who the ‘lucky’ big finale is?” she whispered. Then she cackled as she jumped through one of the open windows.

“Lila, don’t do this!” Nathanael called after her, rushing to the window. But it was too late, she was gone.

Nathanael raised a hand to his face. He could still feel the ghost of her lips on his. It was only an illusion, but it had felt _so_ real.  

“We have to find Marinette.” Nathanael said to Yishu, clenching his fists as he continued to stare out the window.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh what will happen next! Hope you guys liked the chapter! ;D


	22. At Eternity's Gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than usual, last week was tech week for the fall play that I was in. I hope you like the chapter. I only plan on there being a few more left and this story will officially be over. Enjoy! :D 
> 
> (Also, I keep switching between calling him Nathanael and Renard throughout this chapter. Although he is Renard the entire time, I wanted to get across the fact that he is still Nathanael. Ladybug/Marinette and Chat Noir/Adrien have pretty distinct personalities when they are citizens vs. when they are heroes. Nathanael doesn't. Just a side note if any of you guys get confused).

Renard raced down the hallway, tail trailing behind him and ears twitching in agitation.

“I can’t believe I have to save Chloe.” Nathanael mumbled to himself in annoyance, but he knew deep down that that wasn’t what was bothering him.

‘This is all my fault.’ He thought to himself, clenching his fists. The words ‘My fault’ echoed in his head and he skidded around a corner.

‘She trusted me and I let her down. I’m just as bad as Chloe.’

Finally, Nathanael reached the classroom and hastily threw open the door. All eyes were on him. At this point the classroom had filled up. Everyone was there, his classmates, Ms. Bustier, but upon further inspection he noticed that someone was missing.

“She took Chloe!” Sabrina yelled, looking at Renard with wide, panicked eyes. He was too late. His eyes skimmed the room and saw that Adrien was gone as well. He hoped that he managed to slip away to transform.

“Renard!” Nathanael turned at the sound and saw that Marinette was standing by her desk, Rose clinging to her in fear. She was stuck.

Nathanael remembered what Lila – no, Volpina – had said about a ‘lucky big finale’. She planned on destroying Ladybug. Part of Nathanael wanted to leave Marinette here with their class – she would be angry but at least she’d be safe. However, he knew better. They needed Ladybug if they had any hopes of taking down Volpina.

“Madame.” Nathanael began, turning to face Ms. Bustier. “I need to talk to this student outside for a moment, so that she can give me an account of what’s happened.” He said while gesturing towards Marinette.

“I have just told my class that they are not allowed to leave the room. One of their friends has just gone missing. I hope you understand that precautions need to be made.” His teacher said. Nathanael held back a scoff at the word ‘friends’.

“I apologize ma’am, but I have to insist. I will keep her safe. _I promise_.”

‘I promise.’ He had never put more feeling into two simple words. The ocean would dry up before he let his blue sky fade.

Ms. Bustier hesitated, but then she slowly nodded her head. She must have seen the intensity in his gaze. Nathanael looked at Marinette. She slowly pulled Rose off of her, gave her a comforting smile, and then followed Renard to the door.

“Renard. Wait.”

Renard turned around to see Alya approach him, phone in hand and questions on her tongue. She looked like she had a million things to ask, but once she looked into Renard’s eyes she pulled away. Even _she_ knew that this was not the time for an interview.

“Be safe.” That was all she could say.

Nathanael gave her a small smile, then he took a deep breath and walked out the door, Marinette following close behind.

“Assuming by the fact that you’re already transformed, I guess you know that Volpina is back.” Marinette said softly as they hurried down the hallway.

Nathanael opened the door to an empty classroom and led her inside.

“Nathanael, I’m so sorry.” She said, her blue eyes a beacon in the dimly lit room.

Nathanael put up a hand in response. “We don’t have time. What happened?”

Marinette’s eyes were sad, but when she saw his pleading gaze she decided to drop it. If they were going to save Lila, they didn’t need Marinette right now, they needed Ladybug.

“It happened so quickly. A cloud of smoke filled the room, I heard Chloe’s scream, and I saw the flash of an orange tail fly out of the window. Once the smoke cleared all I could do was watch as Volpina raced across the rooftops with Chloe in tow.” Marinette let out an agitated sigh. She didn’t like feeling helpless. “I was about to transform but the class broke into a panic. I had to try and calm them down before anyone got hurt.”

“What direction was she heading?” Nathanael asked.

“From what I could tell she was heading for the Notre Dame.”

Nathanael’s heart clenched painfully. “Okay, we don’t have much time. We’ll have to try and come up with a plan on the way.” He paused and put his hands on Marinette’s shoulders.

“Marinette, her illusions are way more powerful than last time. She stronger now, and she’s after you – Ladybug. If she wins, if you get hurt, if I _lose_ you –”

Marinette put her hands on her hips. “Are you underestimating me?” She accused.

Nathanael was thrown off by her steely gaze. “Of-of course not, I just –”

Marinette raised a hand to silence him and gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry. You can never lose me. Besides, I have a feeling that luck is on our side.”

Nathanael rolled his eyes and smirked, but he still didn’t feel completely assured. He knew by now to trust his instincts. He had a bad feeling about this, but now wasn’t the time to argue.

“I just hope that that alley cat is able to help us in time.” Nathanael said.

“You rang?” A voice called from the doorway. There Chat Noir stood, casually leaning against the doorframe. His green eyes glowed from across the room.

“Chat Noir.” Marinette stated.

“It’s nice to see you again, purr-incess.” Chat Noir said, bowing. Marinette rolled her eyes and gagged, but then immediately perked up once Chat Noir lifted his head.

“Wow. Two superheroes in one room!” Marinette said, swooning. Nathanael looked at her in confusion. He’d never seen her act like this. “This is like a dream come true!”

“I know, it’s purr-ty impressive, but we’re just regular citizens of Paris, just a little more, super.” Chat Noir said, flexing.

Nathanael scoffed. “Thank you for your help, Marinette. The mangy cat and I have to go now. Go be, as he says, ‘super’.”

“Right, I hope to see you again sometime. Soon.” Marinette said to Nathanael. He nodded his head in understanding. With that she hurried to the doorway.

“Goodbye, Chat Noir.” She said.

“Until next time.” Chat Noir declared, giving her a light kiss on the hand. She gave one last melodramatic swoon and left the classroom. Then she looked at Nathanael and pointed at Chat, grinning, as if to say, “Can you believe him?” But Nathanael could see the fondness in her gaze. Thankfully Chat didn’t notice that she ran in the opposite direction of where their classroom was.

“Looks like you were trying to impress that girl.” Nathanael commented. Chat Noir gave him a wide grin.

“She is – seems – like a sweet girl. And I wouldn’t be a proper superhero if I didn’t give my fans some attention.”

Nathanael understood now. With Marinette and Chat Noir, there was no romantic tension. They just liked to mess with each other a little. He found it adorable.

Nathanael rolled his eyes in response. “Okay, Chat-sanova, let’s go. We’re headed for the Notre Dame.”

“That’s where Volpina is?” Chat asked, suddenly serious.

Nathanael simply nodded his head in response.

“Let’s hurry.” The alley cat said, bounding towards the window and leaping out. Nathanael followed close behind. They reached the first rooftop when a red blur appeared.

“Did I miss anything?” Ladybug asked, her brow furrowed. Nathanael could tell that the gears were turning in her head.

“Volpina is at the Notre Dame, my lady.”

“It’ll take a few minutes to get there.” Ladybug thought aloud, her brow only furrowing further. “Let’s hurry.” She declared, echoing what Chat had said only a moment ago.

Staff, yo-yo, and grappling hook in hand, the superhero trio made their way across the city, all harboring their own worries in their chests.

_I hope Chloe’s okay._

_I hope Nathanael’s okay._

_I hope Lila’s okay._

_We must win._

 

 

“There she is.” Chat Noir whispered. The three superheroes peeked their heads over the side of a building. He was right, Volpina was perched on the right tower of the Notre Dame. Nathanael could just make out a shock of blonde on the ground beside her. Chloe.

“It looks like she’s waiting for something.” Ladybug commented.

“More like some _one_.” Nathanael said, glancing at Ladybug. She brushed off his concerned gaze and stood up.

“It’s no use standing here.” She declared, readying her yo-yo.

“So what’s the plan?” Chat Noir asked, stretching his arms.

Ladybug scanned the area. “Chat, you head for the left tower, try to get her attention. Renard, you try and sneak up from behind. Try and save the girl. I’ll face her head-on when the moment is right, making a grab for her necklace.”

“Sounds good to me, Bugaboo.”

Nathanael only looked in the distance, wondering how much of Lila was still left in there, wondering if she’ll ever forgive him, wondering if she’ll hate him as much as she hates Ladybug.

“Hey.” Ladybug nudged his shoulder. “We got this.”

Nathanael gave her a half-hearted smile in response. Then he lifted up his grappling hook. “I’m ready.”

Nathanael jumped to the street, then he snuck through a few alleys until he was behind the Notre Dame. Once he was sure that he wouldn’t be spotted, he used his grappling hook to climb to the top of the Notre Dame. He watched as Chat Noir landed on the left tower, taunting Volpina. She growled and leapt to meet the alley cat. As they began to fight on the other tower, Nathanael took the opportunity and lifted himself onto the right tower, where Chloe was.

Head down, he crept up to squat beside Chloe, making a quick scan of the rope that kept her hands and feet bound. He also noticed that she had a blindfold on. When he began to pull at one of the knots Chloe immediately tensed up.

“It’s okay.” Nathanael said quietly. “I’m here to help you.”

“W-who are you?” She asked nervously.

“Renard.”

“Oh, so you’re that new superhero. You haven’t been doing a great job lately, letting me get captured.” Chloe huffed. Nathanael simply rolled his eyes as he removed the rope from her hands. He was about to untie her feet when he heard a chilling voice behind him.

“Look who’s playing superhero.”

Nathanael froze in place, too afraid to turn around.

“My little artist, foolishly thinking that he can simply ignore the darkness inside of him.” Hawkmoth observed, his cool laugh piercing through the air like a harsh wind. “You’ve tricked everyone into thinking that you are _worth_ something, that you can change. That’s what Lila thought too. Then I helped her realize that she was _wrong_.”

“Shut up.” Nathanael barked, shoulders tense. He watched as butterflies swarmed around him, cutting himself off from the rest of the world. There was only him and Hawkmoth.

“Ooh, did I strike a nerve? Or have you finally developed a _backbone_?” Hawkmoth spat. Then he sighed. “We can’t have that, now can we? I can’t let you just get away when you can still be useful.” Nathanael felt a gloved hand on his shoulder. “You have so much potential. With you at my side, I can finally defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir. I can defeat Marinette and Adrien.”

“What, how did you –? Nathanael began, horrified.

“Figure it out?” Hawkmoth asked. “From you of course. Did you forget Nathanael? I’ve always been at your side, watching. Ladybug might’ve cleansed the akuma that was inside of you, but I’ve always been _in your head_.”

Hawkmoth began to laugh, a harsh hysterical laugh that made the butterflies swirl even more aggressively around him. It was disorienting and cold. There was no oxygen; Nathanael struggled to breathe. He gasped for air as he watched his hands shake in front of him.

“See? Even now you are still influenced by me. The butterfly may be gone, but the akuma’s soul is still there, within you. Just let me take off that miraculous for you, and you can finally become who you are. _What_ you are. Doesn’t that seem so much easier?”

Nathanael felt Hawkmoth place a hand around the chain of his necklace. It was a feeling that shocked his whole system. With lightning-quick reflexes, he moved a hand to grab Hawkmoth’s arm in a steel-like grip. Then used his hero-like strength to lift Hawkmoth off of the ground and fling the villain ten feet in front of him, right near the edge of the tower.

“You will _never_ touch me again.” Nathanael growled, getting to his feet. The butterflies swirled around him in a panicked frenzy. He could hear distant voices in the dark cloud. ‘Renard stop. Renard please. Renard don’t do this.’ He was sick of Hawkmoth’s games.

“More importantly, you will _never_ touch my friends again.” Nathanael walked up to Hawkmoth, who was now lying on the ground, gaping at him in awe. But soon that surprise melted into amusement, and Hawkmoth broke into a maniacal grin before he disappeared.

“What are you going to do about it?” Hawkmoth challenged, now standing behind Nathanael on the other side of the tower.

The cloud of akumas pleaded more insistently. ‘Renard snap out of it. Please stop. It’s not real.’ He even heard one of them whisper, almost as if it were inside his head, ‘ _Nathanael_.’ But he ignored them all, all he cared about was revenge. All he cared about was defeating Hawkmoth.

He took all of his anger, all of his fear, and condensed it inside of himself like a heavy storm cloud. He was sick of being manipulated, he was sick of being controlled, he was sick of feeling broken, he was sick of seeing his loved ones get hurt. He let the storm cloud grow in his chest, and then once it reached its maximum height, he let it rain.

The wailing sound flew out of his mouth like a battle cry, but Nathanael noticed that as the sound traveled towards Hawkmoth, the world around him began to change. The butterflies disappeared like smoke. Chloe was gaping at him in horror, blindfold around her neck and her feet still bounded by rope. And lastly, Hawkmoth melted away, leaving Ladybug in his place.

It was a trick, it was an illusion, and as his fox cry headed for Ladybug, heading for Marinette, there was nothing he could do. As it was about to hit Ladybug, a black blur grabbed her and rolled them both to safety. The sound, not hitting its intended target, continued on and collided with one of the gargoyles. He watched in horror as it exploded into dust.  

“What were you doing?” Chat Noir yelled angrily, helping Ladybug to her feet. She looked shaken, and she had a bloody nose, but otherwise Ladybug was okay.

“I-I didn’t mean, I thought she was –” Nathanael didn’t know what to say. He fell to his knees in exhaustion and shame.

“It’s okay.” Ladybug said, her voice wavering as she wiped away the blood under her nose. “It’s Volpina’s fault. She put him under an illusion.” Chat only growled in response.

“Fear is a powerful thing.” A voice said from above them. The trio looked up to see Volpina hovering in the air, a triumphant smirk on her face. “It can make us do the darndest things.”

“Get me out of here!” Chloe whined, struggling with the rope around her feet.

“No, no, no. I can’t let you leave so soon. Almost all of my guests are here.”

“Almost?” Chat Noir asked, hand tightening around his staff.

“I still need to track down that despicable little red-head.” Volpina spat. Nathanael was too numb to feel the sting.

‘I almost hurt her. I almost hurt her. I promised to keep her safe, and all along _I_ was the one who almost hurt her.’ Nathanael thought, close to tears. His throat felt raw.

“I won’t let you touch Nathanael.” Ladybug declared, standing firmly, yo-yo in hand. “Chat, I need you to distract her while I conjure up my Lucky Charm.”

“What about _Renard_?” Chat asked, putting malice behind the last word, almost like it was a curse.

“It wasn’t his fault.” Ladybug answered softly, putting a hand on Chat’s shoulder. “Hawkmoth has put you against me multiple times. You were never the enemy then. Renard isn’t the enemy now. Even Volpina isn’t the enemy, she’s just a pawn.” Ladybug took a breath. “ _Hawkmoth_ , he’s the enemy. The day we lose sight of that is the day we lose.”

Chat looked at his lady for a moment, looking like he was ready to protest, but then he bowed his head in understanding. He knew more than anyone what it was like to be controlled. “You’re right.” He walked up to Renard and offered him his hand. “Let’s do this together.”

Renard looked up at him in awe, then shakily took his hand and got to his feet. “Are you sure?” He said, looking between Ladybug and Chat Noir.

“We’re a team.” Chat responded, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“Do you think you can use your fox cry again?” Ladybug asked.

Renard hesitated. He didn’t feel like he could trust himself at the moment, let alone his powers, but he didn’t want to let her down. “I can try.”

Ladybug nodded and gave him a confident smile. “Wait for my signal.”

“You can plan all you want; you can’t beat me. First I’ll destroy the brat, then the traitor, then the bug.” Volpina said, lazily counting them on her fingers. “Taking down a stupid cat and a pathetic excuse for a fox won’t make any difference to me.” She said, looking up at them. Nathanael shuddered at the predatory glint in her eye.

“Big words from a pretend hero.” Chat retorted, leaping into battle. Ladybug used the opportunity to summon her Lucky Charm. As the chaos erupted around him, Nathanael struggled to stop the shaking in his hands.

_‘Take deep breaths.’_ Yishu’s voice said softly.

“That was you pleading for me to stop, wasn’t it?” Nathanael asked.

_‘Ladybug and I, we both tried to snap you out of it, but nothing worked.’_ Yishu said, her voice wavering in his mind.

“Yishu, I’m so sorry. I’m just like that other chosen. I let the darkness take me. I almost _killed_ Ladybug.” Nathanael could feel fresh, hot tears welling up in his eyes. He had come so far, only to take a million steps back.

_‘This is different. You were tricked. He was fully aware of what he was doing. He_ chose _it. It is not too late for you to make a choice. Choose to keep fighting, Nathanael. Choose hope, choose friendship. That is all anyone can do.’_

“And after all this? After we defeat Volpina, do I even deserve to be your chosen anymore?” Nathanael asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Yishu hummed in thought. _‘Yes, you have struggled, but with that struggle there is light, there is magic. With every stroke you make this world more colorful, Nathanael. You have a good heart, you are more than worthy to wield my power, so keep painting. Make mistakes, try again, just never give up. Never give in. Give in and you_ will _be like him.’_

Nathanael took a moment to chew on her words. Yishu was right. If he gave up now, that would mean that Hawkmoth was right about him. Hawkmoth would win. He was determined not to let that happen again.

“Renard, now!” Ladybug yelled. Nathanael snapped back to reality and saw that Ladybug had her Lucky Charm in hand. It looked like it was a small pouch of sorts. Chat Noir and Volpina were in a stalemate, staff and flute locked in battle. He also noticed that Chat Noir’s ears were perked up – he was ready to dodge Renard’s cry.

It was time to make a choice. With a deep breath, Nathanael declared his decision to the world. His fox cry flew off in waves toward Volpina and Chat. At the same moment Ladybug released the contents of her bag, marbles heading towards Volpina’s feet. Chat managed to leap out of the way just in time, but Volpina wasn’t so lucky. The sound waves made her stumble, and she tripped on the marbles, falling hard on her back.

Ladybug approached Volpina, who was now disoriented as she lay on the ground, and pulled the chain off of her neck.

With a satisfying crunch she crushed the akumatized object with her foot. Then she trapped the akuma in her yo-yo and Paris was freed from evil.

Lila sat up and rubbed her head, looking around in confusion. When she saw Ladybug standing over her, she quickly realized what had happened.

“I’m so sorry.” She said, bursting into tears. Renard rushed to her side. She looked at him with pleading eyes. “I was just _so_ angry, but I didn’t want _this_.” She began gesturing vaguely around her. “When I saw the akuma coming, I tried to run, but there was nothing I could do.”

“It’s okay.” Renard said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It wasn’t you.”

“But it _was_ me!” Lila exclaimed, dismayed. “I remember everything! Fighting you guys, kidnapping Chloe, tricking –” She covered her mouth in horror. “Nathanael! He probably _hates_ me now!”

“Trust me, he doesn’t.” Ladybug said. “He’ll understand.” She bent over to pick up her Lucky Charm, ready to heal her city.

Lila hugged her knees to her chest. “No, I’m all alone again. I tried so hard, but I’ve ruined everything. Everything I touch, I always end up _ruining_ it.” She slammed her fist against the hard roof.

“Lila –” Nathanael began. But then they all heard a strangled noise above them. The white butterfly, the akuma that Ladybug had just cleansed, suddenly began to flicker and twist. Purple cracks began to run down its wings, and it began to pulse from white to black, black to white. Suddenly, it bolted for Lila.

“No!” Nathanael yelled, moving to protect her. But when he opened his eyes, he saw that it had disappeared.

“What _was_ that?” Chat asked, fear in his voice.

“That’s never happened before.” Ladybug said, looking around with her yo-yo at the ready. The marble pouch was clenched in her fist.

Renard slowly pulled away to check on Lila. “Are you okay?”

At first her expression was blank. But soon her shoulders began to shake with laughter.

“Did you really think you could get rid of me so easily?”

Something caught Nathanael’s eye. On Lila’s wrist was the tattoo of a butterfly. It was a terrible, stitched together mess of white and black and purple. Nathanael came to a horrible realization – the akuma, or whatever it was now, it was _inside_ of her. It was under her skin.

The superheroes could only watch as Lila transformed in front of their eyes. Volpina was back once more.

She pulled Renard down so that she could whisper in his ear. “Next time you see me, I’ll be _watching_ as you destroy Ladybug.” With that she disappeared in a puff of smoke. Distant laughter was all that remained.

“This isn’t good.” Chat commented, looking at Ladybug. She was at a loss for words.

Nathanael looked down at the wisps of smoke.

‘What have I done?’


	23. Early Autumn

Nathanael listened to the jingle of bells as he slowly opened the door to Master Fu’s shop.

“Master Fu?” Nathanael called, halfway through the doorway. He could smell incense wafting from a side room. He took a cautious step into the shop.

“I-I need some advice.” Nathanael said, walking up to a detailed scroll on the wall. The thick fabric was adorned with Chinese characters, and at the center a pair of dragonflies danced around each other. It was beautiful, but for some reason it also made Nathanael sad. He wished he could be a dragonfly, lazily flying through cat tails and blooming lily pads.

Nathanael let out a long sigh. Today had been quite a day. He was about to search the whole city for Lila – for Volpina – after he watched her vanish on the Notre Dame, but Ladybug told him that it was no use. She was gone.

The trio decided to go their separate ways. Chat Noir volunteered to bring Chloe back to school, although it took some time to peel her off of Ladybug. Eventually they all managed to find a safe place to de-transform and hurried back to the classroom. Thankfully no one realized that three students were missing. Everyone’s attention was on Chloe as she recounted her kidnapping, being a little more dramatic than was really necessary.

“And then that fox weirdo –” Chloe had begun.

“Renard.” Alya interrupted, furiously typing in her phone, probably giving her ladybloggers the latest update.

“Whatever. What matters is that he almost _killed_ Ladybug. I knew that he couldn’t be trusted right from the start!” Chloe declared, crossing her arms.

Most of the class began to look uneasy. Rose whispered something to Juleka.

“He would never hurt Ladybug. He must have been tricked by Volpina’s illusions. He’s a hero.” Marinette said firmly, her eyes flicking in Nathanael’s direction. But Nathanael wasn’t really paying attention, he was too busy staring at Lila’s empty seat.

“I don’t know how I feel about Renard.” Adrien stated, looking out the window. “He’s unpredictable. And Volpina’s still out there, what is he going to do the next time she strikes?” He asked, worry in his tone. “I don’t want Ladybug to get hurt.” He added softly, looking at his shoes.

“Ladybug could never get hurt! She’s indestructible! No fox can take her down!” Alya said, her fist raised triumphantly. “Besides, I saw Renard before he left to fight Volpina. There’s something in his eyes.” Alya mused. “There’s a-a _sincerity_ there. He’s just trying to do his best. For Paris.”

Nino put his arm around Alya’s shoulders and hummed in agreement.

Then Ms. Bustier walked through the door, looking a little frazzled but still generally put together. “I just talked to Mr. Damocles. Since the akuma is still out there, he wants all of the students to go home for the day. Go _straight_ home and stay safe. Your parents have already been made aware of the situation. Don’t forget to use the buddy system on the way home!” She called after her students as they began to grab their stuff and leave the room in pairs and trios.

Nathanael walked to his desk with heavy steps and put his sketch book and school supplies into his bag.

“Hey, buddy.” Marinette said quietly, taking a few cautious steps towards Nathanael. He smiled weakly in response.

“We’re going to fix this.” She said firmly, tightening her grip on her school bag.

“I’m so sorry.” Nathanael said, his voice hoarse. At this point most of their classmates had filed out of the room, anxious to get home and be with their families. Marinette pursed her lips and walked up to Nathanael, reaching on her tiptoes to wrap him in her arms.

“You never have to apologize, Nathanael.” She whispered. “I always see you looking down. Look up, take a deep breath, and keep moving forward. We need your help. Lila needs your help. I know it’s hard, but when life gets hard, I like to remember who I’m living for.”

Nathanael thought about that: who _was_ he living for? He thought about his mother’s laughter, his father’s distant gaze, the mischievous glint in Chat Noir’s eyes, the cat’s fierce desire to put others before himself, Marinette’s smile, the crinkle in her nose when she gets excited, the way her pigtails trail behind her when she flies through Paris. Lila. _Lila, Lila, Lila_. Rooftop conversations, pastries, Tom Dupain’s hugs, Sabine’s home-cooked meals, fist bumps from Alya, Nino’s love for turtles, his classmates, _Yishu_. Memories warmed his heart like sunlight.

He lived for _them_. All of them. The moments they have given him – they were strapped to his side like an arsenal. He had to keep going. He had to keep fighting. For them. For Paris.

Nathanael gently pulled away from Marinette’s embrace. “Okay.”

One simple word, but Marinette knew that she had gotten through to him. She gave him a wide smile and looped his arm with hers. “Let’s get home and rest up. We’ll have to be on our toes so we’re ready when Volpina shows up again.”

They made their way to the door, but Nathanael stopped at the trashcan.

“Wait.” He bent down and picked up the little black notebook. Lila’s notebook. It seemed to be okay, except Nathanael knew that the inside was full of Chloe’s aggressive scribbles and insults.

‘I’m going to give this back to Lila, after we save her.’ Nathanael thought, holding the notebook tightly in his hand. Marinette gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, knowing whose notebook it was, and together they made their way out of the school.

They headed home in silence, which wasn’t unusual for them, but Nathanael noticed that it was a heavy and tense kind of silence. Both of them were anxious, wondering what would happen now. So much had changed, and Nathanael was struggling to catch up. He had been struggling to catch up ever since he saw Marinette transform in that empty classroom. Nathanael’s past week had been full of questions – he needed some answers.

When they arrived at the bakery the sign to Master Fu’s shop caught Nathanael’s eye. “Hey, Marinette, I think I’m going to pay Master Fu a visit, see if he can give us any advice.” Nathanael said, turning to look at his friend.

“I’ll come with you.” Marinette replied, her blue eyes bright.

“I have a feeling this is something I should do on my own, if that’s okay. I actually have a lot of questions that I’ve been meaning to ask him.” Nathanael said, fixing his beanie.

Marinette seemed conflicted, but after a moment she simply smiled and said, “I understand. But be careful, Volpina is after you – you know – the _civilian_ you. And she probably doesn’t like Renard very much right now either.” Nathanael could see the worry in her eyes. “I’ll stop by later tonight to check in on you.”

“I’m a superhero, Marinette, I can handle Volpina myself.” Nathanael began. Then he remembered kissing Lila, he remembered Hawkmoth’s cold laugh. Both were illusions. Twice he was tricked. And yet they seemed _so real_. “On second thought, maybe someone _should_ be keeping an eye out, just in case.” Nathanael said nervously. How could he trust anything now? How could he trust himself?

“It’ll be fun. Like a sleepover.” Marinette said with a smirk.

“Oh yeah, nothing keeps your mind off of the possible destruction of Paris than popcorn and a bad movie.” Nathanael said, rolling his eyes.

“I can braid your hair!” Yishu exclaimed from under his beanie. Marinette and Nathanael were startled by the unexpected outburst for a moment, and then they erupted into a fit of laughter.

“It’s a plan then.” Marinette said, adjusting the strap on her bag. “Good luck.” She added, glancing towards Master Fu’s shop.

“See you later, Marinette.” Nathanael said with a smile.

Now he was here, admiring the Chinese relics and scrolls. But still no Master Fu.

‘Maybe I should check back later.’ Nathanael reasoned, heading for the door.

“Renard.” A voice said behind Nathanael. The redhead turned to see Master Fu standing in the hallway with a tea kettle in his hand. He had a mysterious glint in his eye, which made Nathanael uneasy. He felt exposed.

Nathanael watched the smoke coming from the kettle. It seemed to curl and dance as it reached for the low ceiling. “You look like your busy. I-I’ll just come back another time –” Nathanael began, reaching for the doorknob.

“You are here for a reason, Renard. It would be unwise to ignore the problems that you are facing.” Master Fu said.

“How do you know that I’m dealing with some problems?” Nathanael questioned, his back still facing the doorway.

“It’s the set of your shoulders. You look like you are carrying the world on them.” Master Fu answered softly.

“He is also a ladyblogger, he read about the fight against Volpina.” A little green turtle said as it floated into the room, coming to rest on Master Fu’s shoulder.

“Wayzz.” Master Fu scolded. “I’m trying to maintain an air of mystery here. What am I without my mystery? I’m just a short old man.”

“But one with an impressive collection of Hawaiian shirts.” Wayzz stated amicably.

“Wayzz.”

“Sorry master.”

“No you’re not.” Master Fu said with a grin.

“You-you have a kwami.” Nathanael observed, turning to look at the little green turtle in awe. “Does that mean that – are you a –?”

“I was a superhero back in my younger years. But that was a long time ago.” Master Fu said wistfully.

“So you were a turtle-themed hero?” Nathanael asked, wondering what Nino would think about all of this. The idea of an old man in green spandex would probably stop his love for turtles pretty quickly.

Master Fu only hummed in confirmation. Then he opened a screen to one of his side rooms. “Follow me.”

Nathanael was about to object – he was having second thoughts – but Master Fu had already left the hallway. Nathanael thought that it would be impolite to run away, as tempting as it was, so after a deep breath he followed Master Fu into the room.

When he entered he saw that Master Fu was already seated on the floor and pouring tea into little cups that were resting on a low table.

“Sit.” Master Fu instructed. Nathanael obeyed.

Master Fu looked at him, and Nathanael tried not to squirm under his penetrating gaze. He couldn’t help but feel inadequate. Master Fu had chosen him to help Ladybug and Chat Noir, but he was beginning to think that he was only making things worse. Lila turning into Volpina, Ladybug almost getting hurt – those were both his fault.

“You think that you have failed as a hero.” Master Fu stated, taking a sip from his cup. Nathanael only bowed his head in response, clutching his miraculous tight in his hand.

“Let me see your kwami.” Master Fu instructed.

Nathanael looked up at him, confused, but after a moment he gently pulled his beanie off of his head. He watched as Yishu floated to rest on the table. Her eyes were only half-open and she let out a quiet yawn as she looked up at Master Fu.

“Yishu, are you feeling okay?” Nathanael asked, a little worried.

“Did you use your special ability more than once during the fight?” Master Fu asked.

Nathanael thought about it. His fox cry, he remembered being surprised that he was able to do it more than once. “Yes.” He answered.

Master Fu raised his hands over Yishu and furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. “Her power is severely drained. The fox cry should only be used sparingly.”

Nathanael’s eyes widened in shock. At this point Yishu had fallen asleep on the table. “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean –”

Master Fu smiled at Nathanael and raised a hand signaling him to stop. “Don't blame yourself, Renard. All she needs is rest. She told you how the fox miraculous is connected to the heart of the chosen, correct?”

Nathanael only nodded his head weakly in response, shoulders tense as he watched his kwami’s steady breathing.  

“The fox kwami gets much of its power from the chosen’s heart. You used your special ability twice and it only made her tired. Your heart must be strong.” Master explained, a glint in his eye.

“Why did you choose me?” Nathanael asked softly, looking up at Master Fu with tired eyes.

“I saw you help Ladybug and Chat Noir against the Weather Man.” Master Fu began. “You were only a civilian, and yet you showed much courage. But it was more than that. What caused me to choose you was what you said to the young reporter.” Master Fu watched as Wayzz entered the room and came to rest by Yishu. “You said how the citizens of Paris must do their part to help Ladybug and Chat Noir. You said how it was not _them_ against Hawkmoth, but _Paris_ against Hawkmoth.”

Master Fu looked at Nathanael like he was waiting for a response, but Nathanael still didn’t understand.

“You inspired people, Nathanael. Not with power, but with hope. You didn’t need a mask; you didn’t need a disguise. The fox miraculous has traditionally been rooted in illusion and deception. It needed someone honest and sincere to wield it, to bring it back into the light.”

“But I’m not special. Ladybug and Chat Noir, they’re…amazing. And they’re so _good_. I just make mistakes. I make it _harder_ for them to do their job.” Nathanael said, pressing his palms hard against his knees.

“Then give up. Hand me your miraculous.” Master Fu responded, his tone neutral.

Nathanael instinctively clutched his necklace to his chest and looked at the old man with wide eyes. Master Fu gave him a knowing smile.

“You may not realize it, but you have already done much to help not only Ladybug and Chat Noir, but the people around you. You have made mistakes, but you have learned from them. You struggle, but you inspire others to struggle with you. Just like how the fox miraculous is affected by your heart, so too are the people you care about affected by you.”

“I-I –” Nathanael stuttered, unsure of how to respond.

“Enough chatting. You have work to do. You cannot second-guess yourself while Volpina is on the loose. She’ll use that to her advantage.” Master Fu said firmly, putting down his cup.

Nathanael nodded his head in agreement, a new sense of determination in his gaze. “How can I fix this? The akuma is _inside_ of her.”

Master Fu thought for a moment, stroking Wayzz’s head absentmindedly. “This has actually happened once before, to a hero.” He said, his gaze distant.

“To a _hero_?” Nathanael asked, shocked.

“Hawkmoth wasn’t always a villain.”

“Wait, what?!” Nathanael exclaimed, standing up.

“Ten years ago the holder of the peacock miraculous and the holder of the butterfly miraculous were like the Ladybug and Chat Noir of today’s Paris. They fought crime and protected the city at night.” Master Fu began, his expression guarded. “Then one night, they weren’t able to save the day. The citizens of Paris turned against them.”

“What happened?” Nathanael asked, looking down at Master Fu.

“No one knows for sure. The holder of the peacock miraculous disappeared, and Hawkmoth, who at that time called himself Papillon Blanc, hid himself away. Somehow the whole city completely forgot about them. It was as if the two heroes never existed. But _I_ still remembered. The night before the peacock miraculous holder – Plume – vanished, she went to see me. She said that Papillon Blanc had changed. The night when everything went wrong, when Paris turned against them, something inside of him broke. She told me how when Papillon Blanc tried to send one of his butterflies to calm the citizens down, it  _transformed_. It became purple and black, and soon he could control it no longer. It went inside of him.”

Nathanael began to pace around the room, the image of the grotesque butterfly on Lila’s wrist seared into his eyelids. “How is that possible?!” Nathanael yelled, both agitated and scared.

“The relationship between each chosen and miraculous is different.” Master Fu began to explain. “Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses are about balance and harmony. The relationship between miraculous and chosen is symbiotic; they grow together. As you already know, the fox miraculous is different. The chosen has control over the miraculous, which makes it unpredictable. The butterfly miraculous is similar, but instead of the chosen controlling the power, the power can control the chosen.”

“What do you mean?”

“The butterfly miraculous has the power to create champions. However, champions can be either good or evil. If the chosen sends a butterfly when they have anger in their heart, they become vulnerable. _They_ can become the one who is controlled. That is why anyone who is chosen for the butterfly miraculous must be in control of their emotions.”

“But what about the kwami? Can’t _they_ do anything about it?”

Master Fu looked down at Yishu, who was fast asleep. “Sadly, the butterfly kwami has the same amount of influence as the fox kwami. They can guide their chosen on the right path, but in the end they are forced to follow their chosen’s will, whether they like it or not.”

“That’s not fair!” Nathanael said, frustrated as he paced around the room.

“I agree.” Master Fu said softly, looking into his teacup. Nathanael began to feel guilty for yelling. It was obvious that Master Fu was upset; it’s never easy to relive painful memories.

Nathanael took a deep breath and sat back down. “So why did this happen to Lila? How can I undo it?”

Master Fu took a long sip from his cup. “This is the second time that she has been akumatized, and both times she has been unable to let go of her anger. Because she has this anger in her heart, the butterfly did to her what it did to Hawkmoth.”

“So will she become, will she be –” Nathanael asked, afraid to even ask the question.

“Like him? It’s not likely. The akuma’s influence should be much less intense than the one that is inside of Hawkmoth. However, if it stays inside of her for too long…I don’t know what would happen.” Master Fu said, furrowing his eyebrows.

“How do I get the akuma out of her?” Nathanael asked, gripping the table. He _had_ to save Lila. There was no other option.

“She needs to find a reason to let go of her anger. It is a battle that _she_ must fight, but you can help her win. Help her find the goodness inside of her, and that will force the akuma out.”

“How do you know that that’ll work?” Nathanael asked.

“I know someone who has been researching the topic.” Master Fu answered vaguely.

Nathanael let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t think that she’ll listen to me.”

“Have faith Renard. You know better than anyone what it’s like to feel angry, to be controlled by your own fear. Use what you have experienced and lead her towards the light.”

“And if I fail?” Nathanael asked, his hands trembling.

“Then Ladybug and Chat Noir will have your back.”

Nathanael looked intently at Master Fu, hoping that he would give him more advice, would tell him what to do, but the old man stayed silent.

Nathanael blew a lock of hair out of his face and stood up. “Thank you for your guidance, Master Fu.” He said, bowing his head. “I will do my best to save her.”

“I know that you will.” Master Fu said, giving him a small smile.

Nathanael gently picked Yishu up and placed her inside of his beanie. He watched as she snuggled into the folds of the yarn hat, and smiled fondly at her. Then he made his way to the sliding door, but before he exited the room, he turned back to face Master Fu.

“Master Fu?”

“Yes?” Master Fu responded, looking at him with curious eyes. Nathanael watched as Wayzz floating to his master’s side.

“Can Hawkmoth be saved too?”

Master Fu looked at him in surprise, and then gave him a tired smile. “I do not know. I hope so.”

“I’m sorry about what happened, you know, with Papillon Blanc and Plume.”

Master Fu looked into his now empty teacup like it held the answers to the questions of the universe. “Do not apologize, Nathanael. Just learn from the mistakes of the past. Be better.”

“I will.” Nathanael promised, holding his miraculous in one hand and his beanie in the other. Master Fu gave him one last ancient smile, and then Nathanael left the room and made his way out of the shop. After taking an indulgent breath of fresh air he quickly headed home – he needed to come up with a plan.

 

 

 

Nathanael was lying on his bed and staring at his drawings on the ceiling when he heard a knock at his window. It had been a few hours since he had left Master Fu’s shop, so his parents had already gone to sleep. When he looked out the window all he could see was an inky blackness. He quickly stood up and went to the window, expecting to see a smiling Ladybug with a warm bag of pastries.

“Ch-chat Noir.” Nathanael stuttered out after he opened the window, revealing an upside-down, grinning alley cat.

“Hello civilian.” Chat Noir said amicably, saluting. Nathanael leaned his head out of the window and saw that Chat Noir was hanging upside down on his roof.

“What are you doing here?” Nathanael asked, confused.

“Aw, is my number one admirer not excited to see me?” Chat Noir said with a pout.

Nathanael sighed and rolled his eyes. “Move over, I’m coming up.”

Chat Noir gave one of his trademark grins and moved to sit upright on one side of the roof. Then Nathanael lifted himself up out of the window and came to sit beside his mangy partner.

“What are you doing here?” Nathanael repeated, looking at the skyline. He was expecting a red blur to arrive any minute now. This could get awkward really quickly.

“I’m guarding you.”

“What?”

“I think that you know by now that Volpina is on the loose, and you’re one of the people on her naughty list.” Chat Noir answered, inspecting his claws.

“I know. It’s just, I thought that Ladybug was going to guard me.” Nathanael had been looking forward to a movie marathon with Marinette, anything to keep his mind occupied for a while.

“She was heading over here when we crossed paths. She told me that she was coming to guard you and I volunteered to do it instead.” Chat Noir said simply.

“And what’d she say?”

“Well, my lady can be stubborn, so she refused at first, but I can be purr-ty convincing when I need to be.” Chat Noir said with a toothy grin. Then his expression became serious. “I told her to go home and get some rest; I could tell that she was exhausted. And she got injured during the fight, so she needs time to recover before we face Volpina again.” Chat Noir glanced at Nathanael. “The trick to persuading Ladybug to do something is to appeal to her logical side.” He said confidingly. “Works almost every time.”

“You really care about her, don’t you?” Nathanael asked softly.

“With all my heart.” Chat Noir admitted, looking out at the city with a fond smile.

“But what were you doing out in the city at night?” Nathanael asked. He watched as Chat Noir furrowed his eyebrows.

“I needed some fresh air. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately." Chat Noir sighed. "Ladybug and I, we used to be on the same page, but ever since Renard showed up something changed. I can’t help but feel like she’s _keeping_ something from me. And now there’s an akuma that can go _inside_ of people. How are we going to fix that? I don’t really understand what’s happening.” Chat Noir admitted, hanging his head. Nathanael felt a pit of guilt in his stomach. He also noticed that Chat was comfortable with confiding in him. 

'Something about being covered by a blanket of stars causes people to trade secrets.' Nathanael mused.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Nathanael sighed and said, “It’s my fault that Volpina is back.”

Chat looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I said some pretty harsh things to her, and she got so upset that she was akumatized.”

“It’s not –” Chat began.

“She didn’t want to be akumatized. She tried to fight it. She tried so hard to keep her emotions in control, to be accepted, and I ruined it!” Nathanael yelled for all of Paris to hear. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. You didn’t mean to.” Chat Noir said, then he gave a weak chuckle. “We’re just kids.” He said, laughing weakly again as he leaned back on his hands.

“What?” Nathanael asked, looking at Chat.

“We’re not allowed to feel bad. We’re not allowed to mess up. But we’re just _kids_. I hate having to bottle up my emotions. I want to be free to feel what _I_ want to feel. I want to be sad or angry or frustrated and not have to worry about an akuma coming my way. We’re all in a cage.”

“But Chat Noir always acts so carefree.” Nathanael said.

“If only you knew who was behind the mask. _That_ kid’s pretty pathetic.” Chat Noir said with a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No he’s not.” Nathanael said with certainty.

“How would you know? I could be anyone.” Chat Noir said, looking at the stars. There was a pain in his eyes, the pain of a boy who was a prisoner in his own house, who had a father as cold as marble.

This was it. Nathanael had been thinking about this ever since he talked to Master Fu. Volpina’s power was rooted in lies. Therefore, the only way for Nathanael to save Lila was to be as honest as possible. The honesty began with Chat Noir. With Adrien.

Nathanael took a deep breath, and then looked at Chat Noir. “I know you. You love Ladybug. You adore the pastries from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. You’re great at physics. You’re allergic to feathers. You know how to play the piano, and how to fence, _and_ how to speak Chinese. You helped my mom get her job back. You’re unsure of yourself. You’re lonely. You are one of the best people I have ever met. _You’re my friend._

Chat Noir looked at him in shock, his green eyes two beacons in the darkness. “H-How –?”

“You’re Adrien, _and_ you’re Chat Noir, and I think that both sides are pretty amazing.” Nathanael finished, giving Chat Noir a warm smile.

“What the –” Chat Noir whispered, putting his hand on his forehead in disbelief. After a moment he added, laughing nervously, “I guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

“Well give yourself a minute, because I have some more news that might shock you.” Nathanael replied with an uneasy smile, very aware of the necklace that was hidden under his shirt.

“Oh lord.” Chat Noir replied, lying down on Nathanael's roof as he stared at the night sky with wide eyes.


	24. The Piano Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy! :D

“So, y-you’re Renard.” Chat asked, looking at Nathanael in disbelief.

“Uh huh.” Nathanael replied, looking up at the stars as he fiddled with his miraculous, which was now in his hand for Chat Noir to see.

“ _You’re_ Renard?” Chat asked again, putting his head in his hands.

“Yep.” Nathanael admitted nervously, glancing at Chat Noir. “I’m sorry.” Chat Noir snapped his head up and looked at Nathanael.

“Why are you apologizing?” He asked, looking confused.

Nathanael looked down at the roof tiles. “I-I know you don’t like Renard very much, and-and I get it, everything’s falling apart because of me. I’ll understand if you want your space, fr-from me.” Nathanael looked up to see Chat Noir’s unreadable gaze and then hunched his shoulders in shame. He knew this wouldn’t be easy, but it was necessary. He deserved to know, even if Adrien didn’t want to be his friend anymore.

“I don’t understand.” Chat Noir said after a moment of silence.

“I know, it’s complicated, and I should have told you sooner, but –”

“No, no.” Chat interrupted. “I mean; I should be apologizing to _you_.”

Nathanael’s eyes widened. “Wh-what?”

Chat Noir sighed. “I never fully trusted you, even when Ladybug told me that I should. I’m sorry, I should have listened. I should have known better.”

“No!” Nathanael said quickly, waving his hands. “You had every right not to trust me. If a random fox showed up claiming to be a superhero, I would be skeptical too.”

“But I was harder on you than I needed to be.” Chat sighed. “It’s just, seeing you with Ladybug – watching you holding her hand – I’ve never seen her so comfortable with anyone besides _me_. I guess I was kind of jealous.”

“Adrien –” Nathanael began, feeling guilty.

“But I know how special you are to Ladybug, so I’ll back off.” Chat interrupted.

“Back off?” Nathanael asked, confused.

“You two make a cute couple. Even _I_ can’t deny that. So you have my blessing.” Chat said, although he looked like he was trying to mask his heartbreak.

“Wh-what?!” Nathanael exclaimed. He could feel his cheeks heating up. “Ladybug and I aren’t – we are definitely _not_ –” He began, but he could tell that Chat didn’t look convinced. Nathanael took a deep breath and blew a lock of hair out of his face. “Adrien.” He began, waiting until Chat looked up to meet his gaze. “Ladybug and I are good friends. That’s _all_. Yeah, we’re close, but we don’t like each other in, in _that way_. I promise.”

He watched as Chat’s eyes glimmered with hope. “Really?”

“Yeah. Actually, I kind of like somebody else.” Nathanael admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Chat paused for a moment. “Oh right.” He finally said with a wide grin. “I almost forgot.”

“So you already know?” Nathanael asked, wondering how obvious it was. If someone as romantically obtuse as Adrien could figure it out, all of Paris must know at this point.

“I’m sorry. You have been a _devoted_ admirer, but I must reject you, for your sake. My heart only beats for Ladybug.” Chat Noir declared dramatically, putting a hand on his chest.

Nathanael rolled his eyes and gave Chat a shove, laughing when he heard a startled mew in response. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Chat chuckled, rubbing his arm. “Seriously though, who is it?”

Nathanael played with the hem of his shirt. “Lila.”

Chat Noir cocked an eyebrow, amusement in his eyes, but then his expression sobered. “We’ll save her.”

Nathanael stiffened his grip on his shirt, turning sad eyes on Chat. “I hope so.”

“We _will_. I promise.”

“I know.”

They stayed like that for a while, taking deep breaths of night air as they both thought about the battle that was on the horizon. Volpina could strike any day now.

Chat chuckled sheepishly and ran a hand through his messy hair. “This has become quite the _cat_ astrophe, now hasn’t it?”

Nathanael rolled his eyes and gave a half-hearted smile. “You know, _that’s_ how I figured out that you were Chat Noir.”

“What do you mean?” Chat asked, his green eyes startling in the darkness.

“The puns.”

Nathanael watched as Chat Noir looked at the sky with a furrowed brow, probably trying to figure out what pun gave him away. Nathanael decided to help him out.

“I’m glad that I could help you with your _burning_ question.” Nathanael quoted.

Chat looked confused for a moment, but recognition quickly dawned on his face. “Aw man! And I’ve been so careful. I can’t believe that _that_ gave me away!” He exclaimed. Then he crossed his arms over his chest. “I was hoping that my first reveal would be more dramatic.” He said with a pout. “And that it would be with Ladybug.” He mumbled.

“You didn’t want it to be with _me_? I’m wounded, Chat Noir.” Nathanael said with a grin.

Chat chuckled, his laughter filling the night sky with music and sunlight. Nathanael could only compare it to the playful thrumming of piano keys. Then panic filled Chat Noir’s eyes. “Wait! Marinette didn’t figure it out too, did she?!”

“Nope. She has no clue.” Nathanael answered, trying to hide the frustration in his tone. This love square was really taking a toll on his mental health. Chat sighed, looking relieved.

“Would it really be that bad?” Nathanael asked, interested.

Chat began to squirm. “N-no, it’s just. I’ve met Marinette, you know, as Chat Noir before, and I think, well, I think that she has a huge crush on the hero. I don’t know what would happen if she realized that it was just me, Adrien. She’d probably be disappointed.”

Nathanael was dumbfounded. “You think that Marinette has a crush on Chat Noir?”

“Well, yeah. Like, earlier today, when you and Marinette were in that empty classroom talking about Volpina’s whereabouts and I came in. She was a little star-struck. She even looked like she was about to faint when I kissed her hand. Maybe I should tone it down a bit.” Chat admitted nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Nathanael bit his lip as he tried not to laugh. But it was _so hard_. “You just don’t know your own charm.” He managed his squeak out, trying maintain a serious expression.

“It’s just,” Chat continued, “Marinette is one of my first friends, and we’ve gotten closer recently. She used to get really shy around me at school. I think she was, intimidated by me? So I’m worried she wouldn’t be able to talk to me anymore if she knew I was Chat Noir. It would be awkward I guess.” Chat said, looking down. “I don’t want to lose a friend.”

“Marinette would never stop talking to you. She loves you – I-I mean, she _cares_ about you. She cares about all of her friends.” Nathanael said, taking a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to reveal Marinette’s painfully obvious crush to Adrien. “Besides, Marinette does _not_ have a crush on Chat Noir.” He added with a scoff.

“She doesn’t?”

“Let’s just say that she likes someone else.” Nathanael said vaguely, not looking at Chat.

“Oh, I see. You’re caught in a love triangle.” Chat said, seeming to understand.

“Exact – wait, what?”

“Marinette has a crush on you. It makes sense; you guys _have_ been spending a lot of time together. And you used to have a crush on her too, right? But now you like Lila. Quite dramatic.” Chat said with a smile.

“N-no! Marinette doesn’t have a crush on me! We’re just friends!” Nathanael exclaimed, wondering why Chat was so insistent on pairing Nathanael up with the love of his life.

“Oh.” Chat said, confused. “Then who _does_ she like?”

“I-I can’t just tell you! Marinette’s my best friend I won’t just give away her secrets to some leather-clad, cat-themed superhero!” Nathanael exclaimed, flustered.

“Then it’s settled. She _does_ have a crush on Chat Noir.” Chat said with a grin.

Nathanael put his head in his hands. “Sure, let’s just go with that.” He conceded with a sigh.

The night became silent once more. Nathanael looked up at the moon and began to wonder where Lila was. He hoped that she was somewhere warm. Her parents must be worried about her.

“How did you and Ladybug get so close anyway?” Chat asked, looking down at the city street.

“Well,” Nathanael began, wondering how much he should give away, “you remember that day when a student from our school became an akuma, the one who could silence people?” Chat nodded his head. “I had just woken up in the classroom when Ladybug came in. We talked for a minute, and then we kind of became friends.” Nathanael admitted. Technically none of that was a lie.

“That quickly?”

“Well, she, uh, she visited me at my house that day – to – to check up on me. We talked for a while on this roof. We found that we had a lot in common.”

“Wow. Ladybug’s never befriended a civilian before.” Chat stated. He sounded impressed. “Then what happened?” He asked, turning his curious eyes on Nathanael.

“Um, we spent some time together. And then I got the miraculous –”

“So I’m guessing she knows that you’re Renard?”

“Yup. That night you saw me holding her hand, that’s when I told her.”

“Oh.” Chat said, beginning to understand. He looked relieved.

“Yeah, so we’re just friends. No romantic rival here.” Nathanael said sheepishly.

Chat was quiet for a moment, trying to absorb all of this new information. “You’ve been doing a great job, Nathanael. You know, as a hero.” He paused. “And as a friend.”

“I’m trying.” Nathanael said, rubbing the back of his neck. Compliments always made him uncomfortable. He never knew what to say.

“Soon you and Ladybug won’t even need me.” Chat said with a sigh.

“Stop that.” Nathanael said sternly.

“What?” Chat asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

“All of – _that_.” Nathanael explained, waving his arms in Chat’s direction. “You’re a great hero. Ladybug _needs_ you.” He sighed. “I’m not here to replace you, Adrien. I’m here to _help_ you. And if anything I’ve failed pretty badly.”

“Stop that.” Chat mimicked.

“I’ll stop if you stop.” Nathanael said stubbornly.

Chat let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ve _tried_. Ladybug, Marinette, you – all of you have tried to show me that Chat Noir’s _worth_ something. But I can’t help but feel like I’m just not good enough.”

“Adrien, you’re _more_ than good enough. But the only person who can convince yourself of that is you.”

Chat only nodded his head half-heartedly.

“And I’ll tell Marinette to stop giving you free pastries until you learn to have a little more confidence in yourself.” Nathanael said with a grin. It was a weird feeling, telling Adrien to have more confidence in himself. He used to think that Adrien was perfect. Now he knew that everyone had scars, even blond models.

“Please no! Anything but that!” Chat exclaimed, his eyes wide in shock. Nathanael watched Chat’s ears twitch.

“Okay, okay. It won’t come to that.” Nathanael said with a chuckle. “Yet.”

Chat gave him a warm smile. Then his eyes had a spark of mischief. “Soooo.” He drawled, scooting closer to Nathanael. “Does this mean that you know Ladybug’s identity?” Nathanael only gave him a pointed look in response. Chat quickly scooted away and put his hands up in defense. “It was worth a shot.”

“But then where’s the fun in the chase?” Nathanael eventually asked. Chat’s green eyes gleamed.

“This has been quite a week, hasn’t it?” Chat observed, watching as a couple strolled down the street.

“You’re telling me.” Nathanael answered with a scoff.

“But everything will be alright in the end.” Chat continued, smiling.

“How can you be so sure?” Nathanael asked, turning to face him.

“Because we all come across obstacles in our life. We don’t have control over that, but we do have control over how we handle them.” Chat took a deep breath. “If you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you'll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle –”

“You’ll have a heart made fullmetal.” Nathanael said slowly, finishing the quote.

Chat looked at him, surprised. “You know where that’s from?”

“Yeah, it’s from _Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood_ , right?”

Nathanael watched Chat’s face brighten. “You watch anime?!”

“Y-yeah, I like the art. It gives me inspiration for some of my comics.” Nathanael admitted.

“I love anime!” Chat exclaimed, excited.

“Really?” Nathanael asked. He never pegged Adrien as someone who would like anime. But when he thought about it, Chat Noir _did_ act like a character right out of an anime. His over-the-top-flirting, his dramatic nature – it all made sense now.

“I’m on the second season of this volleyball anime called _Haikyuu!!_. I never realized that volleyball could be so dramatic!” Chat said, waving his arms.

Nathanael smiled as he listened to the cat talk about his favorite shows. ‘He’s such a dork.’ He thought fondly.

“Have you ever seen _You Lie in April_?” Nathanael eventually asked.

Chat thought for a moment. “I think I’ve heard of it.”

“You’d like it. It’s about a talented musician who gave up the piano, but then a girl comes into his life and helps him learn to love music again.” Nathanael remembered the first time he watched it. The scenery was gorgeous. The night sky, the flower petals, the water, everything was breathtaking. He went on his roof and spent an entire night drawing the sky after he finished the show, trying the capture its beauty the way that the anime did.

“I love the piano.” Chat said with a wistful smile, moving his fingers against his leg as if he was playing a silent melody.

“You know; I have Netflix on my computer. We could watch it in my room if you want.” Nathanael said with a grin.

Chat was practically bouncing in his seat, but then he became serious. “But I’m here to guard you, in case Volpina comes.”

“She’s not coming, at least not tonight.” Nathanael said with a sigh.

“How can you be so sure?”

Nathanael blinked a few times. How _was_ he so sure? He just had this weird sense. Something about the air, or maybe the way the stars were shining? He could just tell that tonight was not the night for fighting.

“I think it’s my fox sense. My kwami told me that my perception gets stronger the longer I’m the holder of the miraculous. It’s pretty weird.” Nathanael mused, looking at his necklace.

“I get it, stuff like that’s been happening to me too. I have really good hearing now, and I can see well in the dark.” Chat observed, his green eyes practically glowing.

“Do you think this stuff is permanent?” Nathanael asked. He didn’t know how he felt about having this power for the rest of his life – there was such a thing as knowing too much.

“I have no clue.” Chat answered, looking at his claws.

Nathanael slowly stood up and offered Chat a hand. “I think that that’s enough superhero talk for today, otherwise my head’s going to explode.”

Chat chuckled and accepted Nathanael’s hand, rising up from his spot to stand next to him. “You’re right. When I offered to guard you tonight, I had no clue I’d be having a rooftop chat with Renard.”

“But now you get to watch anime with Nathanael.” Nathanael declared as he lifted himself down to his window. Chat cheered and leaped into Nathanael’s room with the agility of a cat, almost causing Nathanael to lose his balance and fall off his roof – again.

“Mangy cat.” Nathanael grumbled, but he had a grin on his face.

“So where’s your kwami?” Chat asked once Nathanael stepped off the window ledge and into his bedroom.

“She’s on my beanie.” Nathanael said, gesturing to his desk. “I would have brought her on the roof to meet you, but she needs her rest. I kind of overdid it during the fight against Volpina.” He said sheepishly, still guilty about exhausting Yishu so much. She’d been sound asleep ever since his visit with Master Fu.

Chat slinked over to the desk and peeked his eyes over the chair, looking at the beanie. Nathanael noticed how much he looked like a little kitten.

“What’s her name?”

“Yishu.”

“Gesundheit.”

Nathanael rolled his eyes and gave Chat an unamused look while the alley cat beamed back at him.

“Yishu, huh? She’s cute.” Chat observed, stroking behind one of her ears. “I wonder if she’d get along with Plagg.”

“Apparently their chosens fought together during the American Revolution.” Nathanael commented.

“Wow. Wait, so they haven’t seen each other since?” Chat asked, looking sad. Nathanael watched as a green light surrounded Chat, and soon Adrien was standing in his place.

“I’m starving.” Plagg said, doing a loop in the air. Then he stopped abruptly. “Wait, this isn’t your room. Where am I?” He floated up to Nathanael’s nose, looking him up and down. “You got any cheese?”

“Um, I, uh…” Nathanael stuttered, caught off guard.

“I have some cheese right here, you greedy cat.” Adrien said, pulling a piece of camembert from his jacket pocket. Plagg whizzed over to his chosen and took the camembert, humming happily as he scarfed it down.

“Do you remember Yishu?” Adrien asked Plagg.

“Gesundheit.” Plagg said, distracted by his cheese.

“She changes a lot with each chosen, so Plagg wouldn’t remember Yishu as, well, Yishu.” Nathanael offered, fiddling with his necklace. Plagg noticed the miraculous in his hand and stopped eating his cheese.

“So you’re that new fox superhero.” He asked, narrowing his eyes. “I thought that I sensed something off about you.”

Nathanael rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Ah, well, yeah…”

“Where’s Geming?” Plagg asked, looking around.

“Oh, you mean – yeah, she’s changed since you last saw her.” Nathanael answered, looking at the beanie. Plagg followed his gaze and floated over to his desk.

“Please don’t wake her up. She needs to rest.” Nathanael said.

Plagg landed softly on the desk and made his way to the beanie. Nathanael watched as his little cat’s ears flattened when he saw Yishu.

“Is she okay?” He asked quietly. Adrien looked surprised by his gentleness.

“Y-yeah, Yishu’s fine. Don’t worry.” Nathanael said quickly.

Plagg nodded his head and curled up beside her. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Adrien looked at Nathanael and cocked an eyebrow. “Well that was weird.” He observed.

“Yeah.” Nathanael wondered exactly what kind of past their kwamis shared. He made a mental note to ask Yishu about it later. Then he walked to his bed and picked up his laptop. “Are you ready for the saddest anime you’ll ever watch?” Nathanael asked with a grin.

Adrien gave him a wide smile. “Of course.”

 

 

Nathanael opened his tired eyes and looked around. He was in his bed and from his window it looked like the sun was just breaking through the horizon. ‘I guess it was a dream.’ Nathanael mused. ‘A really weird dream.’ Then he heard a soft sniffle at the edge of his bed. When he sat up he saw a pair of watery green eyes looking at him from the side of his bed, clawed hands gripping his sheet.

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Chat asked, despair in his voice.

“Warn you?” Nathanael asked, looking nervously out of the window. Did Volpina show up? Were his instincts wrong?

“Why didn’t you warn me that it was so sad?!” Chat exclaimed, flopping dramatically on the floor.

Nathanael clutched his forehead in confusion, but then his eyes fell on his opened laptop on the floor. ‘Oh right. We were watching _Your Lie in April_.’ Nathanael remembered now. It was one in the morning when Nathanael had begun to doze off.

“Go sleep.” Adrien had told him as another episode was beginning.

“No, I can’t just fall asleep while you’re guarding me.” Nathanael had replied with a yawn.

“I’m fine. I actually had time to sleep before I got here.” Adrien said. Nathanael couldn’t tell if he was lying or not. “ _Go sleep_.” Adrien repeated. “You’ll need your strength.”

“You should sleep too.”

“I told you, I took a cat nap at home.” Nathanael rolled his eyes at the pun. “Besides,” Adrien continued. “I am _way_ too invested now.”

Nathanael was stubborn at first, but then he let out another yawn and finally gave in. “Okay, maybe I’ll sleep for just a little while.” He conceded, climbing into his bed.

“Good. Sleep tight.” Adrien said, wide eyes looking at the computer screen.

Now Chat Noir was lying on his bedroom floor, covering his eyes dramatically as sunlight peeked through the window.

“I told you that it was the saddest anime that you’d ever watch.” Nathanael stated, climbing out of bed and offering Chat his hand.

“I didn’t think that it was going to be _that_ sad.” Chat pouted, sitting up and crossing his arms.

Nathanael simply rolled his eyes and chuckled. “You’re impossible.”

Chat gave him a wide grin.

“So you’re transformed, are you heading out?” Nathanael asked. Chat finally accepted his hand and stood up.

“Yeah, I should head home before father realizes that I’ve been out all night. Or rather, before Nathalie realizes.” Chat said, mumbling the last part.

“Then I’ll see you at school later.” Nathanael replied with a smile. Chat’s expression immediately brightened.

“Right. Wow, that’ll be weird.” Chat observed, running a hand through his hair. “Until then.” He said, climbing onto the window ledge.

“Hey, Chat?” Nathanael asked. Chat turned to face him. “This might be a weird question, but why _do_ you like anime so much?”

Chat smiled and looked out at the coming sunrise. “Anime, cartoons, Disney movies, it’s a little embarrassing but I like them all. They have a story to tell, and the story is always…love, and kindness, and-and _goodness_. There are heroes, and although they struggle, they always find a way to win. It’s a little hopeful for people like us, isn’t it?” Chat asked, turning back to face Nathanael.

Nathanael gave him a warm smile. “Right.”

“Well, see ya later, partner.” He said, giving Nathanael a salute. With that, Chat leapt off of the roof. Nathanael watched as he used his staff to vault to the next building, and then the next, until he was only a black blur.

“See ya later. Partner.” Nathanael said, smiling as he watched the yellowing sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally support the headcanon that Adrien and Nathanael both like anime. 
> 
> Also, shoutout to GalacticDreamer for the Yishu/bless you joke. I've been waiting to use that joke for thirteen chapters haha.


	25. Poplars in the Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful people! I know this took longer to post than usual, but it's also about three times longer than usual so I hope that that makes up for it. I really wanted to get this chapter right, so I would love love love any feedback! I really hope that you guys like the chapter and are all having a miraculous day! <3 <3

“Come on, Nathanael! It is time to go to school!” Yishu declared, nudging his cheek with her snout.

“So. Tired.” Nathanael groaned, nuzzling deeper into his warm pillow. He was beginning to regret staying up so late with Chat Noir last night. But then he remembered the happy glint in Adrien’s eyes when Nathanael opened up his computer. No, he could never regret that.

“Education is a very important part of a human’s life. A luxury that not everyone can have.” Yishu scolded, bouncing on Nathanael’s shoulder.

Nathanael groaned again and was about to pull the covers over his head, but then he shot upright in his bed, flinging Yishu into the air.

“My goodness!” Yishu exclaimed, floating above the bed as she looked down at Nathanael, who was now wide awake.

“Yishu! How are you feeling?” Nathanael asked with wide eyes. He hadn’t talked to Yishu since she fell asleep in Master Fu’s shop.

 Yishu gave him a fond smile and went to rest on his head. “I am much better. I just needed a little rest.” She explained, beginning to braid his hair.

“I’m so sorry, Yishu. I didn’t know –”

“There is no need for an apology. I am fine. You are fine. That is all that matters for now.” Yishu interrupted.

Nathanael sighed, smoothing out his covers. “But Lila isn’t fine.” He said quietly.

Yishu stopped her braiding and floated in front of Nathanael’s face. “We will change that, together. Have faith.” She said, touching her forehead gently with his.

Nathanael looked up at her and smiled. “Okay.” Then Yishu moved his hair out of his face and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead.

“That tickles.” He complained with a laugh, moving to get out of bed. Then he grabbed a clean pair of clothes and headed out of his bedroom towards the bathroom. When he got to the doorway he saw that his mom was there, admiring the wall. Yishu quickly moved to hide under Nathanael’s shirt.

“When did you make this?” His mom asked softly, ghosting her fingers over the orange stars. Nathanael looked at the midnight blues of his _Starry Night_.

“A little over two years ago.” He answered nervously, shifting from one foot to the other. He had never exactly asked his parents for permission.

“Two years? I can’t believe I never noticed.” His mom mused softly. Then she looked up at Nathanael. “This is amazing.”

“R-really?” Nathanael asked, his eyes wide. He tightened his grip on his beanie.

“It’s beautiful, Nathanael.” His mother declared, then she began to laugh. “I still remember when you used to draw on the walls when we weren’t looking. Your dad hated having to wash them off. He would say, ‘who knows, this lopsided cat could be a masterpiece some day!’” She said, lowering her voice in an attempt to sound like her husband. She laughed again. “Who knew those crayon drawings…could turn into this?” She finished with a sigh, her smile bright but her eyes sad. “You have some real talent, sweetie. I’m so sorry I haven’t been around to really appreciate it.”

Nathanael walked up to his mom and put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re here now.” He offered with a shy smile.

His mom pulled him into a hug. “Right. I’m here now.” She squeezed tighter. Nathanael heard Yishu give a startled yelp and he quickly pulled away.

“Oops, sorry. Too tight?”

“No no, I just need to, um –” Nathanael tried to explain.

“Oh! Right, sorry, I’ll let you get ready for school.” His mother said, moving towards the doorway. “And I’m making pancakes, the first batch should be done in a few minutes.”

“Could you possibly add –” Nathanael began.

“Some cinnamon? Already did.” His mother interrupted, giving him a pat on the cheek before heading to the kitchen.

Nathanael smiled. Now that his mom had mentioned it, he could smell the cinnamon and sugar from here. He quickly got ready for school, mouth already watering in anticipation.

Yishu left her hiding place from under Nathanael’s shirt as he began to wash his face.

“Are you okay, Yishu?” Nathanael asked, reaching for his toothbrush.

“I am fine. Your mom gives mighty hugs.” Yishu observed, landing to rest on his head.

“Yeah, she sure does.” Nathanael agreed, looking at the mirror with a smile. It reminded him of when he was little and she used to pick him up and spin him around as he giggled with glee. In those moments he’d felt like he was flying.

Once he was dressed and ready to greet the day he gently placed his beanie over his head, making sure that Yishu was comfortably hidden. He felt Yishu begin yet another braid as he headed for the kitchen, his eyes immediately falling on a stack of golden pancakes.

“Have as much as you want.” His mother declared, laughing as she watched him quickly take a seat and begin to pile pancakes onto his plate. She walked over and gave him a fork and knife, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“Your father apologizes for having to leave early, but he promises that he’ll be home around the time school ends. Apparently he has something special planned.” She said with a playful shrug.

Nathanael only nodded as he almost choked on a mouthful of cinnamon pancakes. His mother snorted and brought him a glass of milk.

“Here you go, chipmunk cheeks.”

Nathanael blushed and accepted the glass, taking an indulgent sip.

“You need to drink more milk, you’re too skinny these days.” His mother observed, putting more flour into her mixing bowl.

“Moooom.” Nathanael groaned, biting back a smile. Then he looked down at his now empty plate with a mournful expression.

“Do you want more, honey?” His mom asked, cracking eggs into the bowl.

Nathanael looked longingly at the pancakes on the griddle, but then stood up and grabbed his backpack. “I would love some more, but I have to head to Marinette’s place. We’re walking to school together and I don’t want to be late.”

“Okay sweetie, they’ll be plenty of leftovers for breakfast tomorrow.”

Nathanael pumped his fist. “You’re the best mom!” He declared as he headed towards the front door.

“Have a nice day at school!” She called after him. Nathanael could hear her begin to hum a French tune as he closed the door behind him.

“Those smelled wonderful.” Yishu said from under his beanie.

“Don’t worry. I saved you some.” Nathanael said, pulling a smaller pancake out of his pocket.

“Just don’t get too many crumbs in hair.” Nathanael warned with a laugh as he handed the mini pancake off to Yishu.

There was silence for a moment as Yishu began to chew. “So good!” Yishu exclaimed.

“Yeah.” Nathanael said with a fond smile, glancing back at his home as he began to walk towards the bakery. “So good.”

After another minute of walking Nathanael remembered something. “Hey, Yishu?”

“Yes?” Yishu managed to say. Nathanael could tell by her voice that her mouth was full.

“Remember when you told me about how your chosen and Plagg’s chosen were partners during the American Revolution?” Nathanael began, pulling at one of his sleeves.

“Of course.” Yishu answered, unsure of what Nathanael was asking.

“Well, you never really talked about your relationship with Plagg.”

“Why do you ask?” Yishu replied cautiously. This caught Nathanael’s attention.

“Last night when you were sleeping Chat Noir stopped by. You know, to guard me while Volpina’s on the loose.” Nathanael began to explain. He paused, waiting for Yishu to say something. But when he only heard silence he decided to keep going.

“I decided to tell Adrien that I’m Renard. I felt that it was the right thing to do.”

“I trust your decisions, Nathanael.” Yishu answered with certainty. Nathanael let out a sigh of relief. He was worried that Yishu might disapprove.

“So eventually Adrien decided to de-transform and I met Plagg.”

“He’s quite the character, isn’t he?” Yishu said fondly. Nathanael chuckled.

“I certainly never met a cat who liked cheese so much before. Or one that floated.” Nathanael mused, then he shook his head. “But what I’m trying to say is that when he saw you he suddenly got really…serious? He just went to lay beside you and fell asleep. Adrien told me that he didn’t usually act like that.”

Yishu hummed pensively, almost like she was thinking of the right words to say. “Well…Plagg is my best friend.”

“Woah, really?” Nathanael said. “But I thought that Ladybug and Chat Noir are supposed to be the ones that complement each other.”

 “Tiki and Plagg are linked, yes. Their bond is something unique and irreplaceable, like with Adrien and Marinette. But you would not say that your friendship with Marinette is less special, would you? Or even your friendship with Adrien?”

“Of course not!” Nathanael exclaimed, suddenly defensive. His friendships with Paris’ superheroes were very important to him. He couldn’t imagine a life without those two dorks.

“Then you understand. Plagg and I are not linked in the same way, but we have created our own bond. Something just as special to both of us. Our chosen do not always cross paths, so we do not see each other often, but when they do,” Yishu paused. Nathanael could picture her wide smile. “it is something miraculous.”

“So back during the American Revolution…” Nathanael began.

“There was no Ladybug at that time, so our chosen teamed up.” Yishu explained, stroking Nathanael’s hair. “I was an Arctic Fox. She had a slingshot. My name was…”

“Geming.” Nathanael finished. “That’s what Plagg called you.”

Yishu hummed happily. “My chosen was a straight-laced, by-the-book kind of girl. Then she met Plagg’s chosen. She was a fiery one, impulsive, always liked to bend the rules. They were great together.”

“What happened to them?” Nathanael asked, nervous to know the answer. All of these stories seemed to end in tragedy.

“They worked together for many years, and during that time they fell in love.” Yishu began, slowly unbraiding some of Nathanael’s hair and running her paw along the waves. “After the war ended they decided to buy a small farm in the colonies and settle down. Their relationship was not exactly accepted given the time period, but after Plagg’s chosen made some colorful threats people knew better than to mess with them.” Yihu said with a giggle. “One day they were on their way to a town hall meeting and they found a little boy abandoned on a street corner, starving and cold. They took him back to their home and discovered that his family died during the war, so they decided to adopt him. He was a cute little thing.”

“What about you and Plagg?” Nathanael asked.

“Together we were a family. Plagg and I got to spend a lot of time together, and since the farm was so secluded we did not have to worry about staying hidden.” Yishu sighed happily. “We got to watch our chosen marry each other with the help of a close friend from the front lines. We got to play with their son in the wheat fields. We listened to our heroes speak about equality and freedom and healing.”

“Wow.”

“We learned a lot from them, but eventually it got to the point when we were needed somewhere else. New wars to be fought, new people to be saved. They had to give us up.”

“That’s not fair. That was your family.” Nathanael asked, his heart heavy.

“Plagg and I have a responsibility to help heroes. It was time to go.” Yishu said simply.

“Was that the last time you saw Plagg?”

“Our chosen crossed paths once in the 1920s to team up against a villain, but that was it. Ever since the incident with my chosen and Ladybug’s I liked to keep moving, and I think that that desire influenced my heroes.”

“But once I told you that I knew Chat Noir, once you saw Adrien for the first time, didn’t you want to see Plagg?” Nathanael asked.

“To be honest I was worried. I always change so much; I was nervous that he would not recognize me, that it would not be the same.” Yishu admitted softly.

“Plagg was happy to see you, trust me. Once he saw my miraculous he actually stopped eating his cheese.”

Yishu giggled. “Adrien is lucky. Back in the 18th century he was obsessed with garlic.”

“Gross.” Nathanael said with a chuckle. When he looked up he saw the bakery sign only a few feet ahead.

“Looks like we’re here, Yishu. Sorry that I asked you so many questions.” Nathanael said quietly, rubbing his neck. He was beginning to feel guilty whenever he heard another story about past chosen. It seemed like it was too special, too personal.

“I am happy that you did. I particularly like that story.”

Nathanael grinned and pushed open the front entrance to the bakery. He listened to the familiar bells ring as he walked through the doorway.

“Nathanael! Good to see you!” Tom bellowed from the cash register as he handed a customer a bag of pastries.

“Good morning!” Nathanael said with a wave. “Has Marinette come down yet?”

“She told me to tell you that she’d be down in a minute.” He replied. “You want to help with me something while you wait?”

“Of course.” Nathanael answered, always happy to help a Dupain.

“There’s a tray of cookies in the back room, could you bring them behind the display case and restock the shelves?” He asked as he handed over some change to the next customer.

“I’d be happy to.” Nathanael said, making his way behind the counter and towards the door titled, “Employees Only”. Although Tom was the one who asked him to, it still felt weird to enter. It almost felt like he was trespassing. Once he pushed the door open he was enveloped in the heavenly smell of sugar and frosting.

“Oh man.” Nathanael said to himself, looking at the rows and rows of sweets. He felt like he would get a cavity just from standing there. He scanned the room and found the tray of cookies. After checking to see if the pan was cooled enough, he lifted the tray and headed back to the door.

‘They’re still _warm_.’ Nathanael almost groaned, watching as the chocolate chips melted before his eyes.

_‘In other news, an akuma is still at large in the city. Going by the name of Volpina, this villain managed to escape Ladybug, Chat Noir, and their new partner. Her whereabouts are unknown…’_

The tray clattered to the floor as Nathanael looked at the small television on the counter next to him. Plastered on the screen was a picture of Volpina, her flute held menacingly in her hand.

_‘…Volpina made her first appearance less than a month ago. The details are unclear as to why she has appeared once more, but citizens are uneasy now that they know that people can be akumatized more than once. What does this mean for Paris?’_

The screen changed to show some footage of a recent interview. A crowd of reporters were at a couple’s doorstep. The man was tall and had olive skin, salt and pepper hair, and an impressive mustache. The woman next to him was also taller than average, and had long, chestnut brown hair, pretty greens eyes, and a tanned complexion. They both looked a little distraught, but they managed to stand tall as they answered the onslaught of questions. It looked almost as if they were used to handling droves of pushy reporters in their day-to-day lives.

 _‘All we want is our daughter to be safely returned to us.’_ The man began. Nathanael noticed his slight Italian accent.

 _‘She is not a villain. I-I know that she would never want this.’_ The woman said a little shakily, struggling with her French. Nathanael saw that the couple was holding hands, clinging to each other like a lifeline.

 _‘I thought that Paris would be a good place to get away so that our daughter could have a chance at a normal life,’_ The woman continued. _‘But I realize now that I was mistaken. After this is all resolved we will return to Italy. Hopefully there she will be safe from this villain.’_ Nathanael could tell that the woman’s lip was trembling.

 _‘That is all we will say about this. Please leave before our security is forced to removed you.’_ The man said curtly, leading the woman back inside before he closed the door.

“Nathanael I heard a crash is everything –?” Marinette asked, hurrying into the back room.

_‘Those were a few words from famous Italian actors Luca and Valentina Rossi on the disappearance of their daughter, Lila –”_

Nathanael watched as the screen turned black. He looked at Marinette, who held the remote in her hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that it was switched to the news.” She said softly. Then she bent down and began to pick up the cookies.

“I didn’t mean to drop them.” Nathanael said numbly, bending down to help her. His fingers felt clumsy as he picked up the nearest cookie.

“Don’t worry, we have more in the oven. And some of these never touched the floor. I can give them to Tiki later.” Marinette assured him, putting some of the cookies in her purse. Together they quickly picked up the leftover sweets and threw them away. Then Marinette carried the tray to the sink and began to rinse it off.

“They’re going to take her back to Italy.” Nathanael said quietly, staring off into space.

Marinette dried off her hands with a towel and walked over to Nathanael. “You don’t know that for sure. Things change.” She assured him.

Nathanael sunk to the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. “I don’t know if I can take much more of this.” He said softly, hanging his head. “How do you do this, Marinette?”

Marinette went to sit beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. “It’s never been easy. But I always knew that Chat Noir had my back. When he’s by my side I feel like I can face anything. And now I have you. I can get through _anything_ as long as I have friends.” Then she took a cookie out of her purse and waved it in front of Nathanael’s nose. “This one never touched the floor, I promise.”

Nathanael looked up at her and saw the goofy grin on her face. Then he gave her a tired smile and took the cookie. He stared at it for a moment, then proceeded to break it in half.

“Here.” Nathanael said, handing the other half to Marinette. She smiled and accepted it. Nathanael broke a piece off of his own and popped it into his mouth. The warm chocolate chips lifted his spirits a little.

“You’ll never leave, right Marinette?” Nathanael asked, glancing back at her.

Marinette gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Of course not. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

Nathanael finished his cookie and slowly got to his feet. Then he offered Marinette his hand and helped her stand up.

“We should probably hurry or we’ll be late for school.” Nathanael said, looking at the clock.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” Marinette replied with a laugh, looping her arm through his. Together they made their way out of the back room.

“See you later, Papa, Maman!” Marinette called as they headed for the exit.

“Have a great day you two!” Sabine called after them, adding more cupcakes to the display case.

“I-I’m sorry but I dropped the tray of cookies.” Nathanael said to Tom, looking down at his shoes.

“Don’t worry about it, son. Maybe you could help us decorate the cakes another day.” Tom said with a wink.

Nathanael’s eyes brightened. “I’d like that.”

“Now don’t be late for school!” Sabine said, giving Marinette a pointed look.

“Right!” Marinette said as she pulled Nathanael along. Together they hurried out of the bakery.

“I’m sorry that we never had that sleepover last night.” Marinette said after a minute of walking in silence. “That alley cat can be stubborn.”

“Huh.” Nathanael began, “Chat Noir said the same thing about you.”

Marinette gave an indignant huff and crossed her arms. “The nerve of that cat.”

Nathanael smiled. “I’m happy that you went home. You needed your rest.” He could make out a small bruise on Marinette’s jawline. Nathanael’s heart clenched painfully, wondering if she got that because of him.

“Well I feel much better now. I’m ready for whatever Hawkmoth throws at us.” Marinette declared, putting her fist in her hand with determination.

“Yeah.” Nathanael said quietly, looking down at the sidewalk ahead.

A few steps later and Marinette picked her head up to look at Nathanael. “So how’d it go with Chat Noir? I know that he can be a handful sometimes.” She said with a grin.

“It was really nice actually. We talked on the roof for a while…and, well…” Nathanael began, kicking a pebble.

“What?” Marinette asked slowly, raising her eyebrows.

Nathanael took a deep breath. “I told him that I was Renard.”

“Wait, y-you what?!” Marinette asked, clearly not expecting that. She almost tripped over her own feet, but managed to keep her balance at the last second.

Nathanael rubbed the back of his neck. “Volpina uses people’s secrets against each other. So, I wanted to be perfectly upfront with both of you before we fight her again.” Then Nathanael smiled to himself, the image of Chat Noir sprawled on his floor crying over an anime still crystal clear in his memory. “Chat Noir’s a good guy.” Nathanael paused before adding, “And I think that he was feeling a little left out.”

“Left out?” Marinette asked, confused.

“He doesn’t know that we’re classmates and close friends in our civilian lives. You trusted me right away because I told you who I am. I think that Chat Noir was a little confused about how we got so friendly so fast. He felt like there was something that he didn’t know.”

Marinette’s eyes became sad as she fiddled with one of her earrings. “I’ve been wanting to tell Chat for a while now. He’s one of my closest friends and it feels wrong to keep things from him, but…I have a responsibility as Ladybug.”

Tiki poked her head out from Marinette’s purse. “It’s my fault. I’m the one who won’t let Marinette reveal her identity. For past chosen, well, it’s never worked out very well in the past.” She said, staring off into the distance, almost as if she were reliving memories that she’d like to forget.

“I know that it’s not my place,” Nathanael said. When he looked up he noticed that they were approaching the school. “However, I-I think that they should reveal their identities at some point. When they’re ready. When the time’s right. Otherwise I’m worried that things could get more complicated.”

Tiki looked at the expression on Nathanael’s face, then nodded her head in understanding, almost as if she realized that Nathanael knew a lot more about the situation than he might be letting on. “Although I am hesitant to agree, I think that you might be right.” Then Tiki turned to look up at Marinette. “Marinette?” She asked.

“Yes, Tiki?”

Tiki furrowed her eyebrows in thought before she opened her mouth. “When you feel like you’re ready, you can reveal your identity. You have a duty as Ladybug, but you have a duty as a friend and partner as well. You have a duty to your heart. Maybe it will be better if Chat Noir knows who you are. If you two understand each other better.” Tiki finished, but Nathanael could tell that she was still uneasy.

“O-okay.” Marinette stuttered. She looked suddenly nervous as she gripped the strap on her purse.

“And although it is your and Chat Noir’s decision to make, I would include Nathanael in all this as well.” Tiki added. “With his foxlike perception I think that he can give you two some advice on how, or when, to go about this.” Tiki looked up at Nathanael during the last part, her expression almost pleading. “I trust you three.”

“Right.” Marinette said, walking up the steps of the school. Tiki gave them a small smile and hid back inside of the purse.

“Don’t worry.” Nathanael assured them. “This will all work out.”

‘I’ll make sure of it.’ He thought to himself, clenching his fist.

 

 

“So. Tiiiiirrrreeeeeddd.” Nathanael whined, putting his head on his desk. He and Marinette had managed to get to class with a few minutes to spare, and Nathanael was tempted to use that time to sleep. He let out a long yawn.

“Just a minute. That’s all I need.” He said to himself, shutting his eyes. Then he heard someone move to sit in the chair next to him.

He slowly cracked open an eye, trying to ignore the way his heart fluttered with hope, how it echoed Lila’s name.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Adrien said with a grin. Nathanael groaned and put his forehead on the desk, closing his eyes once more.

“Why are you so chipper?”

“I’m used to late night patrols and overnight photo shoots.” Adrien said. Nathanael sneaked a glance and watched the blond model shrug. He didn’t look tired at all. His hair, his clothes, his face, they were all as perfect as ever.

Nathanael huffed, his hair falling to cover his face. “You’re practically glowing. It’s not fair.” He complained.

Adrien laughed and said confidingly, “I know, it’s purr-ty impressive.”

Nathanael just groaned again in response. “Stupid fox powers, making me nocturnal.” He mumbled. “Am I going to go into hibernation during the winter?” He wondered aloud.

Adrien chuckled again. “I don’t think that foxes hibernate.” Then he lowered his voice. “But remind me to tell you the story about the kitty litter.”

Nathanael picked his head up and turned his blurry eyes on Adrien. “Kitty litter?” He asked, not convinced.

Adrien rubbed the back of his head, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. “It wasn’t one of my proudest moments.” He admitted.

Nathanael looked at him in disbelief for a second, then broke out into laughter. Adrien began to grin. He looked proud of himself.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Nathanael asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

“I’m happy that I was able to get a smile out of you. I hadn’t seen one since you walked into the classroom.” Adrien said, looking down at his hands.

Nathanael’s eyes widened in surprise. “I guess I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.” He said slowly.

Adrien leaned back in his chair. “Oh, me too.” He paused, then looked up at the ceiling with an expression of despair. “I still cannot _believe_ what happened in that anime.” He said, shaking his head and dramatically wiping away a nonexistent tear. “It really got me, right in here.” He added, putting a hand over his heart.

Nathanael rolled his eyes and smiled. “Okay, sunshine boy.”

Adrien gave him a dorky grin. “I should probably get back to my seat now.” He said, looking at the front of the room. Nathanael watched as Ms. Bustier began to write notes on the board.

“Yeah, don’t get The Look.” Nathanael warned, shivering. Adrien gave him a salute and stood up in his seat.

As he began to walk away, Nathanael gently grabbed his sleeve. “Adrien?”

“Yeah?” Adrien asked, turning his green eyes on Nathanael.

“Thanks. You’re a good friend.”

Adrien smiled and gave him a nod. Then he went to sit at his desk.

As Nathanael looked towards the front of the room, he made eye contact with Marinette. She gave him a confused look, probably wondering when he and Adrien got so close. He simply gave her a shrug and before he could do anything more Ms. Bustier asked for the class’s attention.

“Now I know that there is still a, _situation_ , in progress.” Ms. Bustier began, trying to address the topic as gently as possible. “However, since we do not know how long this will last, Principal Damocles has decided that school should not be cancelled. He believes that we must try and maintain a sense of normalcy, and he has assured your parents that school is one of the safest places for you all to be at the present time.”

Nathanael agreed. Somehow he knew that Volpina wouldn’t come to the school, not again. It was too expected, and Volpina wasn’t known to do what was expected. He watched as Alix put her head on the table.

“Alix, since you look particularly excited about being here today, how about you tell us what you thought about the reading that was assigned two nights ago?” Ms. Bustier said, raising her eyebrows. Kim began to snicker and Alix shot him a poisonous look.

“I thought that it was, um, a-a good story. And that, well, the main character was, um, very…”

Nathanael began to tune out, and his eyes couldn’t help but look down at the empty seat next to him. Only a few weeks ago it had always been empty. Only a few weeks ago he was used to being alone. But things had changed. Someone had sat there. _More_ than a someone.

He looked over at where Marinette and Adrien were sitting, along with Alya and Nino. They were so far away. He was stranded, cut off from the rest of the world. He had never fully realized how awful it felt until now. Now he knew what it felt to be a _part_ of something. Nathanael gently touched the empty seat – now he knew what it meant to _lose_ something.

‘Even if I save Lila – even _when_ I save Lila, she’s going to leave.’ Nathanael thought, finding himself unable to tear his eyes away from that empty chair. Although he tried to fight it, that seed of hopelessness was beginning to gnaw at his insides. He could feel the brush of butterfly wings at the back of his neck. Why could he never escape this feeling? Why did he always come back to it?

“Nathanael? Are you paying attention?” Ms. Bustier asked.

Nathanael looked up. He could see all of his classmates’ eyes on him. “I-I’m sorry, may I please get a drink of water?”

Ms. Bustier looked like she was about to say no, but then her eyes softened. “Of course. Just hurry back, I don’t want you to fall behind.”

“Thank you.” Nathanael said, getting up from his seat and heading towards the door. As he walked through the doorway he couldn’t help but wonder: ‘Maybe I’ve already fallen behind.’

Nathanael approached the water fountain and bent down, putting his lips near the spout. After a few slow sips he straightened up and stared at the wall.

“Nathanael?” Yishu whispered, worry in her tone.

“I’ll be okay.” Nathanael said, although he didn’t sound very convincing.

“That’s not good enough.” A voice said behind him. Nathanael quickly turned around and saw Nino leaning casually against the wall a few feet away.

“W-what?” Nathanael asked, confused.

“People always say that they’re ‘going to be okay’, or that ‘they’ll be fine’.” Nino began, using air quotes. “But what about right now? Don’t you want to be happy _now_?”

Nathanael scoffed. “Of course I want to be happy now. But that’s just not, _possible_. Not while Lila’s gone, not while Volpina’s on the loose, not while Hawkmoth’s –”

Nino put up a hand to silence him. “Dude, happiness is not just a deadline that you can push back. It’s not something you can keep putting off until tomorrow. I know this _sucks_ , bro. I probably have no idea what you’re going through. But if you refuse to let yourself be happy, to enjoy the moments that you have _now_ , you’re just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. That’s not a way to live.”

“Then what should I do?” Nathanael asked, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

“Hold on to your right to be happy. You _deserve_ to be happy, bro. Don’t feel guilty for smiling or laughing or having fun even when things are tough. Because happiness is all we have when things get bad. That and hope.”

Nathanael looked at Nino for a moment. He had never thought about it that way. Clinging to happiness? He always saw it as a luxury, not a right. Why _was_ it that he couldn’t seem to allow himself to be happy? Nathanael furrowed his brow in thought, and after a moment he found his answer.

“I was unhappy for so long,” Nathanael slowly began, “maybe I had begun to depend on it.”

“But now you can depend on us, right?” Nino replied with a grin.

Nathanael looked down at his hands. Then he began to realize why he was so _tired_. It wasn’t just because he stayed up late last night. It was because he was punishing himself. He was refusing to let himself be happy because he felt that everything was his fault. That wasn’t fair.

“You’re right.” Nathanael finally said, looking at Nino with wide eyes.

“Of course I am, dude.” Nino said, moving to put his arm around Nathanael. Together they headed back to the classroom.

“When did you get so wise?” Nathanael asked with a smirk, turning his head to look at Nino.

“Hmmm. I don’t know about _wise_.” Nino admitted, frowning in thought. “I just noticed that you and Adrien are alike in the way that you both beat yourself up too much. You guys think that you have the world on your shoulders.” Nino mused, looking at Nathanael. “That’s not healthy buddy.”

Nathanael hung his head in shame, knowing that Nino was right.

“But you know what animal _is_ associated with wisdom?” Nino began, trying to maintain an innocent expression.

“Ah geez.” Nathanael muttered, knowing where this was going.

“Turtles!” Nino declared with a wide grin.

Nathanael put his head in his hands, smothering his laughter.

 

 

Nathanael opened the door to his house and stepped inside. Once he shut the door behind him he leaned against the wall and slid down to sit.

“Today’s been a long day.” Nathanael sighed, taking off his beanie. He watched as Yishu floated down to rest on his knee.

“But a good day?” Yishu asked, looking at him with expectant eyes.

Nathanael considered the question for a moment. He ate cinnamon pancakes with his mom, Yishu told him a love story about her chosen, he walked with Marinette to school, Adrien went out of his way to cheer him up, and Nino gave him some good advice.

“Yeah, it was a good day.” Nathanael said with a smile. “I can’t believe that Alya gave us all a quiz about Ladybug during lunch.” He added, laughing.

_“I made this quiz last night and I hoped that you guys could test it out before I put it on the Ladyblog.” Alya had declared, sending the link to all of their phones._

_“Oh, um, I don’t think I’ll know all that much…” Marinette had said, but Nathanael saw the competitive glint in her eye. When he looked over at Adrien, he saw that he was practically bouncing._

“I was surprised when Marinette did not get the highest score.” Yishu said, furrowing her brow. “She is Ladybug, after all.”

Nathanael laughed, remembering when Adrien declared to the group that he got all of the questions right.

_“Dang, I made sure that that quiz was hard.” Alya had said with a raised eyebrow, looking impressed._

_“Oh, my bro Adrien loooovees Ladybug. After we met her that one time at that studio set he couldn’t stop talking about how cool she was.” Nino said with a grin._

_“Niinnoooo.” Adrien groaned, embarrassed. “She just seems like a really good person is all.”_

_Only Nathanael had seemed to notice the blush forming on Marinette’s cheeks as she hid behind her phone._

“I’m not surprised at all.” Nathanael said, pulling at a loose string on his beanie as he laughed once more. He was happy. Despite everything – Volpina, Hawkmoth, Lila possibly moving back to Italy – he was happy.

Of course, not everything in his life was great at the moment, but Nino was right, he shouldn’t stop himself from being happy about the good things he still had. He had to stop using his unhappiness as an escape.

Yishu gasped and hurried to hide inside of Nathanael’s beanie.

“Hey son. Did you have a nice day at school?” Nathanael’s father asked as he walked into the front hall.

Nathanael looked up at his father in surprise. He’d forgotten that his dad had come home early. “Yeah, it was really nice.” Nathanael said as he stood up. Then he remembered what his mom had told him that morning. “Mom said something about you having a surprise for me…?”

His father grinned as he shrugged on his spring jacket. “Indeed I do.”

Nathanael watched as his dad moved to open the door, gesturing for Nathanael to leave the house first. Nathanael slowly walked through the doorway, wondering what the surprise could be, and his father followed after him, locking the door. “Follow me.” His dad said with a mysterious glint in his eye.

 

 

“The Musée d’Orsay.” Nathanael whispered, looking up at the long white building that stretched before him.

“It’s such a plain looking building.” His father said with a small smile. “Who would guess that it holds entire worlds inside?” Then he turned to look at Nathanael. “It’s kind of the same with people, isn’t it?”

Nathanael looked back at his father. Those ocean eyes, so much like Nathanael’s, and yet so different. They had a depth to them that Nathanael’s didn’t – an otherworldliness. His dad was right, the Musée d’Orsay was like a person, it was like his dad. Both seemingly average, but held beautiful secrets right under the surface. Infinite infinities.

“I guess. But what’s inside never really changes. The only thing that changes are the observers.” Nathanael furrowed his eyebrows in thought. “It’s different with people. People grow together. People affect other people. You can stare at a painting for as long as you want, and your perception of it may change, the reflection you see in the glass may change, but the art itself is preserved like a memory, standing sentinel as the clock ticks by.” Nathanael observed. Then he took a cleansing breath of spring air. If anything, these past few weeks had taught him a lot about change.

When Nathanael’s response was met with silence he glanced at his father, only to see him staring back at his son with a questioning gaze.

“W-what?” Nathanael asked self-consciously, adjusting his beanie and shifting from one foot to the other.

“I was wrong.” His father said with a melancholy smile. “People aren’t like art museums, are they? People grow on the outside as well. For example, you’ve grown up into a bright young man, Nathanael.”

Nathanael saw the proud gleam in his father’s eyes and looked down at his shoes. “I still feel like a kid.” He admitted.

“Good. Don’t grow up too fast. Otherwise you’ll make me feel old.” His father said with a chuckle. Then he became serious and put a hand on Nathanael’s shoulder. “Just know that I am proud of the person that you are becoming.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“How about we go inside? See how much _we’ve_ changed.” His father suggested, heading towards the front entrance.

Nathanael followed his lead, feeling a sudden change in the wind. A shift in the current. A ripple. Maybe his eyes _did_ hold some of his father’s depth. When he was little his father would explain to Nathanael all of his musings and thoughts, but Nathanael was never able to keep up. Now though, he was an equal. That both scared and excited him.

Eventually the duo made their way into his father’s favorite room. They walked in and took a seat at the bench that was located at the center of the oval. The curved walls were covered in Monet’s water lily murals. The soft pinks and blues brought color to the otherwise white room. The dark greens of the lily pads were a painful reminder of a certain pair of green eyes – ones that had looked at him with such malice the last time ocean and forest met.

“I’ve always been interested in willow trees.” Nathanael’s father said softly. Nathanael looked at how the drooping branches reflected off of the water.

“They always look so sad.” Nathanael observed, looking at how the trunk seemed bent over, weighed down by a secret melancholy.

“I’ve always thought that they were humble.” His father said, shifting slightly in his seat. Nathanael listened to the creak of the wooden bench. “Oak trees stand tall and proud, reaching towards the sunlight with confidence and strength. They almost give off an air of arrogance.” He paused. “The willow tree, on the other hand, is bowing, almost like it knows that there are forces out there that are superior to it. However, apparently its roots are remarkably strong. It is humble, but does not submit. It bends, but does not break. Maybe it’s wiser to be a willow tree, than an oak.”

“I wonder if that’s what Monet thought, too.” Nathanael mused aloud.

He and his father stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s company as they looked at the murals, each wavering between their own realities of thought.

‘To bend, but not to break.’ Nathanael wondered, lightly touching his miraculous that was hidden beneath his shirt.

 

 

“Thanks for taking me to the museum, Dad.” Nathanael said as they walked through the front door of their house and headed into the kitchen.

“Thanks for coming with me. It’s refreshing going to art museums other than the Louvre.” His dad replied. “Although,” He began, leaning in in a confiding way, “The Louvre has the best halls for after-hours sock sliding competitions.”

“No way.” Nathanael said, looking at his father in disbelief. He was trying to imagine his dad and Mr. Kubdel running around the Louvre in their socks. It was quite the image.

“Of course, Sam has to watch over us so we don’t end up knocking any priceless items over.” His dad admitted nervously. “Don’t tell your mother, but one time Mr. Kubdel and I were working late one night on the Ladybug and Chat Noir exhibit and we had a _little_ too much to drink. I almost knocked over a 1000-year-old vase.”

“No way!” Nathanael repeated, laughing.

“You and Alix should come over one night and we can have a tournament. It’s a lot of fun.”

“I bet it is.” Nathanael said with a chuckle.

“Well isn’t it my two favorite men?” Nathanael’s mom came into the kitchen. She was wearing a dress and had her hair down in curls.

Nathanael’s father smiled and went to kiss his wife on the cheek. “I never thought that it was possible – you’re even more beautiful than the first day I met you.”

“I guess I’m still trying to make an _impression_ on you.” She replied with a laugh.

“No, stooopp. That was the worst pick-up line ever.” Nathanael’s father said, putting his head in his hands in embarrassment. She laughed again and took his hands in her own.

“You’re adorable.”

“Are you guys going out on a date?” Nathanael asked, leaning against the kitchen table.

“Yes. I hope that’s okay, honey. Your father wanted to take me to that new restaurant that’s opening and I know that you want us home more often –”

Nathanael smiled and put up a hand to silence her. “Don’t worry about me, mom. You guys need a date night. Have fun.”

His mother smiled, looking relieved. Then she went up to hug Nathanael. “There’s plenty of food in the fridge. Make sure you eat something.” She said, pinching his cheek.

“Mooooomm.” Nathanael groaned.

“I know, I know.” His mother said as his father shrugged off his spring jacket and put on a more formal dark gray blazer.

“How do I look?” He asked, spreading his arms.

Nathanael’s mom went to adjust his tie, then gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Perfect.”

“Have fun you crazy kids.” Nathanael said with a smirk. His father simply stuck his tongue out at him as he put his arm around his wife’s waist.

“Don’t stay up too late, it _is_ a school night.” His mother said as she put her jacket on and opened the door.

“Got it.”

“Love you.” She said with a smile.

“Love you guys too.” Nathanael replied. He watched as his parents walked out the door and shut it behind them.

After a minute of leaning on the kitchen table he sighed happily and made his way to his bedroom. He was excited for a quiet night in. Hopefully he could make some progress on the design he had been working on.

‘Now should I buy plaster? And what kind of primer should I use?’ Nathanael wondered, looking looking out of his window at the building from across the street. He picked up his sketchbook and began to jot down some ideas, changing and adding to his rough outline. When he looked back out of the window he saw a red blur heading towards his house from the left.

“Marinette?” Nathanael wondered aloud, opening his window. She never mentioned that she would stop by.

Then out of the corner of his eye he saw a shadow approach from the right. Upon closer inspection he was able to spot that familiar mop of blond hair. “Adrien?”

He looked back and forth between the two heroes and saw that they were both headed in his direction. “Did something happen?” Nathanael asked the wind, beginning to panic. He took his miraculous out from under his shirt and held it tightly.

“Yishu, transforme moi.” He said. He watched as baubles of yellow light began to surround him. He looked down at his gloved hands and felt his animal ears twitch. Then he looked back up at the approaching heroes, using his foxlike vision to see them more clearly.

He saw that Ladybug was holding a bag of pastries, while Chat Noir seemed to have a couple of DVDs secured under his belt.

“Wha –?” Nathanael, who was now Renard, said under his breath, confused. As the heroes neared his house he realized that they were heading for the same spot – they were going to crash into each other.

“Wait! Stop!” Renard called, waving his arms in a panic.

Chat Noir only waved back and Nathanael put his head in his hands. Then he took a deep breath and climbed out onto his roof.

“Slow down!” He yelled, moving his arms once more. But it was no use.

“Hey Nath –!”

“What’s –?”

They said at the same time before they crashed into each other, both falling on their backsides but still managing to stay on the roof.

“Me-ouch.” Chat Noir said, rubbing his head.

“I tried to warn you guys.” Renard said with a sigh.

Ladybug got to her feet and offered Chat Noir a hand, pulling him up. “What are you doing here, Chat?” Ladybug asked, fixing her pigtails.

“I came to guard my number one fan, Bug-a-boo.” He said with a grin as he slung an arm around Renard’s shoulder. Renard scoffed.

“Oh, I thought that _I_ was guarding him tonight.” Ladybug said, picking up her bag of pastries.

“I guess we never really made a schedule, did we?” Chat said with a nervous grin. “It must have been fate that brought the three of us together!” He declared with more confidence.

“That’s fine by me. My parents just left so it’d be nice to have some company.” Renard said with a shrug. “What are the DVDs for?” He asked Chat.

Chat removed the DVDs from his belt. “I _may_ have brought some anime to watch.”

“Anime?” Ladybug asked, curious.

“Last night Chat and I found out that we both liked it.” Renard explained.

“It was a bonding moment.” Chat added.

“I’ll bet.” Ladybug said with a giggle. “I’ve always wanted to try it out. I’ve never watched it before.”

“Then it is our duty to introduce it to you, my lady.” Chat said with a dramatic bow.

“Okay guys, let’s head inside before anyone notices that there are three superheroes on my roof.” Renard said, herding his friends through the window.

“Yeah, why are you transformed?” Ladybug asked as she lowered herself through the window and into Nathanael’s bedroom.

“You both came rushing towards my house! I thought that something had happened!” Renard exclaimed, waving his arms.

“You worry too much.” Chat said as he joined Ladybug in Nathanael’s bedroom.

Renard sighed and put a hand on his forehead. “Yishu, fox out.” He watched as the transformation went away in a flash of light and he was back to his civilian self, then he went through the window and into his room. He looked between Ladybug and Chat Noir. Marinette and Adrien. It was funny how masks could change the dynamic so easily. Nathanael hanging out with Marinette and Adrien? Normal, pretty comfortable even. Nathanael in the same room as Ladybug and Chat Noir? Uncharted territory.

“This is kind of weird.” Nathanael admitted, running a hand through his hair.

The trio stood there in silence for a moment, no one knowing quite how to proceed.

“So, um, does anyone want pastries? They’re from my favorite bakery.” Ladybug eventually asked, waving the bag back and forth.

“The Dupain-Cheng bakery?” Chat inquired, spotting the familiar logo on the bag. “That’s my favorite bakery too.”

Nathanael watched as Ladybug’s eyes flashed with pride. “I brought a dozen cookies and some macaroons. I even managed to get the last slice of Opera Cake.”

Nathanael’s mouth watered. Opera Cake: almond sponge, coffee buttercream, and chocolate glaze. He hadn’t had a slice in years.

“Let’s race for it.” Nathanael said with a grin, looking between Chat and Ladybug.

“For the cake?” Chat Noir asked, sneaking longing glances at the bag.

“First one to the Eiffel Tower gets it.” Ladybug declared, a competitive gleam in her eyes.

“Hmm. I don’t know.” Chat said, putting a finger on his chin in thought as he moved to lean against the window sill. “We’re Paris’ superheroes. Surely we can find a more mature way to – ready, set, go!” Chat said quickly, leaping out of the window and into the night. Nathanael could hear his cackling in the distance.

“Hey, not fair!” Ladybug called after him, throwing her yo-yo and swinging out of Nathanael’s room.

“Yishu, transforme moi!” Nathanael said. Yishu gave him a grin before she flew into his miraculous. Renard quickly got out his grappling hook and propelled himself to the next building, trying to catch up. “I may be the new guy, but prepare to look at my tail the whole way there!” Renard yelled, flicking Chat Noir’s bell before gaining the lead.

“How dare you, sir!” Chat Noir said, scandalized.

Ladybug laughed as she flew through the night sky, speeding past her partners. “Try to keep up, boys!”

All of Paris could hear their heroes’ laughter as they raced through the city. That evening the city lights were a little brighter, the houses a little warmer, and the people a little more hopeful.

 

 

“I’m sorry, my lady, but you so cheated.” Chat Noir said. He was the last one to climb back through the window and into Nathanael’s room.

“I did not!” Ladybug argued, her hands on her hips.

“You pulled my tail!” Chat Noir said, waving his arms. Nathanael, who was still Renard, could tell that Chat was holding back a smile.

“There was no rule against it.” Ladybug said with a victorious grin, reaching down to pick up the pastry bag.

“Yeah, and you’re one to talk about cheating. You distracted me!” Renard said, sitting on his couch and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh no, there’s an akuma riding a unicorn!” Chat said, laughing. “I can’t _believe_ you fell for that!”

“It wouldn’t have been the craziest thing to happen!” Renard argued. “Nino was some sort of bubble, clown, DJ thing!”

“At least _he_ didn’t crash into a billboard for a perfume ad.” Ladybug said with a giggle.

“I swear that thing came out of nowhere!” Chat exclaimed, sitting next to Renard on the couch.

“Oh, wasn’t that the one with Adrien Agreste’s face on it?” Renard said with a smirk. He watched as both Ladybug and Chat Noir blushed.

“W-well, uh,” Ladybug stammered, taking a second to regain her composure. “none of that matters, because I was the one to get there first!” She declared, bringing out the slice of cake.

Renard and Chat Noir looked at the cake with wide eyes. Renard swore that he heard Chat whimper.

Ladybug smiled and rolled her eyes. Then she held up three forks for them to see. “You guys are hopeless.” She said fondly, hanging them each a fork.

Nathanael de-transformed and went downstairs to get some plates. Then they split the cake into three even pieces.

“So good.” Nathanael mumbled through a mouthful of almond sponge as moved to sit on his bed.

Chat licked some coffee buttercream off of his fork. “This is amazing. I don’t get to have sweets that often.” He commented casually.

“Really? Why?” Ladybug asked, turning her curious blue eyes on her partner from her spot on the couch.

Chat shifted in his seat. “Well, if I tell you it would probably give away my secret identity…”

Ladybug furrowed her eyebrows in thought. “Okay. Then I’ll just tell you mine too.”

Nathanael watched as Chat’s eyes flicked up to meet Ladybug’s. “Wait, really?”

Ladybug nervously pulled on one of her pigtails. “We’re partners. You’re one of my best friends. I talked with Tiki – my kwami – about it, and she says that it’s probably a good next step.”

“Are you sure about this, Ladybug?” Chat asked, his eyes wide.

Ladybug took a deep breath. “I’m ready. I trust you.” She said, giving him a sweet smile.

Chat’s eyes softened. “I trust you too, my lady.”

“Oh, but Tiki told me that we should get Nathanael’s advice too. This decision will affect him as well.” Ladybug said, turning to look at Nathanael.

“Ah geez.” Nathanael said, blowing a lock of hair out of his face as he furrowed his eyebrows in thought. “Okay, I have to be upfront with you guys about something.” He began. Ladybug and Chat Noir both turned from their spots on the couch to face him.

“I know both of you, you know, as civilians.” Nathanael said. He watched as his two partners looked at each other with wide eyes.

“Do _we_ know each other?” Chat asked, still looking at Ladybug.

“Yes.” Nathanael answered. Both of his partners became silent, trying to process what Nathanael had just told them.

“So, I think that you guys _should_ reveal your identities at some point. But I want to warn you that it _will_ change things. You both might need some time to adjust.” Nathanael said, getting up from the edge of his bed and moving to join them on the couch. “But don’t worry, it’ll be good for you both.”

Ladybug looked down at her hands. “We should wait until the situation with Volpina is over.” She said regretfully, looking back up at her partners. “We can’t get distracted now.”

“You’re right.” Chat said. Nathanael could tell that he was trying to hide his disappointment. “We’ll wait for the right moment. But I just want you to know Ladybug,” Chat began, looking at her. “it doesn’t matter who’s behind that mask. My feelings won’t change.”

“Good. I don’t know what I’d do without you, kitty.” Ladybug replied with a smile, reaching over to flick his bell.

Chat laughed. “I know; it’d be a cat-astrophe.”

Nathanael rolled his eyes. “It’s endless.” He said, putting his head in his hands.

“Looks like my number one fan is jealous.” Chat said with a smirk.

“Whatever, alley cat.” Nathanael replied, stealing his last bite of cake.

“Hey!”

Ladybug laughed behind her hand. “You kind of deserved that, Chat.”

“Betrayed by my own partners.” Chat said, putting a hand on his chest.

“So what anime are we watching first?” Nathanael asked, ignoring Chat’s dramatics.

Chat perked up at that and grabbed his short stack of DVDs. “What do you guys think about time travel?” He asked with a grin.

 

 

Nathanael let out a yawn as the next episode began to play. He felt Yishu leave her perch on his head and watched as she went to snuggle inside of his beanie, which was on the table. Then he looked over at Ladybug, who was sitting at the edge of the couch, her eyes wide. Since his parents were out for the evening he decided that they could go downstairs and play Chat’s DVDs on the big television. Right now they were on the sixth episode of _Steins; Gate_.

“You seem to be enjoying it.” Nathanael commented.

Ladybug tore her eyes away from the TV to look at him. “It’s so good! And confusing.” She added, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Oh yeah.” Nathanael agreed. Time traveling and mad scientists and mysteries? It was pretty complicated so far. And yet he was hooked.

“Sleepy.” Chat mumbled with closed eyes, resting his head on Ladybug’s lap. Ladybug looked at Nathanael for a moment, not knowing what to do, but then she simply smiled and stroked her partner’s hair.

“I knew he must be tired. He didn’t sleep at all last night.” Nathanael explained.

“Oh kitty.” Ladybug said fondly, watching her partner’s slow breathing. Then she looked up at Nathanael. “So I know him? As Marinette?” She asked softly.

Nathanael only nodded in response.

Ladybug looked back down at her sleeping partner. “Does he like her?”

“He likes _you_ , with or without the mask.” Nathanael assured her.

“This is crazy.” Ladybug said with a gentle laugh.

“I know. But it’s miraculous, isn’t it?” Nathanael responded, leaning back into the couch and looking out of the window. The sun was beginning to set.

“It really is.” She replied with a smile.

Nathanael sighed. All in all, today had been a pretty great day. He had hope – hope that they would save Lila, hope that his two friends would grow even stronger after the reveal, hope that he had finally learned how to hold onto happiness. And yet, something still seemed off. He couldn’t quite understand it, but something was keeping him on edge. It was like alarm bells were going off in his head, but there was no threat to be found. He blamed it on his fatigue.

Then his vision went dark as he felt two hands cover his eyes. “Miss me?” A cold voice said in his ear. Nathanael’s heart sunk in his chest.

“Volpina!” Ladybug exclaimed, confirming Nathanael’s fears.

“Sorry _bug_ , but I haven’t come for you. I have some unfinished business to take care of first.” Volpina said, yanking Nathanael to his feet.

“Lila, don’t do this.” Nathanael said, looking into Volpina’s eyes, trying to get through to his friend.

“Lila’s _gone_.” Volpina spat. Then she grinned evilly. “And so are we.”

“No!” Ladybug shouted, already on her feet and yo-yo in hand, but it was too late. The last thing Nathanael saw were Ladybug’s angry blue eyes, then everything turned to smoke.

‘It’s okay. I can stop her.’ Nathanael thought to himself, feeling the weight of his miraculous under his shirt and Volpina’s firm grip on his arm as she transported them who-knows-where.

Then Nathanael’s heart almost stopped. He wasn’t wearing his beanie. Yishu was still at his house. No powers, no defense. He was all alone.


	26. The Bard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had the absolute WORST writer's block ugh it's been so frustrating. So this chapter is a little on the shorter side but I still hope that you all like it! Christmas break officially started for me today so I hope to get some more chapters out soon! And the next chapter should be a lot longer. Pop over and send me a comment if you'd like!! :D :D :D

Nathanael felt a firm tug in the pit of his stomach as the smoke swirled around him. He tried to ignore the disorienting feeling of weightlessness and focus on a plan, but his vision began to swim as the fog around him solidified into the Parisian horizon.

Nathanael breathed a sigh of relief as his feet felt solid ground, but then his knees buckled and hit cool stone. He looked up to see the sun sinking beneath the skyline, an explosion of pale oranges and soft pinks spreading across the sky. He could see the whole city laid out before him. Then he looked down and his stomach dropped.

“I’ve always wanted to visit this place.” Volpina said, watching the tiny cars pass by below them.  

Nathanael scrambled to his feet and took a few steps away from the edge as he tried to steady his breathing. Long black roads stretched in every direction, bursting from the center like the tendrils of a star, and he was in the middle of it all. _Very high up_ in the middle of it all.

“The Arc de Triomphe.” Volpina began. “Over two-hundred years old, right?”

Nathanael only gulped in response. ‘And fifty meters tall.’ He remembered, thinking back on history class last year. He wasn’t usually afraid of heights - he _was_ just at the top of the Eiffel Tower with Ladybug and Chat Noir only a few hours ago - but now he was trapped up here with an angry akuma who wanted revenge and no real way to fight back. So yeah, right now he was afraid of heights.

“I thought that this place would be fitting, since I’m about to claim my own triumph.” Volpina said with a smirk, still looking out at the darkening city.

“Lila –” Nathanael began, taking a step towards her.

“ _Don’t call me that_!” Volpina growled, turning her piercing gaze on Nathanael. Then she took a deep breath to compose herself before giving him a venomous smile. “I don’t know what she ever saw in you.”

Nathanael only stared back with wide eyes as he watched Volpina move to stand in front of him.

“I can _smell_ your fear. You’re just a small, scared, _weak_ little boy. How predictable. How _average_.” Volpina spat, looking him up and down.

Nathanael’s gaze turned steely as he straightened up to his full height. “I’m not afraid of you. And I _will_ save Lila.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to be saved, hm?” Volpina asked, leaning in to look at Nathanael. He looked back into those green eyes, so familiar and yet so foreign. “I know you hurt her. You were her only friend, and you betrayed her. I know her pain. I _am_ her pain.”

Suddenly voices echoed in Nathanael’s mind:

_‘She couldn’t get anyone to like her.’_

_‘Nobody likes a liar.’_

_‘Her name’s probably not even Lila.’_

_‘I was a villain; you can’t come back from that.’_

_‘I hate Ladybug!’_

_‘Stop lying.’_

_‘Everything I touch; I always end up ruining it!’_

Some were Chloe’s words, some Lila’s, and Nathanael’s heart sank when he heard his own voice. Those two words, ‘Stop lying’, words he regretted more than anything, cut through him the most. He began to see copies of Lila appear around him, some sobbing on the ground, or angry, or eerily silent. All in states of distress - green eyes filled with tears, fists pounding against the ground, vacant gazes that seemed to be a million miles away - and Volpina stood in the middle of it all.

“This was _your_ fault.” Volpina declared, pointing an accusing finger. “So how can you possibly claim that you want to help her?” Then she sighed and looked down at one of Lila's clones with pity. “But I guess I have _you_ to thank. I’m here because of you.” She looked up at him with a wide smile. Nathanael shuddered when he saw the evil glint in her eye.

“No more games. I’m tired of your illusions.” Nathanael said with as much confidence as he could muster.

“Oh, but I was only showing you the truth.” Volpina said with a pout, the multiple Lilas disappearing with a wave of her hand. “Isn’t that what you wanted? For Lila to _stop lying_?” She lunged at Nathanael with her flute raised menacingly in the air. Instinctively Nathanael shut his eyes and threw his hands up to cover his face, but then he heard a violent thud a foot to his left and a poisonous laugh.

He opened up his eyes to see the end of the flute resting on the stone next to him. He tried not to shiver when he saw the deep gash that Volpina had created. The other end of the flute was still tight in Volpina’s hand, and when he raised his eyes he saw that her face was only inches from his.

“You know, Lila was furious when she ran away from that classroom. And so sad.” Volpina breathed, looking down at her hand as she placed it on Nathanael's chest. “All she wanted was revenge. Revenge on Chloe, revenge on you, revenge on _Ladybug_.” Her eyes flicked up to meet Nathanael’s, then she leaned in closer. “But playing with you has been so much fun. Maybe I’ll keep you around a little longer. At least until I take Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses.”

Nathanael saw the purple outline of a butterfly appear on Volpina’s face. _Hawkmoth_. He clenched his fists as he watched it fade.

“I know how much you liked her. I saw how much you wanted to _kiss her_.” Volpina said, putting an arm around his neck and pressing her body against his. He shivered at her touch but managed to stand firm.

“You can’t fool me anymore Volpina. I won’t let you play with my emotions again.” Nathanael said coolly.

“Try and stop me.” Volpina challenged with a grin, then she crashed her lips with Nathanael’s. He could smell the familiar scent of her hair as she deepened the kiss. It was Lila – her breath, her hands. Part of him wanted so badly to give in, _it felt so much like Lila_. But the more it reminded him of her the heavier his heart became, the more determined his will. He shoved Volpina away and grabbed her wrists.

“You’re right. You’re not Lila.” Nathanael conceded, tightening his grip as Volpina bared her teeth and struggled to get free. “But I know that she’s in there. I know that she can hear me. I know that she can _fight_ this.” Nathanael looked deep into Volpina’s eyes, trying to find Lila in them. “I care about you Lila, a lot. And-and that scares me. I’m _terrified_ right now.” Nathanael admitted with a shaky laugh. “But you know what’s scarier than my feelings for you? The thought that I might _lose you_.”

Volpina growled, but Nathanael could see a shine in her eyes. A shine that reminded him of Lila. Nathanael smiled and kept going. “You’re one of the strongest people that I know. I’m so sorry, Lila. This is all my fault. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, but you have to break free. I can’t do it for you, it’s a battle that _you_ have to fight. I really am sorry about that, but I know that you can do it. _Believe_ in yourself.”

Volpina stopped struggling for a moment and looked at Nathanael, both anger and bewilderment flashing in her eyes.

“Lila?” Nathanael dared to ask, loosening his grip. He watched as those green eyes began to soften and his heart filled with hope. Then Volpina winced and broke free from Nathanael to grab her arm. Nathanael saw a harsh purple glow begin to pulse from her wrist. It was in the shape of a butterfly.

“The akuma.” Nathanael breathed. Volpina flicked her eyes up to look at him. Her irises were as hard as diamonds. Then she grabbed his arm, throwing him away from her and into the air like a rag doll. 

Nathanael gasped as he saw the city below him. The cars looked like tiny stars in the darkening night. But he didn’t have time to appreciate how beautiful it was, he was more concerned about the fact there was no stone beneath him. Volpina had thrown him off of the edge. He was going to fall.

He was about to panic when he hit against something solid. Dazed, he looked down to see the city still beneath him, but he seemed to be on some sort of invisible barrier. He breathed a sigh of relief. Then Volpina grabbed his shirt collar and yanked him to his feet. She was still on the edge of the Arc de Triomphe while Nathanael stood on solid air.

“ _This isn’t fun anymore_.” Volpina growled, tightening her grip on his shirt. Nathanael looked down. It was a long fall. Then he saw the purple outline appear on Volpina’s face once more.

“But I have to let you live a little longer. I need a hostage.” Volpina said once the outline faded, looking at Nathanael with disgust. Nathanael relaxed a little, but he was still concerned over the fact that one of Volpina’s illusions was the only thing between him and the pavement.

“I guess Ladybug isn’t the only one with the luck?” Nathanael said with a nervous laugh, blowing a lock of hair out of his face. Volpina let out a snort, then she covered her mouth with her free hand in shock and shot Nathanael an accusing gaze.

“Just because I have to keep you alive doesn’t mean that you have to have all of your limbs.” Volpina threatened, her gaze hard.

Nathanael gulped and any further comments died in his throat, but he felt a little flame of hope warm his insides. That snort was Lila’s. He was reaching her.

“I guess we’ll see if the bug and her alley cat are willing to give up their miraculouses for a pathetic civilian.” Volpina spat, releasing her grip on Nathanael’s collar and picking up her flute.

Nathanael smoothed his shirt. ‘You picked the wrong civilian to mess with, Volpina.’ He thought to himself, the gears already turning in his head.

‘I can’t let Marinette and Adrien give up their miraculouses for me.’ Nathanael reasoned. ‘I will _never_ let Hawkmoth win. But how can I stop Volpina? How can I save everyone?’ Nathanael took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He started this, it was his responsibility to end it. Everything that had happened to him – him being akumatized, meeting Lila, learning Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities, becoming a superhero himself – it’s all led him to this moment.

Nathanael sighed. ‘This isn't going to end well for me, is it?’ He thought with a rueful smile. He looked down once more. It was a _really_ long fall. But he wasn’t going to let fear control him. He took one last deep, cleansing breath – and then he realized something.

“My hands aren’t shaking.” He mused, raising his hands up to his face to look at them.

“What did you say?” Volpina asked, narrowing her eyes and twirling her flute skillfully in her hand.

Nathanael looked up at her as a wide grin spread across his face. “My hands aren’t shaking.” Then he lunged and grabbed Volpina’s flute.

“What are you doing?!” She yelled, caught off guard. Nathanael ripped it out of her hands with some unknown strength and hit the flute against his knee. It didn’t break.

“Why is life so difficult?” Nathanael internally groaned, then he chucked the flute as far as he could. They both watched as it sailed through the air and down below, getting lost in the late afternoon traffic.

“You little –” Volpina growled, grabbing his collar once more and lifting him into the air.

“Come on, Lila. Please. _Please_. Just fight back.” Nathanael begged, his legs dangling in the air. “Just one happy thought. Hold onto it. You can think of one right? _Just one_?...C-can you think of us?” Nathanael whispered that last part, gently taking Volpina’s free hand in his.

Suddenly a flash of memory exploded across Nathanael’s vision.

_“Are you sleeping? Again?...Are you just going to stare at me?”_

_“You’re …Lila, right?”_

_“Obviously.”_

_“Wait? you sit here?”_

_“Yes, I sit here, tomato. Yesterday was my first official day of classes, but I guess you were too busy snoring to notice.”_

The first day they met. The image clear as day. Nathanael’s head was on his desk and Lila rolled her eyes, confusion obvious on his face and annoyance obvious on hers. And yet there was a special sort of energy there that crackled between them. That was the first time she called him “tomato”. Nathanael’s heart clenched. _The first day they met_. Poor Nathanael. He had no clue. He had no clue that he’d fall hard for the girl standing before him.

Then the scene dissolved and Nathanael was brought back to reality. He saw the confusion on Volpina’s face as she searched Nathanael’s eyes for an explanation.

“Wh-what was that?” She demanded, panic in her gaze.

“Wait, you saw that too?” Nathanael asked, his eyes widening. His chest began to feel warm. Then he realized that the sudden heat was coming from his miraculous.

‘But Yishu isn’t here…?’ Nathanael thought to himself. From this angle he could just barely see his miraculous hidden under his shirt. Thankfully Volpina hadn't noticed it as she held him in the air. Upon further inspection Nathanael saw that there was a soft glow pulsating from the fox tail. Acting on instinct he tightened his grip on Volpina's hand and looked into her eyes, trying to channel that warm glow out from his hand and into hers.

A scene began to form again, much like how an old photo would develop.

_“Those two need to get a room.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“It’s obvious that they like each other. They should just make out already.”_

_“So you see it too!...I-It’s just that, from where I’m sitting – we’re sitting – we can see everything. It’s so obvious that they like each other, but know one else sees it!”_

_“That’s because everyone in this class is oblivious.”_

_“I’ve never had someone who understands. I thought I was crazy.”_

_“Just because I’m not dense like your other classmates doesn’t mean you’re not crazy...Tomato.”_

Nathanael watched as the scene continued to play out and saw the dopey grin spread across past Nathanael’s face. There. That was the moment when Nathanael knew. That’s when his heart began to beat just a little bit faster whenever she was around. That’s when he finally felt understood. Less alone.

The memory faded and he was met with two wide green eyes. Volpina’s mouth hung open in shock. “What’s happening?” She asked in a quiet voice to no one in particular. Then a soft glow lit up her face. Nathanael looked down at her wrist and saw the outline of the akuma again. But this time it glowed white. This time it seemed less violent but rather…peaceful.

A smile began to form on Nathanael’s face. “Lila –” Nathanael began, but then he felt Volpina’s grip on his collar loosen as she let go of him. He expected to touch down on the solid air, but instead he began to fall. His eyes widened in shock and he watched as Volpina fell to her knees, clutching her head in confusion as white and purple light glowed from her wrist, creating shadows that danced across her face.

“Lila!” Nathanael yelled, looking down in terror to see cars becoming more distinct, the pavement drawing closer.

‘This is bad, very very bad.’ He thought as the wind whistled in his ears. Volpina didn’t even seem to notice.

He had fallen a lot these past few weeks. He fell through Paris in his nightmares, he literally fell into his superhero career. He could even dare to say that he fell in love. Now it was time for one final fall.

It was fitting wasn’t it? That it would end like this. Nathanael Kurtzberg, the lonely and broken artist. His hero’s fall had finally come - his fall from triumph, literally, with the city of Paris as his witness. He never realized how lonely the end could be.  


	27. How My Mother’s Embroidered Apron Unfolds in My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is a very minor minor character death. It is an original character but I thought that I should mention it just in case. 
> 
> For Christmas my parents donated to the World Wildlife Fund and got me a Red Fox stuffed animal. It's so cute and I had it beside me as I was writing this chapter XD
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

The world became but runny streaks of paint as Nathanael dropped through the evening. The wind clung to his clothes, and he felt a chill as the cool breeze whistled through his shirt. His red hair whipped around his face, but every so often he would get a clear view of the city around him – so painfully beautiful, even when it was only bands of color and sound.

Paris was known as the “City of Light”, but the familiar streetlamps, pale moonlight, and softly glowing store windows were only harsh lines in Nathanael’s vision. They weren’t able to comfort him now.

Then Nathanael saw a small warm light in front of his eyes. His necklace had come out from under his shirt, and now the white tail pulsated before him. He reached out to close his hand over the curved tail, and began to feel at least a little comforted, a little safer. Tendrils of light still managed to peek through his fingers, illuminating his face. His miraculous was his only beacon of warmth, his only beacon of hope in the darkening city sky.

He clutched his miraculous to his chest and curled his body in on himself. He was afraid. This was not the ending that he wanted – this was not what was _supposed_ to happen. Heroes were _supposed_ to win, good was _supposed_ to prevail, he was _supposed_ to prove to himself that he was a part of something miraculous. Did all of that…mean nothing?

Time seemed to slow to a painstaking crawl. He wasn’t sure if it was his desperate will to live that made him stubbornly hold on to each second, or if the cruel hands of fate wanted to elongate his fear. He felt like a bug trapped under a glass, waiting to see if he’d be crushed or let free into the outside world.

He wanted to get it over with, and yet each second still in the air was a relief. The darkness behind his tightly shut eyelids brought him both safety and fear.

“I’m sorry Marinette.” Nathanael whispered as another second ticked by.

“I’m sorry, you mangy cat.” Nathanael croaked with a shaky laugh.

“Tom. Master Fu. Alya. Nino. My classmates.” The hand of time kept moving, but each second seemed longer than the last.

“Mom. Dad.” Nathanael breathed, he began to feel his throat burning.

“ _Lila_.” Nathanael managed to sob as he felt hot frustrated tears on his cheeks. He began to rub his eyes with the heel of his palm, his other hand still clutching the fox tail.

“ _I’m sorry_.”

In that moment – totally alone as he fell through the sky, the setting sun of Paris deepening the red in his hair, the black pavement and rushing cars lethal and unfeeling below him – he realized just how much he missed his kwami.

Yishu had been his constant companion these past few weeks. The braids in his hair, her tinkling laughter, the childlike wonder and ancient wisdom that both took refuge in her eyes, her unwavering love and faith in him – he had come to depend on Yishu as much as he needed to breathe. Her absence hurt most of all.

“Yishu, I-I’m –” Nathanael wanted to apologize to her most of all, but he couldn’t seem to force the words out. He could only imagine Yishu finding him, broken on the Parisian street. He would become another tragic story that Yishu would tell to chosens down the line. His little kwami already carried so much pain, he didn’t want to add to that.

He thought about all of the stories that he learned about the past fox miraculous holders. He realized that they all had a choice as to how they wanted their stories to end. They _chose_ their destiny, whether it was good or bad. This? Falling to his death? This was _not_ what Nathanael chose. He was sick of not being in control. If he was going to die, he was going to die on _his_ terms, and no one else’s. That’s what being a hero was about – it was a promise to refuse to give up, to refuse to give in, and to refuse to let anyone dictate your destiny.

His miraculous became searing hot in his hands, but he only held on tighter. Then he opened his eyes, expecting to see the blurred city once more, but gasped when he was met with an entirely different image.

_He was at the top of the Arc de Triomphe once more, but now it seemed to be morning. He saw the pale yellow light of the sky, felt the gentle summer breeze, and then he heard yelling below him. When he looked over the edge he saw large tanks rolling down the street. Stern-looking soldiers marched in rhythm beside the passing tanks, and crowds of people celebrated on either side. He saw large French flags being waved by some members of the crowd, while others were holding signs that said, “Liberation” and “Vive la République”._

_Nathanael tried to say something, to ask what was going on, but his vocal chords didn’t seem to work._

_“Let’s go.” An unfamiliar voice said. It sounded female. It also seemed to be coming out of Nathanael’s own mouth. Nathanael could only watch as he bounded across the Arc. He felt the muscles in his legs tense and then he jumped into the air, flying across the street until he landed on the closest building’s rooftop. With hardly any hesitation Nathanael kept moving –  through no conscious thought of his own – across the city until he reached the Notre Dame. Then his body – which he was beginning to suspect wasn’t really_ his _body – sat down next to one of the gargoyles to rest. The view reminded him of the night when he and Yishu were on this same roof, overlooking the same city. And yet the city wasn’t the same._

_“It’s really over.” That same voice breathed. She sounded pleased. “Well, at least in France. There are still more battles to be fought, aren’t there Fennu?”_

_Fennu. The name sounded familiar. Nathanael quickly realized that it was one of Yishu’s past names, but he couldn’t quite remember when…_

_“Vive la France! Vive la République!” A mob of voices called. Nathanael saw the people down below laughing and hugging and crying. He watched them wave to the soldiers as they passed._

_‘Of course.’ Nathanael realized, feeling like an idiot. ‘This is the Liberation.’ He remembered seeing photographs in his textbook, and he recognized the German uniforms._

_“There’s always someone left to save.” The girl mused, but Nathanael could sense that there was a smile on her face, almost as if saving people was less of a burden but more like a…purpose. Then she laughed. “I’m just talking to myself again, aren’t I? Can you even hear me in there?” Nathanael remembered what Yishu had told him – he was the first chosen in a while to have a telepathic link. He watched as she held her miraculous in her hands._

_Through this girl’s eyes Nathanael was able to see a Paris that was only known to him through pictures and history. A war-torn Paris. There was smoke in the distance, and rubble, and overall scars that cut deeper than cement, but there was still hope there. Hope in the Parisian’s eyes, hope in their chants, hope in their songs, hope in their smiles. Maybe Paris was called the “City of Light” for more reasons than one._

_The girl – Alice, Nathanael remembered – looked down at her lap. Resting on her knee was a whip that seemed to be made out of pure light. Nathanael remembered Yishu describing it. The handle did indeed break off into nine sections, each one looking equally sharp and dangerous._

_The girl sighed and slowly got to her feet. “Everything seems to be settling down. Let’s go find a place to eat, and then preferably a place to sleep.” With that the girl climbed down the Notre Dame, finding the perfect niches with which to place her hands and feet as she began her descent._

_Alice’s last words bothered Nathanael. ‘A place to eat? A place to sleep? Does she not have a home to go to?’ He wondered. ‘Was she an orphan?’ He knew well enough from history class that every war created orphans, and he never even knew this girl, and yet the thought still made him sad. His parents weren’t around all that much and he was on his own for a good amount of his life, but they were still there, and now they were even making more of an effort. He could still say that he had a family, that he had a home. The thought of being so alone, so disconnected from other people, gnawed at him._

_Soon Alice touched down on the street and hurried swiftly towards the nearest alley. Nathanael was able to get a good look at her costume. A thick stripe of white ran down the center of her body, while her arms and legs and parts of her torso were covered in a tan material that grew darker near her hands and feet. Nathanael also managed to get a glimpse of her tail, which was dominantly a cream color with dark grey and black speckles. The ensemble contrasted well with her brown skin._

_“Fennu?” Alice’s body was covered in a soft glow and her costume quickly melted away to show a plain civilian dress underneath._

_Nathanael couldn’t help but be a little surprised when he saw Yishu – or he guessed, Fennu. She had short, white ears and striking light brown eyes. Her fur was a blend of white, cream, tan and black specks similar to Alice’s costume._

_“WE WERE AWESOME!” Fennu yelled, much to Nathanael’s shock. He couldn’t remember Yishu ever being that loud._

_“Keep it down, Fennu.” Alice whispered under her breath, quickly looking around the alley._

_“Sorry, sorry, I know, it was just so cool!” Fennu yelled with a tiny paw raised victoriously in the air. Then her eyes widened and she quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry.” She whispered._

_Alice giggled and let Fennu rest in her hand, stroking her behind the ear. “It_ was _pretty fun.” She admitted._

_“Those German lab experiments had no chance against you! Nothing’s stronger than a miraculous!” Fennu boasted, a smug grin on her face._

_‘German lab experiments…’ Nathanael mused._

_“That’s true. Dr. Bösartig and his evil minions are no match for my fox cry.” Alice said, pride obvious in her tone. Nathanael could almost sense the glint in her eye. He was beginning to wonder if she was two or three years younger than him. Something about the way she spoke and carried herself just seemed more…childlike._

_“I love you, Alice.” Fennu said with a wide grin, putting one of Alice’s long braids in her hand and stroking it affectionately._

_“I love you too, Fennu.” Alice replied, warmth in her tone. Then she sighed contently. “Now what do you wanna do? Should we sneak to the back of the Boulangerie Patisserie and see if Monsieur Dupain has any stale bread to spare?”_

_‘Boulangerie Patisserie? Monsieur Dupain?’ Nathanael thought. He didn’t realize that Marinette’s family’s bakery had been standing for so long. ‘So a past miraculous holder knew one of Tom’s ancestors?’ Nathanael remembered when Yishu said she didn’t believe in coincidences. He was beginning to agree with her._

_“It’s a special occasion! Maybe he’ll even throw in an Opera cake like last time!” Fennu said, excitement in her eyes as she did a loop in the air._

_Alice groaned happily. “I hope s-”_

_Alice gasped and Nathanael’s vision began to swim._

_“Alice!” Fennu exclaimed, rushing to her chosen’s side. Nathanael assumed that Alice had fallen to her knees based on the way his perspective changed. He watched as Fennu looked desperately into Nathanael’s eyes – Alice’s eyes. She looked panicked as Alice could barely keep her eyes open._

_“Tsk tsk.” A cold voice said outside of Nathanael’s field of vision. It sounded like metal striking metal, and he could hear the German accent. “It is not smart for a little girl to be alone in an alley. But I guess you can defend yourself, can’t you Nine Tails?”_

_“Dr._ _Bösartig.” Alice said, venom in her tone. But there was a slight slur to her words. “How did you find me? How do you know who I am?”_

_“We have systems for finding people.” Dr. Bösartig said casually. “And you weren’t as careful as you thought.”_

_“Alice.” Fennu whispered, hiding behind her chosen. “Can you get up?”_

_“You must be wondering what is happening to you.” Dr. Bösartig continued. He hadn’t seemed to notice Fennu. “That dart in your neck is laced with a powerful drug. It will not kill you, but soon you will be unable to move.”_

_Nathanael felt his – Alice’s – body shift and he finally got a good look at the doctor, who was currently standing at the other end of the alley. He was a tall man with broad shoulders and close-shaven hair. He looked more like a soldier than a scientist. His wire-rimmed glasses glinted menacingly in the dim lighting. There also appeared to be a scar above his left temple._

_“I won’t let you win.” Alice spat, struggling to get to her feet. Then her knees buckled and she went down again._

_“Try all you want Nine Tails, but you can’t seem to realize that science always wins.” Dr. Bösartig spat out that last part, moving to loom over her. Nathanael saw that there was a black bag and a length of rope in his hands. “Time to go. The war might be over here, but there are new wars to fight. New advantages to be…developed.” There was a maniacal glint in his eye that made Nathanael mentally shiver._

_Alice growled and then Nathanael felt a vibration deep in his – her – throat. It reminded him of the feeling he’d get when he would use his fox cry. ‘Yes Alice! You can do it!’ Nathanael cheered in his mind, trying to give her his own strength. But it was no use. She wasn’t even transformed. The cry died in her throat and she slumped to the ground, too weak to move._

_“Science always wins.” Dr. Bösartig repeated with a smug grin, binding Alice’s legs and feet. Then he moved to face Alice and touched her miraculous with his fingertips. “It’s shaped like a fox tail isn’t it? How fitting.” He observed, baring his teeth. “I must say, as annoying as you have been, you have intrigued me. I look forward to finding out exactly how your powers work.”_

_Nathanael watched as spit flew at Dr. Bösartig’s face. The scientist laughed and wiped it away with a handkerchief. “Yes. I am looking forward to it indeed.” Then he put Alice roughly in the bag, closing the opening tightly._

_Nathanael’s eyes adjusted to the darkness of the bag’s interior. He noticed that there was one small hole that provided the only ray of light and oxygen._

_“Alice?” Fennu asked quietly. Nathanael saw her wide brown eyes, which were almost glowing in the darkness. Then the kwami untied Alice’s hands._

_“I’m alright.” Alice said, rubbing her wrists, but her words sounded even more slurred than before. Nathanael could only watch as his – her – eyes drooped. He felt the bag being dragged across the ground._

_“Alice we can fight him! Just transform!” Fennu whispered with passion, determination on her face._

_Nathanael watched as Alice slowly removed her miraculous from her neck. Then she rummaged through her dress pocket and pulled out a familiar black box._

_“No.” Fennu breathed, looking at the box. “I’m not leaving you! There’s still a chance!”_

_“Shhh.” Alice said. Then she stroked Fennu behind the ears. “I can’t stop him. You heard him, soon I won’t be able to move.” She paused. “But I won’t let him win either.”_

_“Alice, please.” Fennu begged, her voice quiet but firm._

_“Fennu, let me do this. It’s too late for me…I-I should’ve been more careful. But I can still save you. I can make sure that you don’t fall into the hands of the bad guys. Just let me do this.” Alice pleaded. Nathanael could hear a slight crack in her voice._

_“I don’t want to leave you.” Fennu said, despair obvious in her tone._

_“And I don’t want to leave you either.” Alice admitted. Nathanael could feel his eyes fill with tears that weren’t his. “But it’s my duty.” She said, sounding more confident than before. Then she opened the box and placed the necklace inside. “Goodbye, Fennu.”_

_“No, wait! –” Fennu exclaimed, but then Alice snapped the box closed and Fennu disappeared. For a moment there was only silence, but then Nathanael could hear soft crying and felt his throat begin to burn._

_“Don’t worry Nine Tails, we’re almost at the truck. Then it’s an easy drive to the bunker.” Dr. Bösartig said with false compassion._

_Nathanael looked at the box clutched in Alice’s shaking fist. Then he watched as she fit the box through the small hole in the bag. With one eye pressed against the opening, both Alice and Nathanael breathed a sigh of relief as they saw that the box was safely hidden in the shadows and rubble._

_“Goodbye.” Alice whispered one last time._

_Then the scene melted away in front of Nathanael’s eyes and began to form an entirely new picture._

_“We can do this, Ladybug!” A male voice said as he leapt onto another rooftop. Nathanael detected a British accent. As the young man was bounding across buildings Nathanael was able to get a good look at his suit. It was similar to his – it had a white splotch down its torso and it was mostly a pale orange material. Out of the corner of his eye Nathanael saw the black tip at the end of his tail._

_“Of course we can, foxy!” A voice called back. The young man looked over and Nathanael saw Ladybug’s smiling face. But it wasn’t_ his _Ladybug – this one seemed to be in her twenties and had long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail._

_“It is quite impolite for a woman to call a gentleman ‘foxy’.” The young man replied. Although Nathanael could sense the hint of mischief in his voice._

_“Oh, bugger off Vulpine.” Ladybug shot back with a grin._

_“I see her.” The young man – who Nathanael assumed was ‘Vulpine’ – said, suddenly serious. The two heroes hid behind a nearby smokestack, the smog providing the perfect cover._

_“So, the usual plan?” Ladybug asked, turning her golden eyes on her partner._

_“You mean I distract her and almost get killed while you stay here and come up with a plan? Not bloody likely.” Vulpine said with a scoff._

_“Oi, I’m the one with the lucky charm here.” Ladybug shot back, her hands on her hips._

_“How can I forget? You keep reminding me. When do_ I _get to swoop in and save the day, eh?”_

_“Maybe one day we’ll switch miraculouses.” Ladybug replied with a wink._

_“This ginger hair and that garish red outfit? No way.”_

_Ladybug gasped and hit Vulpine’s shoulder. “You’re just jealous that I pull it off so well.” She said, throwing her hair over her shoulder._

_“Cheeky, cheeky. Let’s focus on the villain, shall we?” Vulpine replied with a laugh._

_“Fine. We can change it up. I’ll try to distract her while you pop around the back and sneak up on her, okay?”_

_“Cheers.” Vulpine responded. Nathanael rolled his eyes, or at least mentally. This guy was way too happy-go-lucky. And_ so _British._

_‘Next they’ll be talking about popping over to the pub for a strong tea.’ Nathanael thought sarcastically. But if he was being honest, he liked these two. They seemed happy, and it reminded him of his friendship with Marinette. Most of all it took his mind off of the image of Alice being dragged away. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to think about that._

_“Okay, on my count.” Ladybug said, her expression focused and her legs tensed. “One…two…three!” Then she vaulted over the smokestack and sprinted across the shingled roof, her yo-yo held menacingly in her hand._

_“What a lady.” Vulpine whistled. Then he peeked over the smokestack and saw the villain in the distance. It seemed to be a girl around Nathanael’s age. She had short red hair the same shade as his own, and a stark white mask covered her eyes. She was also wearing a cotton white dress that fluttered in the wind. There was something eerily silent about her as she stood looking at the skyline, seemingly unaware of Ladybug’s coming attack._

_Vulpine crept around the smokestack and with unnatural speed he ran to the building to his left, looping around to come behind the girl. Then he perched on a rain gutter that stuck out a little below the rooftop, waiting for the right moment._

_“Hey, Mystic!” Ladybug called. Vulpine peeked his head over the rooftop to see Ladybug standing before the girl, hands on her hips. “You’ve terrorized the dreams of English citizens for too long. It’s time you finally meet your biggest nightmare.”_

_Vulpine scoffed. “Bloody dramatic that woman is.” He said under his breath._

_“I am not the enemy.” The girl – Mystic – said softly. “I was given a gift. I let people see their greatest desire, and I show them how they can take it.” She was still looking far away into the distance._

_“Don’t play all innocent, villain. You’re the reason for all these crimes. You’ve made the streets dangerous at night, increased the number of murders, hurt businesses, and now even the king is off his rocker.” Ladybug got into her fighting stance. “Now it’s up to me to take you down.”_

_“Me?” Mystic echoed, her gaze a million miles away. “What about your partner? The one who is hiding over there?” She asked, pointing in Vulpine’s direction. He quickly put his head down._

_“Ah hell, so much for that plan.” Vulpine said, running a hand through his hair as he tried to come up with a new strategy._

_“Well, it looks like you caught me, mate.” Vulpine finally said, climbing up to stand on the roof. “Guess I’m not as sly as I thought.” He added with a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his head. Nathanael mentally groaned and Ladybug looked at him with narrowed eyes, not understanding what he was trying to accomplish._

_“Then again, I’m not a swift fox for nothing.” Then with lightning speed Vulpine rushed at Mystic and pinned her arms behind her back. “Now, Ladybug!”_

_Ladybug nodded her head in understanding and threw her yo-yo in the air. Vulpine quickly stepped back and watched as the wire coiled tightly around their villain._

_“Good work, foxy.” Ladybug said with a wink. “Now let’s see who’s behind this mask.”_

_“Probably a bloody weirdo by the looks of her.” Vulpine said, looking the girl up and down. “Oi, why’d you mess with the crown, eh? What’s in it for you?”_

_Mystic seemed to look straight through Vulpine. “Does there always need to be some sort of gain? Maybe I like to watch the world burn, kind of like you, right brother?”_

_Vulpine took a step back. “Wh-what did you call me?” He whispered._

_“You’ve always played the good guy, always done the right thing, but when you really think about it, are you actually the hero in this story?” Mystic asked him, her expression calm even though she was tied up on the ground._

_Vulpine stormed towards her. “I’m sick of your games, Mystic. My sister died a long time ago –” He went to pull off her mask, and when he saw her face he immediately recoiled._

_“J-Jeanie?” Vulpine asked, shock in his voice._

_“Ladybug doesn’t even know, does she? About what you did to our family.” Mystic replied coolly, never breaking eye contact with Vulpine._

_“I don’t care about his past.” Ladybug said from behind her partner. “He’s the best person I know. He’s my best friend. You can’t change that, Mystic.”_

_“Oh, but you should care, because it affected_ your _family too.”_

_“It was an accident.” Vulpine said shakily, looking at Mystic. “Jeanie –”_

_“You have a darkness inside of you, one that has only grown since that night, since the night you set the house on fire and killed our parents.” Mystic said, her voice like ice._

_“A fire?” Ladybug whispered to herself, her wide eyes on Vulpine._

_“I didn’t mean to, father –” Vulpine began._

_“Don’t blame this on father.” Mystic interrupted._

_“No, he was drunk, he was hurting mum, I-I had to do something. The fire poker was right there…”_

_“But then you got scared, and you dropped it. That’s when the sparks flew. What caught fire first brother? The curtains? My baby blanket? Mum?”_

_“Stop!” Vulpine yelled, holding his hands over his ears._

_“And you know London, when a fire starts, it spreads.” Mystic continued, ignoring the pain in Vulpine’s wide eyes._

_“No.” Ladybug whispered, her hand covering her mouth._

_“Ladybug and Vulpine, neighbors before they even met, before they became superheroes. Did you even know that you went to the same orphanage?” Mystic said in a sing-songy voice._

_“You’re lying! You can’t be my sister! She –”_

_“Died?” Mystic interrupted. “I was only a little one, wasn’t I? I was asleep in my bed when it happened. I was dreaming.” She growled. “And then I became a dream. Then I got these powers.”_

_“B-but how? Jeanie –”_

_“Because this is your second chance, this is your chance to make up for what you have done.” Mystic said, moving to get on her knees. “Brother, don’t you want to make it right?”_

_“Yes.” Vulpine breathed. Nathanael could feel the tears in his eyes. “Jeanie what do I have to do?”_

_“Vulpine…” Ladybug warned, her shoulders tense._

_“You love me, right brother?” Mystic continued, ignoring Ladybug._

_“Of course I do.” Vulpine said, moving to kneel in front of his sister and putting a hand on her cheek. “Jean Bean, I tried so hard to save you, but it spread too quickly. Every day I’ve hated myself for what I did to you. What I did to mum.”_

_“Well there’s only one thing you can do.” Mystic said, giving him a sweet smile. “Kill Ladybug.”_

_Those two words shocked Nathanael’s system. He finally realized which this chosen was. ‘No, no please, don’t show me this. Anything but this.’ Nathanael begged, but it was no use._

_Vulpine pulled his hand away from his sister’s cheek. “Wh-what?”_

_“Take her miraculous. Then we’ll be one step closer to bringing back mum.”_

_“Bringing back mum?” Vulpine whispered._

_“Yes brother. We can be a family again.” Mystic said, her smile warm. But Nathanael could see the evil glint in her eye._

_‘Don’t trust her Vulpine!’ Nathanael mentally screamed. But this was a memory, he couldn’t change the past._

_“A family…?” He echoed. Then he stood up and looked at Ladybug. “Ladybug, please…”_

_“She’s lying to you Vulpine. This is just another one of her bloody tricks.” Ladybug said, her eyes desperate._

_“She’s telling the truth! I can feel it!” Vulpine said, clenching his fists._

_“I lost my family too. I would do almost anything to get them back, but I can’t do this. We are the only defense this city has. I can’t just hand over my miraculous to the villain.” Ladybug explained._

_“I thought you cared about me! I thought you were my friend!” Vulpine shot back._

_“Snap out of it! She’s just using you!”_

_“She’s my sister! I don’t even know who you are!”_

_“I’m the girl whose family you killed!” Ladybug screamed back, then she immediately covered her mouth. Nathanael could see that there were tears in her eyes. “Vulpine –”_

_“You’re right. All this time I thought I was a hero. But really I was a villain.” Suddenly the wind around them began to shift, and the clouds began to darken. “So if you won’t give me your miraculous…I’ll just have to take it.”_

_“I don’t want to fight you.” Ladybug said softly, tears still in her eyes._

_“I don’t think you really have a choice.” Mystic said from behind Vulpine. Nathanael could picture her smug grin._

_Then the world collapsed before Nathanael’s eyes. Time itself seemed to swirl around Vulpine, who was the epicenter of chaos._

_“Ladybug always took the lead, always saved the day. She was just jealous because you were more powerful.” Mystic said, still tied up on the ground but seemingly unaffected by the madness around her._

_“Vulpine, stop this!” Ladybug called, the wind making her unbalanced. She didn’t even have her yo-yo to defend herself._

_“I can’t change who I am.” Vulpine growled, raising his arms. The wind picked up even faster and debris began to fly around the rooftop._

_“I can’t lose you, Vulpine. You’re all I have left!” Ladybug sobbed._

_Nathanael could feel Vulpine’s hands waver, almost like he was about to stop, but then Ladybug gasped in pain. Eyes wide in shock, Ladybug looked down and saw a sharp piece of metal sticking out of her abdomen. Nathanael saw a line of blood trickle down her mouth. Then she fell to her knees._

_The whole world stopped for a moment. “Ladybug!” Vulpine yelled, rushing to his partner’s side. The wind grew still and the debris fell to the ground. Even the sun managed to peek through the clouds again._

_Vulpine pulled Ladybug gingerly into his lap. “Bug, please be okay. God, what have I done?” He sobbed, looking down at Ladybug’s pale face. His hands were already covered in blood._

_“It’s – not your fault.” Ladybug managed to cough out, more blood spilling from her lips._

_“But it is!” Vulpine cried. Nathanael could feel his throat burning._

_“Please. Vulpine. You’re my best friend, that’ll never change. Please don’t let the darkness overtake you, okay? Promise me you’ll be happy. And maybe think of me once in a while, okay?”_

_“This isn’t goodbye.” Vulpine said firmly._

_Ladybug smiled. “Of course it isn’t. You could never get rid of me, you bloody idiot.” She started to laugh, but then it quickly turned into another coughing fit._

_“Ladybug –” Vulpine said, holder her closer._

_“I’ll be alright.” Ladybug said, smiling. “And you will be, too.” She smiled up at him once more, then her mouth slackened and she became limp in his arms._

_“Ladybug? Bug! Please, I’m sorry! Don’t leave me!” Vulpine cried, sobbing into his best friend’s chest. Then he looked up and saw Mystic watching him. “You! You did this! How could you?!”_

_“Always trying to put the blame on someone else, aren’t you brother?” Mystic said with a grin._

_Vulpine laid Ladybug gently on the ground, and then he got to his feet. “I’ll kill you.” He said through gritted teeth._

_Mystic laughed. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”_

_Then Vulpine used his speed and went to strike Mystic, but when his hand should’ve made contact it simply passed right through._

_“You haven’t caught on yet, have you brother?”_

_“What are you?” Vulpine asked with narrowed eyes._

_“Well, I guess I can say that I am a part of you.”_

_“You’re lying.”_

_“You’ve never had a weapon, you’ve never used any power other than your speed, and Ladybug would usually do all of the real fighting.” Mystic began, phasing through the yo-yo’s wire and getting to her feet. “You were too afraid to unlock your real potential.”_

_“Wh-what are you talking about?”_

_“The fox miraculous responds to the heart of the wielder, and your heart was_ weak _. You kept pushing down your power, keeping it from growing, you should have known that there would be consequences.”_

_Vulpine looked down at his miraculous._

_“The seed of darkness inside of you, it began to harden. It took some of your power, and created me.” Mystic opened her arms wide. “Your own heart betrayed you.”_

_“I would never –”_

_“Oh, but you did.” Mystic interrupted. “What you just did only a few moments ago? That wasn’t the first time you changed reality. Making_ me _was.”_

_“No.” Vulpine said, but he didn’t sound very confident._

_“You were the villain all along. You just didn’t know it. But doesn’t it make sense? Your whole life you’ve been fighting yourself, your own inner demons, why should this have been any different?”_

_“I don’t believe you.”_

_“Of course you do, but keep denying it all you want. I’m not actually real, am I? As I told you, I’m just a dream.” Then Mystic faded away, and soon it was like she was never there in the first place._

_Vulpine fell to his knees. “It was me. The whole time it was me. I killed her. I killed her. It was me and I killed her.” His voice sounded empty. He slowly got to his feet and walked over to where Ladybug’s body lay. Gently he closed her eyelids, stroking her face one last time. Then he took off her earrings. He watched as her transformation melted away. Nathanael looked at the dead woman who laid before him. She had on an early 19 th century dress and her hair was now out of her ponytail, fanning her face. She was beautiful. _

_Vulpine went through her purse and found her black box, and numbly he put the earrings in the box and snapped it shut._

_“Shan.” Vulpine croaked out. His own transformation went away in a flash of light. Nathanael watched sa Shan floated over to the girl, a tiny paw covering her mouth._

_“Oh no.” Shan breathed. “Finn –”_

_“I was never a hero.” He said. “I’m giving up my miraculous._

_“Finn, you do not have to –” Shan began quietly._

_“Yes, I do. I’m sorry, Shan.”_

_“It is my fault. I should have known.”_

_“No, I’m done letting other people take the blame. This was my bloody fault.” Finn said. Nathanael’s vision became blurry as tears began to well up in Finn’s eyes. “Goodbye, Shan.”_

_Shan flew up in front of Finn’s face and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Are you sure about this? Mystic was not wrong, there is still a chance to bring her back.”_

_Finn clenched his fists. “No. Bringing people back from the dead, it’s too dangerous of a dream. It only ends badly, doesn’t it?” He asked._

_Shan nodded her head. “Goodbye, Finn.”_

_Finn removed the necklace from around his neck, and then he placed it gingerly inside of his own box._

_“Please Finn, try to find happiness.”_

_Finn looked up at Shan and gave her a tired smile. “Thank you.” With that, he snapped the box closed and Shan disappeared. With a black box in each hand, he slowly got to his feet._

_He looked over the edge of the roof and saw the Thames only a house or two away. With all of his strength he threw one box into the river, and then the other. He watched as the two dark specks floated away, going who-knows-where. As Nathanael watched the ripples through Finn’s eyes, the whole scene began to ripple and change again._

_“It’s really over.” A voice said, full of relief. Nathanael saw a battlefield stretched out before him. There were cannons, American flags, and bayonets littered on the ground. In the distance a man in a red coat was waving a white flag._

_“We won!” Another voice said. Soon Nathanael’s vision went dark as the body he was inhabiting was enveloped in a hug. “We beat the British! We really beat the British!” Then a pause. “Let’s go tar and feather a loyalist!”_

_“Kitty, I hope you’re joking.” The first voice said, pulling the other person away to get a good look at them. Nathanael was looking at a girl maybe four or five years older than him with blonde hair stuffed into a cap and striking blue eyes. But what Nathanael noticed first was that she was wearing a costume that was similar to Chat Noir’s, except she seemed to be wearing a black, revolutionary-styled coat over it._

_“Of course I was joking.” The blonde haired girl said with a huff, crossing her arms. “Mostly.” She mumbled._

_“Kitty, don’t make me use my slingshot.” The other voice warned._

_“Fine, fine. Let’s have no fun instead.” Kitty conceded, resting her staff casually on her shoulder. Nathanael saw that there was a short blade on the end of it._

_“Good.” The other voice said. She sounded pleased._

_“Well, whaddya wanna do instead, Snowball?” Kitty asked, wrapping an arm around the other girl’s shoulders with her free hand._

_Nathanael felt the girl’s cheeks heat up. ‘Is she blushing?’ Nathanael wondered. ‘Wait…loyalists, revolutionary outfits, female fox and black cat miraculous holders?’ Nathanael finally realized what story he was in._

_“Snowball?” The girl asked. She didn’t sound amused._

_“Come on, your costume is completely white. And even your military uniform has a white fur collar.” Kitty said, stroking the soft material around “Snowball’s” neck. Nathanael felt the girl shiver in response to her partner’s touch._

_“You know I get cold easily.” The girl pouted. “And Geming and I worked hard to pick out the perfect name. Vulpes: The Latin word for fox.” She declared, pride in her voice._

_“That’s alright I guess. But what I’d much rather like to know is your real name.” Kitty said with a wink. Nathanael felt Vulpes’ heart skip a beat._

_“You know that we aren’t supposed to –”_

_Kitty sighed. “I know, I know. And I respect that. It’s just we’ve gotten so close, and you’re – special – to me. It’d just be nice to call you by your real name.” She moved her arm away from Vulpes’ shoulders and kicked a pebble._

_“I’m special to you?” Vulpes asked quietly._

_Kitty looked up at her and gave her a wide smile. “Well, of course you are! We’ve only been fighting this war together for seven years.”_

_“Oh.” Vulpes replied. Nathanael could sense her disappointment._

_“Oh shoot. Did I say something wrong?” Kitty asked, rubbing the back of her head._

_“Of course not. You’re special to me too.” Vulpes looked at Kitty and Nathanael could see a slight blush on the cat’s face._

_“Especially annoying, maybe.” Kitty said with an awkward laugh. “I’ve gotten us into quite a lot of scraps, haven’t I?”_

_Vulpes laughed. “I’ll have to agree, but you have also gotten us_ out _of more. Life with you has been quite the adventure.” She said wistfully._

_“Now it’s back to the boring old routine again.” Kitty said with a pout. Vulpes only sighed in response._

_“This has been nice though, while it lasted.” Kitty added, looking at the battlefield._

_“While it lasted?”_

_“Well, yeah. The war is over. Isn’t this where the heroes take off their masks and go on with their lives?”_

_“You never struck me as the person who’d want to return to normal civilian life so quickly.” Vulpes replied with a raised eyebrow._

_“Oh no, of course I don’t. I’d much rather be gallivanting around the colonies in leather all day.” Kitty said with a wink. Again Vulpes’ heart fluttered. “It just feels like things are ending, you know?” They both paused for a moment._

_“Remember when you dumped tea into the harbor?” Vulpes said with a giggle._

_“Of course, that’s the first time we met. Boy, was I a rowdy thirteen-year-old.” Kitty said with a laugh of her own._

_“I was absolutely scandalized.” Vulpes said, smiling._

_“Well you_ did _come from a loyalist family.”_

_Vulpes’ smile faded. “Yeah, that was also the day I ran away from home.”_

_Kitty suddenly became sheepish. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, I should’ve known better. Gosh, I’m an idiot!” She said, rapping her head with her fist._

_“Hey, it’s okay. That was also the first day I met Geming. It was the day I became a superhero. It was the day that we became partners. That was a good day.”_

_Kitty’s eyes lit up. “Wasn’t a good day for the British though. That was a lot of tea.”_

_They both erupted into a fit of laughter. Then a stern-looking soldier walked up to them. “Men, we’ve appreciated your help during this long war. The intelligence you’ve given us, your ferocity in battle, it was because of you two that we were able to pull off this miraculous victory. I know that you’ve kept to the shadows, and that history will probably not remember you, but I will.”_

_“It has been a pleasure serving you, General Washington.” Vulpes declared, her back straight._

_“What, um –_ he _– said.” Kitty coughed out._

_Washington smiled. “Thank you…” He paused to look at the lock of brown hair that had escaped Vulpes’ hat, and she quickly stuffed it back in and gave him a sheepish smile. “…men.” He finished. Nathanael saw the twinkle in his eye before he went off with the soldier who was waiting for him._

_‘Wait, was that Lafayette?’ Nathanael thought, hearing the young soldier’s French accent as he was talking with Washington. His brain was beginning to hurt._

_“I can’t believe that we had to pose as men.” Kitty said, rolling her eyes._

_“You know they don’t allow female soldiers. Besides, I don’t think that the general was fooled.” Vulpes replied, watching Washington leave._

_“Still though, no one will remember us.” Kitty huffed. “We do all of the work and get none of the glory.”_

_“I’ll remember us.” Vulpes said softly. Kitty’s eyes widened, then she looked down and kicked another pebble._

_“So, you probably already have a plan of what you’re going to do now, don’t you?” Kitty asked._

_“What makes you say that?”_

_“Come on, you’re always the one with the plan.”_

_Vulpes giggled. “I suppose that’s true.” Then she sighed. “I do have an idea that I’ve been thinking about.” She said slowly._

_Kitty looked up at her. “Don’t leave me in suspense.” She said with a grin._

_“Don’t laugh at me though.” Vulpes’ warned, raising a finger._

_Kitty put a dramatic hand on her chest. “I would never laugh, Snowball.”_

_Vulpes flicked one of the buttons on her partner’s coat. Then she took a deep breath. “I want a farm.”_

_Kitty choked a little and looked at Vulpes with wide eyes. “You want a what?”_

_“I have enough money saved, and I wanted a place to settle down, someplace secluded and peaceful, so…I want a farm.”_

_“A farm?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“With cows and horses and pigs?”_

_“That is usually what a farm contains, yes.”_

_“And chickens too?”_

_“You said that you wouldn’t laugh.”_

_“I’m not laughing. I’m just…digesting.”_

_They stood in silence for a moment. Kitty rubbed her neck nervously. “So you already know what you’re going to do. This is really over for us.”_

_Vulpes’ looked into Kitty’s eyes. Nathanael could tell that her heart was beating rapidly._

_“Well, it’s been fun partner, while it lasted.” Kitty said, holding out her hand. Vulpes looked down at it for a moment, then took it gently in hers._

_“I’m going to miss you, Snowba –” Kitty began, but then Vulpes pulled on her partner’s hand, bringing her in for a gentle kiss._

_After a moment Vulpes broke the kiss and looked at Kitty nervously. Nathanael could feel her face burning up. Kitty looked back with a dazed expression._

_“I want you to live on the farm with me.” Vulpes blurted out._

_Kitty’s eyes widened in shock. “Vulpes –”_

_“Abigail.”_

_“What?”_

_“My real name is Abigail.” Vulpes admitted, looking down at her boots. Then she felt a gentle hand on her chin and Kitty lifted up her face to look at her._

_“My name is…Modesty.” Kitty said, her face red._

_Abigail snorted, but then quickly covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry.”_

_“Oh don’t be. I hate my name.”_

_“It doesn’t suit you.” Vulpes said, biting her lip._

_“I know.” Kitty said, groaning in embarrassment._

_“Can I keep calling you Kitty?”_

_“Yes, please do…Abigail.” Kitty said with a smile. Then her eyes flicked down to her partner’s lips._

_“So was that a yes?” Abigail asked, taking a step closer to her partner._

_“Hmm?” Kitty said, lifting her eyes up to look at Abigail. There was a spark of desire in them. And a spark of something stronger too. “Well I don’t see a contract anywhere…so how do we make it official?” She asked with a smirk._

_Vulpes rolled her eyes grabbed her partner’s lapels, pulling her into another kiss, this one longer than the last. Kitty hummed with pleasure but then after a moment pulled away._

_“This better not be a trick to make me clean up after the animals.” Kitty warned._

_“You bet it is.” Vulpes said with a wink._

_Kitty laughed and kissed her partner again. Nathanael could have sworn that he heard clapping in the background, and possibly some excited French. It was a perfect moment, and it made Nathanael’s heart warm, but he also felt like he was violating it in some way. He tried to will the scene to change, and as if on command his world was covered in a warm light and he left the two superheroes to their happily ever after._

_Nathanael began to feel like he was floating. All around him were memories. It reminded him of the night he became a superhero, right before he opened the box. It was his own memories that guided him to the black box, that guided him to Yishu, that guided him to his destiny, so this all made sense in some way. It felt right._

_He saw hundreds of fox miraculous holders stretched throughout a timeline. Some female, some male, some younger, some older. Some got their happy endings, others didn’t. He never realized how connected they all were. He never realized that he was a part of a history much larger than his own._

_So many lives, so many memories in his head, it was getting overwhelming. It was too much. Soon the warm light became brighter, and eventually it was blinding. Nathanael put his arms up to cover his eyes. He felt so small in the timeline of the universe. Then everything went black, and he felt like he was falling._

Nathanael opened his eyes and he was in Paris once more. When he looked around he saw that he was still falling to his death.

‘All of that happened in only what? A few seconds?’ Nathanael wondered, still unable to fully process exactly _what_ happened. As he saw the traffic of cars only a few meters away, he was beginning to think that it didn’t really matter. He was dead anyway.

“Why did you show me this?” Nathanael asked his miraculous, which he was still holding tightly in his hand. It was glowing fiercely, like it was a falling star in the night sky.

Maybe his miraculous wanted him to be okay with his own ending. Maybe it was supposed to comfort him, but all he felt was that too much of his story still needed to be told. This couldn’t be his end; it didn’t feel right. And yet when Nathanael glanced down the pavement was still drawing closer. Maybe the end would come anyway, whether he liked it or not.

Then a black shadow came out of nowhere and grabbed Nathanael out of the air. Nathanael realized that he was being held bridal style in someone’s arms. He looked up and saw Chat Noir’s grinning face.

“Nathanael!” Yishu said, flying off of Chat’s shoulder to grab Nathanael’s face with her tiny paws. Her eyes were wide with worry.

“Did my biggest fan miss me?” Chat Noir said, giving him a wink.

Nathanael released a breath he didn’t realize that he was holding, and then he smiled at his friend. “I really did, actually.” Then the fear and panic he had previously felt came back up to the surface. He was about to die. _He was going to die_. Tears began to stream uncontrollably from his face, though he tried to fight it. Yishu wiped some of his tears away and went to nuzzle his cheek. Having Yishu back at his side made him feel more complete, and gave him the strength and comfort that he so desperately needed right now. Nathanael choked back a sob.

Chat’s grin quickly faded and he became serious. “Don’t worry, Nathanael. I got you. I’m going to set us down under the Arc, okay?”

Nathanael only nodded his head, worried that if he tried to speak he would lose what little composure he had. Alice being dragged away, Vulpine holding Ladybug’s dead body, him falling to his death, those images were still seared onto the back of his eyelids. He felt like he had aged 1000 years.

Chat’s feet lightly touched down on the pavement. “Are you ready for me to set you down?”  Nathanael looked up at him and attempted a smile, nodding his head. Chat slowly helped Nathanael to his feet.

Nathanael breathed a sigh of relief when he felt solid ground, and then he blew a lock of hair out of his face. “Wait to take your sweet time, alley cat.” Nathanael scolded, punching Chat’s arm.

Chat looked at him in shock, his eyes still full of concern, but when he saw the tired smile on Nathanael’s face his gaze softened. “Me-ouch. Sorry but it was nearly im-paw-sible to find you.”

“How _did_ you find me?” Nathanael asked. He felt Yishu rest on his head and begin to braid his hair. Immediately he felt more relaxed, more at home.

“Apparently Alya and her family were driving past here on their way home from dinner, and she saw Volpina on the roof. Those glasses must give her super-vision or something.” Chat said, shaking his head. “I think she’s liveblogging this whole thing right now, despite Ladybug’s efforts to get her to go home.”

“Where _is_ Ladybug?” Nathanael asked, looking around for a red blur.

“She’s fighting Volpina right now.” Chat said, bouncing a little on his feet. Nathanael could tell that he was anxious to go help his lady. Nathanael would feel better if Marinette had backup as well – Volpina was unstable at this point.

“Go help her. I’ll meet you up there soon.” Nathanael said.

“Are you sure?” Chat asked, worry in his tone.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just…need a minute.” Nathanael admitted. He felt Yishu stroke his hair, and his kwami let out a concerned hum.

“Okay, but don’t rush into battle if you don’t feel ready, okay? You’ve done enough tonight, Volpina already seems weakened. You can sit this one out.”

“No, I feel like I’m supposed to be up there. Like…this was why I was chosen.” Nathanael said, looking up at the Arc. He couldn’t see Ladybug or Volpina from this angle. “Besides, I know how to defeat her.”

“You do?” Chat asked, his wide green eyes glowing in the darkness.

“When I was falling, I think I unlocked a new power.” Nathanael said, trying not to think back on the most terrifying moments of his life.

“A new power?” Yishu echoed pensively.

“So that’s why you were glowing.” Chat mused, putting a thoughtful hand on his chin.

“Glowing?” Nathanael asked, he looked down at his miraculous, which was still clutched in his hand. It looked perfectly normal now, well, at least as normal as a miraculous could be.

“Your miraculous was glowing like a super nova, Nathanael. Without it, Chat Noir might not have found you in the darkness in time.” Yishu said.

“Yeah it was like a beacon. I could see it from a mile away.” Chat Noir added.

Nathanael took a deep breath and put a hand on his forehead. “Okay, geez. I need to process all of this.” He knew that he and Yishu needed to have a talk before he tried facing Volpina again. “You go help Ladybug, I promise that I’ll meet you up there.”

“Nathanael –” Chat began, that same worried expression on his face.

“I promise I’m fine. Just keep Ladybug safe. Volpina is out for blood, and now that she thinks I’m out of the way, she’s ready for her big finale.”

Chat Noir nodded his head in understanding and clenched his fists. “That won’t happen.” He said. Then he unstrapped his staff from his belt and gave Nathanael one last salute before extending his weapon and climbing into the air.

“Nathanael, it is so good to see you.” Yishu said, coming to float in front of Nathanael’s face. He could see that there were tears in her eyes.

Nathanael stroked behind one of her ears and smiled. “It’s good to see you too, Yishu. I missed you.”

“When I saw you falling, I-I –” Yishu began, despair in her voice. It reminded him of when Alice said goodbye to Fennu.

“It’s okay. I’m right here. My story doesn’t end today, Yishu, I promise you.”

Yishu gave him a watery smile. “It better not.”

Nathanael smiled back and stroked behind her ears once more. Then his expression turned serious and he dropped his hands to his sides. “So tell me what you know about this glowing miraculous thing. And all of the past chosen you told me about – Alice, Finn, Abigail – I saw some of their memories, through _their_ eyes. And-and before, Volpina and I shared some memories, and it seemed like I was getting _through_ to Lila.” Nathanael took a deep breath. “What kind of power did I just get? What just happened?”

Yishu looked at him with wide eyes. “I-I do not know. In all my time…” She stopped midsentence, furrowing her brow.

Nathanael looked down at his miraculous. The way the moonlight reflected off of it almost made it look like it was…winking at him.

“Nathanael…this has never happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear which past fox miraculous holder was your favorite, or which story you liked the most! Maybe I'll add some more stuff about Alice, Finn, or Abigail if you guys want!!
> 
> Happy almost New Year!


	28. White on White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I know this took a while but I've been very busy with midterms and my birthday and life in general. Also, I wanted this chapter to be perfect because...*cue drum roll*...it's the last chapter! AHH! But don't worry, there will be an epilogue to wrap everything up :D 
> 
> So I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter, and please feel free to comment and let me know what you guys have thought about my story. It feels weird that it's almost coming to a close! I hope you're all having a miraculous day!

Now Nathanael really understood the expression, “seeing your life flash before your eyes.” Except, when he was falling he didn’t just see his own life, he saw thousands of lives spark and crackle before him like the embers of a dying fire, all beautiful and meaningful and full of tragedy, victory, love – things that were so painfully human. Memories, none of them his own, and yet they were now a part of him somehow.

He remembered the night he first transformed. He remembered seeing the face of an animal appear before him in his dreams. The fiery eyes of a fox still glowed in the darkness behind his eyelids, challenging him, analyzing him, understanding him. Nathanael realized now that that was the miraculous, staring into his heart, giving him his destiny.

Ever since he became a superhero he only saw his miraculous as a tool. It was the object of his power, the object that Yishu would inhabit when he was Renard, the object that he would clutch in his hand for comfort. As he was holding his miraculous now – the twilight of the city acting as a backdrop, Yishu looking at him with wide eyes, sounds of fighting above him – he finally realized that it was much more than an object. It was alive – a small, living, ancient organism bringing warmth and strength into his open palm. As Nathanael watched it glow – almost like it was taking calm, soothing breaths – he felt like he himself was breathing for the first time.

“Nathanael…this has never happened.” Yishu said softly. Her eyes were a million miles away, but now Nathanael could meet her there, could walk by her side into the past, could share her stories. He had seen them all, he had lived them all. All because of this miraculous.

“I guess these miraculouses really live up to their names.” Nathanael replied with a bewildered laugh, clutching the fox tail tightly in his hand.

“You really saw them all?” Yishu asked, her eyes as large as moons. She looked like a child, yet there was a pain in the furrow of her brow that only came from years of experience. Yishu was a contradiction – Nathanael could never quite pin her down, but there was beauty in that. Sometimes questions didn’t need to have an answer, much like a painting didn’t need to have one meaning. “Abigail? Finn?” Nathanael could hear the crack in Yishu’s voice. “A-alice?”

“I looked through the eyes of every chosen before me.” Nathanael said softly, still in awe of what he had just experienced. He could still feel a slight tremor in his hands – he had felt the brush of death, death that came in the form of unforgiving pavement – and yet there was an electricity in his veins, a new sense of purpose. He had been so close to death, and yet he never felt more alive.

Nathanael noticed the sadness in Yishu’s eyes and he knew what she was thinking. “Alice loved you so much.” Nathanael began. “I could feel it. You saved her – gave her powers, gave her a purpose. But more importantly,” Nathanael paused, realizing that he was speaking for both of them now, “you gave her a friend. You gave her a _family_. You were worthy of her sacrifice, and she was happy to give it. She was happy that she was given the chance to save her family.”

Yishu gave him a watery smile. “I miss her.” She admitted a little shakily.

“I know.” Nathanael said with a sad smile. “But the past, it never really stays there, does it? The past follows us all, like a shadow, whether we like it or not.” He could see one black butterfly in the corner of his vision, coming to rest at the bottom of the Arc. He had tried running away from his past, ignoring it, forcing it deeper down the more it bubbled to the surface. But it wasn’t that simple.

“Memories, feelings, those things still exist in the present. They are meant to be there, we’re meant to learn from them, they’re the roots that give us the chance to grow. Alice will live on in our memories, Yishu. She will live in the view from the Notre Dame, in the city alleys, in the Dupain pastries.” Nathanael said that last part with a soft laugh. “She will live in both of us. She will live in here.” He said, lifting up his miraculous. “The past is not something that is meant to make the path before us sad, or gray, or dark,” Nathanael continued, looking back at the black butterfly. Its wings fluttered slightly in the breeze. “It’s meant to light our way.”

With those last words Nathanael’s miraculous began to glow a little more intensely, and the black butterfly left its place on the Arc and fluttered away, up towards the moon. “Yeah, the past is nothing to be afraid of.” Nathanael breathed.

After a moment he heard Yishu’s soft laughter and turned back to look at her. “I have never had one of my chosen…teach _me_ a lesson like that.” She admitted with a soft smile. Then she floated up to his face and gave him a playful tap on the nose with her small paw. “It is embarrassing.”

Nathanael laughed as well and put down his hand, letting his miraculous rest on his collarbone. “Your wisdom must have rubbed off on me. Or maybe all of your braids gave me freaky new powers.” Nathanael said, wiggling his fingers.

Yishu giggled, but then her expression turned serious. “No, this new ability – to see into the past, to share the past with others, it was all because of you. It is because of who you are, Nathanael.” She explained, pride and affection in her eyes. “I know you had a difficult past, but you have come to value its importance. You have chosen to tame it rather than letting it consume you. The miraculous recognized this, and in your time of need, gave you this gift.”

Nathanael blushed and looked down at his shoes. He didn’t see it as being that big of a deal. He felt like he should have been able to do this much sooner, rather than let his memories cause his hands to shake and his ears to fill with Hawmoth’s voice. He should never have let the butterflies creep into the corners of his vision. His memories had acted like shackles, and Nathanael was ashamed that he allowed them to weigh him down for so long.

“You never cease to impress me, Nathanael. Out of all of my chosen, in my thousands of years of memories, I have never encountered a heart as resilient as yours.”

Nathanael looked up at his kwami in shock. “R-really?” He choked out.

“No one has ever unlocked the power of the miraculous without my help. No one has ever had such clear perception of the world. The miraculous has always chosen the holder, but, Nathanael, I think that in your case, _you_ chose the miraculous. Your spirit, your _will_ drew the miraculous to you. Your heart challenged it to find you.”

Nathanael rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t remember ever trying to do that, but the more he thought about it – watching Ladybug fly through the air, seeing Chat Noir stand up against any akuma – the more he remembered how much he had wanted to _be_ like them. He remembered not wanting to feel alone. He remembered needing someone – _anyone_ –  to fill the silence that he had thought he was so comfortable in. When he had looked at the city skyline from his roof, when he would see the soft glow of the lights, he remembered how desperately he wanted to glow himself.

Nathanael took a deep breath, trying to unravel the tangle of emotions that were moving like the tails of small stars within him. Could his heart really be capable of all that? Could Nathanael really be that special? There were a million lives inside of him now, but on top of that there were a million Nathanaels. He was beginning to realize that people were made up of infinite shades of emotions, all layered on top of each other to form a complete image, a complete individual. He had so much inside of him, so many thoughts and memories and feelings and endings and beginnings – his heart felt like it was about to burst in an explosion of color.

He remembered a line from a poem he read in class earlier that year. It was by Walt Whitman.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well I contradict myself; I am large, I contain multitudes.” Nathanael whispered under his breath, suddenly recognizing the universe that was expanding inside of him.

“Walt Whitman.” Yishu said. “He was a very talented chosen. He had such a connection with nature.”

“Wait, Whitman was a fox superhero?” Nathanael said, dumbfounded. He tried not to imagine that old bearded man in a spandex suit. “I don’t remember seeing any of his memor–” Then he saw the playful glint in Yishu’s eye. “You were joking.” He said flatly, trying and failing to give Yishu a disapproving glare. His heart warmed when he heard her laughter.

“Such a strong heart, such a formidable hero, and yet still so gullible.” Yishu said fondly, floating to rest on Nathanael’s head.

“Yeah yeah.”

“Ladybug!” Nathanael heard Chat Noir’s voice from the top of the Arc. His expression quickly became serious and he held his miraculous in his hand once more.

“Yishu. Are you okay to transform?” Nathanael asked, scanning the Arc for a flash of black or a streak of red, but from where he was standing he couldn’t see anything. He bit back a frustrated growl – he should’ve already been up there helping.

“I am more than okay. It is time to join the fight.” Yishu replied, a firmness in her tone.

“Right.” Nathanael said. As he opened his mouth he realized that when he transformed things would be different. He wouldn’t be the same Renard that fought Volpina last time. He would be carrying on his back the memories and knowledge of thousands of years. He wouldn’t just be fighting for himself, or for Marinette, or Adrien, or Lila, or even for this city – he would be fighting for all of the chosen before him who never had the chance to win, to finish their story.

He looked down at his miraculous one last time. The white tail held the past within it, and it had extended that power to him. It was time to wield it. “Yishu,” Nathanael took a deep breath, “transforme moi!”

An intense golden light surrounded him, and when he opened his eyes he was in his familiar fox costume. It looked the same, but he felt lighter, faster, stronger. He felt balanced. He raised his grappling hook and pointed it towards the moon. Then he smiled to himself, pulled the trigger, and watched the hook fly.

 

 

“Ooo it looks like the bug almost got squashed that time.” Volpina said. She was standing in the center of the Arc’s roof, on a platform that let her look down on the two heroes. “Is the little insect getting _tired_?” She spat out that last part and snapped the whip in her hand. Ladybug barely managed to dodge it. Renard noticed that she was wearing roller skates.

“ _Don’t touch her_.” Chat Noir growled, his claws charged with crackling black energy.

“And what are _you_ going to do about it? I’m inside of her, remember? Kill me and you kill an innocent girl.” Volpina said, a victorious flash in her eyes.

Renard came to land lightly a few meters behind Volpina. He thought about what Volpina had just said. ‘I’m inside of her.’ He repeated in his mind. He’d never heard an akuma talk like that, almost as if it and Lila were two independent beings – like Lila was more of a hostage than an ally.

Chat, who hadn’t seemed to notice Renard, growled again and ran towards Volpina, hand raised as if he going to strike her.

‘He wouldn’t.’ Nathanael thought in horror, watching as Chat kept running, a look of fury in his eyes.

“Chat!” Ladybug yelled. Nathanael could tell that she was a little unsteady on her feet.

Chat ignored her and kept running. He moved his hand as if he was going to hit Volpina, but at the last second he slammed it to the ground and a deep crack began to form, opening under Volpina’s feet.

Nathanael could see the look of fear on her face as she was about to fall through the opening, but then her shock transformed into a smug smile and she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Chat lifted his fist, the cataclysm used, and got back on his feet. Nathanael watched as he ran a frustrated hand through is hair. Then the cat looked up and made eye contact with Renard.

“Looks like you decided to join the party.” Chat said with a tired half-smile.

“I thought you were going to –” Renard began, his eyes wide.

“Use my cataclysm on her?” Chat asked. “I’m annoyed and tired and angry, but I’d never use this on a person. I have no idea what would happen.” He said, looking at his hand intently, a little afraid of it.

“It would probably be a cat-astrophe.” Nathanael offered with a nervous laugh, trying to ease the tension. He watched Ladybug roll her eyes and smile.

Chat’s somber expression melted into one of his wide grins. “Who knew that Renard would come to appreciate cat puns? See that My Lady? Maybe I can convert you one day.”

“Not likely.” Ladybug said with a smirk, then her expression became serious. “We have to be on our toes, Volpina can reappear any second.”

“What have I missed? Have you gotten through to Lila at all?” Renard asked, looking around for any sign of orange.

“We’ve made no progress.” Ladybug said with a frustrated sigh. “The akuma’s too strong. I summoned my lucky charm, but all it’s been able to do is help me dodge her attacks.” She said, looking down at her roller skates.

“She’s focusing all of her energy on Ladybug.” Chat added. Every time I try to get close she just traps me in another illusion. I can’t even _protect_ you, My Lady.” Chat said, hanging his head.

Ladybug walked up to her partner and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing a great job, kitty. We can do this.” Then she looked over at Renard, “We’re an unstoppable team.”

Chat straightened up and looked at Renard with a grin. “Right. What’s the plan?”

“The plan?” Renard asked, taken off guard.

“You know Lila better than us. If anyone can get through to her, it’s you.” Ladybug said with an encouraging smile.

“Oh, right.” Renard took a deep breath. “Okay, first we –” Then he gasped as he was hit from behind.

“Aw, it looks like the gang’s all here.” Volpina cooed. Renard rolled over and was about to get to his feet, but then Volpina placed a boot on his chest, holding him in place.

“I’ve been waiting for you.” She said, her eyes flashing with malice. “You’ve already missed so much of the _fun_.” She grinded her heel into his chest, and Renard let out a gasp.

“Remember when you saved Lila that one night? You had such a cute heart-to-heart. She talked to you about her love for writing, even confessed to admiring a certain boy in her class.” She paused and looked down at him, her smile sweet but her gaze hard. “Guess what? Now her notebook is destroyed and her little friend is decorating the _pavement_. So much for a hero.”

Renard looked up at her in rage, but then he noticed her eyes. They were filled with tears. He saw the familiar green tinged with red, the streaks of water that glistened as they traveled down her face. The rest of her was Volpina. But those eyes, right now they were Lila’s.

‘She thinks I’m dead.’ Nathanael thought, his heart clenching painfully. But this meant that Lila was still in there. This meant that he could still reach her. They could _do this_.

“I may not be the hero of this story, but I know who is.” Renard said, looking up at Volpina. He slowly moved his hand towards his grappling hook, finding the trigger.

“And who is that?” Volpina asked, her eyes narrowing.

He quickly glanced at the platform in the center of the Arc’s roof before giving Volpina a smug grin. “Lila.” Then he pointed his grappling hook at the platform and pulled the trigger, freeing himself from Volpina’s foot and putting her off balance. He could hear her snarl as he flew vertically towards the platform. It wasn’t his most graceful moment, and his back stung a bit in pain as it collided with the concrete, but he knew he could save Lila now, and that was all that mattered.

“You’re not going to win! I won’t let you!” Volpina screeched, then she raised her whip in the air to strike Renard. He didn’t have time to get to his feet before the whip came towards his face.

Then Ladybug rushed to stand in front of him and caught the whip on her wrist. “I thought _I_ was the subject of your revenge. I’m starting to get jealous of all the attention he’s getting.” Ladybug said, standing her ground as she stared daggers at Volpina.

Renard looked up at her in awe. He would never stop being impressed by Ladybug, by Marinette. In moments like these he could have sworn that she could take on the world.

“And don’t forget about me.” Chat Noir said, moving to stand next to his partner. “I suggest crawling back into your little fox-hole before this gets ugly.”

Renard slowly got to his feet, never taking his eyes off of Volpina. The tears were gone, but he could still see Lila in those eyes, begging to be let out. He knew that feeling too well.

“Sorry, _cat_ , but this end tonight.” Volpina spat, venom in her tone. Then she pulled back on her whip, causing Ladybug to fly forwards. However, Ladybug anticipated this and used the momentum to turn her body so that she was headed right for Volpina – feet first.

Volpina’s eyes widened in shock and she teleported away once more. Ladybug rolled on the ground and quickly got to her feet, turning around and searching for Volpina in the growing darkness.

“How do you expect to win if you can’t catch me?” Volpina said with more composure than she had before, standing on the other side of the roof. She held the whip taut in her hands.

_‘She does not deserve to wield that.’_ Yishu said, anger in her voice. Nathanael was confused for a moment, but then he finally noticed the resemblance. It didn’t have nine tails coming off of it, but it held that same glow that Alice’s whip did. Yishu was right. He refused to let Alice’s memory be tainted this way.

Memory. He thought about the memories he shared with Volpina – with Lila – before he was thrown from the roof. The miraculous had given him the power to use the past as a weapon. It was the only way to save Lila. To help her break free.

“Lila. I know you’re scared. I know you’re probably still angry too, and confused. It’s okay to feel like that. You have a right to. But right now I need you to keep fighting. Right now you need to let go of your anger. Right now I need you to trust me.” He looked into Volpina’s eyes – Lila’s eyes, and hoped that he was breaking through, even if it was only an inch.

“I will never stop fighting for you, Lila. I will _never_ give up. So don’t give up on yourself.” He watched the slight tremor in Volpina’s hands. She looked at him in confusion, and then the whip fell from her hands. He watched as it dissolved in a flash of light once it hit the concrete.

“What do you think your doing?” Volpina yelled, clutching her wrist as if it was on fire. Renard saw the black and white light glow from her arm once more. Every inch mattered.

Renard ran across the rooftop directly towards Volpina. She could only look on in horror as he wrapped his arms around her. “It looks like I’ve caught you.” He whispered. Then a memory swirled around them, cutting them off from the rest of the world. This time it was more substantial, more like they were reliving it than simply looking at a photograph. The Notre Dame was in the distance. The night breeze was cool against his face. He could feel Lila’s heat next to him.

_“I thought that maybe, maybe I could be the fox superhero. The rush I felt being Volpina, it was amazing. I hoped that maybe I could be special again, but this time it would be for real. This time instead of playing superhero, I could actually be one…It’s dumb. I was a villain. You can’t come back from that.”_

_“I was akumatized too, you know. Twice, actually.”_

_“Really?”_

_“I’ve been embarrassed, lonely, heartbroken, lost. I know what it’s like to be controlled by Hawkmoth. We aren’t the villains, Lila. Hawkmoth is. We shouldn’t be punished for being sad or angry all of the time. It’s better to confront it, understand it, and then let it go.”_

_“You’re very wise aren’t you? How do I know that you aren’t tricking me? Foxes are known to be cunning.”_

_“Not this fox. Things have just become clearer to me recently. Maybe I’m just growing up.”_

_“You remind me of someone.”_

_“Oh?”_

_“A boy in my class. He always seems to see things that others can’t. He notices every detail.”_

_“Interesting kid.”_

_“Interesting isn’t the right word. He’s…sincere. He makes me believe that I can be better. He makes me want to be better. I wouldn’t say it to his face, but the silly tomato has grown on me.”_

The scene hung in the air for a moment, as if neither Nathanael nor Lila wanted to leave it. It was soft and warm and comforting. It was beautiful. Then the memory was ripped apart when Volpina shoved him off of her.

“Why does this keep happening to me?” She whispered to herself, clutching her arms to her chest as she looked around in fear. Her wrist was still glowing, but with more white than black this time. Then she looked up at Nathanael and gave him a deadly glare. “ _I won’t let it happen again_.” With that she vanished.

Renard looked around, making sure he wouldn’t be hit from behind a second time.

“What was that?” Chat asked, curious green eyes turned on Renard.

“You two were just standing there for a minute, silent.” Ladybug added, furrowing her brow as she held her yo-yo in her hand.

Renard rubbed the back of his neck, thinking through his words. “Well, I can kind of show people the past now, like-like memories and…stuff.”

Chat Noir and Ladybug looked at him with wide eyes.

“I got them when I was falling off of the Arc.” He explained, then he paused. “Funny, isn’t it? Falling off of things seems to be my forte.” Renard added with a nervous laugh.

“How – but Yishu –” Ladybug began.

“That’s so cool!” Chat exclaimed, bouncing on his feet. “Man, I’m so jealous!”

Renard fiddled with his miraculous. Ladybug noticed the action.

“Did your miraculous –?” She began, but then Volpina appeared above them, floating high in the air and silhouetted by the moon, her tail swaying in the breeze. Despite how serious this situation was, he couldn’t help but wish he had his canvas and paint with him. His fingers twitched, longing to hold a paintbrush. Then he noticed that she had something in each of her arms. Wait, some _one_.

“Let’s play a little game, shall we?” Volpina declared with a wide grin. “I have two civilians, one in each hand.”

“Alya.” Ladybug gasped.

“Nino.” Chat breathed, clenching his fists. Renard took a closer look and realized that it was indeed them – he could see Alya’s stark white shoes and Nino’s red hat clearly. They both seemed to be unconscious.

“This is just a trick. Don’t trust her.” Renard warned. “Remember what she did with Adrien?”

Both Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at him, probably remembering when Volpina dangled an illusion of Adrien off of the Eiffel Tower when she was akumatized for the first time. Marinette had told Nathanael on his roof a few nights ago how close she was to giving up her miraculous, that if it wasn’t for Chat she would have.

“Ah. Clever fox, but not that clever. You see, one is real; one is an illusion.” Volpina explained.

“What are you trying to do, Volpina?” Renard asked through narrowed eyes.

“I’m just curious, I suppose. Let’s treat this as more of an experiment than a game. Let’s see how Paris’ golden heroes react them I drop them both.” With that she loosened her grip and let Alya and Nino fall.

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other, and then they nodded their heads in unspoken agreement. They didn’t have a choice. They couldn’t risk not saving their friends. Ladybug headed for Alya and Chat Noir headed for Nino. Renard analyzed the situation. This had to be a trick. Volpina was known for her lies, her deception. He saw the smug grin on the villain’s face, almost like she knew she would win no matter what.

‘What’s the point of this? Obviously they can both be saved.’ Renard thought, then he understood.

“Wait! Stop!” Renard yelled, but it was too late. Ladybug and Chat Noir caught their friends in their arms at the same time. Renard watched as they both breathed a sigh of relief, but then Alya and Nino melted and coiled around them. Soon they were struggling to break free from Volpina’s illusions, which had managed to bind their arms and feet.

Renard looked over the edge of the Arc and saw a crowd of people below. At the front of the crowd was Alya, her phone raised in his direction, and at her side was Nino, who had a protective arm around her waist as he looked around for any potential threats.

“They were both illusions.” Renard said to himself, moving to look up at Volpina once more. He could hear her laughter as Ladybug and Chat Noir continued to struggle.

“Looks like the little fox is on his own now.” Volpina said with a laugh.

“It’s me you want to fight Volpina!” Ladybug yelled. Nathanael could sense her frustration.

“At first, I suppose.” Volpina said, putting a finger on her chin. “But I’ve come to find _this_ hero much more interesting.” Her eyes flashed as she looked down on Renard. “Besides, Paris can’t have two foxes, can it?”

“Let us go Volpina! I’ll make sure to give you a fight you’ll never forget!” Chat Noir yelled, trying to move his arms out of his restraints.

“Calm down, kitty. You had your chance. Now you get to sit tight and watch me destroy your friend.” Renard saw the purple outline appear on her face. “Oh, and of course, then I’ll take your miraculouses.”

Renard straightened up to his full height and met Volpina’s eyes with an unwavering gaze. “Don’t worry guys. I won’t let that happen.”

“There are some things you can’t control.” Volpina said, floating down to land lightly on the roof.

“You’re right. There _are_ some things you can’t control.” Renard replied casually, making his grappling hook do lazy loops at his side. Then he looked at Volpina. “In my experience I’ve come to find that Lila is one of them.”

Volpina scoffed, but then she winced as her wrist let out another flash of white light. Renard took the opportunity and aimed his grappling hook at Volpina’s feet. He pulled the trigger and watched as one of the prongs went perfectly around her left heel. Then he yanked on the slack, causing Volpina to lose her balance and fall backwards.

“Oops, sorry. Let me help you up.” Renard said as he ran towards Volpina. He grabbed both of her wrists as she was trying to get back up, and another memory solidified around them.

_“What are you working on?”_

_“Oh, it’s just, some sketches I’ve been working on.”_

_“I’ve never seen you draw before.”_

_“I-I haven’t opened this sketchbook in a while.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Before you moved here, Hawkmoth akumatized me. He took what I loved most – art – and used it for evil. It’s taken me a while to be able to draw again. It’s been hard not to remember his voice in my head.”_

_“Oh, wow.”_

_“But I’m good now. This past week I’ve learned a lot. Marinette has helped me. And-and you too.”_

_“Me?”_

_“You know what it’s like to be under his control, and you’re working to be better too. You’re strong. You make me want to be strong.”_

“See, Lila? You inspire m–people.” Renard said, catching himself. “He’s the one you told me about on the roof, isn’t he? He cares about you, I know it. I _promise_ you. He cares as much about you as you do about him. You changed him for the better, just like he changed you. He needs you back, Lila. More than anything. Isn’t that more important than any anger, any revenge that this akuma is promising?”

Volpina looked up at him in shock for a moment, her eyes wide and questioning. Nathanael could see himself in them – he had almost forgotten that he was wearing a mask. Then one of his hands began to burn and he quickly pulled it away. He watched as Volpina’s wrist glowed – it almost looked like a dying star.

“Lila.” Renard whispered.

“Renard, look out!” Ladybug called somewhere behind him. He sensed something heading for his face but he was too slow to react. Then he watched as Volpina’s glowing wrist flew across his line of sight. He braced himself for the blow, but it never came. When he opened his eyes he saw that Volpina’s left hand was clenched in a fist by his face, while the other hand – the one with the akuma – was holding it back.

“How am I supposed to believe you?” Volpina said through clenched teeth, struggling to keep her left arm in place.

‘Lila is fighting back.’ Nathanael thought, watching the battle take place before him.

“How can you really convince me that I’m worth something? You don’t even know me. I’m just a liar.” Volpina said, her eyes frustrated and sad. He could see her hands trembling.

“No, no, you’re so much more than that.” Renard said softly, reaching out a hand to wipe one of Volpina’s tears away.

“How do I know that _you_ aren’t lying to me?” Volpina asked, searching Renard’s face an answer.

Renard gave Volpina a soft smile. “Memories never lie.” Then he gently put his forehead against Volpina’s. “Let me show you one more.” He could sense her lowering her arms, and then he felt one of her hands find his own. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. Then tendrils of memory glowed and formed around them, creating a sort of gossamer cocoon of warmth.

Choosing what memories to look back on wasn’t a conscious decision on Nathanael’s part. It was more of a feeling that he followed, like his heart was a dowsing rod that pointed him in the right direction. Much like he how had held on to his glowing miraculous when he fell through the sky, he simply had to find the light in the darkness and cling to it.

When he looked around he noticed that Lila wasn’t in this memory. It was just him and Alya in an empty classroom. His face began to feel warm when he realized just what memory this was.

_“What do you like about Lila?”_

_“Lila is, unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. She doesn’t make anything easy, and she’s insecure. But she’s so strong. She feels and thinks so deeply, and she’s so aware of what’s around her…She’s like a tree. Her branches show one thing, but when you dig down deep there is a network of roots that show much more. She’s fascinating. I just want to know everything about her…What?”_

_“You want to know what to do next? Just be yourself, Nathanael, that’s more than enough.”_

_“B-but what should I say? What should I do?”_

_“I’m sorry, but I can’t really tell you that…But you know that feeling you just had as you talked about Lila?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Just focus on that feeling, and never let it go.”_

“That feeling, Lila?” Renard said, pulling his face away to look into those green eyes. “It can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. It can be friendship, hope,” Renard began, glancing back at Ladybug and Chat Noir, who were looking at him with wide eyes, not completely sure what was going on. “It can mean rooftops at night, writing in your notebook, teasing a certain tomato.” Renard said with a smirk. “Personally, I’d like to call it love.”

Nathanael was a little taken aback by what he’d just said. Was that really what that static-y feeling meant to him? Love? Then he looked back at that forest of green and his gaze softened. Whatever happened, however Lila felt, he cared about her. He had never felt this way about another person, so maybe he could dare to call it love. But really it didn’t make much of a difference, no matter what the feeling was he wasn’t planning on letting go of it.

“People can leave you.” Renard said, thinking about Alice. “People can make mistakes.” He continued, an image of Finn flashing across his eyes. “People can be reckless.” Renard added with a smile, thinking of the unplanned kiss that Abigail and Kitty had shared. “But as long as we strive for that feeling, we can never be lost, we can _never_ be worthless.”

Renard slowly lifted Volpina to her feet. “Nathanael knew that, _I_ know that, now it’s time for you to realize that too.”

“Just focus on that feeling.” Volpina said softly, searching Renard’s eyes. He could see that her hands were still trembling.

“And never let it go.” Renard replied with a smile.

The white light coming from Volpina’s wrist began to spread to the rest of her body.

“No! You can’t get rid of me! They’re trying to trick you! Anger, revenge, power! That’s what matters!” Volpina screeched, clutching her head.

“Power means _nothing_.” Volpina shot back. Renard could tell that this was Lila talking.

“You’ll never be happy! You’ll never be satisfied without me!” The akuma yelled between gasps of pain.

“I’d rather live a life of hardship, a life of insults and obstacles,” Lila declared through gritted teeth, lifting up her chin. “than a pretty lie.” The white light exploded around her, and Renard had to shield his eyes. He could hear an agonizing scream, and when the light subsided and he opened his eyes, he saw the black butterfly darting through the air, carving erratic, uncontrolled paths in the sky above Lila’s head.

“Lila.” Renard breathed, relieved. Her costume, her tail, it was all gone. She gave him a small smile, then her eyes rolled back into her head and her knees buckled. Renard rushed to catch her before she hit the ground. Then he looked up and saw the butterfly still doing aggressive loops in the sky.

‘What do I do now?’ Nathanael thought as he held Lila in his arms. Then he saw a small red blur fly through the air and the akuma was gone.

“Gotcha!” Ladybug yelled. Renard watched as she twirled her yo-yo expertly in the air, and when she opened it a white butterfly flew out and fluttered lazily towards the sky.

“Bye bye, little butterfly.” Ladybug said softly, watching it float away. Nathanael realized that their restraints must have dissolved when the akuma left Lila’s body.

“Yeah, see you later you horrible, Frankenstein piece of –” Chat mumbled, rubbing his wrists.

“Chat...” Ladybug warned, giving him a look.

Chat huffed and crossed his arms. “No one ties up Chat Noir.”

“What about Copycat?”

“That was one time.”

“And Antibug?”

“Lady…”

“Rogercop restrained you too.” Ladybug interrupted, barely containing her laughter.

“Well they don’t get away with it!” Chat exclaimed, exasperated.

“That’s because I’m always there to untie you.” Ladybug pointed out with a grin.

“And for that I am eternally grateful.” Chat said with a bow, taking his partner’s hand delicately in his own and kissing her knuckles.

“Flirting again, what a shocker.” Lila said, groaning as she opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Then she realized that she was in Renard’s arms. They both heard Ladybug yell “miraculous ladybug” and the city healed around them.

“How are you feeling?” Renard asked, looking over her with a concerned gaze. He glanced at her wrist and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw no mark.

“Amazing.” Lila answered, rolling her eyes. Then she became silent for a moment and Renard watched as her eyes filled with tears.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’ve been through a lot.” Renard said softly. He tried to hide his shock as Lila wrapped her arms around him for comfort, crying into his shoulder.

“Thank you, for saving me.” Lila said, her voice muffled.

“No, you saved yourself, Lila. I just gave you a push.”

Lila pulled away and looked up at him. “Then thank you for pushing.” She said with a watery smile. Then her eyes became panicked and her hand flew up towards her mouth.

“Nathanael.” She whispered. “I threw him off of the roof. I-I killed him.” She looked shattered. Then she looked at Renard. “You knew he was dead. Why did you show me all of those memories of him when he’s – when he’s gone?” She didn’t sound angry, just broken.

“Nathanael isn’t dead, I promise.” Renard said. He helped Lila to her feet, making sure she was steady.

“Really?” Lila asked, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “Where is he? Can I see him? Please I need to see him.” She walked over to the edge of the Arc and looked down, her eyes searching the crowd below.

“Actually, um, well…he’s not exactly _here_ , right now.” Renard said slowly, refusing to meet Lila’s eyes.

“What do you mean? I – Volpina took him from his house, I watched her talk to him, I watched her…” She said, looking back down at the pavement below them. “I even shared memories with him, kind of like I did with you, but…grainier, like there was static.” Lila began to look at Renard with a scrutinizing gaze, and he suddenly felt like she could see right through his mask. “Why is that?”

“That’s – that’s because…I was him.” Renard blurted out. He was mentally slapping himself, but then he realized that he could work with this.

“What?” Lila asked, not convinced.

“Ladybug, Chat Noir, and I were all keeping watch at Nathanael’s house.” Renard began slowly. “Except _I_ was the decoy.”

“So when Volpina took Nathanael –”

“She really took me.” Renard finished. “Volpina isn’t the only one who’s good at illusions.” He said with a nervous smile.

“But the memories you had, those were Nathanael’s memories.” Lila said, her brow furrowed.

“Which he willingly let me use.” Renard explained.

“But why didn’t you fight back?” Lila asked. “Why did you let Volpina throw you off of the roof?”

“Well I couldn’t reveal my identity. And, well, my powers were having some complications…” Renard said, rubbing the back of his neck. Technically he hadn’t told a single lie so far.

“So then how did you –?”

“The poor damsel had to be whisked to safety by his dashing knight.” Chat interrupted, slinging an arm around Renard’s shoulders and giving Lila a wide grin. Renard rolled his eyes.

“So you let me think that Nathanael was dead.” Lila said, holding her arms against her chest as she looked Renard up and down. She seemed wary, less trusting than she was before.

“I –” Renard was about to explain.

“How are you holding up, Lila?” Ladybug asked, walking up to the group to check on their classmate.

“I’m fine.” Lila declared, lifting up her chin. Ladybug gave her an unconvinced look.

Lila slumped her shoulders. “I’m exhausted. I don’t think I ate or slept at all when I was Volpina.” She admitted.

“Then let me take you to a bakery nearby, get you some food. My treat.” Ladybug said with a warm smile. “Then I’ll take you home.”

Lila gave her a small smile in return, then looked down at her shoes. “I’m sorry, Ladybug, what I did –”

Ladybug raised up a hand to silence her. “Already forgiven. People make mistakes sometimes; I know that more than anyone. I hope you can forgive me for what I did that day in the park.”

Lila looked up at her and nodded her head. “Then I guess we’re even.”

Ladybug held out her hand, and Lila reached out to shake it.

“Well isn’t this paw-sitively perfect.” Chat Noir said, ruffling Renard’s hair. “Finally, a happy ending.”

“Get off me, you mangy cat.” Renard said with a laugh, shoving his partner off of him.

“Thank you all, for defeating Volpina.” Lila said. Then she turned towards Renard. “And thank you Renard, for believing in me.”

Renard gave her a low bow. “Anytime.”

“Hey that’s my thin–oof” Chat grunted, Ladybug giving him a short jab to the stomach.

“Hush kitty, let them have their moment.”

Renard straightened up and looked back at Lila. She seemed to be unsure of him. He was beginning to wonder if he should have just told her that he was Nathanael. But he knew it wouldn’t be right. Lila deserved to get back some normalcy in her life. It wouldn’t be right to throw her back into this mess.

“I’ll make sure to tell Nathanael that you’re alright.” Renard said.

“Can you take me to him?” Lila asked, her eyes pleading.

“How about you eat first? I have a good feeling that Ladybug is taking you to the best bakery in Paris, you wouldn’t want to pass that up.” Renard saw Ladybug give him a wide smile.

“But –”

“Lila, please, get some rest, take care of yourself. Nathanael is fine, he’d want you to worry about yourself right now.”

Lila slumped her shoulders in defeat. “You’re probably right.”

“Great. Let’s go guys! I’ve been craving some croissants!” Chat Noir exclaimed, clasping his hands.

“I don’t remember inviting you, kitty. Besides, I don’t think they allow cats inside.” Ladybug said with a smirk, flicking his bell.

Chat deflated. “My Lady, you are too cruel to me. We never get to spend time together.”

“We were just together for hours this afternoon.” Ladybug said with a raised eyebrow.

“I could spend an eternity with you, My Lady, and it still wouldn’t be enough.” Chat declared, giving Ladybug a sincere gaze. Renard could almost see the hint of a blush forming on Ladybug’s cheeks. Then she rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Okay, kitty, but I’m not paying for you.”

Chat scoffed. “A gentleman never let’s his lady pay for him.”

Ladybug smiled again. Renard noticed that she didn’t correct him for calling her “his lady”.

“What about you, Renard? My treat?” Ladybug asked, looking at him with her wide, blue eyes.

“Hey – oof.” Chat was cut off, Ladybug nudging him in the stomach once more.

“You can’t deny that he earned it today, kitty.” Ladybug said, turning to look at her partner.

“Actually, you guys go without me. I’ll distract the reporters.” Renard said, looking down at the crowd that was waiting for them.

“Thank you.” Lila said, walking up to him. “You’re a good person, Renard. A true hero.” She admitted, moving a lock of hair behind her ear. Then her gaze became steely. “But if you trick me like that again, if you pretend to be one of my friends, I won’t need powers to destroy you.”

Renard gulped and looked down at Lila with wide eyes. “Perfectly understandable. Sorry about that.”

“I’m glad we understand each other.” She replied with a sweet smile. Then they all heard a beep.

“That’s me.” Chat Noir said, then he looked at Ladybug. “I need to go recharge, but don’t think that I’m skipping out on this bakery date.” He replied with a wink. Then he quickly grabbed his staff and vaulted away, heading for the nearest building.

“Hey, it’s not a –” Ladybug called after him, but then she just sighed. “That cat will be the end of me.” She said with a laugh.

“You should get going, before your miraculous times out too.” Renard said, looking between Ladybug and Lila.

“Right. Lila, I need you to put your arms around my neck.” Ladybug instructed, turning to face her classmate.

“Why?” Lila asked, looking at the superhero warily.

Ladybug swung her yo-yo next to her hip. “We’re leaving in style.”

Renard watched Lila gulp, but then she clenched her fist and nodded her head. “Okay.” She put her arms around Ladybug’s neck and gave Renard one last glance. He could see a pallet of emotions in her eyes.

“See you later, Renard.” Ladybug said with a smile, looking at a building in the distance.

Renard waved to them both, then watched as Ladybug threw her yo-yo and they both flew through the air. He laughed to himself when he heard Lila’s gasp. “See you later.” He whispered.

 

 

“Renard!” Alya yelled, rushing up to him once his feet landed lightly on the pavement. He released the trigger on his grappling hook and watched as the hook retracted, then he attached it to his hip.

“Renard, what happened up there?” Alya asked, lifting up her phone to get a good angle. Renard glanced behind her and the crowd and saw a red blur making its way across the city rooftops. Then he smiled and looked at his classmate.

“You’re Alya, right?”

“Oh,” Alya said, a little caught off guard. She adjusted her glasses and stood a little straighter. “Yes I am. I run the Ladyblog.”

“I know, I’ve been following it for quite some time. It’s really good.” Renard said, trying not to laugh when he saw the pride and awe in her eyes. If only she knew who was behind this mask, then she’d be slinging her arm around his shoulder and cracking jokes, not looking at him with wide eyes as she kept the camera on her phone focused. “I especially liked one of your newer articles, ‘Fox vs. Bear: Renard Fights Tooth and Tail’.” He added with a chuckle.

“I came up with the name.” Nino admitted, puffing out his chest a little.

“Thank you, that means a lot.” Alya said with a smile, then she adjusted her glasses again and went back into reporter mode. “So can you please tell my viewers what just happened on the roof of the Arc de Triomphe?”

Renard puffed out his cheeks, choosing his words carefully. “As you all might know already,” He began, addressing the crowd, “Volpina has been on the loose for a few days. Today was the day she decided to strike. It wasn’t an easy fight, but eventually Ladybug, Chat Noir, and I managed to get the akuma out of the innocent girl’s body and cleanse it. Paris is safe – it will always be safe – as long as we unite under the flag of hope and determination.” He heard Nino whistle under his breath.

“That’s mad inspiring, dude.” Nino commented.

“You don’t think it was a little much?” Renard whispered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Its perfect.” Alya assured him with a smile.

“But what’s to stop her from being akumatized again?” A member of the crowd asked.

Renard furrowed his brow in thought. “Honestly? It’s all up to her.” He heard mumbling from the crowd and stood up a little straighter. “It’s up to all of us to learn from the past – to not let our sadness, anger, or frustration define who were are. We can’t change the mistakes we have made, the people we have hurt. We can’t take back the words that we regret saying. I know this more than anyone.” Renard confessed, thinking about how he was responsible for Lila being akumatized again.

He looked at the crowd, making eye contact with all of his fellow citizens, seeing their wide, expectant gazes. “The future can be scary; it can be outright terrifying.” Renard admitted with a nervous laugh. “But if we just look back, see the progress we've made, take another step forward knowing that we can be kinder, wiser, more patient people,” Renard smiled, looking at Alya and Nino, “we can do miraculous things.” He took a deep breath and freed his grappling hook from his belt. “So, citizens of Paris, don’t be afraid of the future ahead, don’t be afraid of your emotions, don’t be afraid of Hawkmoth. Let us stand together as a beacon of light, and if we accomplish that, we _will_ triumph.” He gave Nino and Alya one last smile, and then he aimed his grappling hook at the nearest building.

“Thanks for everything, Renard. I hope we can talk again.” Alya said.

“Dude, you might have just become my new favorite superhero.” Nino admitted, raising his fist.

Renard chuckled and tapped it with his own. “Until next time.” Then he pulled the trigger and flew over the crowd, breathing in the night sky. His laugher brought music to the city below.

As he landed on the rooftop he didn’t look back. He couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t leaving, but rather heading for something new. He looked down at his miraculous and could feel its soft hum of power. “Yishu?”

_'Hmm?'_

“I’m happy. I’m totally and unapologetically happy.” Nathanael admitted, smiling at the moon.

_'Me too.'_

He had a feeling – a warm, static-y feeling – that this wasn’t an ending, but rather the beginning that’d been waiting for him since he woke up to an empty classroom. Maybe he’d been dreaming this whole time, and he was finally ready to open his eyes. He aimed his grappling hook at the next building and started to head home, the Parisian streetlamps lighting his way.


	29. Peach Trees in Blossom (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! The Epilogue! Much love for all of you who have stuck with it until the end! This story will always have a special place in my heart. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I have an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT at the end ;) 
> 
> Also follow me on my side blog if you want @ nobodys-pearls :D

 

**~Two weeks later~**

 

"Time to wake up, Tomato.” A voice said next to Nathanael’s ear. “You don’t want to be late for PAH, it was _your_ idea, you know.”

“But Tomatoes don’t go to meetings.” Nathanael mumbled from under his hair, his eyes still closed. He could feel the cool wood of the school desk on his cheek.

“Tomatoes don’t nap either.” The voice said with a laugh, gently moving Nathanael’s hair out of his face. He cracked open an eye and saw Lila standing before him with a wide smile. He offered a grumpy pout in return.

“Five more minutes.” He mumbled, his eyes still blurry with sleep.

“We promised Marinette that we’d take her to the meeting, Nathanael. You wouldn’t want to break a promise, would you?” Lila questioned with a raised brow.

Nathanael blew a stray lock out of his face and slowly got to his feet. “Why do you always have to be right?”

“Would you want me any other way?” She teased, her green eyes flashing. It almost sounded like a challenge.

Nathanael cracked a smile and gently took her hand in his. “Never.”

Then Marinette barreled through the doorway of the classroom, her chest heaving. “Sorry I’m late guys.” She managed to breathe out, putting her hands on her knees.

“Actually,” Lila said sheepishly, “you’re right on time. I kind of knew you would be late so I told you it started earlier. We have about five minutes.”

Marinette opened her mouth in shock. “You tricked me!” She accused, pointing her finger. Nathanael felt Lila’s hand twitch. Then Marinette’s eyes widened and she looked at the floor, realizing what she said. “I’m sorry, Lila –”

“Nothing to apologize for.” Lila interrupted with a smile. “It hasn’t been easy, you know, telling the truth all of the time. I can’t just slip off that part of myself.” She admitted with a sigh. “However, I have learned that some lies are harmless. Some lies can help tardy girls get to meetings on time.” She gave Marinette a pointed look, and her friend gave an awkward laugh in reply.

“We can’t be perfect, but we can be good, we can try.” Nathanael continued, giving Lila’s hand a squeeze. She looked over at him and smiled.

“Right. We just have to try.”

“Is this where the meeting is taking place?” Adrien asked, walking into the room. Nathanael watched Mariette let out another nervous laugh.

“No, we usually have it in the courtyard. We’re heading over there now, though.” Nathanael said.

“Great.” Adrien said with a wide smile, but Nathanael could sense some nervousness behind it.

“Hi Adrien, how’s it, um, going?” Marinette said, giving him a little wave. The nervousness on Adrien’s face melted away and he gave Marinette a grin.

“It’s going great actually.” He said, adjusting the strap on his bag. “Nino and I went to get the new Mecha Strike yesterday.”

Marinette’s jaw dropped. “You don’t mean, Mecha Strike: Emerald Edition, do you?”

Adrien only grinned wider, and Nathanael noticed how Chat-like he looked as he puffed out his chest a little. “That’s the one.”

“They said they weren’t releasing it until next week!” Marinette exclaimed, waving her arms a bit.

“Yeah, well, the guy who owns the store likes me I guess. I’ve gotten a lot of games from him over the years.” Adrien admitted, his gaze suddenly distant. Nathanael could see all of those lonely years collected in his eyes.

“You have to let me play it.” Marinette said, her eyes wide and pleading. “At least let me _see_ it.” Then she processed the words that had just left her mouth and gasped. “I’msosorrythatwassorudeofmeforgetIsaidanything –” Marinette rushed out, bowing her head in shame and embarrassment.

“How about today, after the meeting?” Adrien asked. He looked excited.

“Wh-what?” Marinette breathed, lifting her head up to stare at him in confusion.

“You’re really good at these games. I was hoping that you could give me some tips.” Adrien admitted. “I want to see the look on Nino’s face when he watches me destroy him. We kind of have a bet in place, and I really want those – um, well –” Adrien coughed, realizing that he said too much.

“Those what?” Lila asked, a small smile on her lips. Nathanael couldn’t help but stare at that mischievous gleam in her eye, and his heart skipped a beat.

Adrien laughed nervously. “Well, um, yeah, so there may or may not be these headphones on sale…” He began, dragging out his words.

“And what’s so special about these headphones, Adrien?” Nathanael inquired, trying to maintain an innocent expression as he batted his eyes. He heard Lila snort.

“They kind of, they may have –” Then Adrien mumbled something incoherent under his breath.

“What was that?” Marinette asked, her curiosity overpowering any nervousness around her crush.

Adrien sighed and slumped his shoulders in defeat. “They have cat ears on them.”

A laugh escaped Nathanael’s lips and he quickly covered his hands over his mouth. He watched Adrien shoot him a glare.

“Trying to emulate a certain superhero?” Marinette asked, a very ladybug-like smirk on her lips.

At mention of his alter ego Adrien puffed out his chest again. “I would be lucky to be compared to one of the greatest heroes in Paris. I would consider it the highest compliment.” He proclaimed, putting a dramatic hand on his chest.

Marinette gave him a strange look for a moment, almost like she was remembering something, but then she shook her head and smiled. “I don’t know, Adrien, Chat Noir is certainly one-of-a-kind.”

Adrien’s eyes widened for a moment, and then he looked at his shoes and grinned. “I guess you’re right.”

“And besides, you are kind and sweet and perfect just the way you are. People should hope to be compared to _you_.” Marinette pointed out, giving him a warm smile. Then she gasped and almost fell over one of the chairs. “I mean – you know, I – uh – you’re –” She stuttered out, flailing her limbs a little. Then she made eye contact with Nathanael and took a deep breath. “You’re a great guy, Adrien. That’s what I mean.” She explained, only a slight waver in her voice.

Adrien looked at her in shock for a moment, and Nathanael could have sworn he saw a slight blush in his friend’s cheeks. “Wow. Thank you, Marinette.”

“Okay, I’m sorry to break up this touching scene, really.” Lila interrupted, looking at the classroom clock, “But now we _are_ running late.”

“Oh! Sorry, Nathanael.” Marinette said, looking at her friend. “We should hurry; you can’t be late for your own meeting.”

“Lead the way.” Adrien said with a smirk. It looked like he was fighting the urge to bow.

 

 

Nathanael and Lila headed to the doorway, but as they passed Adrien Nathanael said under his breath, “Cat headphones, really?”

“Hey, they’re stylish. I should know, I _am_ a model.” Adrien whispered back.

“Do they come in green and black?” Nathanael teased.

“Yes.” Adrien mumbled. Nathanael laughed.

“Come _on_ , Tomato. I don’t want to drag you all the way there.” Lila groaned, leading him by the hand.

“You could always let go of my hand, you know.” Nathanael pointed out, sounding almost like a challenge.

“I’m sorry but that’s simply not an option.” Lila declared over her shoulder, keeping her firm grip. Nathanael smiled at the back of her head, and then he moved to catch up to her.

“You know, you really killed the moment back there.” Nathanael said, glancing at Lila. “I guess you’re not much of a romantic.”

“They’re just running around in circles, those poor naïve children. I may like to write, but even _I_ know actions speak louder than words.” Lila argued. Then she glanced back at Nathanael. “Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to experience that first hand.”

Nathanael stumbled over his feet for a second and felt the heat rise in his cheeks. Lila laughed and squeezed his hand.

“Now you _really_ look like a tomato.” She said with a laugh. Then they opened the door and entered the courtyard.

“Awesome, you guys are here.” Alya said, standing up from her chair. “We didn’t want to start without you.”

“Thanks.” Nathanael said, coming to stand before a ring of chairs. “Sorry to keep you waiting, guys. We were talking about…”

“Cat headphones.” Lila explained. Nathanael heard Nino snort, then he glanced at Lila.

“What?” She asked with a shrug. “Sometimes honesty is the best policy.” Nathanael rolled his eyes and smiled.

He looked around to see who was here today. There were a lot more people than last time. Everyone in his class was here, even Chloe, along with a few other students from other classes that he recognized. He saw some parents, like Mylene and Sabrina’s dad. Alix’s brother was here too, and the man he would always see at the park feeding the pigeons. All of these faces were looking at him, waiting for him to say something.

“You guys can sit anywhere.” Nathanael said, turning to look at Adrien and Marinette. They looked at each other, and then they took the two empty spots next to Alya and Nino. Lila, a seasoned veteran at this point, went to sit next to Juleka, who gave her a fist bump. Rose beamed at her from the seat on Juleka’s other side. She was wearing a large red shirt over her pink dress that said “Paris Against Hawkmoth.” Around the words was a white butterfly taking flight. Then he noticed that Ivan was wearing the same shirt, but in green.

Nathanael cleared his throat and looked around at the people before him. “Thank you all for coming today. When I first had the idea to set up these meetings, I didn’t really know what to expect. All I knew was that, after being akumatized, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It was something I just had to deal with quietly.” He glanced at Marinette. “But then I learned that it’s okay to ask for help, to depend on other people. The battle we’re facing – we don’t have to face it alone.” Then he smiled at Adrien. “Then I realized that maybe I wasn’t the only person who was feeling this way, who needed to lean on others for support or just to talk to people who understood.”

Nathanael moved to sit in his own chair. “This is why I started Paris Against Hawkmoth, because even though Ladybug and Chat Noir – and, and _Renard_ , are working hard every day to fight Hawkmoth and heal our city,” He began, “we have a duty to try and heal our _hearts_ , because although Hawkmoth has taken something from all of us, we _deserve_ to be whole again.” Nathanael took a deep breath and smiled, and he saw everyone smiling in return.

“Now,” He declared, turning to look at Marinette and Adrien, “new members usually give us their names, their akuma aliases, and why they have chosen to come to these meetings. I know you guys haven’t been akumatized, but if you could say a few words –?”

“I’d love to.” Marinette said with a smile, getting up from her chair. Nathanael couldn’t help but admire her confident stance, that sincere and warm welcome in her eyes, the tightening of her fists. Ladybug glowed around her like a second skin, and yet he was the only one who could see it for what it was.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” She began, her voice clear and firm. “As Nathanael said, I have never been akumatized. However, I have seen my friends transform against their will right before my eyes. I have watched as my parents were taken into the sky by bubbles. I have seen my classmates vanish from existence and Parisian citizens turned into soldiers. All this because of Hawkmoth. I cannot imagine what that villain has put you all through,” Marinette said, her eyes sad as she looked around the circle. “But I _do_ know what it’s like to feel helpless, to not be in control of my own emotions, to be afraid. Although not every member of Paris has been akumatized, we all hold butterflies within ourselves in some way.”

Nathanael could see a shine in her eyes, and he could sense that she was fighting back angry tears. “I chose to come to these meetings because I want all of you to know that I support you. You are good people, and your feelings are valid. Hawkmoth is the only villain, and I will fight him with every last breath if it makes all of you feel safe again.” With that, she sat back down.

Nathanael noticed that her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. She was frustrated, but he knew that this was good for her. She needed to see this, to see that they were okay, that they were fighting too. “Thank you, Marinette. Really.” Nathanael said, giving her a warm smile. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile in return.

“I’m Adrien Agreste, and I came to these meetings because I’m worried that I can’t feel anything at all.” Adrien said with a rueful smirk, already standing. He refused to meet anyone’s eyes. “I haven’t been akumatized, but Hawkmoth has controlled me more times than I can count. But, to be honest, I’ve felt like I’ve been controlled before Hawkmoth even showed up.” Adrien admitted, looking somewhere far away. “Ever since, ever since my mom, vanished,” he began to explain, struggling to find the words, “I haven’t felt like I’ve been in control of my own life. I’ve felt trapped. People keep telling me who to be, what to do, how to feel.” Adrien explained, his knuckles white in his clenched fists. Nathanael knew that he was talking about his father.

“No, I haven’t been akumatized, but I know how it feels to be…a _possession_.” He let out a bitter laugh. “It feels weird for me to talk about this with you guys. I have a good life, I really do, and I love my father, it’s just,” Adrien paused, desperately looking around the room, “I’m beginning to learn that it’s not right for me to feel like this. To be afraid to feel things. To feel like less of a person. I just don’t feel like I’m good enough sometimes, I don’t feel whole. And I thought that you guys would understand.” Nathanael watched as Adrien looked at his shoes, his lips tight as he stood in front of the group in silence.

“People like us,” Nathanael said, waiting until Adrien met his eyes, “we’re meant to fill each other up. _You’ve_ filled me up Adrien.” Nathanael confessed, then he turned to face the rest of the group. “You all have. Sharing your stories, talking through our experiences, it’s made me feel less alone.” He watched as some of his classmates nodded their heads in agreement. “Thank you, Adrien, for telling us what’s on your mind. I know it couldn’t have been easy – none of this is easy – but I hope that it helps, even a little.”

Adrien gave Nathanael a small smile. “I think it’s already beginning to.” With that he sat down, and Nino slung an arm around his shoulders.

“So what do you guys want to talk about first?” Nathanael asked, ready to get the meeting started.

Nino raised up his free hand. “I would like to talk about Hawkmoth’s biggest atrocity.”

Everyone around the room looked at Nino, curious as to what he was about to say.

“My akuma outfit.” Nino said seriously. Adrien snorted and Nino gave him an offended glare. “Why did I have to be so colorful? And why the bubbles? What did that have to do with anything? Hawkmoth already took my free will, did he really have to take my dignity too?!” He exclaimed, waving his arms.

“Hawkmoth made me _pink_.” Juleka mumbled, a disgusted look on her face. “I liked it better when I was invisible.”

“I thought pink was a good color on you.” Rose argued, pouting.

“You think pink looks good on everything.” Juleka teased.

Rose stuck out her tongue and giggled.

“Hawkmoth made me some weird Egyptian god, and a horrendously historically inaccurate one at that. That’s what really traumatized me.” Alix’s brother – Jalil – said, shuddering.

“I don’t know, I got to control pigeons. That was pretty cool.” Mr. Ramier admitted with a small smile.

“That was literally the scariest thing I ever saw.” Adrien confessed with a straight face. Everyone looked at him for a moment, and then the whole room broke out into uncontainable laughter. Nathanael looked over and saw Lila wiping tears away from her eyes as she gasped for air between laughs.

If he was going to leave any legacy, any mark on the past, he would want it to be this, this moment. This act of defiance against Hawkmoth.

 

 

“You were right; the view _is_ amazing from up here.” Lila said, closing her eyes and smiling as the breeze caressed her face. Nathanael looked at her profile, the Parisian skyline acting as her background as she sat on his rooftop, leaning back on her palms. The setting sun created an orange halo around her head. God, she was beautiful.

“It sure is.” Nathanael said softly, not taking his gaze off of Lila. After a few moments of pleasant silence she opened her eyes and caught him looking at her.

“You like what you see, Tomato?” She asked, raising one of her eyebrows.

“And what if I said yes?” Nathanael challenged, but he could still feel a blush heating up his cheeks.

Lila was a little taken off guard by this, but then she let out a sigh and smiled. “I guess I would ask you why.”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like me? What do you see in me?” Lila admitted, hugging her knees to her chest. “From what you told me about your experience with, Renard, I thought you knew by now.” Nathanael replied, looking at the roof tiles.

“I guess it still confuses me. I mean, you’re, you,” Lila said, gesturing at him, “And I’m, well, me.”

“What do you mean?”

Lila turned and smiled ruefully at him. “I suppose it’s only fitting to tell you what I think about _you_ , right? Since Renard kind of showed me how you feel.”

Nathanael blushed and looked at the skyline, “You don’t have t –” Then he felt a gentle hand take one of his own.

“You might possibly be the best thing to ever happen to me, Nathanael.” Lila said. When Nathanael turned he saw her wide eyes looking at him. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t be happy. You’re kind of my hero.”

Nathanael laughed nervously and adjusted his beanie. “I wouldn’t go _that_ far. You’re making me sound like I’m some perfect –”

“I would never say that you’re perfect, Nathanael.” Lila interrupted. “I wouldn’t want that burden on anyone.” Then she moved to sit closer. “What I’m trying to say is that I like you, a lot, and I’m happy that we’re…desk partners.”

“Desk partners?” Nathanael asked.

Lila sighed and turned to look at the buildings in the distance. “I have some bad news.”

Nathanael felt his heart drop in his chest. “What is it?”

“My parents, after the whole thing with Volpina,” Lila began, struggling to find the right words. “We’re still getting reporters at our door, trying to interview me and ask me questions about being Hawkmoth’s ‘worst villain yet’.” Lila explained, her eyes tightening. “So they want to move back to Italy.”

Nathanael’s eyes widened, and he moved his hand away from Lila’s. “What?”

Lila looked back at him, her green eyes sad. “They think that it’d be best for me if we get away for a little while, wait for this to blow over.”

“How long is a little while?” Nathanael asked softly.

“Two months.”

“Two months?” Nathanael breathed, lying down on his roof. “But I feel like I just got you back.”

“I know, but they’re just trying to look out for me, and I think I agree with them. I need to get away from all of those sideways glances and questions.”

Nathanael lifted himself back up to rest on his palms. “I get it. If I could’ve gotten away for a while after being akumatized, I would’ve.” He admitted. “So you should go, it’ll be good for you. You deserve a break.”

“I’ll be back before you know it, and by then it’ll be summer.” Lila said, trying to offer some optimism.

Nathanael sighed and smiled at her. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

They stayed like that for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes, trying to memorize each other’s faces, their glances, the ways their hair moved with the breeze.

“Lila, can I –?” But before Nathanael could finish Lila grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into a kiss. It was soft and sweet and sincere. His first kiss with Lila had been an illusion, and the next was with Volpina, but this was something new entirely. This was something real.

He felt the warmth of her lips and noticed how they perfectly fit with his own. It wasn’t a relatively long kiss, or a passionate one, but rather a simple one shared by two teens. It was laced with nervousness and comfort and anticipation and I’ll miss yous. It was everything a first kiss should be.

Lila pulled away first, but her fists were still balled in his jacket. They kept their eyes closed as their faces were only centimeters apart. He could feel her warm breath on his face.

“When do you leave?” Nathanael asked, refusing to open his eyes, refusing to acknowledge that eventually they would have to get down from the roof and leave this moment. Lila rested her forehead on his own.

“Tomorrow.”

Nathanael’s heart clenched painfully, and spurred by the thought that soon Lila would be gone, he cupped her cheek in his hand and brought her in for another kiss. This one was longer this time, like a dragged out goodbye. He felt her hands rest on his shoulders and he ran tentative fingers through her hair. He could feel the wetness of tears on her cheek, and he deepened the kiss a little, trying to take her pain away, reminding her that in this moment he was still here. Eventually they pulled away and opened their eyes, the cool ocean waves meeting the palm leaves. But only for a moment.

Lila gave him a watery smile. “I’ll be back before you know it.” She repeated.

And in that moment, Nathanael knew she wasn’t lying. They’d meet again, soon. Some things were simply meant to be.

 

 

“So I think that you guys should finally meet tomorrow.” Renard called over his shoulder as he leapt to the next building. He paused and waited for Ladybug and Chat Noir catch up. They had just finished patrolling the city, and they had decided to meet up next to the Louvre.

“Meet who?” Ladybug asked, attaching her yo-yo to her belt and walking up to Renard. Chat Noir landed lightly on his feet and made his way over as well.

“Each other.” Renard said simply. He watched as their eyes widened in understanding. “Volpina is gone and there haven’t been as many akuma attacks lately – I think it’s time.”

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other, almost like they were meeting for the first time. “We already know each other.” Chat stated after a moment, never taking his eyes off of Ladybug. “I know who you are, whether you’re wearing a mask or not.” Then he let out a nervous laugh. “So this won’t be that hard, right?”

“Nathanael,” Ladybug said, glancing over at Renard. He’d never seen Ladybug look so…vulnerable. “You’re the only one who knows our civilian identities. You’ve seen us together without the masks. Will we be able to survive this?”

She was afraid. Afraid to lose this friendship, afraid of how this would affect their teamwork – affect the safety of Paris. She was afraid of the future.

Renard’s gaze softened. “Absolutely. You two can survive anything. It might not be easy at first, it might take some getting used to, but I _know_ that you’ll come out stronger in the end.” He paused. “Because that’s just how you guys are.”

Ladybug’s eyes brightened and she looked back at Chat. “You’re right.” Then she took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

Chat grinned. “Me too.”

Renard nodded his head in approval. “I have a surprise for you guys, so meet me in front of the Dupain-Cheng bakery at ten tomorrow, okay? Out of costume.” He added, reaching for his grappling hook.

“I look forward to it, My Lady.” Chat Noir said. Nathanael assumed that he would kiss her knuckles like he always did, but instead he pulled her in for a gentle hug.

Ladybug’s eyes widened in surprise, but then she smiled and hugged him back. “Same here, kitty.”

Renard smiled and he lifted up his grappling hook, pointing it at a building in the distance. “I have one more stop to make before I go home, so I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Oooo, a late night escapade? Your miraculous has changed you, Nathanael.” Ladybug teased, pulling away from the hug to smirk at him.

“Maybe we should go on an escapade of our own?” Chat Noir suggested with a wide grin.

Ladybug looked him up and down, then she flicked his bell. “The night’s still young, how about I beat you to the Eiffel Tower?”

“Well, I don’t know about _beating_ me, but you can certainly watch as I – Hey! That’s cheating!” Chat Noir and Renard watched as Ladybug took off, flying through the Parisian streets. They could hear her distant laughter.

“Good luck with Lila, Nathanael.” Chat said with a wink, then he extended his staff and took off into the night.

“I’m right behind you, Bugaboo!” He called.

Renard rolled his eyes and smiled as he watched the two blurs become more distant. Then he pulled the trigger on his grappling hook and headed in the other direction.

As he approached Lila’s house he saw that one window on the second floor was still alight. He landed lightly on the roof, and then slowly brought himself down to the window, hanging onto his grappling hook. He saw that Lila was packing her suitcase. Not wanting to spy on her, he gently rapped on the window with his free hand. He watched her jump and then spin around to look at him. Her brow was furrowed as she went up to the glass.

“What are you doing here?” She questioned, opening the window and looking up to see his grappling hook attached to her roof. “Superheroes.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I come bearing gifts.” Renard declared, then he looked sheepishly at the room behind her. “But I kind of need two hands in order to give them to you.”

Lila furrowed her brow once more and stepped aside, allowing him to step through the window and into her room.

“Going on a trip?” Renard commented, looking at her suitcase as he attached his grappling hook to his belt. He tried not to blush when he saw a glimpse of one of her bras.

“You could say that.” Lila answered with a sigh. “I won’t be in Paris for a few months, so I guess you won’t have to worry about Volpina for a while.” She explained, a hint of bitterness in her tone.

“I’m not worried about Volpina. I have a feeling that she’s gone for good.” Renard said simply, looking over his shoulder at Lila. He noticed her small smile. Gosh she was pretty. He could still remember the feel of her lips, the warmth in her cheeks. Then he shook his head and looked away. Renard didn’t kiss Lila, Nathanael did.

‘Let’s not make this any more complicated than it needs to be.’ He thought to himself, removing a wrapped package from his belt.

“Then I guess you can consider this a going away present.” He said, offering her the gift.

She looked over it with curious eyes, then she carefully removed the paper to find two notebooks.

“What are these for?” She asked, looking up at him. He held out his hands and she gave them over.

“This one,” He began, opening up the black notebook, “is your past.” Lila looked down to see her old writings, covered up by Chloe’s horrible scribbles. He watched her eyes tighten.

“Why would you give me this?” She asked, holding her arms to her chest.

“It’s a part of you, Lila. It represents who you have been. You’re full of ideas and thoughts, and although you’ve faced some obstacles, you’ve learned how to overcome them.” Renard held out the black notebook, and after a moment’s hesitation she took it back from him.

“This one,” Renard declared, opening up a deep blue notebook full of blank pages, “represents your future.” He lifted his eyes to look at her. “Where you go from here, who you choose to be, is completely up to you. Your future is full of potential and decisions, just like this notebook.” He offered the blue notebook, and Lila took it from him, holding it closer to her chest than the other one.

“The past is my gift to you, and your future is the gift you have to give yourself.” Renard explained, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Lila looked at him with wide eyes. “That was super cheesy.” She said plainly.

Renard choked and snapped his gaze towards her. “I was trying to be sincere.” He protested.

“Foxes aren’t meant to be sincere.” She said with a rueful smile. “But I guess you’re the exception.”

“I like to be upfront with people, when I can.”

“Like how you pretended to be my boyfriend and then made me believe he was dead?” Lila offered, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re never going to let that go are – wait, did you just say boyfriend?” Renard asked, trying to control the heat that was rising in his cheeks. He noticed that Lila was blushing as well.

“Well, we haven’t really talked about it, but, I’d like him to be.” Lila said quietly, looking away and moving a lock of hair behind her ear.

“He’s a lucky guy.” Renard replied with a smile.

“I just hope that he’ll wait for me, two months is a long time.” Lila admitted, holding on to her notebooks a little tighter.

Renard put his hands on her shoulders. “My miraculous has given me a sixth sense of sorts,” He began, “so trust me when I tell you, he’ll be counting the days until you get back.”

Lila smiled and nodded her head. “I hope you’re right.”

“Safe travels, Lila. Take care of yourself, and I hope that those pages fill up soon.” Renard said, heading for the window.

“Thanks, Renard.” Lila replied, and Renard turned back to look at her. “For the visit, for the gifts, and for the advice. I’m looking forward to reading about all of the heroic things you’re doing on the Ladyblog while I’m gone.”

Renard gave her one last smile, and although she didn’t know it, Nathanael was trying to etch the scene into his memory. He really was going to miss her.

“Bye, Lila.” With that he leapt out of the window, feeling the cool breeze on his face all the way down.

 

 

Nathanael leaned against the lamppost near the Dupain Cheng bakery and checked his watch. 9:51 am. He wondered who would show up first. Marinette was notorious to being late for things, but he hoped that since they were supposed to meet right outside her door she’d be on time. Adrien also texted him earlier that morning that he had a photo shoot until 9:45, but would head over right after it was done. Nine more minutes. He realized that once the clock struck 10:00, things would be different.

It seemed like everyone was facing the past and future, and Ladybug and Chat Noir were no exception. He couldn’t help but worry if he was making the right choice. But something told him that it was time. He didn’t know if it was his miraculous, or his new fox perception, or just his own heart, but something inside of him pointed towards this moment.

He glanced to his right and saw the tarp that was covering the wall next to the bakery. This was an important moment for him too. After what seemed like a lifetime ago, he was finally reuniting with an old friend.

“Is it okay if I say hello to Plagg?” Yishu asked from inside his beanie. Nathanael was pulled away from his thoughts and he shifted against the lamppost. “It feels weird that an ancient being is asking me for permission.” He admitted with a chuckle. Then he looked around. It wasn’t a very busy morning, and the people who were around seemed too preoccupied with their day to notice a small orange fox. “But yeah, the coast should be clear.”

“This is so exciting!” She exclaimed, braiding his hair with more intensity.

“Agh, pulling, pulling!” Nathanael exclaimed, biting back a hiss of discomfort.

“Oh, sorry!” Yishu said, unraveling the braid and stroking his hair instead. “I am just –”

“Excited?” Nathanael offered. Ever since he was separated from Yishu on the Arc, he had begun to appreciate how much he needed her warm presence. Having her around always made him feel more at ease, not because of her power, but because of her joy – her love.

“Very.” Yishu said with a giggle. “How are _you_ feeling, Nathanael?” She asked.

He looked up at the sky for a moment, pursing his lips in thought. It was incredibly blue, with sunshine reflecting off of the clouds. An entire, breathtaking world surrounded him, like the “Water Lilies” mural at the Musée d’Orsay.

“Warm.” He answered.

“Good morning, Nathanael!” Marinette called from the bakery door, making her way over to her friend. She had a white paper bag in her hands.

“Your parents are going to have to let me pay for all of these free pastries at some point.” Nathanael said, looking from the paper bag to Marinette.

“Nope, we have a strict rule: family never needs to pay.” Marinette said seriously.

Nathanael’s eyes widened for a moment, then he smiled and looked through the window of the bakery, seeing Tom and Sabine hard at work. “Okay.”

“So how were you allowed out of the house anyway? I thought your parents had you on semi-lockdown.” Marinette asked.

When Nathanael’s parents had come home that night Volpina attacked, they were frantic. Nathanael had just crept through his bedroom window and detransformed when they came bursting in, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. They had seen the news, and had watched as their son was falling from the Arc de Triomphe, an alien glow surrounding him.

“I told them what I told Alya when she played back her footage and saw me – it was Renard.” Nathanael answered simply. He remembered Alya coming up to him the next day in school and playing the video of him transforming, convinced that he was the new fox superhero.

“I explained how Ladybug, Chat Noir and Renard came to me asking to stay at the house, while Renard pretended to be me. I was in my bedroom the entire time.” Nathanael said with a shrug. Obviously it took a lot more details and convincing than that, but in the end he managed to calm his parents down and give Alya a story she was content with. And technically most of it was the truth.

“I’m impressed that you threw Alya off the trail.” Marinette said.

“Lila backed me up in school, so that helped. That’s actually the only reason that my parents decided to let me out of the house. She came over yesterday and talked to them, confirming my story. She has a way with words.” Nathanael said wistfully, looking down the street.

“Lila must be back in Italy by now.” Marinette said softly, searching Nathanael’s gaze.

“Yeah, she left for her flight early this morning.” Nathanael replied. He had offered to visit her house before she left, but she’d asked him not to come. She told him that if she saw him, she wouldn’t want to leave. But she _had_ texted him an hour ago, saying that if he didn’t keep in touch she would fly back from Italy and throw him off of the Arc de Triomphe for real. He had smiled at that.

“Hold are you holding up?” Marinette asked.

Nathanael sighed and looked at her with a small smile. “I’m alright. We’re going to text each other every day. Apparently I’m “Tomato” in her contacts.” He said with a laugh. “We’ll survive this.” He added, echoing the words that Ladybug had said last night.

Marinette smiled, her blue eyes bright. Then she puffed out her cheeks, nervousness evident on her face.

“So, I’m guessing that Chat hasn’t arrived yet?” She asked. Nathanael watched as she wrung her hands nervously around the bag, looking up and down the street.

“Not yet. But he should be on his way.”

Marinette only nodded her head. She looked like she was having trouble breathing.

“It’ll be alright, Marinette.” Nathanael assured her.

“But I know him in my civilian life!” Marinette suddenly blurted out, shifting from one foot to the other. “How haven’t I been able to figure it out sooner?”

“You just haven’t been looking, you haven’t _needed_ to.” Nathanael answered simply.

“Nathanael,” Marinette said softly, tugging at one of her pig tails. “I need to know – what are we to each other? Are we friends? Enemies? Do we pass each other in the hallway without a second glance?”

Nathanael couldn’t tell which option Marinette thought was worse. “Marinette –”

“Sorry Nathanael, I got here as quickly as I could, Vincent kept wanting to take more and more photos and – oh, hey Marinette.” Adrien said, a little out of breath as stopped to stand next to Nathanael.

“Good morning, Adrien.” Marinette replied with a warm smile.

“I wanted to thank you for the help yesterday, now I’m going to win that bet for sure.” Adrien said, his eyes bright.

Marinette giggled behind her hand. “Thank you for letting me play the new Mecha Strike with you, it was a lot of fun.” She admitted.

Adrien looked at her for a moment and grinned. “Yeah it was, wasn’t it?”

“My services do require a fee, however.” Marinette declared, a glint in her eye.

Adrien raised an eyebrow. “And that is?”

“I want one picture of you in those cat headphones.” She said, trying to bite back a smirk.

Adrien ran a hand through his hair and laughed. “You have a deal.”

“So what are you doing here, anyway?” Marinette asked. “Is Nino around?”

Adrien glanced at Nathanael, then he looked back at Marinette. “Nathanael actually invited me.”

Marinette looked at Nathanael in confusion.

Nathanael tried his best not to groan. ‘Have they really not figured it out yet? Gosh they’re just in denial at this point.’ He thought to himself, shaking his head. But he didn’t want to push them, they had to figure it out on their own. So he walked up to the tarp and grabbed it with both hands.

“I have something I want to show you guys.” He said, looking between his two friends.

“Wait, aren’t we waiting for someone?” Adrien asked, looking around. Marinette glanced over her shoulder as well.

Nathanael fought the urge to roll his eyes. “They’ll catch up eventually.” He said, being the only one to appreciate the irony. Then he cleared his throat. “I’ve been working on this for the past two weeks, ever since Volpina was defeated.

“Working on what? Papa and Maman told me that the wall was just under construction.” Marinette said, her brow furrowed.

“Tom gave me permission to use this wall, and I told them I was keeping it a surprise.” Nathanael said. He looked through the bakery window and saw Tom giving him a thumbs up. He waved.

“But when did you have time to work on this? How did I not notice?” Marinette said, waving her arms a bit.

“Sam, the security guard you two met at the Louvre, acted as my lookout. And you like to sleep in, especially on school days.” Nathanael answered. He saw the slight blush on Marinette’s cheeks.

“I still can’t believe I never noticed.” She grumbled. He knew Marinette well enough that she liked to be in control of her surroundings. But he also knew that she’d appreciate the surprise.

“You’d be surprised what people don’t see.” Nathanael said cryptically, looking between Adrien and Marinette. Then he pulled on the tarp and watched it fall to the ground. He heard Marinette and Adrien gasp.

The entire wall was now a mural. And it was them – Ladybug, Chat Noir and Renard. Chat Noir had his arm around Renard’s shoulders, a wide grin on his face and a mischievous glint in his eye. Ladybug was fist bumping Chat Noir’s free hand, a slight smirk on her lips as she stood confidently next to him. The two original superheroes were looking at each other with hope and affection, while Renard appeared to be looking at both of them, a small smile on his face like he knew he was home. They were heroes, but they were also teenagers. They were also friends.

The orange, green, and red brush strokes looked confident and certain on the wall, and the colors blended perfectly, almost like they were meant to be together. Nathanael lightly trailed his fingers along the mural. He was proud of his work. When he first picked up his paintbrush – the blank wall before him and his sketch in his free hand – he wasn’t sure if he could do it. But once his brush touched the cool white surface, any nervousness fluttered away like butterfly wings.

‘Hello, old friend.’ He thought to himself.

“This…is incredible.” Marinette breathed, taking a step towards it.

Adrien simply stood there gaping. Then, sounding like an awed child, he said, “Chat Noir is in the middle.” It sounded like almost like a question.

“I’ve always considered him to be the foundation of the team.” Nathanael said honestly. He watched as Adrien continued to look at the painting, his wide greens eyes trying to soak it all in.

“Chat should see this.” Marinette said, looking around once more.

“Ladybug too.” Adrien said, turning his gaze on Nathanael.

Nathanael simply smiled and went to stand in between them. “They’re looking at it right now.”

Both of them stared at him in confusion for a moment, and then they met each other’s gazes. Their eyes widened as they looked at each other.

“Kitty?” Marinette asked softly, bringing her hand up to her mouth in shock.

“My Lady?” Adrien breathed.

In that moment all of Paris was silent. Even the wind stood still as time stretched impossibly long, each second an eternity. Then Nathanael heard a laugh.

Marinette snorted, then she covered her mouth with both hands, her eyes wide. “I’m sorry.” She said, but then another laugh escaped. Adrien looked at her for a moment, and then started to laugh too. Soon they were both doubled over, gasping for air, their laughter loud and wheezing.

Nathanael wasn’t sure what was going on, maybe they were in shock, but he couldn’t help but smile as he watched his friends’ uncontrollable snorts and giggles.

Marinette took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. “You’re Chat Noir.” She didn’t say it like a question, but rather like a fact she’d known her whole life.

“At your service, Ladybug.” Adrien replied, giving her a bow. Marinette giggled.

“We’re idiots.” She continued, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment. “Absolute idiots.”

“As long as I get to be _your_ idiot.” Adrien said with a Chat-like grin. He noticed Marinette’s cheeks pink, and his eyes widened slightly in surprise. Then he grinned even more. “Ah, now you don’t have a mask to hide your blush. I knew my charm was having an affect on you.”

Then Marinette crossed her arms and put on a look of calm, her eyes bright with mischief. “And now _I_ know that you’re a huge dork, with or without the mask.” She shot back.

“Hey, I’m a _model_. I’m overflowing with cool.” Adrien protested, flexing a little. Both Marinette and Nathanael rolled their eyes.

“I think that she’s referring to the fact that Chat Noir wanted cat headphones.” Nathanael pointed out. Marinette nodded her head in confirmation and it was Adrien’s turn to blush.

“I never should have told you guys that.” He mumbled.

“I can’t wait for my next interview with Alya.” Marinette grinned.

Adrien waved his arms. “No, no, no I have a reputation to uphold!”

Nathanael scoffed and Adrien looked at him and pouted. Then he took a deep breath. “You know this makes a lot more sense now.” He confessed.

“What do you mean?” Marinette asked, turning her wide blue eyes on Adrien.

“We’re the only two people in our class who haven’t been akumatized. You’ve started spending all of this time with Nathanael out of the blue. But it’s more than that.” Adrien said, rubbing his neck as he tried to find the words. “You’re kind, Marinette, and caring and passionate and maybe a tad bit short-tempered.” He explained, raising his arms a bit in defense as he said that last part. “You’re so totally Ladybug – no, Ladybug is so totally Marinette,” He corrected. “I’m an idiot for not seeing it sooner.”

Marinette smiled and walked up to him. “As I said before, we’re both idiots. I can’t believe I got so flustered around _Chat Noir_.” She said with a laugh.

“I guess Adrien Agreste can be intimidating, kind of comes with the name.” Adrien said quietly, looking at his shoes.

Marinette lifted his face with a gentle hand. “It’s not like that. I-I guess I thought you were so _perfect_. But you’re not.”

“Wow, thanks.”

Marinette rolled her eyes and smiled. “I don’t mean it like that. I just – I’m happy that I got to know Chat Noir, that he became my best friend. And I’m happy that I’ve been getting to know Adrien too. And now I see _you_ , both sides, and I care deeply about _both_.” She took her hand away from his face and blushed. “You’re not perfect, Adrien, and I’m not either. We’re superheroes, but we’re kids too. We’re allowed to be both. And-and I like both much better, anyway.”

“You-you care deeply about me?” Adrien said, his face a light tinge of pink as well.

Marinette took a deep breath and stood up straighter. “Of course I do, you mangy cat.”

Adrien smiled and held out a fist. “Same here.” Marinette smiled back and tapped his fist lightly with her own.

“I love you guys, but I don’t know about the whole ‘caring deeply’ thing.” Nathanael said, watching their attention turn on him. “Lila might get jealous.”

Adrien grinned and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Harsh words from my number one fan.”

“I’m not your number one fan.” Nathanael objected, trying to keep a straight face.

“Are you sure? I mean you made this huge mural just for me, that’s devotion if I’ve ever seen it.”

Nathanael sputtered and was about to defend himself when Marinette went up to Adrien and flicked his shoulder. “Hey, I’m in that mural too. Maybe _I’m_ his number one fan.”

“Well then I’d have to declare a duel. I can’t have someone else competing for My Lady’s affection.”

“Oh yes, that just _overflowed_ with cool.” Marinette teased.

“I’ll win your heart one day, Marinette.” Adrien stated. Marinette looked at him with wide eyes, and then she smiled.

“I’m looking forward to it.” She replied. Then she puffed out her cheeks. “So, I guess it’s settled then.”

“What’s settled?” Nathanael asked, Adrien’s arm still around his shoulders. He noticed that Yishu and Plagg were talking in one of Adrien’s inside pockets. She must have left his beanie once Adrien showed up.

“Based on this mural, it’s pretty clear that you _do_ in fact care deeply about us.” Marinette stated, looking at their superhero personas.

Nathanael sighed and smiled. “You caught me.”

Marinette went to Nathanael’s other side and looped her arm through his. “I’m happy that it’s you two.” She stated, still looking at the mural. Nathanael and Adrien were looking at it too.

“Agreed.” Adrien said, a small smile on his face.

Nathanael thought it was funny. Three teenagers, three friends, looking at their superhero selves. It felt a little unreal. A little magical.

He always thought that there were two kinds of people in the world – those who liked to fill silences and those who took refuge in it. But people were more complex than that. Silence was more complex than that. Although in this moment the three of them were content to stand there together in silence, it was because it was filled with love and hope and friendship.

That warm, static-y feeling spread around Nathanael’s body, leaving a tingling sensation in his fingertips. He felt like he could take on the world.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story has officially ended. Wow. *deep breath* I plan to do some new short projects in the near future, simpler things, but here is my important announcement...... *drum roll*
> 
> I'm thinking about writing a sequel for this!!!!
> 
> It would be about Lila returning to Paris, the akuma that is still inside of Hawkmoth, Marinette and Adrien adjusting post-reveal, and a certain peacock miraculous in Gabriel's safe.... 
> 
> Tell me what you guys think about the possibility of a sequel! I'd love to get your feedback!
> 
> So I guess that's all for now folks! Fox out! :D


End file.
